The store never ends :(

If you guys end up living together, he will just keep holding stuff over your head. He could even make stuff up like you cheated on him when you didn't and say he doesn't believe you. This happened to my sister...he kicked her out in the middle of winter. I hope you come to relise this guy needs help.

Yes belle he should love me by the way i am. I cant even go out with my sis or mom to the stores or somewhere cause he's thinking ill be doin something wrong when im not. If i go somewhere i feel guilty . Im so happy that i can share my feeling with you cause i dont tell my fam or friend what im going thru. Thank you all for your support and advice.

Isadora, him not letting you go with your mom and your sis is him isolating you from your support. Once they do that, they can get away with what they want. In my siggy line is the national domestic violence hotline. You can call them even if you are not in crisis just to get information for yourself on how these people convince you to stay until you can't get out. Once you live together they check computer useage, phone records and start keeping tabs on where you go and with whom. Please do not let him do these things to you. The only way my sister got out was through a si attempt. He tried to stop us from seeing her. We were lucky because I was listed as next of kin...she wanted out. Please get away from this guy and to safety. At least call the hotline and ask about their patterns. They are not very immaginative people. I hope you find a way out. You deserve so much better. Safe hugs to ya, NF

Thank you so much. He says that he gets his stress because of me. I feel so sad cause i cant talk to my family about this cause they wouldnt understand me and they wouldnt care about it. And sometimes i need i friend to talk to share my feeling my pain. Sometime i have to hide the tears so my fam cant see them. I cry almost every night.

You need support. You need people who accept who you are. He is now blaming you for his stress. That means he is not willing to take responsibility for his own issues. Pretty soon everything that goes wrong becomes your fault. It is not. Are you getting any of this? There will be lots of hoops to jump through...just to many to count. Maybe one day there will be bruises and he will say to you "look what you made me do". Many people on this board know someone like this. Fear will become more and more your companion and love will be a fleeting memory. Please get help now.

Yeah i need help thank you for all your support NF

I have a feeling I wasn't any help at all. I am so sorry you are having these troubles in your relationship. I think I just made you feel scared and defensive. I am new to being emotionally supportive and am still so ackward at it. Please forgive me.

NF I think everything you wrote is helpful and true, that is being emoionally supportive

Isadora, one thing that you must remember is that we are always here for you.. write as much as you want and I'll respond as much as I can.

If he is going to be your 'life partner' he has to accept who you are, love everything about you, over look any faults (or find them endearing LOL) and he can't restrict who you spend time with. Don't feel guilty for spending time with your family... it's pulling you apart in two directions and you will end up burning yourself out.

The only person you are capable of making 100% happy and content is yourself xxoo

Thanks belle i know i can tell you guys what im going thru. And NF all those things you told me are very helpful and i thank u so much please dont be sorry im happy that you and everybody else took time to read my post and give me good advice. Hugs for everyone im feeling a little better.

I'm glad you are feeling better xx

I am glad to know you know we are here to help. You deserve good and trusting people in your life. To be with people who make you blossom and be able to share your precious gifts with anyone who needs them. safe hugs!

Thanks Belle and NF im glad i join PC i know i can trust you guys and i know you guys are here to help me. Hugs for both of you guys take care

hun... everyone stares. i use to get all vexed when my bf stares at another female but then when i thought it over i realized that she or the others were very attractive and i couldn't help admiring them too and as for men i stare a lot too and my bf would just laugh and shrug it off. i think he's the one that have issues.. not you girlie.

I agree with you its ok to stare maybe when im not around with him he stare at girls who knows. I do my best not to stare at the people cause then he might be thinking that ill be checking out guys and im not :'(

isadora, why do you cry almost every night? If your friend is so good to you, why the tears?

He has invited you to tell him what you would like him to change. Please, isadora, make a list of things that you would like to see changed. He has no reason not to trust you. Or to tell you what to wear. Or to say who you can talk to and visit with.

I say this somewhat facetiously, but I think it would be great if you told him he could not wear tight pants when in the company of women. Or ogle the pretty girls. Or talk to any other girls without your permission and only when you are present. Or to talk to his family or friends. AND, HE has to prove to you he is not cheating and will not ever even think about it because you do not trust him.

You, of course may have additional things you might want him to change.

Without a doubt what your friend is doing is soul murder: The deliberate attempt to eradicate or compromise the separate identity of another person. He can say he loves you forever but he treats you like a puppet on a string -- to be tugged and pulled at his whim.

isadora, I apologize if anything I said offends you. Even so, I am so concerned about how he treats you. You deserve better.

Well i cry most of the nights cause i feel like i cant run up to my mom and start crying. You know last night i told my boyfriend all the problem and he told me that he will trust me and show him that i want to be with him. I told him i was sick and tired of the same things that ill be talking to someone else when im not. And your right i have to make a list of the things i want him to change. And dont worry you didnt offend me im glad that you guys are giving me great advice thank you all

We are always here. If your boyfriend is sincere, I wish you both luck. I would still look for red flags...he now knows how desperately you feel you need him in your life. This gives him a lot of power over you. If he is real, he will not tale advantage of that fact. Please keep posting and keep us up to date.

I hope it turns out for the best isadora.. you deserve only wonderful things in your life xx
Let us know how it all goes.

I was reading the responses to your posts and this one made me want to reply. I have been there, isadora. Do not go down that road. You will always feel guilty. You will feel guilty even if you eat out at a resturaunt and he eats at home. You will feel guilty because you want to take a nice bath and he has to sit alone in the t.v. room. You will never stop feeling that way. And I am telling you from experiance that it is a horrible way to live. You end up not wanting to go out with your family & your friendships with other people will cease and you will feel so isolated. It sucks, isadora. I know right now it seems like you can't live without him and you will think about all the good things about him. But once you leave and get out in the world you will remember more of the bad things and less of the good. And with all this guilt you will have depression and awful anxiety. It's horrible. Listen to what the people on here are saying. They are making very good points.

NF and BELLE ill keep you guys updated. And thunderbear your right sometime i feel that way, and we both talk about this and he said its fine if i go out with my family we have talk about my problem and i have a feeling that he is understanding what i been going thru. I think its working

((((( isadora )))))

I have hope that he will start trusting me. I hope it goes well

I just want to send hugs your way isadora
and hope things will be better
I came across a book that seems like a good one to read, and I think it might help you
Loving Him without Losing You: How to stop disappearing and Start being yourself by Beverly Engel
It should be avail to check out in your local library.
I really hope you will find peace and happiness

Thank you i have to check that book and read it and hope eveything starts getting better..

Just checking in. How is everything going? Hope he is treating you tons better!