well the door is closed - he's engaged to her

Wow I haven't been on a computer over the weekend (which was a good weekend with nice company and a few stolen kisses) and so much has happened here

Sanity Seeker you sound really good in your posts. Very positive - hope that is the case

Marjan I am glad that you told Kevin. I would have been nervous too, so glad that it worked out okay.
With Aaron I am happy that you feel less for him when you see him - wish I could even face seeing Mark but I avoid the places that I know he will be.

Guys do see to be able to 'pick up' more easily but I think that they aren't looking for a relationship which makes it easier for them.
Maybe Sanity Seeker is right and if you try having 'fun' in the moment rather than looking for a relationship it will work out better.
I have fun and don't get frustrated.. the right guy will come along for us when we least expect it I think. You are not getting too old to settle down and have kids but I know how you feel. I feel pressure to be doing the 'normal' things...marriage, kids, house etc.. I tried that with Mark and in a way I think maybe I put too much pressure on myself to be living the 'perfect' life.

I guess the main thing is not to just 'settle' for any guy just because you feel that time is slipping away.

Sanity Seeker.. Job interview tomorrow? or am I getting the time difference messed up? Good luck.

Take care both of you

YOu got it right Belle... tomorrow is the big day. I am feeling really positive about the interview and life in general. Yippee!! Nice change of pace for me. Feel like I have arrived at the top of the hill and the view is great!

FlamingJune... Hi... nice to see another name on the thread. Hope you stay here with us. We are capturing and keeping alive the magic of positive energy.

thanks for support guys.....ya...I think guys can feel the desperation in a woman...that's right....I'm the same, I can feel the desperation in a guy and I dont' like it....
well....I'm not going after any guys right now....I'm making myself more busy with exercising and dancing, meditation and hiking....
It was a pretty good weekend.....
I'm relieved to tell Kevin and not making him wait for me.....as much as I hate to wait for somebody, I don't want anybody to wait for me!
Ya....I'm less and less into Aaron....I'm not going to the class tonight, because when he was saying good bye, he told me..."well...see you on Monday at the class!"....and I don't want to go to the class...anyway, I'm tired today and need some rest....but interesting, when we had the only dance together on Saturday night, We both really enjoyed it and laughed so hard together.....I think when you have that Chemistry with somebody, it will stay forever....sometimes, I really want to ask him how he feels about that? but I stop myself....I don't show him any kinds of attention at all....I don't ask him to dance but I dance with him if he asks me!
His friend even told me that Aaron is a player with a good heart....I said I know that and the funny thing is that he doesn't know that he's a player!
as you said SanitySeeker, girls are poping up for him from everywhere and it seems he doesn't have any problem to find a girl, but he does have problem keeping them....
ya...life is good as long as we are good to it too....
I'm happy for you Belle....It looks like you are happy and that's all it's matter....dont' worry about Mark....you need time to forget about him....just little by little....one day at a time.....you will be fine
take care everybody
I got to get back to my work now....with this daylight saving, I'm kinda behind of time....hehehe....very slow today....like running in a low battery....I even told my coworker to not expect too much from me today as my biological timing is not match with the clock today
Marjan

Marjan... it is the same with me and my ex. We can still have good times together. We talk on the phone regularly and can laugh and laugh and tell each other our secrets. Over the years since we split I have imagined the chemistry meant we would find our way back together. After a nice visit or a good talk on the phone I would be tempted to ask him if his feeling had changed and he might think we could try again. But I didn't let myself go there. He is one of those guys who never goes back. He maintains good relationships with his significant ex's but never goes back. Me... I am totally different. If I could find my high school sweety I would pick it up where he left it off in a heart beat. Same with my ex. The only two significant others could easily find their way back into my heart if they wanted but it isn't to be either way.

The interview went well today. I am exhausted from the effort. Mini panic attacks kept me awake most of the night and again this morning while getting dressed... lost of self talk getting through one step at a time. I will hear from them by Friday. Not letting myself speculate one way or the other. If I had to guess I would say I didn't get it but it just may be me trying to take the safe road so I don't get my hopes up.

Heading out into the garden for the rest of the afternoon. Return to my office tomorrow to continue the search for work. A couple of friends have asked me to help them develop business plans so I will get to work on them this week too.

I am with you Marjn... I usually have a good sense of the time. I don't wear a watch and if someone asks me the time I am always accurate within 10 minutes or so. Today I am behind the clock and feel like I am playing catch up.

Sounds like we are all fairly positive at the moment which is just great to read!

I ended up taking most of yesterday off because I was too tired from the big weekend - just on the go the entire time which I am not used to at all.
It was strangly easy to catch up with my high school friend.. hadn't seen him in 14 years.. to talk about blast from the past. He's turned out to be a really sweet, nice and intelligent guy... I could fall in love with him LOL but he moves to China in 3 weeks for work so friends is the way it is staying

Sanity Seeker I am so glad that you got through the interview. I know from what you have written before that it's hard to step outside the box and do things that you are unsure about - you did it!!!!! and no matter the outcome, I'm really proud that you went (and you should be too).

I was talking with a girl friend last night... came to the conclusion that men can get new partners more easily because they aren't looking at the woman thinking - will she be a good mother/wife/life partner... Where as I think we get to an age when we are looking at the whole picture (will he be a good hasband/father/life partner) rather than just going with the moment..

It was Lisa's birthday yesterday (22).. crazy that she is so young imo! I did wonder what Mark gave her etc... he was brilliant when it came to birthdays and making someone feel special.. I still miss him a bit and do hope that we can be true friends one day.
I still have my down moments (last night was like that and I don't know why.... too many vivid dreams) but will make sure that I pick myself up during the day today... plus I have yoga tonight so that is something to look forward too!

Take care girls

but I would like not want any of my previous guys back in my life really.....I used to be in love with Gary so much....but I don't want him back....probably, I'm more like your ex....I would never turn back unless it's just recent...that's interesting....If I find somebody else and have a good time, I'll forget all about the previous ones....I think because it was always a solid reason for my breakups....about Aaron, I was dumped, and that's why probably I'm seeking for his attention still....but I know deep down in me that it's better for me to not be with him....
I wish I could take that noises out of my mind, the ones who are telling me I might end up alone and it's so scary.....
I'm looking for another place to buy and live....It's so difficult to find a good place here in southern california....it's mostly expensive and old....I hope I can get something good soon....otherwise, I got to move somewhere else....my current place is not comfortable that much...and I rented to just stay here for few months now it's going to be a year....arggg....how time is flying so fast....
I might go to my dance class tonight....I feel so energetic and I'm afraid that if I move from here, I won't be able to go to the class that much....
I like the way that I'm experiencing some little happiness and joy without attachments of being with a guy.....this is so new to me.....
I've been going dancing more than four years now, but I was always so attached to somebody else if he was showing up on the dance floor or not....but now, I can just go and enjoy without that attachment.....this is something that I got to celebrate it....and I'm happy that I'm even able to recognize it....
yesterday was a bit of rocky day for me.....I was so tired and got pissed at a worker in a small local grocerry shop that I usually shop at....he hit me with his heavy cart from back and said sorry and walked away.....I told him, you got to be careful, you could have break my leg really and I can sue your shop....he turned back and told me "it's not my fault that you stepped back!"....oh...how rude they can be sometimes? it really pissed me off....
then I got home, guess what? somebody has parked on my parking spot....noooooo.....I was going around knocking on neighbors' doors....hate to do that....called the owner and she wasn't helpful and pissed me off too....then I found out the new neighbor did it....I was angry and well...she didn't take it well either....she said "it's not your name on it"....how crazy some people are? excuse me, I rented a place with a parking....you got to ask them and find out where your parking is.....she gave me so much attitude to take her car out....I threatened her to tow her car!!!!
but all in all, I was pissed at myself to be so angry like this....I shouldn't have make a big deal out of any of these two incidents and I could take it better....if I was talking to a neighbor nicely, then she wouldn't have let herself to insult me....and I wouldn't have been so angry!
thanks for reading.....

SanitySeeker....be positive about the job.....and let us know soon when you get it....I'll pray for you....and I'm positive about it....

Belle....don't worry about the down times, that's okay....little by little you will get better....and the image of Mark will fade from your mind....

hope to find that special person and that peace and inner happiness
Marjan

by the way....yesterday, my ex-husband sent me a message on my yahoo messenger.....saying "hi...how are you?".....OMG....after three years, he doesn't give up yet.....I didn't answer his last stupid one line email too....and no answer this time either.....thank god I don't have a child with him!
I still can't forget the time that he chose me over money!
just something that I wanted to share with you guys.....

I often have what I can post production blues after I have done something especially intense or busy. That may be what you were feeling Belle after a busy weekend. Very wise move to take the day off to rest up. You are becoming a model of good self care. No surprise you are reeping the benefits.

I actually did the same this afternoon. I came home pretty wasted after the interview and so I just took it slow and easy the rest of the day. Heading off to bed a bit earlier than my usual first attempt. Self care.... the best gift we can give to ourselves.

Marjan sounds like you just had a bad day I have them and all I want to do when I get home is scream F***... that relieves tension haha.

Love your writing Sanity Seeker (especially the quote above!)

Okay I was having a pretty good day.. then out of the blue guess who emails me (marjan you are strong to not reply when your ex gets in touch!!)... he just asked how my weekend was blah blah... i knew that he had been sick last week (very rare for him - usually sick when he is emotionally drained and stressed) so asked if he was okay etc... and how everything was going... got a reply of "ok I guess" and "thanks for caring"...
Don't know how I feel right now... I guess if everything is great with Lisa then I want his answers to be "fantasic/great/brilliant - loving life etc"... after all he made his decision and put me through hell so I want it to be a right decision that he has made... on the flip side I still want to see the relationship fail...

had to get this out there I know that cutting contact would stop these mixed emotions but I really do want to try to be friends with him one day - I feel that by keeping the contact minimal then when I am really ready for friendship then it's easier than trying from the start...

Writing here is like getting rid of the bad I feel 90% better just ranting!

Thanks girls xxx

ARGGG!!! That Mark. He makes me so MAD I could scream. Grow up boy and quit playing games with our precious. What a sorry excuse..... He has every reason to be miserable and if Lisa has any brains she will high tail it away from him before he breaks her heart too. Boo Hoo... give me a break!!

I am sorry Belle. You probably don't appreciate me ragging on Mark like this but seriously the boy needs to grow up. I get that you invested 5 years in a relationship with him and have many wonderful memories and know the good in him and all of that stuff but the more he reveals of himself in how he keeps you hanging on with his woe is me, I am so sad self absorbed dysfunction... well... the more I am glad he is out of your life. He may have been your strength once but going forward he can only steel your strength.

If he is telling you the truth and he is unhappy while still engaged to Lisa or even if he is lying and pretending to be unhappy to spare you (delusional as that may be) the relationship is bound to fail sooner or later. Keep your distance and let it fail without you caught in the fray and pray he learns something about himself so he doesn't grow old playing the same silly games with woman after woman. God forbid any children get caught up in any of this stuff he pulls. No one but Mark can make him happy. We are all responsible and champions of our own happiness. He is chasing windmills and he won't stop until he figures that out.

Okay... I will stop my rant. You may one day be able to be friends with him but from the looks of it that may be a long way off. He has some major work to do first and I don't think you are the friend who is going to be able to help him do the work.

Be strong my friend. Keep writing and getting rid of the bad. I am glad it helps. I hope I haven't over stepped with my reactions. I love you girl.

I should be in bed but I couldn't sleep. I was laying there reading when suddenly I realized I should have writen a thank you note for the job interview. I couldn't stop writing it in my head so I decided to get up and write it so I could stop thinking about it. I put it in a nice card and its ready for me to deliver it first thing in the morning. It means another trip 30 minutes down the road. Dang, I should have thought of it while I was there and dropped it back before I left for home. Oh well... just time and gas money is all. lol.

Thanks Sanity Seeker
I love the part that no one but Mark can make him happy - so much truth in that statement!
I do miss him as a friend and I would like his friendship one day.

A thank you card for the job interview is a nice touch xx fingers crossed you get the job

Interesting..... that is the one line of the whole rant that I really wanted you to hear the most. I know from my own experience that it is a futile attempt to try. I tried with my mom, I tried with my ex and I try with my son. I can't stand seeing someone sad and when I do I have this drive to try to make them happy. People pleasing is deadly. It is self serving if you think about it. Yes we care but we are motivated even more by the way seeing others sad makes us feel. At least that is how I have come to look at it as I attempt to not try to control other people, including their moods.

I delivered the thank you note this morning. The addressee was out of the office so the receptionist put it in her mail box. All the way home I was kicking myself for not asking for the other staff member who was on the panel and given it to her. I asked the receptionist to remind me of the name of the other staffer but didn't think in that moment to ask if she was in. Geesh I can be so stupid sometimes. Also kicking myself for not offering a summary of my strengths for the position when asked at the end of their questions and my questions if I had anything more to add. On the drive home this morning I had the perfect summary going through my head and wished I had thought to do that when I had the chance. Just keep telling myself now that while I can't change the past I can remember to do it next time. Need to keep echoing it or I'll go bonkers with regrets. Seems I forgot all the winning interview lessons I used to teach my students. Geesh!!

Oh well.... onward and upward. Everyday is a new opportunity to try again. I am tired. Only a few hours sleep last night. Will work on a couple of other job applications, spend some time in the garden and clean my oven today. Gotta be productive no matter what.

my dear friend SanitySeeker.....DO NOT be so harsh on yourself....that's okay....I've been in so many interviews in my life and the ones that I felt after interview why I didn't say that or this went well....
We don't know if this job is even good for you.....how do you know that? so, trust that high power, if this is a good job for you, you will get it, if not, you won't....
The job that I got right now, I didn't even send them a thank you letter....I had some that I sent thank you letter and either I got the job or not.....people don't really care about these stuff that much.....
Honesty, I think those bosses who are so stricts care about thank you letter!!!! the good ones, don't care!
Please be easy on yourself and I'm sure whatever is good will happen for you....
take care
Marjan

I know... you are so right. I did finally just give it up to the Creator instead of beating myself up about it. Good point... it may not be the right job for me afterall. It is pretty demanding. And you are right... I hired a lot of people over the years at the college and never once did a thank you note clinch the deal for anyone.

I will hold on to that thought.... whatever is good and right for me will happen.

Thanks Belle.

Hey girls

I didn't end up going to Yoga - my shoulder is sore but now I feel like I missed something that makes me feel whole ... will do a dvd yoga work out tonight if my shoulder feels okay.

Sanity Seeker I am exactly what you say/are... my therapist says that I have to stop pleasing and trying to make everyone around me happy.. it makes me happy when others are - but like you said it's a control thing in a way. I don't like sadness and I try to stop others from affecting how I feel.

Marjan you are insightful - the job may not be the right one for Sanity Seeker. All that matters really is that she got herself out there and to the interview without too much anxiety! So proud of her just for that

I'm going to have a good day.. still thinking about Mark. I don't understand why it can affect my emotions even when I know that I don't want him back. I guess it's more of a time spent together thing - as well as worrying that he's not happy... I just want the truth from him. If he's happy than great, don't make it sound like he's not... if he's not then yes I'll gloat a little because he ran when he should have fought... His loss and his weakness will always be there in his mind.

I have a new project at work, working with my favorite architect - it's going to be fun hard work. He's brilliant to work with and we nut out design issues together - I guess he treats me like and equal and that's why i get along with him so well!

Marjan did you start the acting class yet?

Take care both of you

ya....the whole point is to live in the present moment and not think too much about "should have done" or "could have done".....what has happened in past is gone and the future hasn't arrived yet so why to bother.....
the key is, whenever we are getting trapped in thinking about past or future, we just bring our attention back to the present moment and over time little by little we will get better.....
I still hope that Sanityseeker gets the job, why not? I hope that's the good one and she gets it, but if not, no worry for it, just you can think there is a better job out there for you....and good for you to be out and try....you will get what you want
Belle....I think it's very natural to have all these feelings and thoughts that you have towards Mark....you guys have been together for 5 years and he's the one who left not you....for me and my ex-husband, it was my decision....that's why he keeps trying to contact me and I don't want him.....with Aaron was different.....first couple of times I dumped him then he did his best to get me back and dump me....stupid me to give him that chance, but the girl after me didn't let him to do that to her....I don't know what has happened between them, but she was the one who dumped him and he was so devastated over that.....I know why, because he didn't win the game....he won the game with me and he doesn't care anymore....such a player!
sometimes, I want to email the girl on facebook annonymonstly and tell her some stuff about Aaron or tell her that good for you to dump him and don't get back to him at all, but then I said it's not my business really.....
I'm like you too....I tell myself to not go to the dance class but then yesterday I ended up going there and he was there, but he left early....so not him, very unusual....he tired to say hi to me when I got in, but I was not in the mood at all, I didn't even turn back my head to look at him....but I saw his head on the mirror was following me!
well....I think he has another project....and I know he really wants to get married, but not with me.....and I know I don't want a guy who doesn't give me attention....i want love and attention.....It's just sucks that he was the last guy I've been with.....and honesty, I dont' meet anybody these days....I've been so busy lately.....
probably, I got to get into the online dating again!
ya....I started the acting class and I love it so much....that was my dream always from age 5 to be an actress.....and I think I do it good....my classmates come to me and ask me what I would have done if I had to play their part....I said...why do you ask me? she said because you do it very good....I found out if I don't plan it in my head a head of time, and I just go with my real feelings about the situation in the play, I do it better....
There are just two more classes left and I have to find another one....they are mostly very expensive....hope I can find another good one.....
I also got to find a good place to live.....hope soon....
take care ladies....got to finish my work and go home.....
Marjan

As I have said before, when your friend tells you to come again when you do not have so long to stay, that maybe is a useful clue about how the relationship is going.

The Byzantine - that is food for thought!

Marjan - go for it with the online dating... am trying it myself and it's a great self esteem boost as well as enabling me to think out side the box and met people I normally wouldn't have met.

Ain't that the truth Byz. I think that is what my dad says to himself whenever I visit or call him on the phone. Eeks!! I think that applies to most of my relationships actually. lol. Oh well. Good thing for me I like my own company... most times. lol.

I still occassionally dream of getting my ex back while at the same time I know I am better the way things are now. I think a lot of people like the chase more than the catch. The chase is fantasy, the catch is reality. What we catch isn't always what we thought we were chasing.

I slept for hours and hours last night.... feel lethargic today. I think that is the word I am looking for. Brain fuzz has me feeling emotionally level but mentally zonked. No job stress today so I am grateful for the break. If I think about the interview I flip frop from wanting the job because I need a job and it will pay well and a regular pay check would be nice to not wanting the job because it will be demanding and maybe its too big of a job for me right now and I will need to buy a new car within a few months to maintain the commute so I am not letting myself think about it today. It is out of my hands now so what is the point in fussing over the pros and cons. If and when they offer me the job I will know what to do. If they don't then I will deal with that too.

Some physcial activity should shake me up and get the juices flowing so garden work and that oven I didn't get scrubed the other day is on my to do list. Sent off another resume yesterday. Do the second one this afternoon. Then back to the sewing room and see what I can turn into cash.

Keep smiling ladies.

Oh so true.. the fantasy is much better than the reality

Sanity have a good day working hard in the garden.. it will pick you up and from what I have seen the garden is simply amazing.. can't wait for the full show of colour

I had a good night.. chatting to the friend that came to visit last weekend.. I miss him.. strange seeing Ii hadn't seen him in 15 years before that. he seems to understand me (he had depression for a long time and has finally beat it). I see him as an example of what I can be - totally whole and happy.
Will give the Mark communication a rest for a while.. it drains me in a way I can't explain... I get happy and sad all at the one time and in the end I dream or think of him more than I had.. frustrating. They aren't loving dreams, just confusing thoughts all mashed together.

Stay well and happy all

good to see you girls are doing great.....

Last night, I went hiking....It was St. Patric's day and the 100's hike, such a great combination.....Kevin was there too....interesting....I didn't care if he was talking to any other girls and his presentation wasn't disturbing me at all....he talked to me a little bit, but then I moved away....I don't want to give him any false hope!
It was interesting to me, because I had and have totally different experience with Aaron....Still when I see Aaron, I think I want him to myself and I don't want him to flirt around....does that mean I really like him? should I act on it? I'm just wondering....why don't I have anything for Kevin then?
My noisy friend asked me about it and I told her that I finished it up on Saturday and Kevin took it well....I didn't go into details at all....not in talking about him to them....She asked me if it's okay with me to be friend with him....I said such a question....go ahead! She is so much into my life...like yesterday it came out from my mouth that I want to buy a home, and she bombarded me with questions and trying to convince me that's a stupid idea to buy a home....arggg....give me a break lady....how do you know about my life and finances!!!! she's the same one who was so judgmental when she found out I'm taking acting classes and she makes fun of my salsa dancing....not sure what's going on with her? I would love to put her on her place and stop her from her endless negativity towards my life.....
have a wonderful day
Marjan

Hi Girls, hope you are both well

Sanity let us know the outcome of the interview.. think you will find out soon but not sure about the time difference (one day I'll remember what it is haha)

Marjan... little thought that went through my head - do you want Aaron because you can't/don't have him? If your feelings are strong act on it, life's short. As for the lack of feelings for Kevin.. I think that either you have the feelings or you don't.
The friend that I now no longer speak too (he had feelings for me that I couldn't return) who have been a great life long partner, supportive, loved me to bits and would have been a great father to any kids - the fact that I just couldn't feel anything more than friendship towards him was just how it was... pity but I don't think that those sort of feelings can grow.

I think that if you can buy a house then go for it! I don't know how it is where you live but in Australia it really is better to buy/own than rent and once you have that house you can do anything you like to it, it will be a real home (if that makes sense??). The one thing I wasn't giving up with the split from Mark was my house - I don't want to live there at the moment, so renting it out is okay but I think that one day I will want to move back there and do all the things that I wanted to the house - renovation wise etc.

Your friend sounds like she enjoys putting you down, perhaps it makes her feel better about herself?
If you don't want to lose the friendship is there some way you can tell her gently that you would rather support in the things that you like doing and want to do rather than the negativity that she seems to have towards anything new?

That's my thoughts for the day haha.

I am having a great day so far - usually do as it's Friday here! Not sure what I'm getting up to tonight. Was meant to be seeing Chris but hes sort of gone distant since I didn't see him last weekend - not sure how I feel about it. I could also be reading way too much into it of course!

Have a beautiful day ladies

Hello... just got in from a long walk with Babba the jack russell. We both really really needed it. It was nice to explore the forest and see all the fresh new green growth on the ground. No triliums yet but soon I suspect.

Had a bit of a meltdown day yesterday fussing about this silly job business. Been gettig great support on the thread I started before the monday interview. Hate it when I cycle out of control on a dime. Makes me feel so fragile and that opens me up for feeling discouraged and hopeless. Feeling better today even though I didn't sleep. Maybe tonight will be better since it has been a more relaxing day.

Glad to hear you guys are doing well and keeping busy. I am doing my best to stop the pattern of isolation and with the change of seasons it is easier every day to get out and about. Trying to get myself to call at least one friend every couple of days or so just to be connected outside my own little world.

I will find out if they are going to offer me the job tomorrow. That will be Friday here Belle. You are 18 hours ahead of me. I think. lol. It was 4:30 my time when you last posted.

I don't really know how I feel about the job right now. Not been letting myself think about it today. I will know when the time comes what to do or say if they do call. If they don't call I think I might feel relieved that the decision was out of my hands. I may be more desperate for money than I am ready to work outside the home again. Just not clear about what is unfounded fear and what may be justified caution. Just not sure right now so glad I don't have to make any decisions about anything. Going with the flow is more relaxing.

thanks Belle....I don't see any reasons to tell my girlfriend anything...she has just a big mouth and talks too much.....
well...her husband of 17 years has cheated on her (based on the info she gives us, honesty, I'm not sure how true it is), now, she's out of job and I think she looks at me as a foreigner at her country having a good job....I lost my job a year ago, but I got a new one within a week, this was the same time that she lost her job....but I have two degrees while she has none! I think the problem is that she would never consider all those time that I studied so hard....It's so hard for me when she puts me down and I hated when she asked me how much is my budget to buy a home.....I shouldn't have answered her, but well....I did!!!!
About Aaron, I do have feelings for him...yes, I do....but I'm afraid of him, I'm afraid he's turning me down or even worse than that I'm afraid of him hurting me again....Also, he does have STD which I don't want to catch.....I think I'm better off from him....
I don't think I liked Kevin at all! Usually, when I break up with a guy, I get hesitated, but that doesn't apply to Kevin.....I really didn't feel that Chemistry, I liked his look stuff, but then I didn't like the kissing at all....arggg....this guy looks like a virgin! At top of that, he wasn't open to tell me about himself, and I'm so honest and open.....I don't feel a friendship with such a person....last night, he was trying to make friendship with my friends...and the same girl I told you about, was inviting him to this weekend camping which I'm not going.....such a *****....she's so older than us like 10 yeas older or so, why does she want to make friendship with Kevin....and she was the one who keeps telling me "oh, I don't think Kevin has anything down there!!!! I thought you wanted him just temporary"....she gets on my nerve badly, she thinks she knows a lot....
but what can I do? I'm new here and not that many friends around....got to stick with them some how.....
thanks for reading
I get off from work now and go to GYM!
Marjan

sometimes, I don't know where to go, what to do....just want to rant....
It's my new year tomorrow and now, my sister the only person I have here in LA is mad at me.....for what? just last week I said "oh I have a class on new year!"....
sometimes, I feel like a lemon that everybody is squeezing me....
She has so much hard time in her life and now she found me to put all her stress on my shoulder....I can't even get it....can't deal with her attitudes and bitterness....
Not sure what to do now? I'm all alone in new year and she's alone too!
sorry for ranting!