Should I trust him or not?

I started talking to a old friend of mind from high school. I had a fun talk with him. We talked about a lot of things. It was like the good old day when we were young. The main thing we talk about was all the mean things that he did to me. (He would lied to me, talk bad things behind my back, get mad at me for no reason, get his at the time girlfriends mad at me for no reasons, and played with my feelings to many times.) He said to me that he was very sorry for all the bad things that he did to me. And he would like to start a new friendship with me now and make everything up to me. I really want to trust him but I really don't know if I can. My question is what should I do? Should I start new and pit the past in the past.

One more thing, when I was younger I used to like him a lot. And he knew that I did. That what makes thing so confusing for me. I do not want to get hurt again by him.

How many years ago was high school? Why is he available now, or is he just looking for something on the side? How did you run into each other? I'm sorry, I sound so suspicious! Good luck!

Hi ! I would hope that this guy has grown up since high school. Since he realizes he was cruel back then, I think you could probably trust him. It shouldn't take very long to find out one way or the other. If he starts in with the same stuff he used to do, dump him. LOL

Best of luck and I hope this turns out well. God bless Hugs, Lee

Sometimes ppl act like jerks when they are young but doesnt necessarily mean they wouldnt do that when they grow up. Dont count on his 'friendship' until he proves himself trustworthy. Occasional contact would be fine i guess.

To answer all the questions you guys asked.
High school was 4/5 years ago. But I talked to him a little bit in college online, here and there. The last time I talked to him was about 3 years ago. And the reason for that was we were so busy with our own lives that time, that we didn't really have no time for each other. Now we both have some free time to talk and hang out. I don't know the main reason why he want to start talking and hanging out now. But he did say that it would be nice for us to started talking again. I don't think he wants anything on the side. And to be fair I was the one that made contact first. All he did was reply back by a text message. He does not have girlfriend but does have a child. But I knew that before and okay with it.
And he did say that he was a different person now. So who knows?

Be careful dear. Protect your heart. Just in case...

I would be very leery if he has a child.....what did he learn from that? or does he still just go around & have sex with girls & leave them with what ever happens. Some guys learn when they are not smart with their actions & others just really don't care.

Before I ever got involved with him, I would definitely want to know what his moral values were all about & wouldn't waste my time on him if he hadn't changed & was that careless with another girl even if he thought he "loved" her. The thing is that when you just start talking with people, that is where an emotional attachment starts....feeling sorry for him & what happened in his life or whatever he might play on.....just tends to suck people into even more of a relationship before you even know it.

Be wise, with your past experience with him, even if he says he's a different person....you need to know what that difference REALLY is....it could be that he's even changed for the worse, not for the better in ways that are even more important to a relationship.

Yes, this may not be the case, & he may have really learned from his bad choices, but it's much better to be safe than sorry & make sure you know where the person is coming from before allowing yourself to even get a little involved as a friend. If he wasn't wise enough to NOT have a child with another girl......I would advise you to really get to know what wisdom he has NOW before allowing yourself to get involved even at a friendship level.

I'd say go for it, if he starts his old nonsense just break it off.

Is he now a responsible father? If he isn't fathering the child he already has I wouldn't expect him to be a good father if you and he married and had children. Just my opinion........

Listen to your gut and dont second guess it. We may want to believe that people change but regardless listen to your gut.
This is a great quote:
"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

I think you would doubt him all the time because of the past. He burned his bridge years ago. If he has a child and not with the child's mother than he probably was doing the same things to her. I'm sure he sees it differently. My ex (we have a daughter together) has never changed. I think he's actually bipolar himself. I've seen him go through two more girlfriends since me in the last 4 years. He can put on a great show in the beginning, just like he did for me. I'm sure he blames all the problems on me as to why we are not together. He also only dates nice, decent girls who eventually realize how he really is and they go running for the hills. There are men out there who are stand up guys and have never played games with anyone at any age. Spend your time trying to find one of them

I just want to say thank you for your help. This past weekend my friend and I want on are first date. I had a great time with him. We both care a lot about each other that we both want to take things slow. I'm happy for that because I really do not want to loss him as a friend. I know that he is some what hurting from his past. I want to show him that it is okay to trust in me. That I will not hurt him. He said that he was sorry for everything that he has ever did bad to me. And that he wish that I was his girlfriend along time ago. But I think that things happen for a reason and it makes waiting for us to be together just as better.
Now ask all of you to help me. How should I deal with things. I mean in what way should I take things slow?

I think you should go for it. The past is the past and maybe he's right, it's possible that he's changed. Try talking with him for a while, and if you're still having negative feelings about him and are still dwelling on his past actions, then maybe it's for the best that you two don't communicate. I wish you luck, though! Like LoveHopeStrength14 says, Listen to your gut!!

Go on several dates, and stay within the 'kissing, holding hands, hugging' zone until your feelings develop even further and you're comfortable with him. Get to know him more by spending time talking to him. Text if you can. Just don't overdo it. You shouldn't be the one that always texts and calls you. He should reciprocate and initiate conversations.

Be flirty and have fun. Since this is so early in the relationship there is no guarantee it will last but it is worth a try, right?

If he really likes you like you say, he will be fine with taking his time to get to know you better. Neither of you guys are the exact same person that you were in high school and people change the most throughout their 20's.

I just don't get it. Last weekend went great for us and now I feel like something is off. This week, we hardly talk to one another. I get that he is really busy and has a lot to deal with. It just the fact that my friend say to me a lot that he will call me when he has free time. But he never call me or he text me back. And when he does, he say that he is sorry but have no time to. I not mad at him but just a little upset that he can't keep his word. Because he has been doing or say this to me all week long. I'm starting to think that we many not very get together or anything. Like he might not be all that in to me. But I really don't know what to think. I'm not his girlfriend, so I really can't say anything, I think. Do I have a right to get some what mad at him for not keeping his word. What should I do or say? Or should I do nothing?

I don't know what to think now. On Tuesday I stay the night at my friend's place because it was really to late to be out. We watch movies and TV all night long. I had a really fun time with him and he had fun too. I did not hear from him all weekend long. I tried to texting him but my phone was acting up. My phone works now and I got a late text from him saying that he just want to be friends. When reading the the text, I was mad and sad at the same time. I do not get were this is coming from. I know that me staying over and doing other things with him makes it look like we are moving to fast. But I thought we were on the same page.
He was the one that wanted me to stay the night with him. And I asked him many time "Is this what you rally want?" He said that he was Okay with everything. That why I'm sad and mad. I had a funny feeling about this person, I knew it. He is starting his old ways again. I told him not to play with my feelings. He was the one that said "I love you" first, not me. He was the one that said he want to be together, not me. That why I'm sad and mad. I don't how to handle this because I don't think I did anything wrong or going to fast on my part.
And the thing that get me the most is the "we can be just friends" part. He wants to build up to something more. If it meant to be then we should do it right way. How is just being friends? Just be friends is not wanting something more out of it. We can take things slow and see what will happen but thats not the same as be just friends.
One more thing, He called me around 7pm, ask if I want to hang out with him tonight. I'm like okay because I want to know what is up with him. By him calling me makes it hard for me to know what to do. I don't know what he really wants. He is sending me two different message. And I hate that really bad. The really sad part is I rally do care and like him a lot.
What should I do? Should I say what is on my mind or not? Should I let him be and let him do is own thing? Should I give him what he is asking for?

Afterrain, he's a player. if somebody calls me at 7pm, they do not get an answer, I am already busy, I have already planned my evening. this man is not treating you with respect. why are you falling for his lines? why are you believing him when everything so far has turned out the opposite of what he said, and of what you wanted? go get the morning after pill, hopefully it's not too late, and erase his number from your phone. or better yet, do like I do and program his name as "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "HANG UP IMMEDIATELY!" then just follow the instructions on your phone next time he calls or texts.

Being that you said you have feelings for him and he's giving you mixed signals and/or wants to be friends I'd say bail now. There's something wrong with this guy. I've been through something similar, he said I love you first etc, gave a lot of mixed signals, then hurt me pretty bad. Don't fall for this crap, it wil not end well for you. Stop all contact with this guy and Move on before you are in deeper and get more hurt than you are now. What he wants doesn't matter, you matter. You'll find someone better.

A guy who just wants to be friends doesn't bring the "I love you" into the picture unless he's playing with your emotions.

You needed to be wise enough to NOT have stayed over that night no matter what the excuse was & you needed to be WISE enough to have not done anything with him no matter what his lead was. You needed to keep your distance & observe him & his actions....you allowed yourself to get involved even though you thought you were taking it slow.....it's obvious by your actions & your thoughts....you WEREN'T.

You need to NOT get involved with this guy no matter what lines he gives you. It's obvious by his words & his actions that he's only after one thing & that is not to just be friends with you, but wants other benefits that aren't part of being friends. He got one girl pregnant & had a child......do you want to be the next? If not.....drop him & don't look back EVER. The bottom like is that you can choose to be wise with your life or not.....but when we aren't wise, there are normally regrets. Choose to be wise & NOT LISTEN TO YOUR EMOTIONS....then never lead to a wise decision without a good heavy dose of the rational mind's thinking & listening to their warnings.

You are seeing the red flags.....don't ignore them & for heaven sake...don't listen to his lines let alone fall for them the way you have. Get out now & dump him forever & don't even deal with the "I want to be friends" crap either. It's obvious that his idea of being a friend has NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING REAL FRIENDS.

Awww...Im sorry to hear...

I agree with the previous people who commented here, you need to leave this guy The longer that you remain "friends", (like the more you text him, and remain to have contact with him), the more pain you are causing yourself in the long end...

I don't get my friend. All this week my friend was texting me every day and he ask me to hang out with him soon. Why now does he want to hang out with me? What should I do?

i think you were really kind to give him a second chance. he seems to be playing with your emotions though so i'd stay as far away from him as possible. i know that is really hard when you like the guy but it really looks like you're just going to get hurt by him again and again if you let him in your life.

Give him the boot. You deserve better.

I took some advices and try to end it with my friend. But it is sad on how everything that went down. You all know that my friend was texting me a lot this past week, by my last post. Please remember this fact; he texted me, saying that he wanted to hang out sometime. I was like ok I’m free this weekend. He said that he might be busy this weekend. I said whatever to him (knowing that we were never going to hang out). He text lol to me and was saying that was funny to him that I text whatever to him. I did not say anything back to him. But this little chat really opened my eyes.

I had been thinking a lot about what was going between me and my friend. It made me so sick to know that my friend was back to his old ways (aka games). So I made up my mind send him a text on how I feel. That text went into a very bad chat with my so call friend. Here is what was said between the two of us.

Me: I really want to tell you something. I don’t know if I should. :’(
Him: What’s up…
Him: What’s up…
Him: What’s good tell me? I’m busy so I don’t have time for this long wait on response…
Me: I think that we can’t be anything more than friends Because…………..
Me: Just forget about me.
Him: Okay and why is that?
Him: You seriously can’t send me thing like that and not elaborate on it otherwise your shouldn’t send anything at all.
Me: Because I don’t think you really want anything.
Him: I do, just not with you and not right now. I have way to much things to deal with and I’m kinda seeing someone and taking it slow and your perception of slow is not slow at all.
Me: What a F@#$ing a%&.
Him: Why am I an a%& I didn’t do anything wrong and I told you what was good and you took it to heart… I care about you but I’m not ready to be what and who you want me to be. I have too much baggage that I need to rid myself of.
Me: You just said you are kinda seeing someone. That is why your F@#$ing a%&. You don’t care about me. If you did, you have a funny way of showing it. Because this is the first I am hearing about this someone. And other thing you were the one that wanted me to stay the night over and everything. Not me.
Me: I don’t even want to be your friend any more. You F@#$ everything up between us. Good Bye.

For the most part everything is word for word on what was said. But I did clean up some parts. Sorry it is long but I really need to tell someone what was said. Just to get all bad whatever you want call it out of me. I am in a lot of pain right now but I got my heart broken by someone that I thought really cared about me. I really wanted things to be different this time around.

Oh WOW. I am so sorry it turned out this way. It sounds like once he saw that you were standing up for yourself, when you showed him who you really are, he turned back into who he really always was, and then even tried to use it against you? Well, you were very brave and strong to confront him. I can't believe he tried to rush you by TEXT! but i'm an older generation! you kids nowadays, I don't know!