Couch 208: The Practical Couch

chihirochild · Dec 01, 2019 at 11:01 AM

Hahahahaha wiped out something fierce. Taking a moment to gather my gumption (and what’s left of my pride).

ElectricManatee · Dec 01, 2019 at 11:37 AM

Yesterday we watched the episode of Mr. Rogers where he meets the Postmaster General and learns how stamps are made. Then the critters in the Neighborhood of Make Believe received copies of their annual report (wtf?). The baby wasn't very interested, but my wife and I were fascinated.

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 01, 2019 at 11:47 AM

Went back to the ER last night because I was having an allergic reaction. I think it was due to one of the antibiotics they gave me. My lips are still tingling and swollen.

And my abscess still hurts. I'm starting to worry because I don't want to be like my H always rushing to the ER. But I had good reasons for each visit. And it was the holiday, so I couldn't see my PCP. The doctor at the ER last night said I have to go to my clinic this week to check the wound and my allergic reaction.

L was actually able to make it to yesterday's session. It wasn't a good session. I wrote her that she didn't care. She said that hurt her. Now I feel so bad and guilty. I know she cares. Hell, she made it to our session just for me. I don't think she had anyone else. She's been so good to me. I don't know why I flipped out on her. I cried the whole session and apologized profusely. I am truly sorry. I feel like I need to be punished in some way.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 01, 2019 at 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Went back to the ER last night because I was having an allergic reaction. I think it was due to one of the antibiotics they gave me. My lips are still tingling and swollen.

And my abscess still hurts. I'm starting to worry because I don't want to be like my H always rushing to the ER. But I had good reasons for each visit. And it was the holiday, so I couldn't see my PCP. The doctor at the ER last night said I have to go to my clinic this week to check the wound and my allergic reaction.

L was actually able to make it to yesterday's session. It wasn't a good session. I wrote her that she didn't care. She said that hurt her. Now I feel so bad and guilty. I know she cares. Hell, she made it to our session just for me. I don't think she had anyone else. She's been so good to me. I don't know why I flipped out on her. I cried the whole session and apologized profusely. I am truly sorry. I feel like I need to be punished in some way.

Hugs...If your lips are still tingling and swollen, that's concerning. If it continues or gets worse, you should consider going to the ER again, as there could be a risk of anaphylaxis. And this is definitely different from your H...plus, like you said, your PCP wasn't available.

Salmon77 · Dec 01, 2019 at 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

I had the absolute worst panic/anxiety/freak out...whatever you want to call it last night. Crying, shaking, curled up in a ball, hyperventilating. I want to call my T today about it but I see him in the morning tomorrow and feel like it can wait.

This sounds awful. It sounds like you've been under a lot of pressure lately. Do you have ways of coping with stress? Do breathing exercises or that sort of thing help at all?

susannahsays · Dec 01, 2019 at 02:24 PM

I found Mr. Rogers creepy when I was a kid. His soft voice, niceness, and the fact that he was a man just made me uncomfortable.

I liked Sesame Street, Arthur, and Wishbone. I used to get mad at Sesame Street, though, because I didn't like how they would keep switching between skits. It was like as soon as I got into something, they'd move on.

I think I watched Lambchop when I was really young but I don't really remember.

atisketatasket · Dec 01, 2019 at 02:29 PM

After he died several people told me my father reminded them of Mr. Rogers. I think it was mostly the way he parted his hair, it was the same color, and he wore cardigans.

ETA: I was just about to get up from the couch and go be “productive“ when new cat flopped down on my feet. Bless her little heart.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 01, 2019 at 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

I found Mr. Rogers creepy when I was a kid. His soft voice, niceness, and the fact that he was a man just made me uncomfortable.

I liked Sesame Street, Arthur, and Wishbone. I used to get mad at Sesame Street, though, because I didn't like how they would keep switching between skits. It was like as soon as I got into something, they'd move on.

I think I watched Lambchop when I was really young but I don't really remember.

They seem to have changed Sesame Street so it doesn't do that anymore (I recall that as a kid, too). Each segment seems to be self-contained now.

Jersey 4 · Dec 01, 2019 at 02:38 PM

I watched Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, Punky Brewster, Small Wonder and a few others.

Right now I’m watching Mary Poppins. Guess I’m just nurturing myself this weekend.

unaluna · Dec 01, 2019 at 02:47 PM

Pinky Lee, Howdy Doody, Soupy Sales, Milky the Clown (our local Bozo).

SheHulk07 · Dec 01, 2019 at 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salmon77

This sounds awful. It sounds like you've been under a lot of pressure lately. Do you have ways of coping with stress? Do breathing exercises or that sort of thing help at all?

I don't think anything was going to help me bring myself out of that last night. Actually think it was morning around when the sun starts coming up.

Possible trigger:

It was because of my husband touching me while I was sleeping and woke up and freaked out.

I basically cried myself back to sleep but thankfully that's the only thing I did.

NP_Complete · Dec 01, 2019 at 04:56 PM

I'm supposed to meet with my therapist tomorrow unless he cancels on me. I wonder if he feels that his email to me after last week's cancellation was too harsh? I'm not feeling super excited to go in there and I don't know what the path forward is going to look like because I'm sure as hell not going to share any more of my feelings about anything relationship related at this point. I know there are different camps, but from working with him, I know I need to feel attached in order to feel safe opening up.

chihirochild · Dec 01, 2019 at 05:49 PM

I survived skiing! My thighs are sore but I feel good otherwise--nothing broken, despite a massive wipeout halfway down an intermediate hill.

In other news, my T and I have been considering increasing session frequency from once a week to twice a week. But in one of those weird paradoxes of which my therapist is incredibly fond, T says that I have to be stable for that to happen because he doesn't want my illness to be the mediator of our relationship, doesn't want more sickness to mean more attention, etc. So now there's a part of me that's kind of afraid to tell him if I'm not doing well, because I would like to have two sessions a week.

Therapy is so so weird. (Or, perhaps more accurately, my therapist is so so weird.)

SheHulk07 · Dec 01, 2019 at 06:56 PM

I broke down and called my T and left a message for him to call me back if he has time tonight.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 01, 2019 at 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

I survived skiing! My thighs are sore but I feel good otherwise--nothing broken, despite a massive wipeout halfway down an intermediate hill.

In other news, my T and I have been considering increasing session frequency from once a week to twice a week. But in one of those weird paradoxes of which my therapist is incredibly fond, T says that I have to be stable for that to happen because he doesn't want my illness to be the mediator of our relationship, doesn't want more sickness to mean more attention, etc. So now there's a part of me that's kind of afraid to tell him if I'm not doing well, because I would like to have two sessions a week.

Therapy is so so weird. (Or, perhaps more accurately, my therapist is so so weird.)

That seems really confusing... I go twice a week, and I feel sort of the opposite, where I worry if my T thinks I'm doing well, he'll say I should decrease sessions. Though he's learned from any time he's just hinted at that to stay far away from it--once I'd said at the start of a session that I wasn't sure what to talk about, and he'd said that can be a sign it's time to reduce sessions, and I got pretty upset. And said it was more that I wasn't sure *which* thing to talk about, not that I had nothing. He's said since then (and before that) how it's up to me when to reduce sessions. That he wonders if regular therapy is what does enable me to cope with life (if I seem to be doing better).

I'd discuss your concerns with your T. That you want to try twice a week but then worry you'd be reluctant to tell him if you were struggling more, for fear he'd say you had to stop that. I've found twice a week helpful, incidentally--can make more progress that way, and I worry less about a wasted session.

atisketatasket · Dec 01, 2019 at 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chihirochild

In other news, my T and I have been considering increasing session frequency from once a week to twice a week. But in one of those weird paradoxes of which my therapist is incredibly fond, T says that I have to be stable for that to happen because he doesn't want my illness to be the mediator of our relationship, doesn't want more sickness to mean more attention, etc. So now there's a part of me that's kind of afraid to tell him if I'm not doing well, because I would like to have two sessions a week.

Therapy is so so weird. (Or, perhaps more accurately, my therapist is so so weird.)

So your therapist is the kind of person who would give everyone a cupcake regardless of their diet, but if someone were doing really well on their diet, they would get two?

Props on going skiing and doing something good for yourself!

chihirochild · Dec 01, 2019 at 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

So your therapist is the kind of person who would give everyone a cupcake regardless of their diet, but if someone were doing really well on their diet, they would get two?

I'll chuck that one his way and see what he does with it...

atisketatasket · Dec 01, 2019 at 07:34 PM

Now I want cupcakes.

*gets up to see if she has cupcake ingredients*

88Butterfly88 · Dec 01, 2019 at 07:58 PM

Cupcakes for everyone!
Couch 208: The Practical Couch

susannahsays · Dec 01, 2019 at 07:59 PM

It seems like he wants to make sure he's not incentivizing being sick or in crisis or staying sick or in crisis. However, he's taking it to the next level in a way that makes no sense. I understand that he has concerns related to the diagnosis you don't like to name. However, he's just ended up incentivizing being dishonest that you feel bad. Honestly, I think when therapists control session frequency, it always creates an incentive for a client to be dishonest.

In any case, he must not think you actually feel bad and that your expressions of feeling bad are "acting out." This is a thing that people believe about people with a certain diagnosis, and it can be true sometimes. He might conceptualize you feeling bad as purely longing for connection with him. Following this line of thought, he is offering you a reward for not acting out. It would make sense if your problems could be solved purely by modifying your behavior.

I'm not a fan of the way your therapist approaches anything.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Couch 208: The Practical Couch

My Support Forums

chihirochild Magnate Member Since Feb 2017 Location: North America Posts: 2,360 7 4,865 hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 11:01 AM #761 Hahahahaha wiped out something fierce. Taking a moment to gather my gumption (and what’s left of my pride).

ElectricManatee Magnate Member Since May 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 2,515 6 4,704 hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 11:37 AM #762 Yesterday we watched the episode of Mr. Rogers where he meets the Postmaster General and learns how stamps are made. Then the critters in the Neighborhood of Make Believe received copies of their annual report (wtf?). The baby wasn't very interested, but my wife and I were fascinated.

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,170 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 02:29 PM #767 After he died several people told me my father reminded them of Mr. Rogers. I think it was mostly the way he parted his hair, it was the same color, and he wore cardigans. ETA: I was just about to get up from the couch and go be “productive“ when new cat flopped down on my feet. Bless her little heart.

Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 02:38 PM #769 I watched Mr. Rogers, Sesame Street, Punky Brewster, Small Wonder and a few others. Right now I’m watching Mary Poppins. Guess I’m just nurturing myself this weekend.

unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,034 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.8k hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 02:47 PM #770 Pinky Lee, Howdy Doody, Soupy Sales, Milky the Clown (our local Bozo).

SheHulk07 Magnate Member Since Oct 2013 Location: CO Posts: 2,305 10 871 hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 06:56 PM #774 I broke down and called my T and left a message for him to call me back if he has time tonight.

atisketatasket Child of a lesser god Member Since Jun 2015 Location: Tartarus Posts: 19,170 (SuperPoster!) 8 12.4k hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 07:34 PM #778 Now I want cupcakes. gets up to see if she has cupcake ingredients

88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,225 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Dec 01, 2019 at 07:58 PM #779 Cupcakes for everyone!