Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

I'm glad Dr. T will be back soon, although 3 more days can sometimes feel a lot longer! I'm glad that seeing R helped a lot. 10 or 9 days is still a lot. Former T used to be gone 3 weeks when she was in Singapore (but she actively encouraged me to email) so it was do-able. She went to Singapore every other year to teach a class. Most of her other vacations were a week or two weeks on average three to four times a year. She also went to Portugal sometimes. Those were pretty long breaks as well.

Dealing with breaks in therapy is never easy and I think you are holding up very well. I know that I get used to the consistency of seeing my T at a certain time and it throws me off when we can't, for whatever reason.

I hope that if you do over the weekend, feel the need to email Dr. T that you can and it will be well received. I know the recent conflicts about it have been hard so I could imagine that might make you wary. Hopefully he would be helpful and gracious and understanding.

Maybe you can plan something a little fun for yourself as a treat this weekend. Even if you can't leave the house to do it but IDK watch your favorite show or movie or something. Or if you are feeling up to it, go out for a bit to get a coffee or ice cream or something. Give yourself something to look forward to as you wait out these last couple of days.

I was thinking the anxiety could be causing my nausea but my Pdoc didn't seem that concerned about the anxiety even though I told him I have been having a lot of panic attacks. I guess in the large scale of things he was more concerned about the psychosis than the anxiety. Both can be troublesome and crippling though. If I can't get the anxiety under control it will be a long six weeks until I see him again. I got a device called Calmigo.

CalmiGo - Your Calming Companion – CalmiGoshop

It is supposed to help with anxiety but to be honest, I haven't really given it a good try yet. I use it maybe once a day and I think a person is supposed to use it three times a day at three minutes per time or something. I have the opportunity to set up a call to get instructions and stuff on how to use it. And I will but after my sister's children go home.

I'm off of work tomorrow so I might not be around but I hope you have a good weekend LT and that you can hang in there and do something nice for yourself while you await your Monday appointment. Wishing you the best. HUGS kit

Had a very long and unproductive meeting about my new task, which was finally postponed pending giving me access to the program I need to complete the task.

We have birthday cupcakes and wine, though I have to work tomorrow so I will be celebrating birthday-lite.

Hugs and head-nods to all the couchies. Welcome back Lola!

Sent from my SM-S908U using Tapatalk

I just cut my hair. As in, myself, i cut my hair myself. Im gonna have do an Outward Bound program or something like that, where they do trust falls, before i let somebody cut my hair again. My last good hairdresser nicked my ear and i didnt realize it and i went to the dr with a big crusty scab on it. I was like, why is he looking at my ears, he doesnt usually. Lordy how embarrassing.

Have any of you ever worked with someone who rejects you at your very core? Like someone whi is a total sexist, for instance?

In my case, ableist. I asked a colleague whom I work with very closely if she would adapt the format of a regular group event she holds so I could participate (it’s not accessible to my or some other disabilities). She also rejected a compromise I offered.

We tried to talk it out, but I cannot see how to deal with the knowledge that I have a colleague who flatly refused to make her event even a little bit accessible. Maybe time will help, but I need to work with her now and time takes a while.

Hostile work environment? You need to sue her and the school.

Is the event something you need to attend for work? If so, and I know you haven't had a whole lot of luck with them in the past, I'd probably take it higher in the university. Otherwise, depending on the relationship with this person and my level of comfort, I'd either tell them how disappointed and upset I am that they are not willing to modify the event so I can participate and/or be all passive aggressive with them when I was forced to deal with them in the future. I'm sorry people are continuing to be ****** towards you. F this person.

That’s the thing, I don’t need to attend, just would like to. It’s also not an official university thing (so no laws apply), though everyone involved is part of the university community and she gets service credit for it.

The issue for me is she’s quite happy to exclude. Before all the problems I had were due to faceless bureaucracy; now there is a face, and I’m uncomfortable working with that face as closely as I have to.

I would struggle to keep working closely with that person, too. You mentioned that you offered a compromise, so it just seems like she isn't willing to work to accommodate you (or others who would want to attend). I'm very sorry you're dealing with this.

And Kit, thanks for your reply. I think doing something for myself this weekend is a good idea. And I looked up that Calmigo--it looks interesting! But pricey. I worry it would be another item I'd buy, use a couple times, then it would just sit around. Let me know if it ends up helping you (or if anyone else on here has tried it).

My advice is to report her, nobody deserves to be left out of anything

As for me, I'm in inner turmoil (spelling?)

Today has dragged, Couch.
Second session cancelled too
Awaiting more news

I'm so sorry she cancelled again, Lost. Is she sick? Hugs, if wanted.

Said something, too much IMO, about an 'urgent medical appointment', so now I am trying not to Freak Out between now and next Thursday.

Being a lesbian has created a hurdle for some people. I've been asked not to come to a university event because I'm too lesbian looking. Which basically means I have short hair and don't wear dresses. I don't have tattoos or any piercings or any hair dye. I've had a friend who didn't want me near her children because of it.

Ugh, seriously? People are such idiots....

My son just graduated from university. I am sooo proud!

Yay daffydungle

Whoa. Ew.

I mean, I know lesbians with long hair who wear dresses and non-lesbians who have short hair and don't. I'm making a pretty big assumption here but I'm guessing even at a faith-based university neither of those groups would be excluded from the event. Sounds an awful lot like the problem isn't *looking* too lesbian. That's gross.

I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around this, in a shocked and what the hell kind of way. It just seems like basic social skills to adjust things so everyone who wants to attend an event can participate.

Its armchair psychologists who assume if you dont wear lipstick, then you are not trying to look like inflamed genitalia that would attract a male, and therefore you must be a lesbian. Pretty much direct quote from my brother, who is in fact a deskchair psychologist, and imo that chair is waaaay deep in the closet.

It's been a long week. So far today my accomplishments have been drinking most of a pot of coffee and updating my two-factor authentication on my gmail. I'm thinking if I get really ambitious I might polish off the rest of the coffee and...well, that might be the extent of it.

Actually I just got off the couch and took the sour cherries I've picked over the past couple weeks out of the freezer. I might make sour cherry jam and bake something. That sounds lovely and nurturing.

I'm not doing good. I've lost all hope. My goals and dreams have been taken away from me. Being a mom: gone. Being an architect: gone. Getting bariatric surgery: gone. I'm having a hard time holding on.

My sister asked me how I was doing, and I told her the truth. In return she sent me videos of each of my nieces saying they love me and hope I feel better. It was really sweet and a good reminder that I affect people, but it also felt like manipulation.

L wants me to take my anxiety meds every night until our session. And I'm trying to find a new pdoc. It's scary that I'll have to start over with a new person. I don't know if they'll trust me with both anxiety meds.

Hugs, Scarlet, I'm so sorry. What happened with the possibility of bariatric surgery? And I thought you did have a new pdoc--or was that because of the move that you couldn't see that one?

I understand how what your sister did could feel manipulative, but I hope you can maybe see it as that she cares about and loves you, as do her girls.

Is L possibly able to talk to you tonight and/or tomorrow? Please post here as much as you need, if it helps.

I lost all my doctors who worked at the clinic plus any that are in my other county. Insurance says I have to be within 25miles of my doctor. We thought I might be able to go to the one clinic up here, but they don't accept my insurance up here.

We were going to do a continuity of care, but it got real messy. My doctor is not actually my PCP. She's my PCP's physician assistant. I've seen her for years. I've only seen my PCP once. Insurance doesn't recognize my doctor as my PCP, so I can't do a continuity of care with her, and I can't do a continuity of care with him since I only saw him once.

So by being in a different county than all my doctors, I lose them all. And because I don't have my doctor anymore, I can't be referred to the same program my sister is doing. I'll have to start over with a new doctor and see if he'll refer me.

Btw, all my doctors I lost from the clinic include the P.A., my pdoc, the new psychiatric nurse, and my gynecologist. I also lose my neurologist, neuro-psychologist, and my sleep doctor. I also lost my dentist because she moved. The only doctor I didn't lose is L (thankfully!).

ETA: L has been keeping in contact with me through email all today. She'll be sending me another email tomorrow, we'll have a phone call on Monday, and then session on Tuesday. I can ask for an extra phone call if I need it.