Couch 237: Social Rules

If you're projecting, Comrade, then you're in good company! I feel all kinds of frustrated with LT's therapist and want to give him a good firm shaking too knock some sense into him. (I would say a good talking-to, except I'm not sure that would be a effective.)

LT, what you're getting from therapy with him is a band-aid at best. Plus, the relationship stuff that you could be working on, that is for some therapists the meat of therapy, is being ignored. You're even being put off when you bring it up. I think that, with a skilled therapist who works with and through the relationship stuff, you could make so much more progress.

I went to therapy for years and only focused on managing my symptoms and dealing with crises as they came up. It wasn't until I truly opened up and started this type of relational therapy that I made real progress in improving my depression. It took about 2 years, but after that my depression was so much better that I would say it was almost gone. I had suffered from severe depression for more than 20 years at that point (I held my demanding job, barely, but had no personal life).

You should make the decision that is right for you. Don't do anything based on some randos on the Interwebz. I'm just sharing my story because it might be relevant.

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I'd love to see a pic when they're done, I never could get the hang of knitting and admire the heck outta those who can do it!

eta: how DO you keep the yarn on the needles without hooks?

If you ever want to learn, Very Pink Knits on YouTube is the place to go.

I'm glad your sister is there to help, ATAT.

I never went through my mother's house. She lived in Texas and I had already been away for almost six weeks at that point, maybe longer? I was way past overwhelmed and my imagination could not grasp anything I might find that would make the whole enterprise worthwhile.

I did look for old photos but couldn't find any. I took her wedding ring set from the jewelry box, gave all the food in the house to her friend, and the realtor arranged for a company to come in and sell or donate the rest. Oh, I did ship a lamp to her boyfriend's sister. I shipped home 3 afghans my great aunts had made for the family in the 1970s and a few small things. It's been 3.5 years and I can't say I regret my decision.

Yes, several people have told me to hire someone. But neither my sister nor I want to--it feels to us like a necessary part of the grieving process. I helped my mother go through my grandmother's and grandfather's things after they died, but missed helping her with my father (my sister did, though), and that last still feels like unfinished business.


But yes, it is overwhelming, on top of the suddenness and the rarity of her fatal condition.


There have been funny moments--such as when I opened a box and a dozen amplified telephone handsets fell out. Or when we were dragging stuff out of the attic and kept spotting more further back (the attic has no floor, you scuttle from rafter to rafter and hope you don't fall).

My son came over for a little bit this afternoon, I was able to visit with him while still working. He had some news, he's looking at taking a job at a shop up in Oregon and moving, they are flying him up there for an interview and to meet the staff in early June!! Waaahhhh I don't want my baby to move away. I managed to not tear up while he was here, but I got a little misty-eyed talking with H about it after he left. My son's super stoked about it cuz he doesn't really care for the hot summers here. I'm sad that he's (probably) moving away and I'll see him even less than I do now! But trying to temper that sadness by reminding myself if he has the confidence to pursue something like this at 23 then we must have done something right in raising him... but dang I miss him already and he hasn't even had the interview yet. Slow down the world, I can't keep up anymore...

The weather today has been wacky. Sun-rain-sun-rain-sun and rain... I was out enjoying the sun, planting tomato starts and harvesting lettuce, then it started to rain. Next thing you know dancer son was out there- he'd looked out the window and seen me getting rained on so he brought out his umbrella to keep me from getting wet. I guess my spawn are pretty decent folk.

Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Okay! I put clothes to soak in bathroom sink to wear to my tuesday dr appt. Broke up boxes, found my new mike extension cord (which i thought i had put away and forgot where, but nope i never even opened it). Cleared off my foyer chair. Found some soda pop, put one in the little fridge.

Dont know where i found the go to get going, but im so glad i did.

I found out today that a Zentangle tile I made in March as a tribute to Steve made it into the art exhibition stemming from the workshop.

I submitted an artist's statement in two paragraphs shortly after the workshop, but when the deadline was shifted I ended up rewriting it to add more about my relationship with Steve.

I think this is the definition of bittersweet.

I put in an application today to adopt a 2 month old kitten from my local animal shelter. They are closed today so tomorrow is the earliest I will hear anything. I thought maybe it was too soon since my other cat passed away (Friday) but my remaining cat is lonely and I think it will also help my grieving process.

I'm hoping, if approved, and I have no reason to think I won't be, that I will be able to bring him home next Monday since I am dog-sitting for a few days and don't want to bring a kitten home in the middle of that......but I didn't want to hold off putting in the application since there's a specific kitty I want.

Also, I got a new job in the middle of going through my cat passing and they called today. I start Orientation with them this week!

For all the time I've spent thinking Dr. T hails from planet 4:33, I would never have pegged him as a Taylor Swift fan.

Thanks for the laugh, LT - it's been quite an evening here.

Congrats on the new job, Polibeth, and I hope you get approved for the kitten you want!