Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVII

Mountaindewed · Dec 20, 2023 at 11:06 PM

I do like you a lot besides the scheduling stuff and we work well together. I do wish you would push me more. Sometimes you are too nice. And if I'm being 100% honest your weight is kinda a distraction. Sorry. I'm just being honest.

Elio · Dec 21, 2023 at 10:36 AM

Dr. S - I don't even know what I'd say to you if I saw you again. If I emailed you again. I guess I always thought myself more than another case file. But really, I wasn't. I was the same as all your case files. Just because you take/took more care with your job, with how you handle cases than lots of therapist, doesn't mean I was anything more than another case to you. No - that is more about you than me, how you do your job. I wish I would have realized that a long time ago. I'm not sure how much it would have changed things. I'm not sure it could have changed things.

Tomorrow will be 3wks. This Christmas will be the first one where I don't have mom, dad, or mommy (you). I really need to get better sleep.

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 21, 2023 at 03:25 PM

I faced my fear this morning and did the thing and I never even told you I was going to. I feel stronger for it, and that's going to help with the sad thing h and I have to do tomorrow.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 21, 2023 at 05:17 PM

Dear E,

I'm doing the best I can at the moment, and I still feel exhausted.
Could it really take a week for me to 'land' after this?
I guess I have had a week's build up to the event, without my usual support system...🙄

I'm beginning to wonder how I'm going to explain the depth of this to R next month.

Yes, the festive period is one thing...but dealing with his birthday in the middle of it floored me.

Speak to you tomorrow,

Lost

Mountaindewed · Dec 21, 2023 at 05:20 PM

Why do you think I like Daniel Tiger and Sesame Street? I watch them when my niece is over and even then I'm on my phone. I mean I'm 30 years old. I don't get why you asked what episode was on today and stuff like that. It didn't really offend offend me. I just found it kinda weird, and I had the news on all day so I wouldn't feel like a loser.

speckofdust · Dec 23, 2023 at 01:58 AM

I'm pretty sure you gaslighted me earlier. I hope you'll answer my question about that.

Mountaindewed · Dec 23, 2023 at 05:53 PM

Just a question. I mentioned being attracted to Kelly Clarkson. You didn't say anything. Then I also mentioned being attracted to Keke Palmer. And you said "how does that make you feel?" What did you mean by that comment excatly? Is it because shes black and I'm white? So what? Man do you make some iffy comments.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 23, 2023 at 05:58 PM

Hi R,

I don't know how I'm going to explain the challenge that this time has been...but I think I'm going to need you to move for that conversation.

Just under two weeks to go, and I already have the first page of notes.

See you soonish,

Lost

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 23, 2023 at 06:32 PM

Wellll there's more problems with my car than just the tire. And we are taking things day by day with Stormy. So don't be surprised if I need to cancel this Friday

Possible trigger:

because if Stormy goes downhill again and we have to put him down, it would have to be on Friday afternoon so our son can be on the phone with us to say goodbye to him and that's important to me.

I really want to come talk because we need to get back to that subject you thought I was sweeping under the rug. But it might not be possible this week. I don't want to try to have this conversation over zoom, either. It needs to be in person.

speckofdust · Dec 24, 2023 at 02:22 AM

I still love ya, bae. I hope you will have good answers for me, soon. It was a rough week all around, and I need to know your thoughts on the matters that are still open.

KLL85 · Dec 24, 2023 at 02:15 PM

So in four months we have gone from you terminating me, you then contacting me six weeks later to say you realise you handled things badly and would like to give it another go if I was willing, hashing things out and being brutally honest with each other, and now on Christmas Eve you unexpectedly leaving me a voicemail because you want me to know I’m not forgotten between sessions and that you know how difficult the next few days are going to be for me.
This isn’t what I was expecting after everything that happened in August, but your voicemail today was one of the most thoughtful and caring things anyone has done for me. Thank you so very much.

Lemoncake · Dec 24, 2023 at 04:06 PM

Retail therapy is awesome. I can afford to buy nice things for my family, because I'm not handing over stupid amounts to you or any of the other incompetent therapists before you.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 24, 2023 at 06:34 PM

Dear T,

A gift my sister-in-law got made me think of you, because we were talking about it last week. When she opened it, I was like, "I was just talking to...someone about those!"

Survived that gathering (despite D having a rough go of it), including eating dinner. H said I did well, and I'd agree. (And I didn't even come up with some excuse to leave for 30 minutes like my brother-in-law.) I enjoyed talking to my sis-in-law, too.

So, that's one down. Now to get through Christmas Day with my parents. (I'll try to think of the fond memories that we discussed, maybe create some new ones.) Of course, then there's the rest of Christmas break (doesn't help that D keeps saying how many days are left). But I see you Wednesday, so that will be an outlet, if needed. (Though I keep having this weird feeling that will end up being virtual--hope not, as it will mean one of us is sick or some other bad thing.)

Love you,
LT

Elio · Dec 24, 2023 at 08:13 PM

Dr. S. I wish I could talk with you. Nothing bad or anything. I simply miss talking with you.

speckofdust · Dec 25, 2023 at 01:45 AM

I think we are so similar. You told me that you are "weird," in the context of comparing yourself to others. That was endearing. I hope you will read my email soon - maybe on Tuesday - and reply.

ArtieTheSequal · Dec 25, 2023 at 02:48 PM

Merry Christmas, L. Hope you and yours are having a beautiful day. And (I hope) I'll see you on Friday.

LonesomeTonight · Dec 25, 2023 at 07:31 PM

Dear T,

So Christmas with my parents went OK, too, despite some rough patches with D. I think in part due to our talk of Christmas memories last week, I opted to stay an extra hour and a half to hang out with my parents after H and D left. Because like we talked about--who knows how many years I'll have with them? I mean, who knows how many years (or days or weeks or months) I'll have with anyone? So I should make the most of the time I have. And I think talking about the positive memories put me in the mindset of wanting to stay, not trying to get out of there as soon as D wants to leave.

Whether you do something for Christmas or not, I hope you had a nice day, whatever you were doing.

Love,

LT

ScarletPimpernel · Dec 25, 2023 at 09:03 PM

L, Thank you for your text. You made me cry. Things like that is why I love you. And I didn't even remember making you the painted window. That was special seeing it. Merry Christmas L.

Lemoncake · Dec 26, 2023 at 07:03 PM

I said "yes" to something I would have declined on previously. It was an offer to see Christmas lights still up. I also live close to an old castle, which I've never been to before. We walked up to the grounds, then left as it was already dark. The round trip took 4 hours, but overall though it was tiring, I really did have fun at the end and I'm glad I went.

New Years resolution 1: Say "yes" to more things.

LostOnTheTrail · Dec 27, 2023 at 03:46 AM

I have a feeling you are going to want to know how this extended break was.
I want to gloss over it...but that's not going to help.

Steve's birthday landing when it does is a challenge I wasn't prepared for.

What that means seems to change over time.

One moment at a time...right?

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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,808 (SuperPoster!) 7 9,014 hugs given	Dec 20, 2023 at 11:06 PM #121 I do like you a lot besides the scheduling stuff and we work well together. I do wish you would push me more. Sometimes you are too nice. And if I'm being 100% honest your weight is kinda a distraction. Sorry. I'm just being honest. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,375 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,833 hugs given	Dec 21, 2023 at 03:25 PM #123 I faced my fear this morning and did the thing and I never even told you I was going to. I feel stronger for it, and that's going to help with the sad thing h and I have to do tomorrow.
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speckofdust Grand Member Member Since May 2016 Location: USA Posts: 901 8 296 hugs given	Dec 23, 2023 at 01:58 AM #126 I'm pretty sure you gaslighted me earlier. I hope you'll answer my question about that. __________________ https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite/blog *Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.* - Dennis DeYoung "It is possible to turn poison into medicine." ~ Tina Turner Remember we're all in this alone. ~ Lily Tomlin
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Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,808 (SuperPoster!) 7 9,014 hugs given	Dec 23, 2023 at 05:53 PM #127 Just a question. I mentioned being attracted to Kelly Clarkson. You didn't say anything. Then I also mentioned being attracted to Keke Palmer. And you said "how does that make you feel?" What did you mean by that comment excatly? Is it because shes black and I'm white? So what? Man do you make some iffy comments. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
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Lemoncake Roses are falling. Member Since May 2017 Location: Seattle. Posts: 9,800 (SuperPoster!) 7 10.3k hugs given	Dec 24, 2023 at 04:06 PM #132 Retail therapy is awesome. I can afford to buy nice things for my family, because I'm not handing over stupid amounts to you or any of the other incompetent therapists before you. __________________
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Elio ............... Member Since Sep 2006 Location: in my head Posts: 2,912 17 8,780 hugs given	Dec 24, 2023 at 08:13 PM #134 Dr. S. I wish I could talk with you. Nothing bad or anything. I simply miss talking with you.
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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,375 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,833 hugs given	Dec 25, 2023 at 02:48 PM #136 Merry Christmas, L. Hope you and yours are having a beautiful day. And (I hope) I'll see you on Friday.
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ScarletPimpernel Wise Elder Member Since Nov 2013 Location: US Posts: 8,432 (SuperPoster!) 10 6,457 hugs given	Dec 25, 2023 at 09:03 PM #138 L, Thank you for your text. You made me cry. Things like that is why I love you. And I didn't even remember making you the painted window. That was special seeing it. Merry Christmas L. __________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
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