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#1
Jan 14, 2008, 02:27 PM
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I think I do this a lot. I meet people then I kinda of morth them into what I think they are, accept what I'm really doing is putting part of me into them and then when they don't act how I think they should because of what I've created them to be, I feel lost, alone, I dont know myself. It appears I need to experience myself from without rather then within, is this where the abandonment pain comes from now? My own inner abandoment? whats the solution? how does one stop putting yourseif into another person/object??? why can't I have the same relationship with myself, by myself?
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#2
Jan 14, 2008, 02:52 PM
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Oh the depressive is me too a T, excuse the pun there..
http://changingminds.org/disciplines...depressive.htm
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#3
Jan 14, 2008, 03:17 PM
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You're supposed to put yourself into another; that's why when someone dies or goes away, etc. you are sad and grieve, you grieve for that piece of you you invested (psychological term I think) in the other. You have to get your investment "back". The other person is a mirror for you and you behave according to what you see and all that.
However, if you don't know yourself, what you like, dislike, how to center yourself, calm yourself, be "alone" with yourself, etc. then you would have a hard time knowing what it was you were seeing in the mirror of the other person? So, when they show something you don't "recognize"/want in yourself, you're going to reject them? It's only knowing what you're capable of and "living" with all the aspects of yourself a bit that you realize that whatever you see is "you" and okay. It's like when you look in a funhouse mirror. They're usually not scary (or even particularly interesting) to adults because adults know what they look like but children haven't seen or imagined themselves in different ways before so they're fascinating to a kid?
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#4
Jan 14, 2008, 05:37 PM
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Mouse,
I do the same thing. It's like I have a thought as to who the other person is, and when he acts out of my expectations, I'm shocked. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't.  I'll be glad when I stop doing it, though, lol.! Take care.
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