Couch 204: The Refactorable Couch

Sorting through stuff is the worst.

Hmm, where can I get some of this mythical extra money of which you speak?

I am a saver and a planner. That is what has me so upset - that the projected fee was so wildly inaccurate that there was no way for me to possibly anticipate how much I needed to save - and saving as much as I would have needed to would have meant I needed to go without for a while. I can accept if that was necessary and it's not even really about fairness or unfairness, I just hate the unexpected. Reasoning that I should have deprived myself of going to therapy for two months just in case I got slapped with a charge that was exponentially larger than the highest projected cost of repairs by a factor of almost five is expecting me to be some sort of seer. And they actually did not charge me for normal wear and tear, they just apparently had the price down incorrectly on their sheet or something. I have some money left in my IRA. I can afford to pay taxes to take what I need out if I have to. Technically, I do have the amount in my account without doing that since I'm honestly pretty ****ing miserly. Finances are a major source of anxiety for me due to having to spend like $450 - $500/month on healthcare (prescriptions, therapy, labs, doctor) and I only receive $1100/month. There is no extra money to put by every month from that - and my school schedule this semester has put a stop to how I previously earned money. I live in fear of my carefully, painfully scraped together savings being depleted before I graduate next December. That is what this is about. Not a literal inability to pay this bill.

Just makes me really anxious and it doesn't help my financial anxiety that I feel like I've had to spend tons of money lately due to moving.

But now with what you've said, I feel like maybe I can't afford therapy at all. Because there's honestly nowhere to take money from except there - and apparently, there's no way to predict what I might be charged. My financial anxiety says I don't dare go more than once every other week if that's what's going to happen. But going so infrequently will be worse than not going.

I did take a video of my current place when I moved in because I had to do a ton of cleaning and to document the condition because they didn't have me do a move in checklist. Honestly, I tend to think the property manager woman will feel favorably about the way I leave the place because it will be in better condition than when I moved in. But you never know. I just feel conflicted because I don't want to cause myself to suffer for another year and a half over something that might not even happen. And honestly, I don't have confidence that C will pick a therapist I have any interest in talking to next time.

I think it was in response to my being slow to move. But moving been on pre's to-do list for quite a while. There are so many old ladies on the couch right now, it looks like some of us forget what its like to be a struggling student. That is not in keeping with the spirit of the couch and i am sorry.

Eta - you contribute SO MUCH to the couch and to pc. Your posts are very erudite. I might have to google that myself!

Maybe my schedule will allow me to get a job next semester. I'll think of something... one of my professors, who also happens to be my advisor, did mention something about hiring students to help with research. Maybe that could be an option. But I'll need to ace the two classes I'm taking from her... hmm...

Look, I get it. I'm sorry if I offended you somehow; I was trying to offer some hard-earned life lessons. I was working poor for a long time before I went back to school and got my degree. I've lived in places where there were mushrooms growing out of the bathroom floor and the only heat was a woodstove which I couldn't get going to save my life or space heaters that I had to put about 3 feet from my head in order to stay warm in the winter. I've had to do my own car repairs (clutch, radiator, brakes, oil changes). I once had to drive a car with the heater on when it was 95 degrees so it wouldn't overheat. Fun times. They've left me with money anxieties to this day. I'm not suggesting you go without therapy. I'm simply pointing out that these things happen frequently when you're renting. When they happened to me, I was never prepared for the extra expenses either. If I could go back and speak to my younger self, I would tell myself to save something. If I recall, you're in the same major I had or something similar. Look into campus jobs. I had a job in our classroom technology (Blackboard at the time) department doing small coding jobs. Later I got offered a position as an undergraduate teaching assistant helping out with the lower level classes. These things were doable while studying because, as a student, the hours were limited. I could not have continued to work an outside job with my major because of the workload. I tried. It wasn't happening, but these on-campus jobs were perfect and tied in with my coursework.

My younger dog is not a huge chewer but he still wants a chicken covered rawhide when I give one to the chewier older dog. Younger dog eats off the chicken coating and then brings the half chewed slimy stick to me and drops it in my lap. This is our new disgusting morning ritual.

Because my father lives on the Texas/Mexico border, he buys his most expensive medications in advance in Mexico for those months that he knows he's going to fall into that donut hole.

I saw my Pdoc last night. I had to wait three hours to see him because I didn't have an appointment. He must have gotten really behind because a guy was there for a six o'clock appointment and didn't get seen until 8 PM. I did find out that his cash only fee after 12/31/19 will be $200.00. I still plan on interviewing PDOC's but I can afford that four times a year if I have to. He paid for the supplements he suggested for me himself that he gave me last night and he gave me three books to read. Gave them, as a gift. He said it was going to be really hard to leave some of his patients, like me, so he was happy to know that I would be willing to see him for a while longer. He talked to me about the importance of hope, which admittedly has been very hard lately with the SUI feelings. He didn't charge me for the appointment last night either. I'm happy to know that there is at least a backup plan because I'm not happy about the reviews I have been reading online on some of the other Pdocs in the area. I was talking to some of the other patients in the waiting room last night and getting some names of people that were a definitely do not see. My PDOC talked about my religious leanings and about things that bring him hope. It was almost like a therapy appointment.

When I did some retail therapy a couple of weeks ago, I special ordered these shoes from Vans. They have flamingos on them! I adore flamingos!

They're awesome, Kit.

Those are the cutest! Ive been looking for an article of clothing that is pink and coral but having no luck. I dont really want it near my old lady face but i love it on the field of black and white checks. And the pink binding is the perfect touch! Maybe i will look for socks.

Anyway, congratulations! And i love how the flamingos are just check-sized. Are the checks HUGE, or are the flamingoes tiny?

Ah that's true love right there.

I'm not sure if you've already heard these songs:.





I just wish you were able to see someone right now. Keep talking to us though. I'm always around even if you just want to talk about cats or chocolate.

You didn't do anything wrong but even if he was irritated, which he might not be- it's still okay for him to feel that emotion, just not act it out.

It's okay to not have productive days when you're so ill.

How are you feeling now?

That could happen to anyone.I only know what a pint is because we have teeny milk bottles you can buy.

He apologized on Monday for not letting me apologize to him. He said that he didn't want me to feel bad about it.

I know this whole comment is confusing. On the phone call Sunday he said my email minorly irritated him. I quickly made an excuse for me writing it then said "I'm sorry I irritated you". His reply was "you didn't irritate me", at which point I reminded him that he had just told me that it irritated him. He said something about people get irritated in relationships and I again apologized for irritating him. It was kind of amusing and disappointing at the same time.

And my email was probably mildly irritating. I was feeling stressed out when I composed and sent it. But anyway, we got all the apologies and irritations ironed out.

We just had a company meeting and I think I was hallucinating. I saw a man peering through the window at us but no one else reacted so I think it was a hallucination. This sucks.

Anyone ever felt super sensitive? A coworker started a question to me with "What makes you believe x,y.z?" It made me feel like what I believe is wrong even though it's right there on the check stub!! It's not a belief, it's fact.

Its my birthday today and my daughters have forgotten i think. I never used to worry about my birthday but since last year it seems like something i want to celebrate.

Happy Birthday BlessedCheeseMaker!!!!

Happy Birthday BCM!!!

Today is my 7 year work anniversary. Can't believe it's been that long already.

Congrats on the work anniversary Artie!!!

Today is three months that we have been with the new company. We were supposed to receive written reviews today but I don't think that is happening. Most of the people leave in 11 minutes. I leave in an hour and eleven minutes but I haven't heard of anyone talking about their review or anything so I don't think we are getting them. Even though the company handbook says we are supposed to.