Any suggestions on what to write on Ts holiday card

to express gratitude, etc....

I would appreciate suggestions, ideas, etc..

Do you have a favorite quote? Lyrics? Poem?

Not like, "There once was a T from Nantucket" or anything . . . something nice.

Dear T.... thanks for taking my money, love coco

I think it would mean more to you and her if the words were truely yours..yes its scary being vunrable and thinking we may say something wrong or supid, but this is a great chance to make this all about what you would like to say, a way to get to know you! not what someone else would right...try it, your feel great!

I agree with Mouse-- what would you like to tell your T? We all have personal experiences, so I don't think it would be as meaningful if you took suggestions from us.

The best thing to write would to be something that is meaningful to you that you think your T should know. Really like any other holiday card or expression of thanks.

LMAO

Excellent Kiya.

But... what if the T WAS from Nantucket?

Speak from your heart.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and kind words.

Happy Holidays

what did you decide on? ...if you want to tell us =)

Kiya...I haven't written it yet.....ughhh!

If you really want to do this then do it - that sound harsh and i dont mean it to be - i know its scary- - - you will find the right words - look inside they are there - sometimes i dont do anything rather than do somthing that may be wrong - I think you can miss out on life a lot that way - I have many regrets - dont let this be one of yours - if you really feel that you want to do it - then go for it and if you decide not to then that is your decision that is right for you at this time - decisions are hard - that's why i dont make them LOL take care P7

Coconut, I hope you were able to find the words to express what you feel. If you decided not to send a card, that's OK too. You can always work in session on being able to speak from your heart directly to your T. It needn't take a card, but I do think a card can be a very heartfelt gesture.

I have been with my T for 3 Christmases now. I have never sent him a holiday card, but I did yesterday! I have not actually sent holiday cards to anyone for at least 5 years, and I am coming out of my shell this year and sending a few. It's actually a big deal to me as I think it is one sign I am getting back to "normal" in life. So I decided yesterday to send cards not only to my standard friends and family but to many of those who have helped me this year. I tried to write something meaningful and from the heart in each of those cards. T was included in this. I wrote a few sentences of what it has meant to have him with me on this journey, and I signed it with my name and a heart. I won't see him again until after he has received it. I am not worried about what he will think. He will know it is heartfelt. I do not expect we will talk about it.

sorry...I have only been in therapy for about 2 months...is it too soon to give T a holiday card? I know what i want to say, but I am wondering if it's even worth it? what do they do with them later? Just throw them out? Or, file them in your records...LOL.

There is no timetable on sending a card. If you feel like doing it, then you should go ahead. I think it is great you want to so soon and feel secure enough to do it. There also is no rule on what the therapist does with the cards. They probably each do their own thing, and I would assume many throw them out. What is important is not that they keep your card but that they read it and learn of your feelings/intent/gratitude -- whatever you are trying to convey. Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and I think a card from a client to therapist is a way to show appreciation.

Coco, when I wrote my note I waited until everyone had gone to bed and sat in a quiet house. Then I started to list all the things that she had done that I was grateful for. From this list I combined and selected a few things were the most meaningful. Then I just wrote her a short note thanking her for these things. Your words don't have to be creative, fancy, or even spelled correctly...they just have to say how you feel.

Maybe not. We don't really know who are T's really are, maybe they do just throw our cards in the trash after we leave. I spent a lot of time this year working on a simple picture, I thought would directly and accurately convey to my T something important I wanted to say. For all I know after I left... she might have shown it to her office manager and said, "Look another one of my freaks gave me their amature artwork....Don't they get that its all an illusion. "

There are a lot of ungrateful people out there getting gifts that don't mean anything to them. If the card gets thrown away before its read, its their loss not ours. It is not the gift givers responsiblity to make sure the reciever appreciates the gift. If my T is just acting or doing her job, then... I just gave her a positive review on her work performance... she can add it to her dossier when putting in for a promotion.

BUT... if she is at all human and has days where she wonders if her life has meaning, if she has ever profoundly affected someone, or if there is a reason she should drag herself out of bed and get to work today....then my giving her a Christmas card was worth it.

Now I have the urge to get my T a holiday card. Ugh. I never gave him a card before. What the hell do I write? "Happy holidays and a wishing you a good New Year!!!" NO. It would feel like a moment of being completely generic, which does not fit into our therapy, even for the sake of the holidays. Also, if I get him a card that says more than just "Merry Christmas!" it would feel strange because everything I have ever given him has been my creation. Maybe I will commit myself to the challenge of finding a card with words that really connects to the way I feel (watch me end up getting him some stupid, cheesy card that plays Jingle Bells when he opens it). Oy.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm not getting T a card

Like you said, everything in our therapy feels so genuine - not generic - and I just don't "feel" like getting him a card right now, so I'm not. If I felt like it, I would. I'm probably bring him some Christmas goodies I'm making, just because he seems weirdly excited by food.

Just do what feels right. Maybe buy him some socks to go with the cheese cube shirt?

I think you just may have the perfect slogan for therapy. "Just do what feels right!"
If it turns out that what feels right at the moment is not mainstream, is not proper etiquette, Kosher, ... is pathological that's OK. That's one of the benefits of the therapeutic relationship-- its designed to withstand these issues.

Ah ha! Chaotic, you hit upon something. You talked about a "therapy slogan." I forgot that I have a sense of humor. I pick out a nice card and then put some type of "therapy banter" that T and I have shared. I like to make him laugh.

On the outside, my holiday cards say:

We shall find peace.
We shall hear angels.
We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds!
(Chekhov)

On the inside, it says "Happy Holidays"

This card is very much me, and my T will totally get that. There is nothing not genuine about the sentiment. What is most important, though, is the personal message I wrote inside, not the printed message. If it is uncomfortable to send a card with a printed message inside, one can buy a card that is blank inside and not have to worry about that.

What I really like is that I rather easily sent the card to T and didn't angst over it. The act was very simple and I didn't worry he wouldn't like the card, think it was inappropriate or crossing a boundary, that it would make me too vulnerable, that he would reject me, think the card was stupid, throw it in the trash, or whatever. This was just very normal and easy for me! I think I am starting to be normal again!

Why didn't you worry about these things? With your 1st T, did you worry about them?

Last year I worried quite a bit about what my T would think about what I did or didn't give her. I am not completely over these worries but...I see progress.

In my Christmas card I chose to focus on sending a gift of gratitude.

One of the major ruptures that occurred between my T and I this year was related to silence. If you recall, this particular rupture almost ended the therapeutic relationship, but then as we worked through the misunderstandings, it yielded a major shift in the relationship.

I put the following quote on the inside of her card and thanked her for helping me gain a new perspective on silence.

“A room devoted to silence honors and invites the unknown, the untamed, the wild, the shy, the unfathomable— that which rarely has a chance to surface within us.” (Gunilla Norris, Sharing Silence)

I really hope she actually read this before tossing it. :-)

I think because I am secure in the relationship. I felt gratitude--we are nearing the end of our journey--and wanted to express it. I didn't really care what he would think, lol, it was more important what I felt and what I wanted to do. He is only the recipient. He can take it or leave it, but I am sure, knowing him as I do, that he will be appreciative. The other 2 years I wasn't my own person enough to do this with T, or even really to consider it. Plus, we were in the middle of so much stuff. Now it seems a good time to say thanks. With my first T, I never worried about any of this stuff because I wasn't attached to her. She was just a person I paid for a service--we didn't have a special relationship (I had no clue that was even possible or common or beneficial).

It is really nice to be able to see progress like this.

That's a nice quote you sent to your T about silence.

I love that I started this thread and I still haven't sent T anything