How can you get someone to stop ignoring you without seeming desperate or clingy?

Because to me, ignoring me is not the same thing as "no". I'd be able to take no if he could just TELL me. And if someone who I was not interested in kept trying to contact me, I would straight up tell them no because nobody likes being ignored. I don't think it could really be called "stalking"...I've sent him several texts, but nothing excessive...Like between 10 and 12 in the past week, and maybe 5 messages online. It's not like I'm sending him multiple messages in the span of an hour. I haven't even been sending one every day. And I'm pretty much done contacting him now. Until he contacts me.

Edit: Okay so I just double checked and I've sent him 10 texts since last Thursday (when I asked him when I'd be able to see him). 4 of those were on the 5th (which is my birthday. I was particularly upset that he wasn't talking to me on that day).

What kind of human being ignores you? Does it cost so much to say: "Sorry but no"?
When you know it would help someone move on why deny it? To get some comfort? Because it's inconvenient? Because some men are afraid of endless discussions?

Your guy feels pressured and it paralyzes him apparently. Maybe pretend you don't notice he's silent and send fun and casual stuff: jokes etc...
It will freak him out that you are happy now. Enjoy life and he may wonder if he made a mistake. Who knows.
If not, you're enjoying life.

You have nothing to lose!

Except dignity.

Why? If you sound like you're over him, you won't.
But that's just me.

Maybe read the thread then, she's been obsessing over his silence and acting "stalkerish". Certainly not over him in ANY way, and any more texts, who's to say he doesn't call the cops?

No, ignoring, isn't the same as saying no. It is painful, when those we have feelings for, up and disappear from our lives. Maybe, it's not the most ideal of scenarios. Common courtesy would have us, being upfront and honest. Yet, not everyone likes confrontation.

After, how much time, of being ignored, will you accept this is the way it is between the two of you, and start the grieving process that is part of moving on from any relationship?

You're right, I'm definitely not over him. But I don't think I've sent him nearly enough messages that calling the cops would be reasonable at this point. I've been freaking out quite a bit in my mind just wondering WHY he's being this way, but I've only sent 10 texts since last Thursday, and with the exception of my birthday, never sent more than one in a day.

It's hard to say, really. Honestly I'd already pretty much already accepted that a romantic relationship couldn't happen. I was hoping that we could meet again just for this one time and then go back to just being friends.

Now I'm not sure how to feel. I'm not about to just throw away a 7 year friendship because of this, even if he is. I don't know how much time I should give him.

It sounds like you have a fantasy going on in your own head driving your behavior. That you get a sense of relief still sending him "one more" message every so often, sounds like a smoker wanting just one more cigarette before giving them up. You have to disengage from your fantasy before anything can/cannot happen with this guy.

I suppose that's a good way to put it. This guy just spent so much time talking about coming to see me again...It was hard not to build up a fantasy in my head. Then he seemed to slowly be pulling away and now all of a sudden he's not talking to me at all I'm just...confused.

Some guys love to tell themselves bedtime stories. So he probably believed them himself but they were not rooted deeply in his mind. I have experienced this too many times and each time the guy thought he wanted something but didn't really and new circumstances easily changed his mind. Or something scares him. Either way the problem is in his mind. Not much you can do, really.

Hmm. You bring up a good point. Back in May when he had said he couldn't be long distance, he had said he "wanted to believe". But still, he replied to me then. Maybe the same thing is happening here but I don't know why he wouldn't just say that when he could before.

That's something I have struggled with, in the past. Staying too long. It's never easy to 'let go' of something that has been long term. Even platonically speaking, he didn't acknowledge your birthday . Personally, that's such a deal breaker. Wondering what it would be like, for just one time, if your emotions are already all over the place now, would you really be able to detach after a one time occasion?

Honestly, I don't know. I'd like to think I would, as long as he stayed in contact afterwards.

Who knows why he has shifted his attitude, nothing you said provides explanation.

But don't be desperate.. Find someone who is actually interested in you... Forget this guy if he is not interested at all then you cannot do ANYTHING to change it.

Is this the only guy who as EVER been interested in you or something? You say you don't want to appear desperate, but do you feel EXTREMELY desperate?

Probably all the more reason, to let go of the idea of him, at this point. Maybe he sensed this, in the first place, but I am not him. I really don't know why, and can't give much more speculation. I do know, he ignored your birthday. I wouldn't want relations with a person, that would disregard a special day, like that. (there are those in this world, who'd rather pass that day by each year, for their own reasons, but you mentioned it in a previous post, and I gravitated to that statement, by virtue of I'd be miffed about it.)

If he doesn't acknowledge your birthday, as he may have in the past, then he's not showing towards you a sense of cherishing you as a close friend.

Which leads me right back to the thread title, 'how can you get someone to stop ignoring you without seeming desperate or clingy?' The more contact without reciprocation, the more socially awkward things start to appear.

I've developed an internal rule of thumb. When in communication, texting/email/phone, I try to maintain a ratio of 1:1. I don't veer off a 2:1 ratio. (lest it's a more involved back and forth texting 'conversation', then numbers don't quite matter, so long as it's a back and forth texting. ) For me, going over that 2:1 ratio, isn't giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. And over that ratio, leaves me, feeling a bit unbalanced, a bit lopsided. I have to question myself, if I am putting too much effort without a return.

If I don't hear from certain friends for weeks at a time, and believe me, that does happen, I chalk it up, to the business that we all experience.

I've been in a socially awkward situation. Believe me, knowing what was said, about that unbalanced relationship, about me, was the most embarrassing, shaming, humiliating experience. Instead of just breaking it off, no contact, that 'friend'/'boyfriend' decided to ignore, ignore, ignore, then...call...hey, I need to talk to you, you are the only one who understands my family life and my dad is ill, etc. Then, ignore, ignore, ignore...

...until he broke it off via email, having spent the week with someone else, at another college, but then I still, like a schmuck, typed up all his finals papers, so he could graduate...then he married her.

It was humiliating, because then, he later in the decade, after I stopped all contact, vilified and blamed me for a large part of his troubles. So, this guy of yours, clearly isn't being clear and concise with you. In some cases, relationships/friendships need to end in an all or nothing manner, because there is something 'amiss' about the connection to begin with.