1) Vacations are not permissible unless you take the patient with you.

2) Only one client per T.

3) No ragged couches allowed

4) Apologize when there is a rupture, it is always your fault.

5) No changing appointments. No decreasing appointments.

6) Anger at a patient is not permissible.

Okay, for anyone who's going to stick up for Ts, yes, this is sarcastic. I love my T and think he does need a vacation at this point.

But humour me. Can anyone come up with some more rules following number six?

7) Must make house calls.

[psych16m]

8.) must give patient the option to live at your house.
lol, good one and probly hard for a T to actually do lol.

[Kiya]

Soli, you forgot the original #4 or 5 of "T must see patient every day." but that can now be a subset of #8.

[Gravity]

9. Must answer all questions with an ANSWER, not a question (ie Well, what do YOU think about that?)

[krazibean]

10. Must tend to all your needs and not expect you to "reach out" to others and form your own "support system" and/or fulfill your needs on your own.
11. Must come riding on a white horse and save you every time your in a crisis and/or feeling lonely.

[MissCharlotte]

12. Must return all phone calls promptly and cheerfully.
13. Must call you occasionally out of the blue just to see how you are doing.
14. Must hold your hand in the two of his/hers and look you in the eyes and say you are doing such good, hard work and he/she is proud of you.
15. Must give you presents on your birthday.
16. Must give you one free session for every ten attended!

I could go on and on.

What fun Sol!

[Gravity]

17. Must stock the expensive tissues (not the cheap ones that fall apart after a few tears).

18. Snacks and drinks must be provided.

18. Must state at least once, every session, in some form, how the practice would be completely devastated, if not for you, the most interesting, amazing, fascinating client ever.

19. Must give every 3rd session for free.

20. Must give a 50 % discount for giving therapy to a therapist.

21. Must call randomly, at least twice per day, just to check in.

22. Must buy you a teddy bear.

23. Must compliment how fabulous you look at the beginning of each session.

[Kiya]

24. cannot ever use "tough love" as a teaching device.
25. must provide stuffy animals and crayons/paper

[TayQuincy]

26. Must commit to lifelong therapy
27. Must never die

28. If you MUST go on vacation, e-mail daily from your vacation spot so I know you're still out there.

[krazibean]

ugh i hate the "tough love" kiya...

29. SHARE YOUR FEELINGS T!!!

[chaotic13]

30. Must fill all silence with something insightful.

31. Must not have office chairs with assprints from previous patients

32. No preset boundary on session time-can be as short or as long as needed.

33. Must have small toasted almond or hazlenut iced coffee with cream and sugar from Dunkin Donuts ready when I get there.

[Simcha]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Soliaree said:
1) Vacations are not permissible unless you take the patient with you.

2) Only one client per T.

3) No ragged couches allowed

4) Apologize when there is a rupture, it is always your fault.

5) No changing appointments. No decreasing appointments.

6) Anger at a patient is not permissible.

Okay, for anyone who's going to stick up for Ts, yes, this is sarcastic. I love my T and think he does need a vacation at this point.

But humour me. Can anyone come up with some more rules following number six?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
7) Must have cookies.
yumm.

[Rapunzel]

I have taken my T cookies, but she didn't share them - just saved them for breakfast the next day, I guess (she admits to eating chocolate for breakfast).

[Simcha]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rapunzel said:
I have taken my T cookies, but she didn't share them - just saved them for breakfast the next day, I guess (she admits to eating chocolate for breakfast).

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

No no no!! The therapist must GIVE YOU cookies, not the other way around

You should tell your T. that she has a VERY bad habit

[MissCharlotte]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
31. Must not have office chairs with assprints from previous patients

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">



34. If previous patient leaves assprint, must fluff up and turn over cushion prior to my arrival.

35. Must have an ipod dock and play only the client's favorite artists during session.

36. Must accept all offerings of letters, poetry, etc. from client with gracious unconditional acceptance and gratitude.

37. Must occasionally ask patient what his or her favorite artist, singer, pop culture item is and explore associations accordingly.

[Behindthemoon]

38.must know P.C
nods

[pachyderm]

I just e-mailed the list to my T.

[chaotic13]

Pachy, your T is going to advise you to find a new peer group. LOL

[Kiya]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pachyderm said:
I just e-mailed the list to my T.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

heh - i was thinking of doing the same =)

[MissCharlotte]

39. When hosting a couples session, must be on client's side all the time, no matter what.