Need opinions HELP!

Forget Forwards!!! Screen Shots!! Windows 8 has Snip-It capabilities. I honestly forget the other versions, at the moment. You save the screen shot to your computer, or a USB card!! Save it to a USB card, and hide the evidence that you've found it!!

Also, you may want an application to save texts, from your h, showing anything that displays alienation of affections to you. If that's a method, you've used to communicate. All those, sorry honey, too busy at the office.

The free app, is called SMS Backup+. I learned this one, since phones cannot go into a courthouse. Thing is, it won't download, straight to your phone. Must find it, online, connect phone to computer and voila. Then, send to a google account, and then you can print, it's all time/stamped, which the time/stamps are very, very important evidence.

Damn, he got a new cord and took his phone to bed. I got a couple of screenshots from his iPad but only two printed out. I must have deleted them too soon before they were sent to the printer. I don't want that stuff hanging around my phone because my son's birthday party is this weekend and anyone could grab my phone to take pictures.

Well, it looks like I am talking to a lawyer on Monday. Just waiting for her to confirm. It was so hard to act normal tonight. He spent 4 hours between his iPad, phone and laptop. Can't get into the laptop because he has it finger print protected.

I just want this to be over.

I am sorry that I suggested forwarding. I had a light bulb moment driving on a highway - should not have said anything techno-stupid.

Please, besides screen shots, record the information - the date, the address of the sender, and probably the timestamp as a whole. Then your lawyer could obtain those letters via discocery, I.e. husband will have to produce them.

+1 on silver lining. Not only did it propel you in the right direction, but also if you find direct or even indirect evidence of his paying for sex, you will get some ammunition.

Look up "form n400 us citizenship" (too big of a download for my phone). If I recall correctly, the question is about whether one has SOlIcited Prostitution. Not paid for, but solicited, so an offer would do.

One thing...Massachusetts is a "No fault" divorce state. I am not sure that gathering evidence would make a difference...

Good Point, there. It could just be good to have and hold a couple of pieces of it, just in case.

It is a no fault state, and the judges try to rule in a fair and reasonable manner. There is a mediation styled approach, less trial.

I remember, it involves, filing the motion for divorce. The very first court date, is about sitting with a probate officer and plugging in the financial information that involves child support. I was less, than 10 years married, so there was no alimony involved, in my case, but I'd imagine that would get resolved right then and there. This way, the financial outcome is established first and foremost.

The second court date, involved, mediation between his and my attorneys, and all four of us, sitting down, and working on both of our desires where health insurance, visitation, assets etc were concerned. Prior to that court date, I'd received, from my attorney a couple drafts of the divorce decree. And, then we met before the judge, who explained, her expectations for how she'd like things to proceed and an explanation of what would happen. Less, cooperation from either of us, would result in 'both parties not being satisfied, if she was forced to rule on this.'

The third court date, was the nisi ruling. And swearing an oath, that what was signed was what we'd agreed upon. And 90 days, later, it was absolute.

Evidence, may be a bargaining tool, more than anything else.

Spoke with my therapist today and I have made the decision to confront my husband in a couple's session after sending him an email saying that I know about what he is doing and that I want to talk in a safe environment with a third party. Going to draft the letter today and send it to him on Sunday night after my son's birthday party. I don't want to ruin my son's birthday weekend.

Sexual content Warning

Oh, it gets so much worse... I got some pictures of email exchanges on his iPad and some of them came from Craigslist ads. They range from looking for a woman to dominate him to arranging time with a man to have oral sex. I typed info into Craigslist according to what I saw on his iPad and found a couple of ads he has placed.

Worse than all of that is a response to an ad on another site about driving people places. Though it doesn't say it specifically in the ad, it looks like he is driving prostitutes to their appointments. There was an email on his iPad that was from a girl who was asking him how much he charges and that she never worked with a driver before and wants to get started right away. Before this week it was happening in his car that was registered to him but we just traded that car in to get a minivan that I am driving the kids around in and he is now driving the car that is registered in my name. If he does this and gets caught with a prostitute in the car and gets caught taking money from said prostitute, the police will see that the car is mine. I did a bit of research on the laws surrounding this and it didn't specifically name driving prostitutes as an illegal activity, the law said that individuals who profit from the prostitute's actions could receive a 5 year jail sentence ans have to pay a large fine. I am not clear on this part, but I think that would then qualify him as a sex offender and he would have to register as such.

He has driven prostitutes and who knows who else, with all their issues, and possibly drugs in the same car he drives our children home from school in! I AM FEELING SICK!

I am meeting with a lawyer on Monday and it can't come soon enough. She told me together whatever evidence I can and to not confront him with it until we talk. I can't get to his iPhone which I know contains a text saying that he is willing to pay for being dominated.

I guess I know where his mystery $400 cash came from. Thank goodness I showered after I held that money in my hand.

I don't want this man anywhere near my kids and it is killing me not to say anything but I know I have to be patient...

I also know that they aren't going to give custody to a guy who is basically a sex offender.

I am shocked. How could this happen? This is stuff that happens in bad TV movies, not my life!

He could get shot, arrested, hurt! He has children! WHO IS THIS MAN!!??

I can't believe this, well, actually I can... the whole family is in the living room, the kids are playing on iPads, I am on my laptop and my husband is on his laptop. I can tell he is "taking care of his own needs" in front of us all. He must be looking at porn or a chat room. Does he think I am stupid? This is not the first time. Last time I asked him later if he was doing that and he said that he had a bad itch that he was scratching and that he would never do that in front of all of us.

I am sorry I keep coming here to vent. I don't have anywhere else to talk about this stuff except with my therapist but I can't go calling him on the phone every five minutes when these things happen. If I keep it all inside I think I might just go crazy.

It's sounds like it's going to be quite the grieving process, for you. The illusion of it all, the person you thought you married, who has turned out to be someone altogether different. Hopes, dreams, and now the entire shameful fear of his getting caught, with these activities, the exposure and how much harm it could bring to you and the children.

I'm glad you are taking the steps necessary, to pull yourself out, of the immediate path of danger. It's too bad, when they spin out of control. Glad to know, you've a therapist to work all this out with.

And PC, is fine to vent all you need, this is a shock to your system.

You are in my prayers, honey. There is no excuse for a husband to behave like that. You have every right to be angry. Your plans sound good. Keep a cool head. Think before reacting. Respond, don't react. Courage friend.

That MA is a no fault state is irrelevant. You are not trying to find a cause for divorcing him. Rather, you are collecting evidence that helps paint your soon to be ex in a negative light, to help outweigh your history of ETC and bad housekeeping.

If you can present your evidence in the couples meeting telling him "dude, you are finished. Let us agree to a sbared custody arrangement and let us decide to hire a mediator right now", then you just might luck out and save handsomely on the litigation fees. But you need to present your discov not as in "here is the evidence I have compiled - what has been going on?" But rather as "not that we were not already close to being done, but after these lovely findings we sure are done as I don't want to limit your exciting new life and, by the way, you should say bye to your hopes of getting custody of our son with that kind of record, so let us get into mediation asap"

Hopefully this shock would be a good moment to strike a deal. Then ask the couples T to recommend a divorce mediator. The T surely has a list of names.

Good luck! How many years of couples - 5? You could have invested the couples T fees into your new business. ..

I just got a photo of the money in his night table and of the parts of that text that talks about sending the girl money. A picture of the text is the best I can get but it might be enough for the lawyer to get a subpoena to search his phone and other electronics. I see her tomorrow morning. I feel like I am the one cheating.

I found a bunch more emails on his iPad that talk about trading money and pot for sexual favors. I took photos on my iPhone. It is the best I could do. I looked up the law in MA and just offering, whether the act is done or not is enough to be jailed and fined.

He has a major problem. I also found some emails about meeting up with people while we were in New York City for the weekend. I was at a two day seminar where I was in an auditorium from 9-4, while he went "sight-seeing." I had no reason to distrust him, but little did I know! He must have contacted at least 5 or 6 people about meeting up in our hotel room while I was gone for the day.

Right now, I am shocked, amazed and angry. I think the hurt will kick in soon. I am so glad I have a therapist, and I am building a support system of friends and family. I am going to need it.

I will be surprised if he hasn't given me a disease.

Make sure the ob-gyn tests you very thoroughly. Tell her what you know, so that she gets that his behavior is very high risk.

I am glad that offering is enough in your state.

calm down, something does not worth it!

I have mixed feelings because on one hand I want him to be punished for his behavior, I mean he broke the law, right? And I want it to be public like in the newspaper so that our friends know that he did something wrong and that I am not just a mean B. But on the other hand, I don't want any of this to get out because I don't want him to lose his job and never be able to get another one because I will be depending on child support money.

I am going to have the OBGYN test for every imaginable disease out there. It isn't until Feb. 13, though.

O hun, ive been there. Hubby was a tattoo artist getting it on with young *****s. Some underage...for free tattoos. For a long time I had no idea. I feel your pain. Im from Mass originally. Even though u cant use the evedence for the divorce, you should have no problems with custody even with a mental illness. They will just check you out for well being. Keep your house clean. You do not need to leave the home. In fact, insist on staying unless its in his name. If you leave, its abandonment and u could lose your belongings, etc. Get the kids in therapy to show you are being responsible, get youself checked out at the doc and keep records of everything you can ever think of.

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Alright, the divorce has been filed and a summons will go out in a couple of weeks. I am going to talk to him Thursday night when the kids aren't around (they're going out to dinner with my sister). He will have until the end of the weekend to talk to the kids and say his good byes. He will have to move out by the end of Sunday. He will have until the end of February to get all of his belongings out of the house. As I clean up, I will be boxing up his belongings as I come across them and will store them all in one room so that when he comes to get his stuff he just has to go up and get a box and get out. I have changed the password on my banking and will be getting a new debit card tomorrow. The locks will be changed on Monday. The kids already have a therapist and I will be making appointments for the next couple of weeks. I have an appointment to get tested for everything under the sun. The attorney has print outs of the incriminating e-mails. Everything is in order, and I will have the house in decent order by the end of Friday, hopefully Thursday.

You're in my thoughts, I'm very proud of you for taking action so swiftly.

This can't go in with my kids around. Now that I know from my attorney what my financial options are, I am no longer afraid. My goal is to stay in the house, but if we have to sell it, I will put the money that I get away and save up to buy a smaller condo at some point.

When I tell him, I know that he is going to get mad so I have a safety plan in place. He is also going to insist on taking the van we just bought, but I am going to try to work it out with him to keep the van because it is a better car for the kids. If I have to, I can probably get a court order to have him refinance the van into my name and then I will sell him my car for $1. I will try to get him to pay for the van as well as the mortgage on the grounds that he should be concerned about his son's safety.

He is supposed to be taking Friday off from work, so that will give him a chance to pack up some stuff and get going and find a place to go.

This is going to be scary, and suckish, but it is really the best thing for me and my kids.

I have been cleaning the house this week and he is walking around saying hoe "proud" he is of me. It is making me sick.

What an organised legend you are!
So glad you've got on top of this with such strength.
All power, and peace, to you

He hired his attorney today. He says he isn't going to be difficult but he has already changed his direct deposit to an account that I don't have as much access to.