Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

ArtieTheSequal · May 05, 2024, 04:15 PM

they won't be bothering me in AZ, but it looks like my mom and both sisters are right in the expected path!

unaluna · May 05, 2024, 04:20 PM

I think its like the eclipse was - we are just a little off center.

ArtieTheSequal · May 05, 2024, 04:36 PM

I remember the cicadas well from when I was a kid. So loud. I kinda miss their song though here in the desert. But, there's other night sounds here that I enjoy.

Lemoncake · May 05, 2024, 05:53 PM

Not related to my sister’s ongoing building work saga- but I bought access to legal UK government documents and found out on Friday that my grandmother and aunt lied to me/ my siblings.

Possible trigger:

My grandmother died in 2019. Probate was granted in 2020. The will they read to us just after she passed was not the same one they submitted. We never questioned anything and left it up to our aunt to sort out and we trusted her. The legal wrangle for the property in question is worth over £1.5 million. It’s the fact that my aunt lied for the past four years that I’m most hurt by. I just bought her flowers for her birthday last month.

I cried on Friday and Saturday. Comfort ate Haggen Dasz ice cream ( however it’s spelt) and watched the 2006 movie hitch with Will smith which actually helped. I’ve gone through all the emotions but we will be seeing if we can fight this and getting legal advice.

Lemoncake · May 05, 2024, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Thanks for the comments--this makes a lot of sense. And I was considering a trauma-informed T about a year ago, but there were a couple things about her that gave me pause from our 30-minute free consult, so I opted to stick with Dr. T. I may look again to see what's out there. She'd seemed the most promising option (for somatic T), who was accepting new clients and would meet in person, at the time, but there may be others now. (Not really clear how somatic therapy would work virtually anyway!)

I will say that Dr. T was just a regular psychologist, with a PhD and training in that, for the first part of his career. It's really only been in the past maybe 10 years (of a 20+-year career) that he got additional training/certification in sport psychology and "mental performance" (which can also be used for, say, business executives). He said at one point that sport psychology clients make up half or less of his practice at a given time (and many of them are short-term, like while their sport is in season).

Ultimately, the most important thing is to find a therapist who you feel understood by and supported.

Somatic therapy can be more challenging to conduct virtually, as it often involves a focus on physical sensations.. However, some therapists have adapted somatic techniques for online sessions, incorporating practices such as mindfulness, breathwork, and body awareness exercises that could still be effective virtually.

There may be new options available since your last search.

Trusting your instincts and taking the time to explore your options can help you find the right fit for you or if you choose to stay.

LonesomeTonight · May 05, 2024, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Are you in line to get the cicada invasion? They have been warning us for weeks that they are coming. Other than if I was a farmer, I have no idea why I am supposed to care about the cicadas coming. They are kind of noisy and the cat will bring in a couple like he is a mighty hunter, but other than that -they are not bothering me.

No cicadas for me, but we had one of the big broods in 2021. With the timing, I was thinking, "Great, I feel kinda safe doing things outside again, and now we have to deal with these!" Dining outside was a bit of an adventure when they were around. They're really dumb and will just fly right into you. Plus the noise. I remember one landed on Dr. T's back while we were meeting outside one time. He freaked out a little.

I'm in an area with lots of old-growth trees, so I think that led to there being more of them than in some other areas. It was the same (but in a different part of the state) when they arrived the 17 years before that. My apartment balcony was covered in their skeletons.

LonesomeTonight · May 05, 2024, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Ultimately, the most important thing is to find a therapist who you feel understood by and supported.

Somatic therapy can be more challenging to conduct virtually, as it often involves a focus on physical sensations.. However, some therapists have adapted somatic techniques for online sessions, incorporating practices such as mindfulness, breathwork, and body awareness exercises that could still be effective virtually.

There may be new options available since your last search.

Trusting your instincts and taking the time to explore your options can help you find the right fit for you or if you choose to stay.

Thanks, Lemon. I might see how I'm feeling in a week or so. Our home mold remediation starts tomorrow at 8 a.m. (in three different parts of the house), so I don't have the mental energy to try looking for someone new the next few days. But maybe I can just poke around, see if anyone seems appealing.

Lemoncake · May 05, 2024, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I really like seeing a poem in the typewriter. How it should be.

I think the best notes are written on
skin with sharpie markers.

ArtieTheSequal · May 05, 2024, 09:17 PM

H is mad at me again. He called me in to help him with something on his computer and while I was fixing it I deleted a 'test' comment on his fantasy baseball league blog. He got furious. Because they aren't allowed to delete comments. I didn't know!! So I told him he needs to learn how to deal with the website himself so I don't get his friends mad. He took that to mean i won't help him with anything. I told him that's not what I said, not what I meant. I just don't want to mess him up again on the blog. Of course I started crying I couldn't help myself. I feel so broken. Why won't he just leave me if I make him so miserable? I guess he's as incapable of leaving as I am. I am drinking wine and thinking dark thoughts. I should write them away.

atisketatasket · May 05, 2024, 10:33 PM

So I was going to spend a week at a professional development workshop at a CA college in June, done in collaboration with a humanities non-profit.

But I asked for a captioner, and they "don't intend to provide it."

So tough choice: withdraw and spare myself the aggravation, or go and be frustrated the whole week?

unaluna · May 05, 2024, 11:38 PM

So... maybe everything is pretty much on the powerpoint presentation and handouts? Any exercises or assignments also wouldnt be off the cuff, they would be planned and written up?

Can you get a syllabus, and maybe they can assign a grad student to assist you with certain tasks?

Do they just assume there is assistive tech available? Or do they assume no one needs assistance?

stopdog · May 05, 2024, 11:39 PM

Is there any fun to be had (broad sense - something else to do out there, old colleagues you want to see, and so on) if you went? The aggravation of having to pull out versus the aggravation of being there? If no to the fun question -then I think sparing yourself as much aggravation as possible is my vote.

atisketatasket · May 06, 2024, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

So... maybe everything is pretty much on the powerpoint presentation and handouts? Any exercises or assignments also wouldnt be off the cuff, they would be planned and written up?

Can you get a syllabus, and maybe they can assign a grad student to assist you with certain tasks?

Do they just assume there is assistive tech available? Or do they assume no one needs assistance?

Oh, I’m pretty sure they assume no one needs assistance.

What you say won’t work because the workshop is about podcasting. I need a captioner for that. Anything else I can do on my own.

Also, what you propose—those are hacks. Thirty-four years after the ADA, no one should have to use hacks and only hacks.

Leaning towards the SD solution of forget it, because even if they change their minds and I go, I’ll always know their first reaction.

Lemoncake · May 06, 2024, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

H is mad at me again. He called me in to help him with something on his computer and while I was fixing it I deleted a 'test' comment on his fantasy baseball league blog. He got furious. Because they aren't allowed to delete comments. I didn't know!! So I told him he needs to learn how to deal with the website himself so I don't get his friends mad. He took that to mean i won't help him with anything. I told him that's not what I said, not what I meant. I just don't want to mess him up again on the blog. Of course I started crying I couldn't help myself. I feel so broken. Why won't he just leave me if I make him so miserable? I guess he's as incapable of leaving as I am. I am drinking wine and thinking dark thoughts. I should write them away.

I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time right now. Crying is a normal response. I hope you stay safe.We’re hear if you want to talk more. You could always also PM me.

Just an observation but Everytime there is a fight the first response is talking of separation.

What is it that YOU want Art? Living in environments that no longer serve us requires a heavy toll to be paid.

May 06, 2024, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

So I was going to spend a week at a professional development workshop at a CA college in June, done in collaboration with a humanities non-profit.

But I asked for a captioner, and they "don't intend to provide it."

So tough choice: withdraw and spare myself the aggravation, or go and be frustrated the whole week?

I know you said this is non-profit, but is this something you would pay for? There's zero chance I would pay to experience discrimination. Regardless of fee, I would also tell them why I wasn't attending. I wonder if they have any social media so you could explain publicly why you aren't attending.

LostOnTheTrail · May 06, 2024, 07:15 AM

Fantastic points, Comrade.

I presume the event is something that ATAT would pay to attend, given that it's in collaboration with a charity, rather than being organised by the charity.

atisketatasket · May 06, 2024, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I know you said this is non-profit, but is this something you would pay for? There's zero chance I would pay to experience discrimination. Regardless of fee, I would also tell them why I wasn't attending. I wonder if they have any social media so you could explain publicly why you aren't attending.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Fantastic points, Comrade.

I presume the event is something that ATAT would pay to attend, given that it's in collaboration with a charity, rather than being organised by the charity.

Yes, there’s a tuition/equipment fee, which my dean covered. I would pay for travel/lodging.

Non-profits are obligated to provide accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Perhaps they don’t realize that.

NP_Complete · May 06, 2024, 11:57 AM

It makes me sad and angry that you repeatedly have to fight this battle. Be better people!

LonesomeTonight · May 06, 2024, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

It makes me sad and angry that you repeatedly have to fight this battle. Be better people!

Seconded!

LonesomeTonight · May 06, 2024, 12:01 PM

Hugs, Artie. I hope you're feeling better about yourself today, Your H overreacting like that is on him, not you.

LonesomeTonight · May 06, 2024, 12:03 PM

Today, I was unable to get into the Wifi at a place where I was trying to do work. Turns out, I was typing "love" instead of "like". (It was something like, "ilikeseattlecoffee" and I was typing "iloveseattlecoffee" (was trying to avoid the ubiquitous chain as an example--and no, I'm not in one of those either). I told the employee "I'm just trying to be more enthusiastic about it!"

NP_Complete · May 06, 2024, 12:55 PM

I sent my therapist an email yesterday with some thoughts for today's session and there's something in there I really, really regret saying. Nothing bad, just some feelings I have about our dynamic that I don't want to discuss, even though yesterday it felt important to tell him. Now I don't want to show up today.

LonesomeTonight · May 06, 2024, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I sent my therapist an email yesterday with some thoughts for today's session and there's something in there I really, really regret saying. Nothing bad, just some feelings I have about our dynamic that I don't want to discuss, even though yesterday it felt important to tell him. Now I don't want to show up today.

Hugs, NP. I feel this very much. I hope it goes OK talking about it today.

NP_Complete · May 06, 2024, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs, NP. I feel this very much. I hope it goes OK talking about it today.

It went ok. I didn't post what I said in the email here because I didn't want stopdog to have to retire to her fainting couch.

LonesomeTonight · May 06, 2024, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

It went ok. I didn't post what I said in the email here because I didn't want stopdog to have to retire to her fainting couch.

Glad it went OK. Feel free to PM me.

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