[AnaWhitney]

Does nobody here worry that their T will recognise them from their posts?
It’s always something I’ve worried about. I don’t know why since my T knows what my issues are. But it stops me posting properly.
I’ve deleted so many posts and have been told by admin that I can’t delete anymore so watch what I post. I understand this but it now stops me posting when I really want to share my journey with you guys
I have very paranoid thinking in general but it feels so real to me
How do you all get around this ? Or is it a me thing ?

[CANDC]

I hear you @AnaWhitney - I am sorry you feel anxious about your therapist seeing your posts. As long as you do not give out personal info or your location it is very difficult for anyone to track you even if they wanted to. Most therapists I know are very busy doing therapy and trying to live their life and they do not spend their spare time trying to find out what their clients think about them.

If you want to share totally without them even having a possibility of seeing it, you could email yourself or message one or more persons here at MSF that you want to share with. People may not be aware they can message multiple people but that is an option.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

[stopdog]

I honestly don't think it is that easy to spot clients. Look at how many times the same question/issue/situation comes up here - just look at old threads - the same stuff gets repeated by different people all the time. Clients are not all that unique and therapists are not either. I don't think there is any thing to worry about. I also don't think that therapists are all that interested in what clients do outside of an appointment.

[AnaWhitney]

Thank you both for replying! The thing is , I know all of this logically but it doesn’t help with the paranoia that I have.
I want to give more details but can’t because of this very issue 🥲

[Mountaindewed]

I don't really worry about it. But I'm not sure what would happen if she did find me. I think quite a few people would be able to identify me if they found this site. Not just my T.

Kind of unrelated, but I actually think I accidently found my T on Reddit. It was for a very specfic sub for something we have in common. This reddit user gave out info that she had told me.

[AnaWhitney]

Omg!! Have you checked out her other posts ? Like on the therapists page ? I’m so interested!!

[LonesomeTonight]

My T has specifically told me that he wouldn't look for me on here. I accidentally shared my username once while talking about something on the site (or maybe I printed something out? I forget). But he reassured me that he wouldn't go looking, which was enough for me. He's said he doesn't have time or the inclination in general to go looking up what clients might have said on a forum.

So I think you're likely OK to post. Maybe avoid anything very obviously identifying, change a detail or two maybe, if it makes you feel better (even if it's, for example, saying your session happened on Monday when it was actually today), and I think you should be fine.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I don't think this will help, but I've actually showed L some of my threads here. I tell L everything, so whatever I write here, she already knows. I share with her so she can see other's opinions. Now I haven't done that in awhile. I also know that she has no time to come on here and see what I'm up to. But she does support me in being part of this community.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by AnaWhitney

Omg!! Have you checked out her other posts ? Like on the therapists page ? I’m so interested!!

I just found some posts from some vauge sub. It didn't seem like she posted much. The thread I found her on was from a few years ago.

[MuddyBoots]

I worry about that way too much. Even though I do change some details like when I see her and stuff, I feel like a lot of crap is pretty obvious. Then I think "why do I care? I either tell her everything or am ashamed to say certain things out loud but kind of want her to know them anyways, and otherwise I wouldn't even post the other stuff here, so what am I afraid of?"

I've been in r/therapists and have seen some therapists that I feel like would be my T, and I get all worried when I see posts from them about a specific client of a "how do I handle (some obnoxious maybe scary or dangerous behavior)?" nature even though there's a gazillion therapists and clients in the world.

[Therapy reviewed]

I use to secretly wish she would... In the early years when i desired her world centred on me... Then the rest of therapy happened..

[Taylor27]

I don't think my therapist has the time to look me up here and if she did, I'm sure she it would be okay. I used to worry allot when I was with my other therapist because she was working at the community mental health and somethings that where going on I wondered if I would get her into more trouble if someone at mental health looked at what I posted. My old addiction counsellor who still works at the community mental health used to come on to these forums allot back in 2012. I do not know if she still does.

I feel like since I'm no longer a client at mental health that it's okay to post again. I also felt I needed to protect my old therapist, I still do in a way. I am thinking of staying with my new therapist regardless if my old therapist phones me to start therapy again. I think the boundaries got to messy and I started to feel very paranoid even online.

I think therapist are too busy to look clients up and I'm sure in there spare time they have lives to life.

[Lostislost]

I don’t think my T would ever look for
posts by me, I think he only cares about what I choose to tell him directly.

[corbie]

Haha yeah I just posted a condensed history of our relationship, so if she ever came across it, she might find it extra familiar. Or she might not. Thankfully, the chance is practically nonexistent, and also I don't think I posted anything I wouldn't put my name to if it ever became necessary. It's still unreasonably unsettling, just not enough to keep me from posting.. I guess I already have so many hang-ups about expressing myself that by the time I get to the point of posting something, it already has been working on my internal resistance so hard that something like this just won't be enough to stop it from coming out. I can see how for someone else the feeling would be intense enough to hold them back.

[corbie]

Originally Posted by Therapy reviewed

I use to secretly wish she would... In the early years when i desired her world centred on me... Then the rest of therapy happened..

Haha yes, sounds familiar.

Of course, for us there was the problem of some things being very hard to bring up in session at all, let alone discuss in detail. So I posted a lot of stuff on message boards that I really wanted to send her, like 'look here, this is what I want you to know, if you'd only listen when I try telling it in session'. Very little of that stuff did I actually get the chance to tell her (or did I feel she heard what I was telling her).

[SquarePegGuy]

If "Ana Whitney" is your real name, then create another account using a fictitious name, such as "Square Peg Gal"

I've wondered if T might recognize me from my posts, not I'm not worried about it. I suppose if I complained about him I would, thought I'm slightly concerned that he knows exactly what house I live in and drives by every time he commutes to the office. Then he comments about the house of one of my wacky neighbors.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by SquarePegGuy

If "Ana Whitney" is your real name, then create another account using a fictitious name, such as "Square Peg Gal"

I've wondered if T might recognize me from my posts, not I'm not worried about it. I suppose if I complained about him I would, thought I'm slightly concerned that he knows exactly what house I live in and drives by every time he commutes to the office. Then he comments about the house of one of my wacky neighbors.

I don't know if they delete accounts anymore. I've tried a bunch of times in the past year, but mine is still here. It's almost like the mods know when I ask, I'm in a dark mindset, and I'll regret in a week

But please don't take "Square Peg Gal," that's third on my list

[Waterbear]

Yes!! But sometimes the risk is worth it for the support!

[SquarePegGuy]

@MuddyBoots, I used to use "Square Peg" elsewhere. But a few folks assumed I was female, so I don't want to mislead anyone. I don't mind gender confusion.

I rarely masquerade as female; never in a serious / real life forum like this. I just do it in RPGs sometimes.

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by SquarePegGuy

@MuddyBoots, I used to use "Square Peg" elsewhere. But a few folks assumed I was female, so I don't want to mislead anyone. I don't mind gender confusion.

I rarely masquerade as female; never in a serious / real life forum like this. I just do it in RPGs sometimes.

Where were you that "square peg" indicated female? From my understanding, guys liked pegs too (I am so sorry). (Also, not sure if this is a "my circle" thing, a New England thing, or what, but the term "guy" feels more androgenous than masculine, although now that I'm thinking, I wouldn't really use it for a singular female use if I didn't know the subject well or I knew she'd mind, but for sure would instead of "les femmes" or certain people or if gender was impossible to tell such as online)

I get it though. I know there's at least one member here that thought I was a man. I more so didn't like the confusion than what the confusion was about. To be fair I think around that time I was dating a woman, and have been told by an (ex irl friend because he blamed me for being attacked) that I'm more masculine than him in attitude and almost as masculine as him in looks.

Thoughts circling now...probably gonna have a thread in some other forum haha.

[AnaWhitney]

Thanks everyone! I know you are right, it just always stops me from posting in the detail that I would like to. But that’s just me , I find it very hard not to give all the details and it’s something I need to work on as I often feel bad afterwards for oversharing.
She knows all of the stuff already, it still just feels icky to think I could be recognised here.
Thank you for all the responses, I enjoyed reading everyone’s thoughts!