Missing but angry ... and hurt

He acknowledges that he misses me but in the same sentence says that he knows I miss him more and more passionately.

What on earth do I make of that? What arrogance!!

I am enough not to miss him at all right now (despite myself).

sounds very arrogant sabrina! MEN! GRRRRRRRRRRRR

Thank you Julia ... I am trying to decide if I should, and then exactly how ... I should tell him how this has hurt me

Hey Sabrina..... BREATHE before YOU react here.... for it may be nothing more than how males are different in the way they talk and express themselves verses us females.

What I see here is him understanding YOU enough as a female that he knows that you miss him more emotionally when he is gone.... remember that guys are usually on a one track mind and when he is working he does not always miss you during the day as he is busy - but he does miss you when he is not working or alone in his room - Plus he knows that he will be seeing you soon.

BTW - I tend to miss my husband more passionately than he misses me during the day, but that does not mean that he loves me any less... just that he is busy through out the day and his mind stays in one box at a time.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - (((( hugs ))))

Thank you so much Rhap .. you make so much sense. I think what hurt the most is that the trip hubby is on is one of leisure ... I coped very well on his last business trip but the 5-day leisure trips get to me somehow. ( I am not welcome ... without him being mean ... on these leisure trips).

I don't think the word "passion" was used in that exact context but more that he meant I missed him more than he misses me .....

((((((( Sabrina )))))))

Thank you Fuzzy!!!

(((((((((((( Sabrina )))))))))))))))

Hi Sabrina, I agree with Rhapsody. I also think it is maybe because of him being a man and women generally needing more emotional support; whereas men are so busy and not as in need to connect maybe...

Please try not to take it to heart. Or actually, just playfully tweak his ear when he gets back though!

Thanks Always,

I am not going to waste an more energy on being hurt about this and spoil his homecoming. He went away for a week "with the boys" and I have been alone at home so he is probably right that I would miss him more. At least he knows I love him!

Next time tell him you've missed him with every shot so far! ROFL!

(((((Sabrina)))))

RHAPSODY WROTE:
Hey Sabrina..... BREATHE before YOU react here.... for it may be nothing more than how males are different in the way they talk and express themselves verses us females

What I see here is him understanding YOU enough as a female that he knows that you miss him more emotionally when he is gone.... remember that guys are usually on a one track mind and when he is working he does not always miss you during the day as he is busy



Oh Dear!!!! I've been a man for the past 5 years and nobody bothered to tell me......Thanks guys, thanks a lot !!!! You’re the ones who pointed it out to ME, so you guys can bloody well tell my old man(he’s actually younger than me…but it doesn’t sound right if you say young instead of old)…and make sure you do it when I’m out of the country…;O)))))))))))

Hey Sabrina, I'm a girl, and your husband sounds exactly the same as me now, and you sound exactly the same as I used to...so I truly understand both sides.

When I needed someone else to validate my existence, to feel secure, I got very angry at my man for not making me the ONLY thing on his mind if he was gone (military) He didn't miss me like I missed him either...the ______ _________(insert creative nasty names here)...attach a page to the back of this form if you need more room...:O))))))))
I too was hurt, I too thought that he was mean and insensitive and that he didn’t love me like I loved him...I too was wrong.
I was insecure, he wasn't, I needed validation, he didn't
I was unsure of my worthiness of love...he wasn't.

Yeah so now that I've clawed my way back to a good strong sense of me, I find that I am exactly the same as what I used to loathe in him. I understand now.

When I am at work, I don't think about him, I think about work, when I'm out of the country I don't think about him, I think about what I'm supposed to be thinking about while I'm out of the country. etc, etc..

We are two different people, who happen to be very much in love with each other. Because we are different we need different things for each of us to feel good about ourselves, for us and just us.

We have little in common in our likes of music. If he wants to go see a band that plays his kind of music, he goes with other people who also like his kind of music...I love the guy to death, but I am not going to put myself through the torture of his music just to be with him...same goes the other way...it wouldn't even occur to me to ask him to go to a concert of music he doesn't like...I'd go with my buds who do like it.

Having our own lives outside of our relationship keeps each of us healthy and strong, and we bring that health and strength back to the relationship…which only makes it that much more healthy and strong.

Well, that’s how it was for me

Cheers

I over-dramatised. I really am not as bad or obsessive as I obviously appear to come across.

The very reason my husband was away was because he DOES have a life of his own, one that I appreciate and support. I guess it was just sour grapes on my part as I had to stay home this time and work etc etc.

I whole-heartedly agree with a few points made in the above post however I have never felt the need to call him nasty names or the like (even to myself) - my husband does not deserve that disrepect from me.

I need to step back and watch what I post when he goes away in future. I am obviously coming across as needy, clingy and possessive and while I recognize that I am dependent on him emotionally, I am not clingy or possessive. Reading back over my posts when he is not here isn't portraying that.

So, thank you to all my friends for supporting me yet again during hubby's absence. Your friendship helps when I do feel lonely and sad but I think I am portraying myself in a way that is not really who I am so next time hubby goes away, I might be a bit more reserved in seeking attention.

Well I can understand the missing. My husband & daughter just got back, after being gone for two weeks. They'll be here for a day or two, then gone again, for a week or two.
It's hard, I don't want to seem needy and clingy either. Probably do though. I could go and drive, but one of us, for now, needs to stay home, it for now, is me. So, I can identify, just wanted to let you know.