[niceguy]

If you truly believe in your heart two people are meant to be together- despite the odds and hurdles in the way, when is it time to move on for good?
I always believed in my heart there is just one person for me, but what can you do if you start to question if that's right?

Any thoughts? Who here still believes that love conquers all and that more importantly, if you truly love someone you should never give up on them (Despite any flaws)?

[LaborIntensive]

I do Still looks like it may not happen but who knows!

[FLJ13]

When is it time to move on? Right when you feel like it. I don't believe that that kind of true crazy love lasts forever, especially being a BP person, but I followed my heart, and was crazy in love. I had the time of my life, and I knew I would never love anyone like that again. I have no regrets. I'm just glad I got that chance to experience it. My marriage is a different story. I was manic, thought I was happy, thought we were getting on, that everything would work out, but it hasn't. MH issues and cultural differences. I believe love has the power to conquer all, but that kind of love isn't present here. I do believe that if you truly love someone you shouldn't give up on them, as long as it doesn't destroy you.

Edit: I do believe that wonderful gift of true crazy love I received lives on in my heart and mind as hope - hope for all good things to come to the child that was the amazing product created out of that love, even if by accident.

[atomicc]

I think it exists and I think I have found it. I don't think anyone can tell you when it's time to move on because that's truly a decision that comes from your heart and your head. When you feel like it's not working, then it's not. If you feel like you can't salvage the relationship, then go with your feelings. Love is different for every one I think and different couples can conquer different hurdles. good luck

[forever16]

Originally Posted by niceguy

If you truly believe in your heart two people are meant to be together- despite the odds and hurdles in the way, when is it time to move on for good?
I always believed in my heart there is just one person for me, but what can you do if you start to question if that's right?

Any thoughts? Who here still believes that love conquers all and that more importantly, if you truly love someone you should never give up on them (Despite any flaws)?

I do believe in love. And I think you shouldn't give up. If your asking, your not ready to give up. I'm sure there is a time when people need to move on. When it becomes unhealthy to continue. There was a time in my life (not too long ago) when I was ready to give up. But thank god my heart won out. I decided it was worth continuing. Well to make a long story short I thank god everyday I stuck it out. I have never been happier. Don't give up, not just yet.

I personally don't like the idea of "true" love. Because thinking that there is only one person fated to be your perfect match is kind of... disheartening? What happens if that person dies before they get to meet you. Or what happens if they die while with you? Are you never allowed to move on eventually? Love is love and the ones that work out the best are when your personality, characteristics, and interests match up the best. There are billions of people on this Earth and there are thousands if not millions of people on each continent (except Antarctica) that would be a good match for you. Sure, some definitely work match up better than others but there will always be people that work well with you. Everyone is going through different stages of your life. The type of person you're interested in when you're 18 really will be different from what you want when you're 30. Even if someone would generally match up well with you could really not depending on what they experience later.

Plus, depending on the flaws, sometimes it really is better to break up. Now of course, both have to be willing to work on the relationship and understand that petty mistakes are not something to get terribly worked up about but people are always different for each other and when one is significantly less invested than another, then sometimes it doesn't work out no matter what they want.

[Middlemarcher]

Originally Posted by niceguy

If you truly believe in your heart two people are meant to be together- despite the odds and hurdles in the way, when is it time to move on for good?
I always believed in my heart there is just one person for me, but what can you do if you start to question if that's right?

Any thoughts? Who here still believes that love conquers all and that more importantly, if you truly love someone you should never give up on them (Despite any flaws)?

I was with one person from age 15 to age 30. The only person I had ever dated. I believed it was true love, cosmic, mythic, eternal, all that stuff. I believed for a long time that love conquered all, that he was the only person for me, that we were meant to be, and that you should never give up on the person you truly love.

And then, eventually, there were too many problems. Or more properly, there was the same amount of problems, but they wore me down and burned me out. It didn't work. I'll never really stop loving him, I think, but I don't love him in the same way, and I would never be able to make it work for me, no matter how much I love him.

I've grieved over so many things--the plans we'd made that will never come to pass, the wonderful times we used to have together, the hurt that the divorce caused him, all the big and little changes of daily life, the promises we made and broke. But I have also grieved over the fact that our forever love was not forever, and that I no longer believe in this sort of mythic, cosmic love. I believe in love, but it is a love that is not untouchable by the pressures of the world and the fact that human beings are imperfect creatures who have needs they want fulfilled. And this loss of what felt like paradise, innocence, has been as devastating as much of the less abstract things I mentioned earlier. My ex has gone through the same journey, with the same grief. And it is immense grief. For a long time I thought I'd never stop crying. I spent days, weeks, months crying. There are still times that I am still overwhelmed with sadness.

But there are happier times, too, and the times of grief become less frequent. He is with someone else now, and so am I. Life moves on if you're ready to.

I've seen some of your posts before, so I thought perhaps some of this would resonate with you.

[Lorn]

I've always been a follower of, "The grass grows where you water it." The belief that there's one person out there you absolutely have to be with is something I see hurting a lot of people because they start overlooking signs that they're in a relationship with someone who just doesn't mesh with them, because yadda yadda if I fail true love I must really be a failure and will die alone.

The problem is that true love doesn't come with a label, it's open to interpretation.

This might seem cynical, but I watched my mother's two dysfunctional marriages tear her life apart and suffered her choices myself with bruises, hunger, fear, isolation, and neglect. From her I learned to immediately walk away from the boyfriend who tried to drug my drink when I was only 16 (went upstairs and demanded a ride home from his dad when he broke down crying about it!), not throw my arms around him and weep Disney-style about how we'll overcome his tragic problems.

As of now I'm in a good relationship where we've ironed out our communication difficulties while the 59-year-old woman still has screaming matches with a smooth ex-convict most of the family avoids when possible. Doesn't seem to mind that he harassed, spied on, stole from, locked out, taunted, and once assaulted my brother and I, but I guess that's true love for you - he just had to convert to a church man and say he was sorry.

Put my vote down for cynicism.

If you actually have someone in mind that you believe you shouldn't give up on, then maybe you shouldn't ? 'It ain't over till it's over' as they say. Flaws can be worked out imo

Do I believe in true love? don't know

[Trippin2.0]

I believe in true love, but I also believe we can love more than one person as love has many faces and differing depths, because love isn't one dimensional and relationship dynamics differ between couples.

The love I share with my bf is none like I've experienced with another, we've loved eachother since we were 15, many years before we began dating or even knew what love meant. We've loved eachother during years of being seperated by oceans, time zones and no contact. Our love hasn't been affected by time, space nor circumstance.

When is it time to let go or move on?
When its no longer good for you, when its no longer nourishing to your very being, when it hurts instead of comforts, when it endures instead of flourishes...

Sometimes its healthier to love certain people from a distance.

[hamster-bamster]

It seems as though people interpret "true love" to mean "a perfectly fitting match". I don't see how the degree of fit has anything to do with Love. Love is about feelings, readiness to make sacrifices or at least care very deeply... not the degree of match. And sometimes one can love more than one person in that true deeply caring way.

[redbandit]

I don't believe there is necessarily one person destined for every person . I used to, but then, how do you explain so many divorces and people who can't find the "one" ? I believe people often mistake lust for love, and get overly caught up in feelings. Romantic love isn't just a feeling, it has to be an action, too.
Several years ago, I almost married a person who would have been completely wrong for me ( IMO wrong for anyone ...lol) luckily I woke up in time.
I do feel that my husband and I were meant for each other, because time has proven that . He puts up with all my craziness, and I'm "teaching " him stuff .

[GradStudent15]

Originally Posted by niceguy

If you truly believe in your heart two people are meant to be together- despite the odds and hurdles in the way, when is it time to move on for good?
I always believed in my heart there is just one person for me, but what can you do if you start to question if that's right?

Any thoughts? Who here still believes that love conquers all and that more importantly, if you truly love someone you should never give up on them (Despite any flaws)?

I think there are people in this world we connect with and when we pour our energy and attention into someone it can become love. I believe that if odds and hurdles are able to be successfully worked through, then that relationship can be stronger and better than it was before. But to work through those odds and hurdles both people have to be willing to work at it. If there is only 1 person working at making it better, then it can't work.

Only you know if it's time to walk away from a relationship. I'm currently in a situation where my marriage is struggling. No matter how hard this moment is for me, I know in my heart its not time to walk away. But, both he & I are trying to work on us.

I hope you work it out

[henrydavidtherobot]

I believe that you should stick around if it is healthy for the both of you and if the person is willing to work on their significant flaws. I've had many addicts in my life, and often leaving a person lights the fire under their *** to fix their lives. Sometimes, leaving is the best thing you can do.

I never have believed in "true love" (or love at all for that matter) and I never will.

There are people who use and people who are to be used. That is all there is.

To believe that more exists will only lead to more hurt in the end.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

There are people who use and people who are to be used. That is all there is.

Really??? Its so sad that you believe nobody on Earth has the intelectual or emotional capacity to regard eachother as anything more.

But let's just say for a moment you're opinion is factual, that we are all 1 dimensional and lacking any kind of depth:
The relationship you described is mutually beneficial, as both parties are having their needs met... Who's to say that's not love??

On the same note, my bf must be pretty stupid to stick around for so many years just to use me.
I mean I'm bloody high maintainence with all this borderline, bipolar bullshyt I bring to the table
He could be putting in much less effort and have much less drama in his life if he would only decide to go use someone else instead of me...

To believe that more exists will only lead to more hurt in the end.

Fear will cripple and rob you, and so will denial

You wouldn't want me to go into what I think about the intellectual and emotional capabilities of the general human population…there are few left that are capable of rising above the station of a drone. Perhaps there weren't many to begin with.

I believe our definitions of love differ. A mutually beneficial relationship would only be that: a symbiotic relationship. I don't see how that would be defined as love? Besides, such an arrangement wouldn't often happen. I said that people are either users or used, not both. A mutually beneficial relationship would require both people to take on both roles simultaneously.

All I know is that I haven't even found more than shallow reasons to be around other people at all. Besides what you need for school/career, what else is there but a way to waste time? And what is the point of caring about anyone else beyond a superficial level if my "love" is immediately chucked into the nearest trash can?

[Perna]

Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.

A mutually beneficial relationship would require both people to take on both roles simultaneously.

That sometimes happens; kind of like sitting back-to-back and "pushing" until both are standing up. It requires sharing and give-and-take and wanting the other to get what they want but not giving up responsibility for your own wants (if they can help you get them, great/if they cannot help you, great). There has to be honest communication (I don't lie to my husband, even if I have done something I believe he will not like/agree with) and faith in your partner; the last word is important, true love is a partnership (as my husband will cry out to me when I am trying to push him away or am telling him when/why he's "wrong" -- "We're on the same side!" :-)

[NWgirl2013]

I believe in true love. I believe you can feel it for more than one person. I don't think it is enough to overcome life and its many obstacles always. For me, the love doesn't really go away, it is put away somewhere safe, but it remains a part of me. It is the glimmer that someone else here called hope and I have it.

[Darkanddesolate]

I believe that true love is when two people get married and manage to stay married their entire lives. True love means making tons of sacrifices and overcoming obstacles, but it can bring lifelong happiness.

💀🌊⚡️

[brainhi]

There is a lot of different chemicals the brain is producing with lust, love and attachment. Knowing the science does not have to make it less beautiful. Google Helen Fisher. I've had a lot of pain letting go. That person may add to your life but when the bad outweighs the good - either get help in keeping it together or work on letting it go. It's a process and very painful...but it does get better. I'm always working to enjoy the here and now so I do not miss out on a great experience!

[forever16]

Originally Posted by GradStudent15

I think there are people in this world we connect with and when we pour our energy and attention into someone it can become love. I believe that if odds and hurdles are able to be successfully worked through, then that relationship can be stronger and better than it was before. But to work through those odds and hurdles both people have to be willing to work at it. If there is only 1 person working at making it better, then it can't work.

Only you know if it's time to walk away from a relationship. I'm currently in a situation where my marriage is struggling. No matter how hard this moment is for me, I know in my heart its not time to walk away. But, both he & I are trying to work on us.

I hope you work it out

I completely agree with you. Any relationship takes work, by all involved. Relationships that are worth your time and effort can actually grow into very strong relationships. Nothing worth it comes easy.

[Lauliza]

I believe in true love, but I believe it can be found with more than one person. I used to believe there was just one soul mate for everyone, but since my marital problems I have come to believe otherwise. I think it creates unreasonable expectations for people and is even a little depressing. People change, needs change and love changes, sometimes disappears. I think it is time to let go when you are going in circles, repeating the same patterns that are no longer working. I do think there are things that happen that cannot be rectified, although what those things are depend on the individual. Some people so want to recreate what they once had with someone and its just not always possible.

[LaborIntensive]

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I believe in true love, but I believe it can be found with more than one person. I used to believe there was just one soul mate for everyone, but since my marital problems I have come to believe otherwise. I think it creates unreasonable expectations for people and is even a little depressing. People change, needs change and love changes, sometimes disappears. I think it is time to let go when you are going in circles, repeating the same patterns that are no longer working. I do think there are things that happen that cannot be rectified, although what those things are depend on the individual. Some people so want to recreate what they once had with someone and its just not always possible.

It gives me something to hold on to, thanks!

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by niceguy

If you truly believe in your heart two people are meant to be together- despite the odds and hurdles in the way, when is it time to move on for good?
I always believed in my heart there is just one person for me, but what can you do if you start to question if that's right?

Any thoughts? Who here still believes that love conquers all and that more importantly, if you truly love someone you should never give up on them (Despite any flaws)?

Such a complex range of questions, but I'll bite. I am more into the notion of there's people in our lives for a 'season, reason, lifetime.'

I don't believe, that we entirely give up on people, but reach a point where it's either healthy or unhealthy to progress forward. I will only leave, when I can no longer stay, is a decent philosophical mindset.

There needs to be a sense of realism and logic, even when it comes to matters of the heart. Loving someone, needn't be so painful. Love, imo, isn't meant to hurt. When, you mention, love conquers all and never giving up, is it the person that is evoking love, or the ideology of the relationship, as a whole.

Perhaps, if the part about this question, is about whether one can continue to love them, well, if it causes one to stop loving oneself, then it stands to reason one is not loving the other, and perhaps the person isn't a lifetime, but a season or a reason.

Yes, we can love and accept another's flaws, but if the relationship isn't at a functioning level, then at what cost to your own esteem and worth is holding onto the 'promise'?