well the door is closed - he's engaged to her

Belle....It's good to have quiet weekends sometimes.....try not to overwhelmed yourself so much with dating stuff....there is no rush and you are so young....good news you have lots of time
I'm not doing anything really special this weekend except Saturday night going dancing.....I didn't go to my dance class this week, because I was sick on Monday and then today I had meeting with the real estate woman....
and now I'm so tired....and I didn't exercise the whole week which makes me feel down....hope I can catch up tomorrow.....
take care of yourself and everything will be fine....
M.

I know I know....I'm horrible....but I can't take anymore stress in my life right now....I'm so tired of work everything.....I prefer to avoid it and postpone it for a bit....I know it can be a very good news....but no news is a good news too....today I got a bill from the insurance company for the tests....that means tests have been done....so I wait another week I guess....hope the doctor doesn't call at all....I didn't even tell my sisters....they know that I have HPV....but I didn't tell them that I went for check up....I just want to know the news and tell them hopefully the good one.....I don't want to put them on stress for me at all....
Today, I went out with the Realtor and had dinner at that city.....I'm afraid that life style is not for me....well....I'm double thinking now....probably, I need to just rent a place now and then home hunting with more time!
oh such a great idea you gave me.....we do have such a thing in my culture too....we burn some stuff and makes smoke which we believe it will take care of all bad karma....we call it "Spands" in my language "Farsi"....and it smells great....but smoke detector goes off....hehehe....I will do that....may I ask you what your ethnic background is? it's just fasinating that people all around the world have similar customs....
Thank you so much....you are amazing as well....and I'm so happy to have you guys here and talk....these days I feel stronger and I don't tell everything to everybody as I used to....I have you guys to tell....thank you thank you thank you for helping me in the life journey....

I'm so tired....better I get some sleep....
have a wonderful weekend
M.

Hope you get a good nights sleep Marjan xx

And Sanity I thank PC every day for bringing us three together.

On a positive I do have a 'date' tomorrow night now - Chirs who I have been out with before, more friends than anything else.

On a naughty note - I emailed Mark today.... He replied with " I thought you must not be talking to me anymore " GRRRR
He said he didn't want to be a hassle in my life and thought it best to wait until I emailed him. Know that I shouldn't have but I feel okay for it... Told him that after what he put me through I shouldn't be talking to him at all

You are not horrible Marjn.... you are just doing what you think best. Only you know what is best for you. Given what you have said it does sound like no news is good news.

I am of mixed Aboriginal Ancestry (Native American). It is facinating to study indigenous cultures and see the many threads of similarity in spiritual practices. I am glad I was able to inspire you to draw on your culture to cleanse your home. Just take the batteries out of the smoke detector when you do it.

Ya know Belle that might be a good thing on some level to have said that to Mark. To express your true feelings instead of stuffing it and always playing nice with him. He did you wrong. Dish him some of that wrath. Turn up the volume! Love it. lol.

Hope you have a nice time out with Chris. I like your idea of some Belle quite time too. Being busy is good but alone time is important now and then too. Taking time to listen to your own voice and time to rest in the silence is all good medicine.

Be well ladies. I have been cycling quite abit the last couple of days so if I go quiet for a while don't worry about me. It goes how it goes. Take care.

My senior level has just yelled at me....OMG...that was so scary...and I'm sitting here at my cubical crying....can't stop it...I got really scared of him....
It was nothing....absolutely nothing....he was at my desk and I just told him two information at the same time....and he got mad, because he's not a multi-tasker although he's very smart....then I think he was ashamed too and he tried to explain me that he can just get one info at a time!!!!
This is happening very often and I know it's not just me...he does that to others too....but that was scary....I think I should tell him to take it easy really....he had just high blood pressure recently and been hospitalized!
Not sure what this much anger is for? and this is a large business....it's not a small company and he's not the owner of the company....why does he take so much responsibilities and so much anger?
I'm going to take it very slow and easy today....F...the work really!

How aweful for you. I'm so sorry he went off on you like that. Be sure to document exactly what happened. Time, details and witnesses. Regardless of how willing you are to brush this off you need to document this kind of incident in the workplace. If it happens again I would seriously think about reporting it. Either way keep clear and precise records of his behaviour. Including anything you witness. Write it all down. I am speaking to you as a professional right now. You need to keep a record should this escalate into something more.

He sounds like he is loosing it and needs some sort of intervention before it gets worse for him. Not sure you are the one to talk to him but he needs someone to talk to before he falls over with a heart attack or hurts someone. He sounds headed for a break down.

Anyway you can take the afternoon off? If so be sure to document why.

Hope you are feeling better. He had no right to go off on you and to scare you like that. It isn't nothing. It is serious. It is not okay to treat staff that way. There are workplace policies to protect you from that. I know, I write them. lol.

Unfortunately, he's a key member of the group....he's not a bad person at all...and he works very hard....and yes, he does have anger problem!!!!
I should be more careful with him...and when I'm talking to him, I just tells him one thing at a time....I would definitely talk to him about this....but not right now....when I sort out my thoughts and know what to say and when I'm calm...
Right now, he just hung up the phone with a client or whoever he was talking and he used F. word after that!!!!
You know with this bad economy....I'm so scared to lose my job and I've been working here just a year...there is no room for mistake....I know it's a big company with established rules, but what's the point....I don't want to create problem for myself....
I think he was ashamed of his temper too....and of course I got to address that directly to him....I will ask him if it's possible to tell me what to do to not get his temper out!
good lord, he's on business trip next week!!!
I think I should just learn how to communicate with him....then he will be calm down....and I have to stay away when he's busy like now that he's so irritated and stressed!!!
my brain doesn't function now to work at all....and it's just 10:30am here....I don't want to take off....that's not right for one argue...and I didn't say anything, I don't think even he understood that much!
but I would talk to him when he got back from his trip....I should sort things out!

Either way Marjn.... document the incident. Hopefully you will never need it but if you do you will have it recorded so you won't be relying on your memory. Please trust me on this one. It is good you have the kind of relationship with your boss that you can talk to him about this but don't let that lull you into a false comfort.

Keeping a record is not just to get him into trouble. It could also be useful if he gets sick and needs to take a leave of absense and will need a record of work place incidents to reinforce his case. It is a precaution for a number of reasons.

Take it easy. At least take a walk or something calming over your lunch break.

Hi Guys,
since I already had this copied for another post, I thought I'd stop by and post this for all the cheaters of the world LOL :

lynn....can I use this for my boss?

Sure Marjan - feel free to copy Machine Gun Squirrelly - there's also machine gun kitty too. They're for anyone who ticks us off lol

hehehe....great....but my boss has just left...and he came and said "good bye" to me...I just said...."have a safe trip"....and I avoid eye contact
My other coworker is crying in her cubical too....I think she has family issues....it looks like today is not a good day really....or wait a minute...today is same as other days, I'm just thinking it's not a good way!

ah....Peace....
see...today, I was thinking to call the doctor and find out about my test results, but then my short temper boss (he's not really my boss actually...he's just a senior level) has yelled at me and now I can't call the doctor....what if the doctor gives me a bad news? then I would have two bad incidents in a day!!!!!
I feel better and I even laugh at his stupid temper....I'm sorry for him!

Belle....great that you have a date this weekend....and I don't have any dates as usual...hehehe....

Sanity....biking is great....I love it....I used to bike everyday, but I don't have any bicycle here....love to get one

SanitySeeker.....I just emailed my doctor....it was like my heart was coming off from my chest! I just clicked on submit very fast, because I was afraid to not submit it!
here is 4:30pm on Friday and mostly, he's not working and got to wait till Monday....I'll get the respond back in my email then I have to login to the secure site to read them....hope they are all find....

Fingers corssed for you Marjan xx
Sanity take as much time and space as you need - I know you need to regroup every now and then

And Lynn that made me laugh and I don't think I had really laughed all week - huge thank you

Off shopping with Mum soon - have neglected her with all my 'dates'.. so quality monther/daughter time this morning

family time is always great....I'm just coming back from my younger sister's home....she made a delicious vegetarian dish from cooking magazine and then she baked a blueberry cake (it had yogurt instead of milk in the recepie)....it was the most tasty cake ever.....and now I'm off to bed.....hope I get over this cough and sinus pain then I can go dancing tomorrow night....I really need that after a week of hazels!
oh...I watched Julie and Julia with my sister.....oh....I love that movie....Meryl Streep is nailing it in that movie! She's awesome.....I'm a huge fan of her....she should have gotten the Oscar!
have a wonderful weekend
M.

I love that movie too

I made a banana cake today LOL and I have eaten almost half of it.. luckily it was low in fat

Sleep well Marjan xxxx

Hey, its such a small world isn't it!

I attend the Kadampa Centre in Southampton in the UK.

Nice to meet another Kadampa on PC.

wow....I just googled it and it looks like they have a center in Perth....

check this out http://www.meditationinperth.org/kadampa

I'm just back from the meditation class....today, we had meditation and then party....the food was great....but I prefer to have a class instead!

ya...enjoy your dating.....I hope I can get some dates too....but I really want to make myself strong and make good choices in my life....so far, I feel I'm better than last year....I'm so happy about it.....I think I was so miserable before....and I believe going to the Temple and practice Dharma helped me a lot to direct my thoughts and get rid of those negative ones....it's so amazing.....

hope for being a better person
Marjan[/quote]

that's awesome....how long have you been going to the centre?
they had a festival in UK last year....I couldn't go, but it was great....Geshe Kel Sang was teaching....He has another teaching I guess in Brezil this summer....I would love to go....Have you read any of his books? like "transfer your life"....
I've been going to the temple since April 2009 and it has helped me a lot....
I try my best to put the teaching in practice, but sometimes it's difficult!
good to see you here in this thread.....

Welcome AdamAW... this thread is a positive place to express EVERYTHING and ANYTHING.. love it when new people add bits

Had my date last night.. went to a movie.. sort of chick flick/comedy - was great. Chris is just lovely to be around (no spark but good company)..

I talked with Tom this morning (on our walk) about m down week... made me feel better - not 100% again yet back moving forward again slowly.

Hope you are all having a good relaxing weekend xxx

Our Babba dog was hit by a car this afternoon. Very sad around here. I watched the whole thing as I chased after him to try to get him to stop. He was running across the street to see some kids riding by on their bikes. My son is devistated. So am I. It just won't be the same around here without him. Even the cats are sad. Poor Babba.

Oh Sanity is that the Jack Russell?
I am so sorry - pets become part of the family and to lose them is heartbreaking.

When I had to put my dog down (she was 18...) people knew how attached I was to her and send me condolence cards.. I still have them even though it was 10 years ago.

My thoughts are with you and your son xxx

Thanks Belle.... yes... the jack russell. its tough enough to loose Babba but it is killing me to see my son in so much pain. I am totally drained right now trying to keep it all together. Hope I can sleep tonight. I am exhausted.

my dear Sanity....I'm so sorry...that's really sad....you are in my thoughts and prayers....I wish you and your son to be patient to pass these days....
Unfortunately, dead is certain, just time of the dead is not certain!!!
I wish you a good night sleep

Thank you Marjn. It is tough but in time it will get easier. So much of our day to day involved Babba. From keeping the chocolate put away to deciding if he was coming for a car ride or going for a walk. He slept with my son so it was especially hard for him to sleep last night. I didn't sleep much. Kept hearing Babba yelping everytime I got near to sleep. Couldn't get the visions out of my head. Imagining his body being swarmed by rats. Seeing the accident over and over again. Rough night. We need to decide what to do with his body today. I think I want to bury him in the garden. Heading out there soon to see if I can pick a good spot. I pray my son's grief begins to ease soon but it is going to take us both some time.

I know what you mean. I said to my son the hardest thing about life is death. He is hurting. He wonders who will be next. Every year for 5 years in a row now he has lost someone he loves.

We will try to be patient with our grief. Thank you for caring.