Couch 208: The Practical Couch

Can i come over for dinner please?



For dinner I toasted bread then added cheddar cheese and walkers (lays) potato chips. It actually works.

Kind of like nachos...can imagine it would be pretty good. I don't particularly like cheese. I had a steak slice pastry, and some baked beans.

I'm bored and my date doesn't start 'till 8. :/

Excuse me, Masterchef coming through ... I had veggie sausages (pre-packaged) with bubble and squeak and mint sauce (from a jar). Parp, parp, next stop Michelin!

And no, before you all start asking, no one can come over for their dinner (or tea as us Northerners say).

Note to self: Next time you have a moment when you're wondering how some exes are doing and look them up, don't actually friend them if you find them on Facebook. Because then you end up in a messenger chat and feeling kind of awkward. Especially because this guy was more of a "friend with benefits" sort of thing. (I did not have any ulterior motives in contacting him, just idle curiosity.) Turns out we have kids the same age, so that's kinda neat.

Hm, actually, I guess I'm just trying to reconnect with my past more in general. Looking through old photos at Thanksgiving and taking some with me. I think therapy is making me reflect more on my past and who I was then (at various points in my life) vs. who I am now and maybe vs. who I want to become.

I have a bunch of couch pages to catch up on. I keep losing my spot.

I got done work early today. I only ended up working 4 hours. I came home and cleaned up a little bit then ran an errand to get some vape stuff. On the way back from the store I saw a 4 car pile up on the highway right near a mall exit. The Black Friday deals are not worth that. All the cars involved were in pretty bad shape.

We are putting our tree up tomorrow. (It’s the only thing we do for Christmas. I’m not much of a decorator and it doesn’t make sense since no kids are here)

Right now I’m watching Catch Me If You Can. Great movie. Frosty comes on tonight at 8. I may revisit my younger days and watch it because I remember being happy when that and Rudolph came on.

L is stuck in the mountains and might miss my session tomorrow. Maybe it's for the best because it hurts to sit.

Ugh, I'm sorry both that she may have to miss your session and that it hurts to sit. Could you do a phone call maybe?

Jersey, yikes, that's scary about the accident. I haven't even left the house today. I did my Black Friday shopping online, from my couch. I've never been one to go to the stores on Black Friday--the madness doesn't seem worth it! I ordered some stuff from Kohl's, and had the option of picking it up same day in store, and I was like, "Nope!"

It’s all going to be mayhem until the new year. Glad I got my shopping done early.

Our Christmas tree

I missed the first hour of the dog show so lucky for me they are rerunning it tonight. Its fun knowing the winners!

Hello, couch. I have been thinking about my mental health a lot today, and I realized that this is a resource I still have. I figured I’d update. I was in-patient again for a week at the beginning of November. It was a not terrible experience this time: I was in a different hospital that had its stuff together.

Anyway, my insurance company seems to be frustrated at footing the bill again for IP, so they’ve hooked me up with a local company which does intensive in home therapy. So between that and regular T, I’m currently doing therapy for 10 hours a week. It feels a bit like overkill but my house is cleaner than it has been in a while and I’m not ideating as much as I was before IP this time.

Job still sucks, marriage sucks too, but I’m focusing on me right now, and it feels kind of nice. Overindulgent perhaps, but nice.

Currently planning on quitting my teaching career, becoming a QMHP and going back to school for my MSW. Not tomorrow or anything; I’ve got to get some things lined up first.

I hope you’re all doing well, especially as the holidays can be a hard time for so many of us.

Wow, Variable, all sounds like it is heading in the right direction!

Do you also read the last page of mystery novels before you finish them?

I am trying to talk myself out of overdoing the exercise by rowing while watching Black Spot. Or at least talk myself into lowering the resistance on the rowing machine from max to less than max.

It's confirmed. She's missing our session tomorrow And I just realized that I actually go on college campus on Monday for disabled student services. I haven't been on campus in 15+ years. And it looks like my H starts a part time job on Monday, so he can't take me. No L, no H... I'm besides myself.

L offered to call me tomorrow. I didn't really respond. I don't know how to respond. I'm so hurt! I know this was beyond her control, but it hurts. I haven't emailed her all week, trying to be good and patient and wait for my session tomorrow. Now that I've been dealing with all of this myself, she's not going to be there. I just told her to do whatever she wants.

I NEVER do! I just happened to miss the first hour of the dog show. Which of course usually would have been enough to make me skip the 2nd hour Dont tell me im not entitled to the OCD label!

Re not maxing out on exercise - yeah my knees have been doing much better since i quit pushing it.

What a strange day. The anniversary of possibly the best thing I have ever done under my own steam, that became tainted by the experience I didn't realise I was living through.

I'm thinking about going skiing tomorrow but I don't really want to go by myself. Also the closest mountain (about an hour away) is a place that I have memories of going with my ex boyfriend, and I'm a little worried that if I go there by myself I'll miss him. (The breakup was my idea and was several months ago, but every once in a while I do miss being with him.)

Still not divorced.

I feel sad and overhwelmed today. I think I am mostly tired. First major holiday for the kids (and their cousins, and my brother-in-law) without the ex there. He was invited and chose not to come. He did come for pie later, which was nice. My job is to always smooth these things over, to try to find the spaces when we all need to keep moving as usual, and when we need to replace a tradition, and when I just plain need to say, Man, this part is hard but it's going to be okay. In general, I guess, not just around the holiday. I'm pretty exhausted.

I'm glad I see my t this week. I think I need someone to tell me this part is hard but it's going to be okay. Crap. I made myself cry just typing that.

Hugs, WFS...

WFS

I stopped for a rest 300m from the end of my planned swim today. And I thought “What would unaluna do?” (WWUD?). So I got out of the pool.

From now on WWUD? will guide my life decisions.

ETA: WFS—I promise when the divorce is over there will be a glorious moment when you realize the boulder that was crushing your chest isn’t there anymore.

(And in the meantime just ask yourself WWUD?)