Couch 225: 2+2=5, Sheeple!

I may have been optimistic when I said Casino Royale.
After consideration, it may be more like CATS

With or without bellybuttons and other orifices of the netherlands?

I do have a full driving licence, but haven't driven a car in 6 years. I was always a nervous driver and it was always short trips mainly taking my grandmother to the shops or picking my mum up from work.

When I get to New York we won't even need a car. They seem to have a good public transport system kinda like London.

Thank you I can feel the love.



We would also need to cast Chris Pine.

Hugs to any who want one.

Any of you feel like things you already resolved actually aren't really resolved?

I stopped getting flashbacks after some inside communication with the alter responsible (they didn't know how to ask for help in different ways) but yeah, stuff I thought was long ago resolved/processed is bubbling up.

T thinks this alter holds stuff I couldn't tolerate in my adolescence... and so while I have resolved xyz, this alter hasn't. Obviously alters or not, I think healing might be cyclical, and we circle back to stuff to process in layers?

I'm just really uncomfortable because the stuff that's coming up was really painful to work through the first time and now it's like a second round of pain that I have to endure. Ouch tbh.

Also, I was put on a new anti-psychotic -- Rexulti (brexpiprazole) -- but it gave me ridiculous dizziness and blurred vision. Called the hospital pharmacy, they said discontinue and to bring my psychiatrist appointment forward

There is something you know though, you've done it once before and that shows how resilient you are already. You can and you will get through this too. I don't know much about DID, but maybe also working on this alter feeling safe and grounded first would help before unpicking more trauma. If you think you need to go though it at a slower pace, tell your T that. I think it's also helpful to have much lighter sessions as well, even if you don't talk it's all good. There was another poster whose T would read books because that's what they needed.

No. Nothing is like Cats. It is sui malorum generis, of its own kind of evil.

I love how smartz you are @@.

You can be our main script writer.

I didn't mind the movie - it was weird and pointless, but I wasn't any more put out by it than I am by most movies since I find almost all of them pointless and a giant waste of time. The weirdness of it was not the sort to which I object. I was also grading papers when I watched it - so that also might have factored in.

Nah, that there was just a creative idea on my part. It sounded funnier than what I originally started to type (cuz she'd have to un-fold each bill in order to use it), which was that I'd thought about paying L with a stack of $1 bills one time during year 1, as in, counting each one slowly.... when I was not too happy with her.


And, I'm not so sure that being an adult is easier than origami, at least, some days.....!

Adult is easier to me than origami - I don't even like it when napkins are folded weird because I figure out how undo them and sometimes I get knots. I love being an adult. I love being an old adult even more. Seriously.

Eh, I'm just struggling with accepting some things about my adult self right now. I do NOT want to be a kid again. No way.

I was also thinking that I would rather do origami this afternoon than make the phone calls I have to make at work once my lunch break is over. Two very angry people. And I can't give them what they are demanding in sentences replete with curse words, so the calls are going to be not fun.

Hugs, Artie.

Managed to come up with a fun tongue twister in session today. Dr. T was trying to pull a word, and he was like, "Exacerbated? Is that right?" Me: "Exasperated?" Dr. T: "Yes, exasperated!" Then a minute later he was saying something about a hypothetical situation (not involving me) potentially leading to exasperation, and I said, "So it would have exacerbated your exasperation?" Dr. T: "Now say that 10 times fast." Me: "I'll pass, thanks."

I remember being annoyed at Rob once and I paid him in lots of small amounts like £0.50, £0.27. It was bank transfer so less satisfying.

I hope the calls go by quickly- it sounds super hard to deal with.

Got voicemails on both of them. Now I gotta try them both again tomorrow, which I guess can be a good thing, now I have time to plan my strategy.

Oh my goodness, I just realized I failed to objectify Info yesterday by giving a fashion report.

Okay, so black high-neck tank top, with an orange crocheted cape over it, so no cleavage. Gray leggings with darker gray leopard spots on them.

Also she was in the second office in her suite. The previous times she's been in the small one, which is L-shaped and requires her to sit between me and the door. This one was huge, they use it for groups, but I liked it less because it has a glass door to the outside parking lot, so anyone could look in. (She insisted they couldn't. For a moment I thought I should explain how windows worked, but instead I asked her to pull the shades--someone could still see through the door, though.)

I really let work get to me way too much today. When will I ever learn that work is just work and stop stressing myself out over it? So what if a couple assholes yell at me for something I have zero control over. I don't know them in person, they don't know me, I will probably never have to speak with them again, so who gives a crap?


Perhaps L is right about me "wanting a Hallmark movie", wishing that people could just be kind to one another.

Or I guess I can keep wishing that, and learn to accept that it's never gonna happen, and just learn to live with the discomfort that causes.

ok so yeah. i guess that's the part of being an adult i don't like. i'm just a big fat baby who doesn't want to take responsibility for how this crappy world makes me feel. damn. And other words that would appear here as *******.

Moving right along.....

Ive been watching Untold Stories from the ER on TLC, and boy do the drs and nurses have some skills in dealing with people. Usually family members of patients who want to remove the patient (who is clinging to life) and the med personnel have to change their minds while the parent is screaming, "what did you do? He was fine when he came in! All we wanted was a painkiller!" And the kid has flesh eating disease They are always happy endings so no worries there, but i find the disarming techniques admirable and educational. Also i could totally put in a chest tube now.

Maybe I should watch that show, I might pick up some tips!

Yeah its definitely not my strong suit. I prolly watch it more for the drama than for the diseases. But i can diagnose a collapsed lung now.