Couch 225: 2+2=5, Sheeple!

Got a long walk in this morning by going to an ATM to get Info's cash. Planning to pick up a receipt book on the way there.

Feel like a ****** person for doing this, but I've decided to embrace that.

Or a practical reasonable person who's taking the pressure off both of you to deal with lost checks.

Kit, I am inspired by your willingness to reach out for support when you need it. I am glad you're taking care of you.

Ugh. I couldn't sleep last night. This morning I am sure that no one likes me, I am stupid and I am going to be alone forever. So.

I haven't felt like this for a really long time. I'd reach out to my t to see if she could fit me in sooner but...see above. Plus a good dose of "I should be able to handle this on my own by now."

I think if she said a perfectly reasonable "my schedule is full and I don't have any openings" it would just make it worse, so best leave it.

I can hear our next conversation now...
Me: I thought about calling you.
T: It's okay to ask for help.
Me: Nope. No, really not.
(Obviously we've been here before.)

On the bright okay-to-ask-for-help side, I hired someone to deep clean my house because work-grad school-teens-life means that I actually need help. And just gritting my teeth and toughing it out doesn't get my house cleaner. So, yay me. They're coming tomorrow.

HUGS @WarmFuzzySocks

Hugs, WFS. I'm sorry you're struggling. I think it's OK to reach out to your T. But it's also good you realized that if she said she didn't have any openings, it would make it worse.

Dr. T used to generally be available for earlier/extra sessions (like with <24 hours notice), and when I asked for one about a month ago (on my birthday, no less), he said he didn't have anything available, and it sort of crushed me. He ended up adding an extra slot for me in the end, which I really appreciated (but felt guilty for making his workday longer). But then another time recently I asked for an earlier appointment, and he didn't have one. I felt at that time I couldn't push, because I'd just gotten one recently. So I worked through it and was OK. But now I feel very reluctant to ask for an earlier or extra session again, as the rejection was painful when I'm used to his having openings (he generally keeps a fairly relaxed/open schedule, but he's recently taken on a heavier caseload due to need/demand from the pandemic).

I'm glad you asked for help in the deep cleaning area though. I'd like to ask for that, but fear a housecleaner would take one look at the house and run in horror...

Hugs, Kit. I'm sorry you're still struggling with those thoughts. I'm glad you reached out and hope you'll hear back from her soon.

I was worried about that too. It reminds me of a story my mom tells: She was leaving after getting a pedicure and this older man was walking back and forth in front of the shop, so she asked if he needed help. His wife had dropped him off because he was not able to care for his feet and he was embarrassed to go in because they were so bad. So my mom walked him in and the staff were so reassuring and gentle. They told him he is exactly who they love to serve, people who genuinely need their help and care. She tells me that story sometimes when we talk about it being hard to ask for help, and she still tears up remembering it.


The woman who came was so so kind and professional. She kept saying "It's not that bad, you just think it is" and "I've seen worse" and assuring me that helping people who need to get back on top of things is exactly why she does the job she does.

Hugs, WFS.

Good on you for hiring someone to deep clean. We did that one time while I was recovering from surgery in 2019. It was so worth it and I am actually thinking about doing it again, but hadn't gotten around to scheduling it yet. Thanks for reminding me to do so!

Of course before I get deep-cleaner people in here, I need to get rid of a bunch of paper and other clutter so they actually have surfaces to clean.

Dinner last night was a success, the fish, rice and corn. I didn't have broccoli in the freezer so ended up heating up a bag of frozen corn. I need to go grocery shopping.

I'm pretty sure you would also make the same choice of paying with whatever method worked best for you if it was anyone else.

Thank you for all the replies.

Woop well done!

Do you guys also keep a buffer of extra food and water, you'd eat anyway in your home? It's easy to start just by buying an extra bag when you buy your normal one. I've always developed a habit of shopping like my mother without realizing it. She once bought washing powder that was on sale that was enough to literally lasted years.

Sounds so good. I'm starving. Lunch in about an hour. I had spaghetti with whole grain noodles last night, with salad and fat free Italian dressing.


For lunch I'm having chicken with rice, broccoli, and cheese. And an orange. Starving!

Just posting an update. I came through surgery just fine. I'm in pretty bad pain, but they're sending me home with some good stuff so I should be okay in 3 or 4 days. Thank you for all the encouragement and well wishes!

HUGS @MobiusPsyche glad to hear your surgery went well!

Glad to hear it went well, Mobius!

H was just watching Penelope outside, he said she's getting more stealthy.... she was crouching on the ground among low tree branches watching a dove eating bird seed about 4 feet from her. She didn't pounce or anything, but we think she's working up to it. I don't want her killing my bird friends... I'm gonna have to start discouraging this behavior.

One of our old-man cats, the one that loves being outside, he just lays there on his chair watching the birds. He gave up a long time ago trying to catch them and now they don't even pay him any attention at all.

Thanks for the update! Glad you came through surgery OK and hope you're feeling better with less pain soon.

Esther used to be quite the birder in her heyday. All the birds in the neighborhood learned to stay away from our yard, though now that Esther is a little old lady some have come back. Amelia has never caught a bird, to my knowledge, nor do I know if she is even interested in them. But she has hunted lizards. Yuck. I hate when she brings them inside! The last thing she caught was a moth and she brought that inside too. My dad got it from her and was able to set it free in the front yard before she killed it.


I had a cat growing up that was a stray that adopted us. She hunted roadrunners. She caught them too. It just took her a long time. But then she'd feast! And my sister's cat killed snakes and laid them out longways on the sidewalk. Creepy. But I was always glad there was one less snake that might bite me. We lived in the wilderness growing up and there were turtles and snakes and lizards and scorpions and all kinds of critters.

I believe in letting cats be cats. Instinct is a powerful thing.

You are helping the economy and getting a clean house - win win

I hope that it is Taco Tuesday tonight at my house.