Asking for Support

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chaotic13 said:
I think I was getting too attached and sucked into this interaction andI lost sight of why I was in therapy.

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((((((((((((((((( chaotic ))))))))))))))))))))

Isn't this part of the point of therapy? To become attached, experience the transference, and work on our issues in the context of the relationship?

I hear you, though. It hurts. I totally get it.

Maybe we could BOTH go to our next appointments to see what they bring?

((Chaotic))

You sound depressed. Maybe you could talk with T about how you are feeling right now?

Maybe you could tell her that therapy is having this effect?

In those times when I have been able to tell T how I feel, we have been able to work through what is going on for me.

Sunrise,
Monday I decided that I was just too tired, unfocused and mentally fatigued from my reactions to the last session, dealing with the course this weekend, and the typical crap I deal with daily to attempt more self discovery this week. I email my T explaining this and saying that I thought in my current state of mind that I did think a session this week would be very productive. If she thought there was a benefit to coming like this to the session this week to please email me back and I would come. Otherwise cancel my session. Now having canceled my session this week, I'm kind of thinking that I don't want to go back, at least for a while. I feel like should trying handling stuff myself now, therapy is just not productive anymore.

I don't feel like I've burnt the bridge, or at least I hope I haven't. I think I could still call her up and schedule an appointment down the road if I chose to.

Miss C, I am feeling like I've back slided a bit. But I'm OK, I now have a better friend supports.
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To become attached, experience the transference, and work on our issues in the context of the relationship?

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Earthmama, I think I started to go in this direction, hence my comment about losing focus. I think my therapy was about helping my family not dealing with my past. I think the attachment and maybe transference that was occurring was not appropriate for me.

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chaotic13 said:
Monday I decided that I was just too tired, unfocused and mentally fatigued from my reactions to the last session, dealing with .. the typical crap I deal with daily to attempt more self discovery this week.

I feel like should trying handling stuff myself now, therapy is just not productive anymore.

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Hi Chaotic, it sounds like your therapy is productive but maybe you just can't handle that right now?

So your T just cancelled your appt?

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chaotic13 said:
I think I am really struggling with learning the finer boundaries and rules attachment and dependence. The fact that I don't know these things leaves me with negative feeling about myself.

I'm not sure if my desire for comforting or at least acknowledgment from my T is appropriate or not. I'm not sure yet if I am willing to risk finding out.

I learned that I can endure humiliation and survive. That other get confused like this too.

I've realized that I still don't communicate what I want very well. This time I thought I was being clear, but wasn't.:

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Hi again Chaotic, good analysis! I remember when I had to learn what was normal and what wasn't normal. If you didn't have the luxury of coming from a functional family and, therefore, didn't learn these things, what can you do except learn it now.

What you learned about "humiliation" is awesome. I remember when I learned this too. Hopefully you will progress further and realize that you don't need to feel humiliation. We are all human, have weaknesses and need to learn things. It is okay.

I don't think that perfect communication ever comes. It might take a bit of back and forth before anyone can understand exactly what you are saying/what you mean. We are all unique and communicating that isn't easy.

chaotic, I can hear how hard it is right now. I am glad to hear your have good support from your friends now. That is so important.

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chaotic13 said:
I was just too tired, unfocused and mentally fatigued from my reactions to the last session, dealing with the course this weekend, and the typical crap I deal with daily to attempt more self discovery this week.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Did you know that not every session has to be really intense and deep, about self discovery, working on trauma and other difficult topics? Sometimes we go to therapy just for support. Hopefully your T can follow your lead on this, and if not, you could tell her directly. For example, my last two sessions were very kick back, not intense at all, and they followed on the heels of several very intense times together. Last week for part of our time together, we sat on T's couch side by side and watched Laurel and Hardy videos on his laptop. And laughed. I needed a break from the intensity. Then at last night's session I was ready to engage, ready for more, and we had a wonderfully connected and productive session, and went way below the surface and did some good work. It's the ebb and flow of therapy. chaotic, I hope you can go back to therapy when you're ready, tell your T what you need, and take advantage of what therapy with your T has to offer.

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I think my therapy was about helping my family not dealing with my past

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That actually made me a little sad to read that. Where is the "you" in all of this? I wish you could go to therapy to help "you" and not just your family. You are a great person and you deserve it.

Take care.

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So your T just cancelled your appt?

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Yes

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Sometimes we go to therapy just for support.

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I'm not going back, there was never a real connection, I was only swept into the delusion of connection. Sunrise and others, I know your T's are different so don't let my situation affect you, mine has always been all business. Somewhere my needs changed and the relationship didn't. At the moment I am sad, but as someone said I will grieve it and then move on.

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sunrise said:

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I think my therapy was about helping my family not dealing with my past

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That actually made me a little sad to read that. Where is the "you" in all of this? I wish you could go to therapy to help "you" and not just your family. You are a great person and you deserve it.



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Yes, Sunrise said what I was feeling, but couldn't quite find the words for. It does make me feel sad when you say that your therapy isn't for you, but is for your family. YOU are important, and worthy, and you DO deserve to take care of yourself.

Hugs from Angel