The number One, Hot botten trigger issue! SEX!

Lets talk about sex and how it effects us. Like it ,love it, hate it? Is it an evil sin or a miracle from God. Can sex be away of getting closer to your spiritual side or does it hinder your spirituality? Maybe you care less about it and find it boring. So what do you think about sex?

It's a basic human need....and it can be fantastic....but like anything else...it's how you use it....or abuse it.....Within the context of a good relationship, there is not much that is better....but when things aren't healthy, it can be a very poisonous force

I'm sure anyone who has been sexually abused, don't care to discuss that, and may take a lot of time, therapy also to survive the nightmare.
Being middleaged, a life of stress, etc. I can do without and it doesn't even bother me.
There is more to life than just sex, even though it is a biological and evolutionary thing our brains have been wired for.
For those that enjoy and/or need it, that's fine, but always be sure to engage in safe sex, protect yourself and/or consenting partner from Aids,STD's and unwanted pregnancies.
Take care now,
DE

it's a beautiful, soulful experience when with the right person. that's what i tell my daughters. that's what i stand by.

kd

Key word "right" person, and may I add when they both feel it is the "right" time included

DE

I hate sex. I never want anything to do with it again. I feel violated when guys "check me out". I am really happier living with out

Kathie I agree with you,I personally don't care for it either, and I have grown comfortable to admit it. I guess it is one of my hangups as the several I have.
Take care,
DE

I was sexually abused at an early age, but I have come a long way. For me it depends on my mood. If manic than I can't get enough. If I am depressed or or even just evened out it is not something I like very much.

Okay....sex can be wonderful...with the right person.
This last relationship showed me at age 54 that I am still capable of passion and sexual attraction. But I can't separate the physical from the emotional. During my last physical experience with the man who rejected me, while still in bed with him, I told him I felt "love," to which he replied, "Well, maybe you just like me." Damn! I felt what I felt. After we dressed, and I was getting ready to go, he told me point blank that he was "not in love" with me, at which I cried repeatedlly. I am still wondering how someone with whom I felt such chemistry, to whom I felt so attracted physically and intellectually, could have felt nothing! In the longrun, my feelings didn't matter, despite the awsome sex. I've never reached climax easily, but I did with him, and, at my age, it was very addicting and intoxicating. It's been two months now, and I have to let it go, but I have to admit, it has been like a death for me, going thru the stages of grief bigtime. Driving back from my classes today, I was wondering if I will ever open myself up like that again, emotionally and physically. I doubt I will.
Seeker

i have sexual intimacy probs because of past sexual assaults. i'd be happy to never to have sex again. but, i'm married and the contract basically says that sex is required, right? i'm stuck.

I miss it. Damn, do I miss it.

I'll probably never experience it again, since I feel like I'm too broken emotionally, and because my self esteem is too low to even make new friends.

Wondering if you are talking about the sexual act, or the act of true love? IMO there is a big difference.

Good sex is wonderful. And I miss it. It bonds a couple and creates an intimacy that I really enjoyed. My most memorable experience was with a man that I dated for three years in NM. We were both 48 and thought it had passed us by. Praise be, it hadn't!!

Okay...YEAH!!, Sky....that's the thing I mentioned!
I can do without the act of sex if it is just a physical thing. Sex is for me an expression of intimacy and love!
Seeker

There is an old saying. Men need sex to feel loved Woman need feel love to have sex.
Sky it is whatever you want it to be.

i'm with sky....the subject we're discussing is very much debatable....depending on the context...is this just a physical discussion or an emotional one...THAT IS WHAT WOMEN WANT!

I have been sexually abused BIG time when I was younger.........was very sexually active as a teenager, it was more of a power thing then enjoying........then got married and had 3 kids but now kids are older and I am older and in Therapy for my past issues and I have not had sex with my hubby for 2 years now......shhhhh do not come down on me please...........he is ok with it and we are putting it on hold to grow a healthier relationship...........we had one built on sex nothing more and now we are in Therapy to learn something new and this is HARD work....
sorry for rambling

SEX? What's that? It feel like it's been ages since my last encounter (my ex BF) but that was one aspect of our relationship where we both felt totally connected to one another. It was other factors that soured the realtionship, but now, 4 months later (we are reconciling), we are slowly dealing with those issues - WITHOUT SEX - and things are getting better. But do I EVER miss it every so often

Dolfin

I did not start this thread to upset anyone. that is why i titled as i did. This is a hot btton topic. but one i feel the need to address. I don't think you can ever separate the emotional from the Physical. even if you say you are the emotional comes into play.
I guess I should not be surprised by those reporting to have been abused. I find any kind of abuse to be horrible.
If you are in a long term relationship and you are not enjoying or even abstaining from sex how are you and your partner dealing with that?
the last few years of my marriage was pretty much sexless. It was very hard on me and i suppressed my sex drive. It wasn't easy to be faithful. Now that i am signal I try to be right up front with woman that I date. I don't want to be in a sexless relationship. from my limited knowledge mid life woman seem to go in two different directions when it comes to sex. they become either very sexual or give up on sex . i make no judgment here. i just feel that in order fora relationship to work both should be on the same page when it comes to making love. I believe the physical act should be one more thing that bonds a relationship. together. It isn't the only thing to base a relationship on. I have to have the spiritual and The Emotional. With those the physical is about 1000 better.

Well, damn! I was sexually awakened after three years of nary a sexual thought! My endearments met with silence, wanting to cuddle, met with retreat. That's enough to turn any woman off to sex at my age!
Seeker

Yes i can see that. One bad encouter should not end everything. 54 is still young. Isn't 50 the new 30? I am felling better then I have in years. yes my heart is hurting but over all I feel great.
seeker what is your art?

I was a painter for many years, but since returning to WV and taking a teaching job, I have been producing and selling art on rocks...yes, rocks!!!. I currently sell in galleries and on Ebay under the seller name, "Artrox." Since I am enrolled in art classes, my emphasis in grad study will be in Fiber Arts, however.
What is your art, Artist?
Seeker

i am a painter ex poling the soul of the Land. Sound impressive ? Not really. I try to capture the feel of the land ,the spirit of the Land more then what is in front of me. I have also recently like in the past few days come up with an idea to produce some 3 d work based on using recycled lumber. the finished work would not be ' junk art" but rather some suffocated shapes using what normally would be waist. think shapes like what Calder would produce or Miro. Maybe even Henry Moore. i am finding a kinship to the early Moderns My art of all has to do with Native American beliefs some Eastern thought and my own search for God.

I like the prehistoric and Native American themes and have done that for a number of years on my "Artrox," and recently incorporated it into my ceramics class. I love mixed media and I think the idea of using waste products is intrigueing. I often recycle in my art teaching. Calder and Miro!!! You go, fella!
Seeker

I have Hopi friend. He is singer The best way to describe a singer is like a lay minister in a church. Dan has for some time now worked on a theme of Our common tribal heritage. He has gone beyond the works of his culture and into the work of people from Siberia, The sammi people from Finland and African art. May this should be moved to The creative forum. i'll start something there.