I used ChatGPT to help write a Christmas card to my T

retro_chic · Jan 09, 2025, 07:55 AM

I had my first session with T after the Christmas break today and she mentioned how nice the Christmas card was that I gave her last year. I gave it to her at the end of the session so we didn't get to discuss it much. She said she was surprised by it because she had never heard me express these things before. I said that I had mentioned these things a few times and she said that's true but not in this way. The truth is, I used ChatGPT to help write it. I put in what I wanted to say and asked it to make it sound better. What I originally wrote was more dry and ChatGPT made it warmer and more sentimental, but it didn't feel disingenuous and I meant everything I said.

I know I am overthinking this but should I tell T? I am far less articulate in sessions than I was in this card and said as much today. I worry she will think that a) I am too dumb to write a card myself and b) that I didn't actually mean what I wrote since it wasn't 100% my writing. I feel like I am being dishonest but if I tell her she will like me less.

unaluna · Jan 09, 2025, 08:58 AM

This is the first positive thing i have ever read about Chatgpt, so i might be inclined to admit it. Maybe that is its niche - writing Hallmark cards? Thats... regrettable! Youre like an evil genius to have discovered this.

retro_chic · Jan 09, 2025, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

This is the first positive thing i have ever read about Chatgpt, so i might be inclined to admit it. Maybe that is its niche - writing Hallmark cards? Thats... regrettable! Youre like an evil genius to have discovered this.

Haha I'm not sure if this is a complement or not. Still unsure whether to mention it to T

Jan 09, 2025, 10:57 AM

I don't think there is anything obligatory about having this kind of discussion with your therapist. You might see it as your business and not something of their concern. However, it might be that speaking about it would give you more information about your relational patterns/emotional states/aspects of self. For example, is there something to explore about those parts of you who don't feel expressive or competent enough to write a meaningful card without borrowing words from elsewhere? Or would it be useful to look at what happens to your experience of intimacy when you use an external tool? What feels compromised or facilitated and so on? Personally, I probably would discuss because it would point some important relational aspects for me, but you might not be working in that way. YTMV. Your therapy may vary! Look una, I have invented new Gen Z speak! Comrade on the cutting edge as per.

NovaBlaze · Jan 09, 2025, 11:14 AM

@retro_chic, I think it’s really good that you cared enough about writing the card to look into how to word it. I can’t see anything wrong with using ChatGPT for this. When I was younger I used to buy books that provided guidance on writing letters for specific purposes. Tools like ChatGPT can make this research a lot easier to do these days - and you have learned something different to what you would have written yourself. This shows you’re prepared to learn, and learning is how we grow - I hope I never stop learning.

As regards telling your T - I can’t see any need to do that. ChatGPT may have guided you, but you were the one who thought about using it as a guide - take credit for that.

Jan 09, 2025, 11:32 AM

Oh I don't think there is anything "wrong" with using gpt, but I think it is an interesting enough action to explore (particularly given the context).

Therapy reviewed · Jan 09, 2025, 03:13 PM

It's not something id have done.. It reminds me of the pupils trying to be the one that gives teacher the best end of term Gift. Kinda 2nd hand emotions... But that's just me..

AnaWhitney · Jan 09, 2025, 05:25 PM

I don’t think you need to bring it up unless you want to. If it only happened today, it’s still fresh and you will feel worse about it and overthink more. See how you feel before the next session and the feelings will probably have de intensified.
You know you meant the words, it sounds like you just needed a bit of help expressing yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that

retro_chic · Jan 09, 2025, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Therapy reviewed

It's not something id have done.. It reminds me of the pupils trying to be the one that gives teacher the best end of term Gift. Kinda 2nd hand emotions... But that's just me..

The sentiment and emotions are not "2nd hand", they are very much genuine. Considering you don't know what my feelings towards my therapist are and how much ChatGPT tweaked my original draft, it's really not for you to say....

retro_chic · Jan 09, 2025, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I don't think there is anything obligatory about having this kind of discussion with your therapist. You might see it as your business and not something of their concern. However, it might be that speaking about it would give you more information about your relational patterns/emotional states/aspects of self. For example, is there something to explore about those parts of you who don't feel expressive or competent enough to write a meaningful card without borrowing words from elsewhere? Or would it be useful to look at what happens to your experience of intimacy when you use an external tool? What feels compromised or facilitated and so on? Personally, I probably would discuss because it would point some important relational aspects for me, but you might not be working in that way. YTMV. Your therapy may vary! Look una, I have invented new Gen Z speak! Comrade on the cutting edge as per.

Thank you, I agree it could be helpful to discuss for the reasons you mention.

Also, just for reference, here is part of the draft I wrote:
"Thank you for your kindness and patience as I know it has been a slow process at times."
VS the ChatGPT version:
Your kindness and patience, especially during the slower moments, means so much to me."

So the sentiment is still the same but the tone is a bit different. Maybe it's not a big deal, I dunno. I will see how I feel by the time my next session rolls around.

stopdog · Jan 09, 2025, 08:11 PM

I don't see this as big deal or really any deal at all. I would not spend time at an appointment talking about it.

unaluna · Jan 09, 2025, 09:08 PM

Thanks for the sample comparison. I wanted to know, but i didnt want to pry. The chat version read more emotional, but i liked the sense of more information in your version.

retro_chic · Jan 10, 2025, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Thanks for the sample comparison. I wanted to know, but i didnt want to pry. The chat version read more emotional, but i liked the sense of more information in your version.

I think I wanted to convey a tenderness but couldn't seem to communicate that in the way I wanted to so I sought assistance lol. If I don't chicken out, I think it would be interesting to see what T thinks of both versions.

volsinchy · Jan 10, 2025, 04:38 AM

I don't think it's a big deal. You wrote it by yourself and edited with AI. I use AI for work, and redo my original letters to clients. I am bad at English and expressing emotions, but it helps me a lot.
It's our work mostly, these texts. We just making them better with AI.

Therapy reviewed · Jan 10, 2025, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retro_chic

The sentiment and emotions are not "2nd hand", they are very much genuine. Considering you don't know what my feelings towards my therapist are and how much ChatGPT tweaked my original draft, it's really not for you to say....

For myself it is for me to say... I prefer organic..

unaluna · Jan 10, 2025, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retro_chic

I think I wanted to convey a tenderness but couldn't seem to communicate that in the way I wanted to so I sought assistance lol. If I don't chicken out, I think it would be interesting to see what T thinks of both versions.

I am so unflowery, it surprises me that the computer is MORE flowery.

MuddyBoots · Jan 10, 2025, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Therapy reviewed

For myself it is for me to say... I prefer organic..

I would argue there's a difference between "I'm struggling getting the tone I'm striving for so I got some help by using AI to adequately convey what I feel," and "I asked AI to write a letter to intentionally convey feelings that don't exist or misrepresent them." I would further argue that if you're giving a Christmas card to someone, the former is 100% okay and the latter is manipulative in the way they say people pleasing is manipulative. It sounds like @retro_chic is doing more of the former.
---

I'd say if it's bothering you, bring it up, but I would also say if it felt authentic and you never claimed you made up and worded the whole thing yourself, don't sweat.

LonesomeTonight · Jan 10, 2025, 03:04 PM

I was thinking of how people have been giving Hallmark (and similar) cards for years and years, with words written by someone else. And you plugged in what you were feeling to get the words edited in a way that seemed better to you. It's not all that different from going to a store and buying a card that expresses something similar to your thoughts. Just more hidden, I suppose. I have my own thoughts about ChatGPT and AI in general (as an editor for work and writer by hobby, I fear AI making those obsolete). But I think for something like this, it's totally fine.

ScarletPimpernel · Jan 10, 2025, 04:07 PM

My H uses chatgpt and others all the time. Yes it's for work/professional letters, but it's the same concept. AI is better able to express things than he is. And like LT said, people have been using Hallmark or other's poems and such to express themselves for a long long time. If it's bothering you, just explain it like you did here.

divine1966 · Jan 11, 2025, 12:21 PM

I don’t think it’s any different than asking someone to proof read your card or buying Hallmark cards. I don’t think t or anyone else needs to know how you write your Christmas cards.

I’d say if you gift a painting signed by you but you didn’t really paint it, then you need to disclose. But that’s a card. You aren’t claiming any copy rights, so I don’t think it matters.

I am terrible at writing cards so I usually don’t, but if must, I ask other people what I should say if I am trying to express XYZ. I don’t think it’s a big deal

retro_chic · Jan 11, 2025, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I don’t think it’s any different than asking someone to proof read your card or buying Hallmark cards. I don’t think t or anyone else needs to know how you write your Christmas cards.

I’d say if you gift a painting signed by you but you didn’t really paint it, then you need to disclose. But that’s a card. You aren’t claiming any copy rights, so I don’t think it matters.

I am terrible at writing cards so I usually don’t, but if must, I ask other people what I should say if I am trying to express XYZ. I don’t think it’s a big deal

Yeah, I know it is technically fine and I wouldn't even be thinking about it if T hadn't mentioned how it was "surprising" and she hadn't heard me express those things before. I sort of feel like I owe her an explanation now. I also feel self conscious about not being more expressive in sessions.

corbie · Jan 11, 2025, 07:55 PM

This definitely sounds like something to talk about, then. Not because there's anything 'dishonest' or otherwise wrong about it, but because the ability to express ourselves, and how we come across, is a pretty big deal and just the sort of thing to work on in therapy.

divine1966 · Jan 11, 2025, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retro_chic

Yeah, I know it is technically fine and I wouldn't even be thinking about it if T hadn't mentioned how it was "surprising" and she hadn't heard me express those things before. I sort of feel like I owe her an explanation now. I also feel self conscious about not being more expressive in sessions.

I think many people find it easier to express themselves in writing than face to face. Regardless if it’s written independently or with assistance.

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