Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
 
Member Since May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
9
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 22, 2024 at 10:04 AM
  #321
Dear T,
I SO want to ask you what’s going on with you but I am afraid of the answer.
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna

advertisement
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,825
12
3,156 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 22, 2024 at 10:08 AM
  #322
We touched the essence of it today.

I definitely feel more vulnerable in the world since Steve's death.

That makes little sense to me, but I think you understand it.

Thanks for being open to my process around the other video.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
ArtieTheSequal
Writing my way through...
 
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,309 (SuperPoster!)
4
5,794 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 22, 2024 at 12:09 PM
  #323
I feel SO good about my decision and our brief phone call yesterday. It was right.
ArtieTheSequal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, precaryous, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,825
12
3,156 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 22, 2024 at 12:13 PM
  #324
Well done, Artie.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
ArtieTheSequal
ArtieTheSequal
Writing my way through...
 
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,309 (SuperPoster!)
4
5,794 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 22, 2024 at 02:02 PM
  #325
hey L, betcha dollars to donuts my 'trapped in a cult' dreams are gonna stop now!!
ArtieTheSequal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,504 (SuperPoster!)
7
8,890 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 22, 2024 at 05:07 PM
  #326
Thanks for that reassurance that I pass 10/10. Also thanks for some other reassurance about things

By the way I did eat today and I ate when I got home too.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, unaluna
Lemoncake
Roses are falling.
 
Lemoncake's Avatar
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,752 (SuperPoster!)
6
10.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 23, 2024 at 09:47 AM
  #327
In this moment I am happy, but I'm also so very tired. I've been up since 4.50am.

The highlight of my day will be just getting to sleep. I'm grateful I have a safe space.

__________________
Lemoncake is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, unaluna
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,825
12
3,156 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 23, 2024 at 10:17 AM
  #328
'Many people in our podcast community had someone they thought would be an anchor, and then they weren't.' - Kate Bowler

The reality of that stings in my life.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,845 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 23, 2024 at 09:06 PM
  #329
Dear T,

Felt connected today, so thank you for that. Not sure what I was doing with the handshake at the end, but glad there was a do-over!

I'm glad, too, that you were willing to talk about the potential location of your new office. Without seeing it, I kinda hope it works out, based on location alone. Though sad it will likely be a little smaller. It helps that you're willing to talk to me about the process, to keep me in the loop. Glad R plans to go with you, too!

I'd like to figure out some sort of way to say goodbye to/honor your current office, though there's plenty of time to think about and discuss that. Hopefully, you'd at least be willing to let me take a picture before you pack things up (I'd like one with you in it, but pretty sure you'd say no to that! Suppose it's worth an ask.)

Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, ScarletPimpernel
ArtieTheSequal
Writing my way through...
 
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,309 (SuperPoster!)
4
5,794 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 24, 2024 at 12:54 PM
  #330
I had an insight this morning while journaling. Don't have anywhere else to share it but here now, so here goes: I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole “I need to grow up” thing and why it’s such a big deal for me. I’ve come to realize that repeatedly being told to “grow up” as a kid is part of my trauma! I mean think about it. To a child whose brain is still forming, who’s learning about the world, who’s just trying her best to survive in an often chaotic and abusive environment, being told to “grow up” sends yet another message that “You’re not enough as you are” and “You’re bad, you’re wrong, you need to change”.

And the fact that I've finally been able to hear this - to own and accept it - that I need to grow up - without going into denial/victim mode - is evidence of my healing that trauma.

And calling you on Wednesday morning was another step in my growing up.

Thank you for everything, from my heart to yours.
ArtieTheSequal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,825
12
3,156 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 24, 2024 at 01:21 PM
  #331
You're right - I am only now beginning to appreciate what he held for me....so much.

It would be easier if I could just be sad, but it appears I have to feel everything else under the sun before that can happen.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
Mountaindewed
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Mountaindewed's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,504 (SuperPoster!)
7
8,890 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 24, 2024 at 05:14 PM
  #332
You literally said 1400 calories a day is considered a starvation diet. Lol.

__________________
Ridin' with Biden
Mountaindewed is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,845 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 24, 2024 at 05:45 PM
  #333
Dear T,

Was hoping to go out with H tonight, but D thwarted that plan. Well, I guess H let her do that. Hoping she's willing to go to his mom's a bit tomorrow so we can go out. I just started feeling really sad earlier, fearing that this will be the rest of my life... And I hope I can have a few days away next month, but worry I'll have to delay that yet again. Wish I could talk to you, but we can discuss Monday. Not sure what you could say in an email to help... Would rather just talk.


Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, ScarletPimpernel
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,825
12
3,156 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 26, 2024 at 10:53 AM
  #334
I suppose navigating spirituality after any kind of loss is hard, but after a loss like this...it's going to be harder.

Above anything, thank you for being willing to have this part of the conversation with me.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
precaryous
Inner Space Traveler
 
precaryous's Avatar
 
Member Since May 2014
Location: on the wing of an eagle
Posts: 3,880
9
8,141 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 26, 2024 at 07:13 PM
  #335
Dear T,
I feel awkward sharing my past and present medical issues with you since I learned we have similar problems.
Do my reminiscences, issues, and stories scare you? Are you uncomfortable hearing about them?
I think I will keep them to myself from now on.
precaryous is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ArtieTheSequal, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
 
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,845 (SuperPoster!)
9
75.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 26, 2024 at 09:18 PM
  #336
Dear T,

D was anxious tonight because she has what I'm hoping are allergy issues and is afraid she won't be able to go to school tomorrow. She was getting pretty upset, and H yelled at her. It triggered me. I told him to stop (OK, I yelled, I guess), and he yelled at me. It's taking me back to being a kid and my parents being upset with me for my anxiety. Why does this stuff always seem to happen a few hours after sessions? I don't really want to email. I'm managing, though probably not as best as I could be.

I did walk earlier, like I said I would, full loop of the lake, so there's that.

Maybe I can use this as writing fodder...

Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
ScarletPimpernel
Wise Elder
 
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,427 (SuperPoster!)
10
6,451 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 26, 2024 at 11:04 PM
  #337
I know you're not there, and still I wait...

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,825
12
3,156 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 27, 2024 at 11:13 AM
  #338
I used a containment exercise this morning in an effort to get through work.
Moving the Critic to a fish tank is something I should have done a long time ago.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
MuddyBoots
Monster on the Hill
 
MuddyBoots's Avatar
 
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 4,394 (SuperPoster!)
3
4,985 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 27, 2024 at 03:07 PM
  #339
Write me a letter saying I can go back to the women's only pretty kickass shelter. Say you'll be on top of me (not in that way ) and that I'll be smart enough to not think (ok. stupid enough to think, but smart enough to at least not say anything).

__________________
Live life for nothing but that sweet sweet melody.
MuddyBoots is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
LostOnTheTrail
Tweaky Dog
 
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
 
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,825
12
3,156 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Feb 28, 2024 at 03:54 AM
  #340
I'm finally reading Jayson Greene's book Once More We Saw Stars.

Even though I bought it, I didn't think I would actually take the next step.

He talks about his therapist 'transforming into an inanimate object I could lean on' after his daughter's sudden death.

I didn't clock the times that you've done that for me.

Thank you.

__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
LostOnTheTrail is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
Reply



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII LostOnTheTrail Psychotherapy 1021 Dec 16, 2021 09:15 AM
Lost my dear dear friend tonight LucyD Our Pets 18 Jun 01, 2015 10:20 PM
Dear God Zen888 Sanctuary for Spiritual Support 1 Jan 25, 2009 01:37 PM
Lost a dear,dear friend enigma17 Grief and Loss 6 Oct 24, 2006 08:49 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:57 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.