Really distressed

I understand what you mean but that didn't actually bother me at all. I think it's because I know I'm not just a job to her - that's very clear from everything she has done for me, things I wouldn't write here. Also, she wrote that because she wanted me to know it's because she was genuinely busy and couldn't call. She wrote 'please don't think you're not important.' So it was intended to be helpful. I know T works really hard, not just seeing private clients but another job, and it's an issue she's always had. It's never led to her not calling me which hurts and that is something we need to address further.

Thank you. Yes therapist holidays are awful, especially two in one month As I said to Lonesome, her saying she's working to pay for it didn't bother me at all, but I know it would many people for understandable reasons. I think it's because in the context of our relationship, I know what she meant and don't perceive it that she sees me as just her job.

I know you've got good reasons for that sadly and I really feel for you. Losing faith in a therapist/therapy is an awful thing

While my T is flaky and works too hard and makes mistakes and can't deal with my anger, I've never had any doubt that she's genuine and wouldn't intentionally hurt me. She had her own major stuff going on two years ago and she consistently kept seeing me even though her life had gone to hell. I still don't know how she managed it given the circumstances. She does a lot for me that means so much and our connection is strong. I know she's not a bad person or bad therapist and many of our issues are simply because she is disorganised and forgets to tell me things and takes too much on. It's hard as I'm a type A and like to know where I'm at with everything, I need things to be rock solid, and T so isn't like that. But her heart is in the right place for sure.

Today is better but I'm still struggling. I feel very shaken by her not offering even a call and her defensive text. I guess I'll just have to talk about those things with her. I still think she didn't want to talk to me because she knew it was her fault I was upset. I really didn't want this just before she goes away. I'll have to try and be ok but I feel shaken to the core really.

Lonelyinmyheart, I feel for you. I hear you that you are still struggling--and I think that is an appropriate response to what has happened. Feeling shaken to the core also makes sense to me. I hope that you will be able to work through this with your T and come out of it in a much better place. It is hard right now, because you are sitting with it, and it might be hard later when you are able to talk to T about it. You are being very brave and very strong. Sending you comforting hugs, if wanted, Kit

Thank you so much Kit. I feel very down and I'm also panicking about the two holidays. I have stuff going on and I don't know how I'm going to manage. I'm angry with T for going twice in a month, angry with her for telling me the way she did in such a haphazard fashion and angry that she brushed off my need to talk about it. I know she'll hear that when I see her next week, but I feel so upset now and it's five days away. I think the only way to get through her breaks is to distance myself from her emotionally. I know that's because I'm angry though. If she'd told me gently and with compassion I think I'd feel better about it. As it is this is just horrid.

Lonely, I just want to say that I think it is SO brave of you to even tell your T your thoughts and feelings about her going away, and how it affects you. I just sent my T an email tonight telling her I was really sad when she told me she'd be away next week. It was so shame-inducing.

I don't want to go on about me, but I admire your courage.

I also understand the want to distance yourself emotionally from her. I am so sorry you are going through some awful stuff right now.

Thank you so much Velcro and I'm sorry you're struggling with T going away. It's such a hard time of year for us therapy clients

My T makes it okay for me to share how I'm feeling and I'm grateful for that. She isn't perfect - no one is -but when she saw how upset I was right at the end of the session when I'd just found out about her second break, her response was 'text me.' I did text her and she didn't respond (ugh) and I needed a call which she couldn't give, but her heart was in the right place.

It really is the worst time for T to be going away, never mind twice. I need her as an anchor right now I'm part of this is I'm genuinely scared by how I will cope without her. I have so much to deal with and I don't know how things are going to pan out. It's been an awful year.

I am so, so sorry. I wish I had some good advice for you. My therapist too has been extremely busy due to some family issues, and for the past 6 months we havent had regular sessions. I used to go see her every saturday. Now i havent seen her in person for 2 months at all. We talk on the phone once in a while. And thats better than nothing. But ive been soooo upset and its been so hard. It feels like it will be forever since i will get to see her again— dont even know when that will be.. I understand how desperately distressing it is. I wish so much both of us could go get to see our therapists RIGHT away. I hope your wait goes by really, really fast.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart I know you've got good reasons for that sadly and I really feel for you. Losing faith in a therapist/therapy is an awful thing While my T is flaky and works too hard and makes mistakes and can't deal with my anger, I've never had any doubt that she's genuine and wouldn't intentionally hurt me. She had her own major stuff going on two years ago and she consistently kept seeing me even though her life had gone to hell. I still don't know how she managed it given the circumstances. She does a lot for me that means so much and our connection is strong. I know she's not a bad person or bad therapist and many of our issues are simply because she is disorganised and forgets to tell me things and takes too much on. It's hard as I'm a type A and like to know where I'm at with everything, I need things to be rock solid, and T so isn't like that. But her heart is in the right place for sure.

Thank you, Lonely

I would say the same about my t and I. I'm a for sure type A and while she's an incredibly kind, warm, compassionate person she's flaky, forgetful, and disorganized. It's extremely challenging for me.

Thanks so much everyone. My t texted me late last night saying she hasn't stopped over the last few days but has been thinking of me and wondered how I am. It's not unheard of for her to text out of the blue but it's not something she normally does so it really means a lot to me. I'm still upset but at least she reached out.

Gosh that's awful, I'm so sorry you haven't seen her and your sessions are so up in the air. I would find that incredibly hard to cope with. I really hope you have some better news from her soon so you at least know when you can see her in person.

Yes absolutely, that sort of personality clash is very hard to deal with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart Yes absolutely, that sort of personality clash is very hard to deal with.

It really is, especially because she's been out for 4 freakin' months. She's *supposed* to return this week.

I'll see how it goes, but...