Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

velcro003 · Jun 23, 2022, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Thank you stopdog and LT

This person is one who my Pastor Therapist suggested I go to for support so it is really awkward when she isn't really that supportive but I have like hardly anyone I can talk to IRL about any of this stuff and 75% of the time she will just send back a prayer or something and that is something I find comforting. So not probably going to completely stop talking to her about things. But I do definitely need to be more specific in what I am looking for in a response.

All day I have been worried that I hurt her feelings by telling her she kind of hurt my feelings. She is in Israel right now and so we are texting and sending voice messages (well I sent her one voice message on her birthday singing happy birthday to her) and you know how things can go in texts where there is no inflection or tone or body language to cue into. But we usually talk on text anyway so that can probably be part of the problem. But when I do speak to her in person she does give the most amazing hugs and for that I am thankful/grateful.

T will be in Las Vegas this weekend "throwing money away" as she put it. I don't know how much she will be around for my dramatics! I did just extend my contract with her so that probably helps. Hopefully I will start feeling a glimmer of better soon. Things can't stay miserable forever! I think I am just fragile right now and that's making things harder on everyone around me. That's why I think it would be better if I didn't exist for a week. When I begin to exist in a week, hopefully all bad things would be better and I would be out of this mess. Wishful thinking. I'll get through it one day at a time...maybe one moment at a time. And mostly by myself, except for you all.

HUG for LT and headnot for stopdog

Kit

Hey Kit. The part I bolded is absolutely correct, though I fail to believe it a LOT. My T at the crisis center said that it is physiologically impossible to stay so low for a long period of time. I don't know, it gave me a little bit of hope. And she was right.

Daffydungle · Jun 23, 2022, 09:16 PM

I have discovered that i can have donuts delivered. What a world we live in, but you still cant have milk delivered by the milk company anymore

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 23, 2022, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

Burger Doodle? If that's the name of an actual restaurant, that's the silliest (in an amusing way) name I've heard in a while.

heehee no that's just what we called all 'fast food' when i was a kid

ArtieTheSequal · 10:55 PM

Just logged off from my weekly zoom drum circle. I'm feeling a whole lot better than I was earlier today, less lonely maybe, less disconnected from life, or something. I dunno.

ScarletPimpernel · Jun 23, 2022, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by velcro003

Hey Kit. The part I bolded is absolutely correct, though I fail to believe it a LOT. My T at the crisis center said that it is physiologically impossible to stay so low for a long period of time. I don't know, it gave me a little bit of hope. And she was right.

T (and now L) tell me "It's only temporary". So far, they've been right. It hasn't always been bad. L says that's the lie depression tells you.

Kit, you've had good times. While going through this hard period, try to hold onto that. Your cats, your dad bringing you goodies, work's different foods, the dinner with your bosses, the children you sponsor. I'm not saying it isn't hard right now. I am saying to try to hold onto hope. And if you can't right now, we'll hold it for you. I know L always is holding hope for me when I'm struggling and it helps.

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 23, 2022, 10:12 PM

LostOnTheTrail · Jun 24, 2022, 05:52 AM

Hi Couch,

Despite the Amazon saga, I've been kind of excited this week, waiting for delivery of a special edition book I ordered. Turns out I'll be waiting a while longer, as it's not actually going to ship until September.

George Harrison's wife has written a book of poems to commemorate the twentieth year of his passing. I'm a George Harrison superfan, so this is something I had to have.

If anything, I'm disappointed that I didn't read the page properly. I'd have had to read right to the bottom to see the September date.

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 24, 2022, 06:55 AM

Got up early to try to see the moon/planets aligned in the sky. It's pretty cloudy though, so all I can see is the moon and either Jupiter or Saturn. Since I'm up, and overtime is open today still, I'm gonna log onto work and do a couple hours. Might as well make the $, and I'm still feeling pretty good after the drum circle last night. That was SO much what I needed, I didn't realize how much I have come to depend on it until I had to miss it last week while car-buying.

ArtieTheSequal · 09:21 AM

That was a quick 2 hours!

SlumberKitty · Jun 24, 2022, 10:25 AM

Hi all.

Aftercare was really good last night. Always when I don't want to go, it ends up being like the best night. We did a song share...where we each take turns sharing a song that speaks to us when we are going through stuff.

This is the song I shared. FYI/Trigger it's Christian so you might not want to listen to it if that bothers you:

Then we did a worksheet about something we want to change about ourselves and different questions related to that like who can support us, what are potential obstacles, stuff like that. I said that I wanted to be a better advocate for myself and what I need.

Then for the second hour since it was a really small group (only three of us and the therapists) the therapist R decided not to play the Ted Talk he had scheduled because two of us had seen it before. So instead we did a team building exercise called the um game where we take turns answering random questions. It's supposed to build rapport. It's really fun.

So that really helped end my day on a better note. I'm glad I went to Aftercare!!

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 24, 2022, 10:28 AM

I'm glad to hear that last night's aftercare was good, Kit!

RTerroni · Jun 24, 2022, 12:39 PM

About to have my first Face-to-Face Therapy session in nearly 3 years

LonesomeTonight · Jun 24, 2022, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTerroni

About to have my first Face-to-Face Therapy session in nearly 3 years

Hope it goes well!

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 24, 2022, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTerroni

About to have my first Face-to-Face Therapy session in nearly 3 years

I hope it goes well!

SlumberKitty · Jun 24, 2022, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTerroni

About to have my first Face-to-Face Therapy session in nearly 3 years

Good luck!

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 24, 2022, 01:14 PM

Well it took me all 37 guesses, but I successfully completed today's duotrigordle! Woot.

ArtieTheSequal · Jun 24, 2022, 01:15 PM

I don't quite understand this though, when you "copy to clipboard":

Daily Duotrigordle #114
Guesses: 37/37
1️⃣5️⃣ 0️⃣8️⃣ 3️⃣2️⃣ 0️⃣2️⃣
1️⃣9️⃣ 1️⃣6️⃣ 1️⃣1️⃣ 0️⃣9️⃣
1️⃣8️⃣ 0️⃣7️⃣ 1️⃣2️⃣ 3️⃣3️⃣
2️⃣0️⃣ 2️⃣1️⃣ 1️⃣3️⃣ 1️⃣4️⃣
2️⃣2️⃣ 2️⃣3️⃣ 1️⃣7️⃣ 3️⃣1️⃣
3️⃣7️⃣ 3️⃣0️⃣ 2️⃣9️⃣ 0️⃣6️⃣
2️⃣4️⃣ 2️⃣8️⃣ 2️⃣5️⃣ 3️⃣4️⃣
3️⃣6️⃣ 3️⃣5️⃣ 2️⃣6️⃣ 2️⃣7️⃣

SlumberKitty · Jun 24, 2022, 01:15 PM

Four of my friends are travelling back from Israel, but they got delayed and missed their connecting flights in Munich. They are in a group of like 70 people so rebooking all those people to the US is going to be hard. Then to make matters worse, I guess the weather is bad there and they grounded the planes. I guess they are not making it back to the US today! I guess that is one of the difficulty with traveling. You gotta be flexible. I told them on WhatsApp that I was glad they were traveling together and had each other to keep them company! Hope they don't have to spend like 48 hours or something in the airport. That would be not too fun.

SlumberKitty · Jun 24, 2022, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Well it took me all 37 guesses, but I successfully completed today's duotrigordle! Woot.

Well done! I am no good with word games! I have great admiration for people who are!

SlumberKitty · Jun 24, 2022, 01:24 PM

Sheesh. I am bored at work today. I did a lot of work yesterday. I should have held some over until today.

SlumberKitty · Jun 24, 2022, 02:11 PM

I sent my parents a text message with an image of the tattoo that I am planning to get on the 2nd. Technically I am an adult and can do whatever I want, but since I live with them, I try to take their wishes into account.

Communicating by text with my parents is how I usually bring up difficult topics.

I think my Dad will be fine with it but I can guarantee my Mom won't be happy.

I usually call them on my lunch break....in about half an hour, so I might get an earful then!

NP_Complete · Jun 24, 2022, 02:23 PM

Feeling very depressed today. I wish my therapist would take two minutes and email me back. He emailed me first with a "hello and checking in" subject line and I responded. That was Wednesday. Was I not supposed to respond?