I found a consultation lawyer.Not even going to tell anyone what happened last night.I see him tomorrow.I am pretty much in my camper,unless the house is empty.It's looking alot like a womans shelter for the guidance part,unless I think of something else.I have my truck and camper,so I won't need to live inside there which is good because people make me nervous.They said they can do counseling and help me figure things out as far as the law.I can always park my truck at a truck stop which has showers(I'll bring bleach for the shower and leave flip-flops on my feet).I have a stove,oven,microwave,and fridge in the camper,and it sleeps 5 ,with a dinette.I will have my comp with me,I heard that there's places you can park near-to where I can get a signal to the computer.If that's the case I can get on whenever and won't have much else to do besides writing and painting in there.So I will likely be on.I want to thank everyone who's been so supportive from the bottom of my heart.I have to pack tomorrow,and hopefully I'm not such an idiot that I will know what all to bring with me.I have no clue what I am doing,with regard to how I need to handle this.But I just can't keep doing this.I probably slept 4 hours and it gives me a sick feeling all around when I dont get to sleep,it makes feel manic .I can't think right this way.God,I wish my mom was still here...I'd be less nervous if I could take care of her and clean for her.Cause I know my mind is going to be spinning without being very busy.I'll bring books.(Sorry ranting and just nervous)Wolf ~ I'll just chill for today,and keep peace,since my son is here.Nothing really happens in the day time.And the heater is working in the camper.

[Larfu]

Originally Posted by wolfsong

I found a consultation lawyer.Not even going to tell anyone what happened last night.I see him tomorrow.I am pretty much in my camper,unless the house is empty.It's looking alot like a womans shelter for the guidance part,unless I think of something else.I have my truck and camper,so I won't need to live inside there which is good because people make me nervous.They said they can do counseling and help me figure things out as far as the law.I can always park my truck at a truck stop which has showers(I'll bring bleach for the shower and leave flip-flops on my feet).I have a stove,oven,microwave,and fridge in the camper,and it sleeps 5 ,with a dinette.I will have my comp with me,I heard that there's places you can park near-to where I can get a signal to the computer.If that's the case I can get on whenever and won't have much else to do besides writing and painting in there.So I will likely be on.I want to thank everyone who's been so supportive from the bottom of my heart.I have to pack tomorrow,and hopefully I'm not such an idiot that I will know what all to bring with me.I have no clue what I am doing,with regard to how I need to handle this.But I just can't keep doing this.I probably slept 4 hours and it gives me a sick feeling all around when I dont get to sleep.I can't think right this way.God,I wish my mom was still here...I'd be less nervous if I could take care of her and clean for her.Cause I know my mind is going to be spinning without being very busy.I'll bring books.(Sorry ranting and just nervous)Wolf ~ I'll just chill for today,and keep peace,since my son is here.

I'm really glad to hear you have an appointment to go see someone and talk about what you need to do to get out of that situation. This is uplifting news. Think of this as your first concrete step towards a new direction in life. At least, that's how I felt when I went through something similar. I wish you the very best, and please do keep us posted. I can't speak for everyone, but I really care what happens to you. Be safe, my dear.

[violetmoons]

Sorry wolf,can you accept my friend request?I'm not sure you saw it?Do you have yahoo?I want to talk to you please.

I did accept violet,thank you for the request.Yes it is fine to p.m me hun.~W~

Thank you so much Larfu.I feel much gratitude for your kindness and warmth.~WO.olf

[KathyM]

(((Wolfsong))) I hope and pray you'll get the help you need. Like me, you already have a lot of experience with swirling heads. Do what you can to stay in the moment, place one foot in front of the other at your own pace, and remember to breathe.

When it becomes overwhelming for you, I hope and pray you'll be able to find an internet connection - so that you can SCREAM with people you trust and those who understand what you're going through.

In the meantime, good luck with your appointment - and we'll be right there alongside you out there on the road.

Thank you Kathy for hoping and praying on my behalf."Where two or more stand together...there I am".Thank you for the hugs,for hearing me,the wishes of luck,and being there with me.WO.olf

~Larfu~I do believe you care,I appreciate the warmth you bring....I agree...a first step...those are scary ones,yes?~WO.olf~

[thine_self_untrue]

Good for you, wolfsong! May this be one step towards a better life for you!

[sundog]

(((((((((((wolfie))))))))))))))) I'm so glad to hear you are taking this step to keep yourself safe. You are very courageous! And you are absolutely doing the right thing. I'm sending you much love and all good wishes for a productive meeting tomorrow with the lawyer

Sending all positive vibes your way wolfsong....
I know you can do this! you are doing great already!

((((Thine)))I hope so too.I have no clue what to expect.I feel scared and doomed.I am wondering whats worse.At least I know the dangers here.
___________________________________________
(((((Thank you Sun.)))))For the love and good wishes.
___________________________________________
Thank you Moonbeam,I appreciate that!

[Nola22]

(((((((((((wolfsong)))))))))))

You can do this, wolf--good for you that you've made the appointment with a lawyer. That's a big step and it requires immense courage and fortitude. I hope the appointment is productive, informative, and stress-relieving. Yeah, that last one doesn't sound right considering the circumstances, but I'd like for you to walk out of that office feeling your load has been lightened somewhat, and the future has a bit more sparkle to it.

Take care while you're on the road. Eat healthy meals and try to truly enjoy them. Allow yourself to stop to admire and take in beautiful spots as you go along. And please, keep us informed.

Wishing you all the best, wolfsong. You're in my thoughts.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Good job! I'm proud of you! Keep us posted and stay safe!

[KathyM]

In case you're in need of some music (and like drums), Phil Collins has been in the news recently. This song helped me a LOT back in the day when I needed to "let go" without losing balance (poor guy sacrificed a lot to keep me on track - thanks, Phil).

Nola,Thank you for encouraging me.I am scared sh it less.........Wondering if I am misjudging all of this.I have no faith in my judgement....or sense of reality.Nor do I know that I can function out there.Thank you for supporting me.

Kathy,Bit chen....I love Mr.Phil...lol.He does no wrong lol.I will get a copy and return to this.Thank you for the link.((((Ms.Kathy))))

CSC......I shall....you too.I've not gone as of yet.

~W~

[mgran]

Wolfsong, I am SO proud of you for getting out of the horrible situation you were in. I know how hard this was for you, on so many levels... I wish I could do anything to help you, but all I can say is this... stay strong. You're wonderful. So many people would take abuse, would give in and crumble, but you've kept your identity all these years when you've been treated badly, and found the courage to step out from under the shadow of abuse. Really... I think you're wonderful.

I'm sure everyone else agrees with me, just... congratulations. ((((hug)))

Update:
I went to the consult.Just the consult was 250.00.
File to finish is 200 -500 $ depending.Could be more.
If uncontested...and if we sat and agreed to terms LegalZoom can do a 'no-fault'.

Or....I can go to court house...and represent myself with assist of facilitators offices within courthouse.(self-represent)

In any case,I am advised to gather W-2 forms,they'd freeze bank accts.,inquire as to pension plan,savings,401k,tax returns,split of assets...anything of value over 100 $

I was told that,In the figuring of alimony,they consider:
length of marriage
standard of living
our employability
what the alimony payee spouse contributed to payers education or career
length of marriage

As well....

court can designate a time length of time to spouse to become self-supporting,as well as extend it

A written agreement between us can end alimony

otherwise it ends when payee dies or remarries.

ughhh....I can see how it'd be easy to make me not be an alimony recipient

I'd be safer to just live in the back house which he turned into a shed.I can lock it.It had a bathroom,is insulated....and has a sink...I am panicking.

I think that the less he resents me...the less nasty this can get.

The less money it costs him....the less he'd resent me.

Plus,who am I kidding?I can't be around other people.It kills me.I am a 2 or 3 person sort of soul IRL.

Where will I go?

Ranting I know.~
....watch...my freaking personality will be in a different mode w/in 20 minutes.I dunno my issue.

~W~

Thanks MGran...it's still hard hahaha....I feel like I am one of the women who harm men.What a nightmare.

Relax....you just had the meeting...let this all sink in. You don't have to decide this instant. Get your mind around all of this, maybe make a list of pros and cons of all of the things and go from there.
One step at a time. You can do this.

[sundog]

((((((Wolfie)))))) That's a lot of information to digest. I agree with jadedmoonbeam, take some time to reflect on what the lawyer said. I'm glad you got through the meeting ok. Well done!

I'm so sorry for the stress you are going through ((((((((wolfie)))))))). I'm rooting for you!!

[Gilead]

Wolfsong,

I've been thinking about you a lot over the past week or so. I know you'll see your way through this and you'll do what is best for you - just you this time.

I like everyone else here is behind you no matter what.



<------- Me.....usually just a tad confused

....but I try to be cool about it...

[danvb]

Dear Wolfie...

Hang in there! You're doing the right thing... even if you aren't really clear on that right now. Just remember, there is a valid reason for your taking the courageous steps you've finally decided to take. Even though it can be a very frightening thing to do, please don't lose site of the fact that what you are doing is the right thing to do and is in your own best interest. I know you can do this thing. You are in the footsteps of other women that were just as frightened and confused and uncertain as you are right now... Yet they still managed to find their way through it all so they could begin to build a new life. You can and will too...

We are ALL behind you... and will support you in any way we can.
Hold your head high. You are an amazing and courageous woman...

And that is a fact...

...even if you aren't fully aware of it yet.

I wish you the very best things that this life has to offer,

Dan

Thank you Jaded moonbeam,sundog,Gilead and danvb,I don't know what I'll do.I really have issues with women hurting men...even if my perspective is bad.The public humiliation of me divorcing him...him being monetarily faulted,and he doesn't even know he has done anything wrong.Despite me explaining everything...he has reasoning for everything.I just am going to create a separate reality in my head so I can handle my situation as it stands.I explain in my thread Dread,panic,or anxiety.But from this point,I have to flip a switch in my head.Or I am going to absolutely go insane.

[Gilead]

Women hurting men. Men hurting women. An ageless dance. You have to go beyond the immediate and look further into future and see yourself being happy and see what is surrounding you to make it so.

It's hard for me to see myself as happy. It's probably just as hard for you. The difference I think is the person that created so much unhappiness for me is long gone - although she still rears her ugly head now and then, I don't have to live with it everyday.

Please be careful flipping the switch and creating the separate reality.

Stay in touch so we know you're ok.