Couch 242: madam i'm adam

That's helpful to know you've had good experiences with them! I've just heard back from another one, based in the UK (via Fish Publishing), and now I'm debating whether to do that instead (I could get a refund for the Gotham one, minus the registration fee and $25). The Fish one would be working individually with the instructor with a 6-month window and cost about the same. And there would be 8 opportunities for feedback from the instructor, rather than the 2 that are in the Gotham course (though I'd also get feedback from classmates there). I'll check into that one more.

I didn't realize you were working on a memoir--you certainly seem to have lots of material for one, just from what you've posted here. Do you have a schedule for writing? That's what I'm hoping a course would help me with, as I tend to do better with deadlines set by someone other than myself.

Afternoon, Couch.

Reporting from Day 3 of the Lurgy.
Lying down is hard, waking up is a kind of nightmare.
Hoping to get some respite soon.

TW for Mother's Day talk.



Now to get another glass of blackcurrant cordial...

Hugs, Lost. I'm sorry that happened to the gift. I hope it's still usable! Our postal service treats things pretty poorly as well.


And I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks, LT.

It seems OK - I've transferred the documents to a plastic wallet now.

My mum really enjoys wildlife watching, and was looking into getting a dormouse nest box, but you need a permit for that kind of thing.

So I found a wildlife centre that actually allows you to sponsor a nest box for someone.

I'm hoping it's a good compromise.

I would say with Gotham that classmates’ feedback can be just as valuable as the instructor’s. You might also find people willing to be beta readers for stuff you write outside the course. Also, if it’s like other Gotham courses, there are optional weekly homeworks that the instructor comments on. The homeworks work on skills like writing good descriptions, so they’re helpful even if they don’t directly have to do with your project.

I’m afraid probably the best piece of advice Info ever gave me was, don’t pressure yourself to write. That hour every day most writers recommend doesn’t work for me if I don’t have an idea. So I tend to write as the spirit moves me, which has been happening a lot lately—wrote a (short) chapter last night. I think your proposed method is much more common than mine.

This is helpful, thanks! What I really need to be doing is using time to write instead of, say, scrolling social media or reading (and replying) on comment sections in newspaper and magazine articles. (And, OK, on here!) As I was saying to Dr. T yesterday, it isn't that I don't have the actual time to write--I'm just using my time poorly right now. I think I'd find writing more satisfying.

Maybe I could try some sort of compromise, where I set aside an hour each day, but if I find I'm not inspired, then I just don't use it. Like, 1-2 pm: "Try writing."

You could also use free writing prompts to start with.

Writing Prompts: 60 Ideas You Can Use Today - Freewrite Store

ooh thanks for that link, Lemoncake. I'm gonna check them out after work, on break now and it's just about over so gotta go log back into work...

Or perhaps I'll go off and write something just now.

Thanks, Lemon!

I've got Linda Ronstadt on the brain this morning, can't seem to stop singing "Different Drum".

Boy, today is not my day! First i find out the pharmacy is not renewing my insulin, which i had hoped to pick up today, because a) its cancelled and b) its the wrong amount so they think i have another month of it, when i barely have three days THEN i get an email from my apartment lease office saying you gotta sign by 3/10 which is what, tomorrow? But i re-signed in December! So i called and they found it.

Im afraid to walk out the door as it is, let alone with all this bad juju.

Oh no, Una!

I hope things pick up for you soon.

Ugh, I hope your day improves and that you can get the insulin you need. Hugs, if wanted.

There is an (ironically very short) book called How to Write A Lot that was instrumental in helping me develop a writing routine when I was finishing my dissertation. It's geared toward academic writing, but I bet it would work well for non-fiction/memoir too.

Have you seen the Wildlife Aid videos from the UK on youtube? Guy named Simon Cowell, but not that Simon Cowell. They're trying to build a permanent home for the wildlife center at the moment because the founder has cancer. Don't know exactly what this has to do with your comment other than wildlife and I felt like talking.

Oh, wow.

Thanks NP - I hadn't, but now I know about them, I am going to enjoy going down that particular rabbit hole.

I'm surprised I didn't know about them, because I tend to follow stories like that.

hugs una I hope your day improves!!

lunch time yay!

So far anyway, no overtime today or this weekend. I so hope it stays cancelled! A 2 day weekend will be nice! even though we have appointments on both friday and saturday, there's a chance the friday one could be less than an hour and the saturday one for sure should be less than that. getting old sure means a lot of dr appointments for him (he's 68 going on 98 due to how he abused his body when he was in his dumba$$ 20's).

Hope you feel better soon, Lost. HUGS Kit

You're welcome Artie. I want to start writing too.

I follow this lady on Instagram and she started sharing her prompt pieces. She paid for access to a writer too but I would want to do it casually at first. Her promps that I've seen had the title:

Working Mother (Day 11)
Anxiety (Day 10)
You Look Beautiful! (Day 9)
Boy or Girl? (Day 8)
Ambition to Rest (Day 7)
Two Peas in a Pod (Day 6)
Eggs (Day 5)
Mothering (Day 4)
Arlo (Day 3)
Coming of Age (Day 2)
The First ‘Me’ (Day 1)

I did text T a lot yesterday. Today I told her she could charge me for a session if she wanted to. But she said that wasn't necessary. She said I can text her when I need her. I am going to try to not text her until our next appointment though. She sent me to either my GP or urgent care yesterday for SH. I couldn't get into my GP. So I went to urgent care. They did crap for me. They were like, oh you're a cutter?! (I hate that term, I prefer self harmer.)



I called my GP when I got home and tried to see if she had a cancelation by chance. She talked on the phone with me but refused to see me yesterday. She said if urgent care didn't take care of it, she wouldn't either. Even though I tried to explain that I was discriminated against because it was self inflicted. She just said leave the bandage alone and come see me next week and talk to your psychiatrist. I tried getting a sooner appointment with my psychiatrist but he doesn't have any until April and I already have an appointment in April. Plus I know he doesn't deal with this stuff as he thinks that is best dealt with in therapy. So it will be pointless anyway.

I thought about going to the ER but by then it had been over 8 hours and I didn't know if they would suture it then. And I have had some not good experiences at the ER. I've had doctors get mad and yell at me. I've had them just rewrap it and send me home. I've had to go through countless psych consults. I've had way more bad experiences than good. So I just was like out of energy to advocate for myself again. I just figured I would take care of it at home.

I was so frustrated by everything. My symptoms. My behaviors. My lack of being taken care of when I found the courage to get help. I vented to a friend that "No one cared." Because that is what it felt like at the time. She ripped me a new one. I apologized. I said I didn't mean it. It was just how I was feeling at the time. She really got on my case. The thing is, even when I tell her I am struggling, she never follows up the next day to see how I am. She'll respond if I send her a text or something (usually) but never like, oh, how are you doing today? Or is there something I can do for you today? None of that. So that's frustrating. Because I would do that for her.

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night because I was so distressed. Then I finally got to sleep. Then I woke up at 2 AM and I was so distressed. I ended up reading some scripture and was encouraged. Today I sent my T a text and told her although I am still feeling frustrated about all these things I've mentioned here, I am feeling like I am ready to stop sliding and get back on stable ground. (My ending with ex T has really messed me up!) I'm just like sick of it all.

I'm really struggling to feel peaceful today and not stressed. My Dad brought me and my coworker/friend an iced coffee. I paid him for them, he was the delivery man! I am doing lots of breathing and lots of self examining and hopefully I can get on an even keel soon. I don't want a repeat of yesterday any time soon. I hope new T can help me and that I don't scare her off!

HUGS to anyone who read this far! Kit

That sounds really difficult and frustrating, Kit. It sounds like you might have found a decent therapist, though, who can actually support you. I hope you're not struggling as much today.

Sending safe hugs, Kit. I'm so very sorry you were treated that way at urgent care. That's awful. I wish I knew what to say other than I'm sorry and I care and am sending healing energy/hugs your way. I hope new t continues to be helpful and that you can get back to feeling on stable ground again soon.

Hugs, Kit. I'm sorry you were treated so poorly at urgent care and that your GP won't see you. I'm glad your T isn't charging you for the texts. Do you not meet with her again until next week?