why does nobody stay in my life?

i have noticed recently that nobody ever stays, ever, i cannot think of anybody that will stay, it is not that they have had to always go but often it is something out of will (I think) but i am not sure if it is maybe my fault and i cannot figure it out. I know sometimes people talk about me and say things, and say things too me too, about how i might be boring, but i don't know how to be anything else, something i noticed was that i am losing the ability to communicate properly.

it is not that I don't know how to structure a sentence, though, it is that sometimes i am apparently too formal or maybe i just say things that nobody is interested in or i write too much maybe? nobody really wants to be around me i know, because people only know me when they have nobody else around, and asides that they don't know me, so it isn't really me that they know, but i don't know me either, but why is everyone leaving? I never do anything to be cruel to anybody i swear, it makes me sad when people are hurt by the intentions of others, what can i do to make somebody remember me and not leave and know that maybe i am real? is something wrong in me causing this, sorry i must know?

Hi mister, I can empathise with that feeling…it's so disheartening when everyone just seems to leave? I have often tried to cling onto people…however, I am trying to stop myself doing that now, because I just look and feel desperate.

I'm not much help to you I guess…I don't know why people leave, I don't actually think it's anything you have done.

Sorry I'm not being of much use, I'm very low right now.

Drop by sometime if you like ok.

Hello, mister-a. There is no simple answer to your question. I understand your predicament, but I assume you are writing about what happens in real life and not here in the internet.

It is difficult to answer for me because I just respond to the situation and try to fit in. I understand why you might feel like the others may not find you interesting and it has got you feeling a bit paranoid.

Don't worry about feeling paranoid. Feeling paranoid is like a being a boy scout(back in the days when it was popular)-you are prepared for the worst, but it usually does not happen, so you get a positive result. The worst did not happen.

I would like to think that the best way of communicating is finding a golden nugget of humor. It just takes timing and knowing your audience.

While you gather information on trying to develop that skill, you should consider that concise sentences are more effective.

Here are some links for you to look through to see if it will help you find some answers.

Relationships & Communication - Forums at Psych Central
Anxiety, Panic and Phobias - Forums at Psych Central
http://forums.psychcentral.com/anxie...ours-here.html
Anxiety Success Stories - Forums at Psych Central
http://forums.psychcentral.com/anxie...rstanding.html
Psychological Tests and Quizzes

The same thing happens to me too. I know what it's like. I also really don't know why it happens, so I can't give you much insight to that.

But know that you're not alone.

You're not alone. I feel this way all of the time. Hang in there <3

Hi,

I don't think you should blame yourself for this problem. If someone doesn't stick around you, that is because of THEM, not you.

You say that you don't know yourself very well. Why not?

I viewed a few of OP's posts. Given age of 16, I would think almost no one knows themselves at that age.

Well, I guess no one can tell you why people leave you. Everything is transitory... People, friends, boyfriens/girlsfriens, in special drift way. But you can always try making new friends... Worrying about it don't really help you in any way. That's not a way of solving your problems... but stoping thinks about your situation is a way to deal with it, and then begin trying to have someone more permanent in your life!

I want to say thank you to everyone who has been so kind, not just in this post. I don't have much access to who I am, I don't know why I am just often outcast from my mind it is debatable if I do or don't have one of my own sometimes. I really don't care for anything in the world truly, sometimes there's a flicker of a passionate care for something, like if I see a butterfly or hear birds or when a child smiles, but it is so rare. I do know though that whenever anybody leaves I never forget them and often think of them, hoping they're okay; those people are the only parts of existence that I really care about but I don't know how to handle when they leave, and everyone leaves. It is so difficult to find people that will even talk, but I don't know how to change and keep people in my life, I never do want them to leave ever but I have to accept if they want to. It is just sad that it has happened so often and nobody is really left, when they were all I have been able to care about. I don't mean to seem attention seeking at all, it is just so hard to find people though, that can maybe understand and see me as real, even it is difficult not to be invisible , i don't know what to do

Observe the interactions of others and emulate it. Try not to be creepy about the observing process...

People have suggested to you that you might be depressed:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/gener...too-often.html

It is easier that have others stick around when you are not depressed, so if you treat the depression, you might then find, as a collateral benefit, that your friends stick around.

I agree that Mister should not blame himself for the problem (no use in blaming anyway), but I can hardly see how it would be solely because of THEM that people do not stick around. Sticking around is an interaction between two people, so it seems intuitive to assume that each side has at least some contribution to it.

Per OP, "say things to me too, about how i might be boring" - being boring is a fairly objective thing on the part of Mister. Without going to great lengths such as enrolling in a circus school, one can probably become less boring by treating the depression - I hope that the problem of being boring will self-resolve by treating the depression. I might be wrong in hoping for that, but it seems to be at least worth a try, because treating the depression will yield multiple benefits outside of relationships - say, Mister would not be consumed by thoughts of death so much. To me that would be a clear win.

OP, I have had the same problem (it's not over yet, but I think I'm finally making some inroads). I've concluded that basically, people will stick around in your life as long as they are receiving something from you that they want. That can be genuine connection, it can be some sort of cachet or "coolness" from knowing you, it can be money or job-related, it can be as simple as needing someone to hang out with... Which one, or what combination of the above, depends on the two people involved.

I find that really connecting with people and becoming emotionally involved is a good guarantee that they will stick around. Unfortunately, I've observed that more than actually done it myself. Working on it.

Hopefully this isn't reinventing the wheel, but it actually took me a long time to figure this out.

im sorry that you feel this way, but i can totally empathize with this feeling. this happens all the time. a good friend of mine tried to describe this feeling to me and helped me understand why this happens. she said thats because we must accept the fact that Everybody comes for a certain period in our lives. she said we just have to accept that thats the way it is. but i still find it difficult to let people go who i love so dearly and want them to stay. i have tried to console myself by thinking that may be they are No more NEEDED in my life...but that still make me feel better sometimes.

just want you to know that you're not alone in feeling like this.

Hi there. I think that everyone needs attention. It's just that those who aren't getting what they need can resort to negative behaviors to try and fill that void. When people refer to "attention seeking", it thus has a negative slant. There are, however, positive ways to seek attention. Have you tried any of the following?

Volunteering your time to help other people.
Being considerate to others.
Having good manners.
Dressing nicely.
Smelling good.
Achievement - grades, sports, awards, etc.

I can relate to the OP and thank you for this response. I have always gone through life believing this BUT lately I look around and it seems like others are able to keep some long-term friendships say after they no longer work together, or aren't in school together anymore etc. what does it say about me that once we no longer have the commonality that brought us together, that's it? I think I do share deeply enough with any friends I have at any given time and i definitely make it a point to always listen to them and empathize with whatever they are going through etc.

This pattern seems to be getting to me lately and I start feeling like I am just being used or something. Like people get what they want/need from me at the time and then they are done...idk. But what about my needs?

I try to do all of those things but i always have, I do everything to help people if they need or want it, and do my best to make sure they don't suffer, i feel bad if i don't say please or thank you also so i mark sure i always do ~ even i wear clothes that people like and make sure i get A grades but that has never done anything ;_;