Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

I started another of those star afghans that I enjoy making so much, crochet is my happy place. I haven't picked the next color yet but will after work today. Maybe peach? Oops, breaks over gotta get back to work.

Damnit!!! Why does NYT switch their sudoku over so early. It's 4pm on the west coast for god's sake! If I do it now, I won't have one to do tomorrow. I was saving today's for today because yesterday's was already today's by the time I checked it yesterday.

I am not having a good day and I wanted to do the damned puzzle. Being in the hospital has triggered a really awful bout of loneliness and an increased sense of futility.

Hugs, NP. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely and futile. Write here more if you think it might help.

If you're a games subscriber, I know at least with the crosswords, you can do them from the archives, so maybe you can still do today's? Not sure how it works for Sodoku.

With the crosswords, the next day's appear at 6 pm Eastern Saturday night and Sunday night, and the rest of the day's are at 10 Eastern, I think? I'm guessing all the games might follow the same pattern then.

The Spelling Bee rolls over to the current day sometime between 2 and 6 am ET on that day. (I check whennI have insomnia.)

Sigh, occupational therapist wants me to consider something like residential care It's not for trauma, and there isn't therapy though I'll be able to leave to see my T. It's not inpatient, but it isn't independent living either.

I refused, she kept at it, so I kept refusing. I do not at all understand why she thinks I'm in bad shape since I've survived way worse, and I'm fairly sure my general fatigue is due to iron deficiency and dealing with a pest infestation caused by some of my flatmates.

Even with maximum government assistance, I cannot afford it at ALL, and it would mean breaking my current lease. And I'll have to share a dorm with 6 others whereas I've my bedroom in my current place.

She's sweet, thinks landlords will understand mental health and let me break my lease without the money penalty.

I swear in some ways, I feel I'm more street smart than many of the people I interact with for my medical care and other aid applications.

People here live with parents until they marry, or save enough to buy a home in their late 30s and 40s, and it shows wherever I go. I'm been preparing for houselessness since I was a young kid lol.

For what was my worst fear, it wasn't too bad. Never had to rough sleep yet but I know exactly what I gotta do if I end up in such a situation, especially as I'm now an adult with way more capability than kid me.

I know she cares, it's just that I can't afford it and there's no guarantee I'd actually GAIN.

Interesting dream this morning that I wish I'd been able to let play out (maybe tonight?) I'm back in therapy with a male t this time, he's balding and wearing a knit vest that's all I remember, we're talking about figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life and he has me draw a circle in my notebook. After I do so, my alarm went off and brought me back into my bedroom.

I am so curious what was going to be the next step after drawing the circle!

hugs and head nods all around.

Glad you are back home, NP. HUG

T texted me this morning saying she had wanted to text me or call me over the weekend but she was too busy. What am I supposed to do with that information? Baffled.

Hi Kit,

Sorry it caught you off guard. Could you send something like this?

'Hi T, thanks for checking in. I am [insert feeling here]. Appreciate you thinking of me, see you [next session], Kit.'

Having just received a 'Let's discuss tomorrow' from R in response to a follow up text I'd sent after an email went unseen...

I appreciate that your T is looking out for you.

HUGS

Thanks, Lost. That is a good idea.

Lost, why does R never seem to see your emails? That's so odd to me.

Chalk it up to: she old and crazy but wanted you to know she was thinking about you.

Lol! Thanks!

Yes, that is kind of odd. She could have just said, "I was thinking about you this weekend, Kit, and hoping you were doing OK." I'd be touched by that. But, like you said, a bit unsure what to do with it how she phrased it!

Thanks, EM.

She's said before that she doesn't have notifications switched on for emails on her phone, which I can understand.

I sent this one during her weekend (she doesn't work Mondays or Fridays) but considering the content, I could've done with her throwing me a bone.

Trigger for discussion of SUI/grief/death



We're going to talk about it tomorrow, but I'm feeling very apprehensive, despite there being a good outcome. Following a complaint I made, and escalation with help from members of one of my grief support groups, Amazon are going to remove the book within two weeks.

Wow, that's a lot to deal with, Lost. I hope R is able to be helpful in the ways that you need tomorrow (well, probably today, there...).

Thanks, EM. I appreciate your kindness.

Amazon is just going to remove it from the recommendation list - not the whole site right? I mean it would be crazy for them to remove it altogether. I think everyone should get to choose for themselves

Hugs, Lost.... That sounds really painful. I hope that T will be helpful. Also, could she maybe agree to check her email daily? Or, if she's open to texts, could you text her when you send an email?

I am wearing a sweat shirt and long pants so my hairy dog (he has a thick heavy coat) is happy with the a/c. I am Mr. Carson to the pets.

Mr. Carson is my favorite!

He was better than Spratt

H's followup with the cardiologist today went well, so today was a good day.

Glad to hear it, Artie!

I just got an ad on this site for the National Fire Protection Association. Have I talked about fires too much?