Newlywed, Hubby kiss my buttock (butt cheek), he weird?

Hello, Recently (February 6th) I got married to my then boyfriend, now husband. Maybe it the cultural difference? But in my culture, I'm just not used to this kind of stuff. It kindda weird to me.
He did this before when he my boyfriend, so it not the first time that he kiss my buttock. But now we married, so he have more chance of doing it, lol

Sometimes after shower, I lay in bed and hubby help put lotion on my arms, legs, thighs, and back. And he would kiss my buttock.
I do have a round butt, I guess he find it attractive?

He kiss my butt cheek often too. Whenever in bed I lay on my stomach, he would just kiss my buttock.
Well he is my husband now, so I guess it normal to him to do that. But I just found it a bit weird.

I don't know how to explain how I feel, but I just feel weird. Whenever I lay in bed on my stomach, he would put his lips on my buttock and give it a kiss. Strange...

I know I'm not making much sense. But in my culture, it didn't teach me this stuff when I grow up. In my childhood through growing up, I wasn't raise knowing this kind of intimacy.
Anyone out there have their husband do this to them? Perhaps to him is just a loving way show to his wife, but I find it kindda strange.
So I guess it a good thing right? Normal? Nothing I should be concern about?

Are there things that your husband do that to him is loving. But to you, you find it weird/bizarre? Can you share some?

No trust me that's not weird
If he is ever in need of a job thou My boss would love having him around.

Nothing weird about it. More so you should be happy you got yourself affectionate loving and passionate guy. Congrats!!!

He loves you and is attracted to you and that's what people do, I mean kiss and touch everywhere. It is great. I think you might want to show him such intimacy too by kissing him the same way , he will like it

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Very very normal.. Just relax and enjoy him. You might want to ask him what he would like you to do for him as well. Communication is very important. Once married you can do anything you like with each other as long as it is not harmful, and it's just between the two of you. Just my opinion.

Thank you for all replies, and thanks for being understanding. To me, it just very different culturally, that explains my strange feelings to it. Hope I make sense.

Our marriage is fine, husband is Not a kinky guy.
We only have the 'vanilla' sex, the traditional normal sex between a man and a woman, Nothing out of ordinary sex.... It just him give a kiss on my butt cheek is kindda weird to me.

I guess it time for me to adapt to his 'loving' style. We do have a huge cultural difference though. But he is an awesome husband, I have no regrets married to him.

That's awesome. I would try to have open communication with him as someone said above ask if there is something he would want you to do as well. Just be open and enjoy each other!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Remember that even though you are married you are under no obligation to do anything sexually that you are not comfortable with. If you don't like something speak up and say so For him to stop.

i don't think anything is wrong with it, if you don't like it although i would mention it to him and ask him not to do it if it bothers you too much

You might mention to him that you find it a strange custom. What culture do you come from?

It just I have my own emotional baggage
My Chinese mother disapproved my relationship because my husband is a non-Chinese.
'm struggling with trying to be a fialial daughter eventhough mom treats me like craps. Trying to satisfied my culture, and trying to adapt to my non-Chinese husband 'style' of affection.

I do have an emotionally abusive mother, who belittle me and verbally abuse me throughout my whole childhood. This cause me to have low self-worth as an adult.

It also have something to do with how I was raise, not seeing any affection at all in my childhood.
I grow up in the traditional Chinese family that does not show affection at all. There was no saying 'I love you' between parents and children. There was no hugs, no goodnight kisses. No physical display of affection between children, parents, relatives family.
Eventhough my family immigrant to USA for 20 years already, but they still very old-fashioned.

So growing up not seeing affection. Now married to my husband, he get all intense affectionate to me. It just make me feel kindda awkward.

I guess it cultural difference. I'm 30, husband is 29 year olds and non-Chinese.
We do have a big cultural difference between us. But I'm getting use to it. He is my husband now, so this is his 'style' of showing affection.

I dunno, he just put his lips on my butt and give it a kiss. He didn't do anything kinky. Perhaps it just a gesture that he loves his wife. But I can't seem to get used to affection.

I suggest you honestly share with him that you love his affection but need time to used to it since you were raised differently. My family is also not affectionate and I understand what you are saying

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It's totally normal. I have, myself, experienced this in past relationships. Some men are attracted to butts, some breasts, and etc. It sounds like your husband finds your behind attractive and cute and sexy and since he is the only one who sees it naked, this is a show of affectionate, loving intimacy for him. I agree with the others--it is important that, if you're uncomfortable with this, to ask him to stop and that he honor that request. Otherwise, I absolutely encourage you to tell him that you are unfamiliar with certain displays of intimacy, and explain why: you did a great job of explaining to us, and you can do the same with your husband. It is so important to have that communication--intimacy is not only about sex, it is also about your emotional connection and communication. And, since you are newlyweds, it is important to begin now! Also, if you are communicating openly you will feel more comfortable trying new things...maybe. I'm not saying you have to, I'm just saying you never know.

I'm so glad you felt comfortable to ask your question here. I hope you feel comfortable coming back.

Thank you for your reply.

No, No, the butt cheek kiss wasn't always naked. He kissed my butt naked before, but there're times when I was not naked he still kiss it.
Like when I lay on my stomach in bed. I have underwear on, and he still kiss my butt.
I dunno, he just put his lips on my butt and give it a kiss. I just find it awkward. Perhaps I need time to get used to this type of stuff.

I dunno, it like I'm not use to affection. Another example I feel kindda awkward is this.
My hubby he works 12-14 hours shift everyday, so perhaps he miss me.
Everytime he back from work, if I happened to be in the kitchen. He would lift me up onto the kitchen countertop and give me a long kiss. Again, I thought it was kindda awkward.
We have a huge height different between us. So usually he have to lift me up or bend down to kiss me.

You see, other women they would be thrill if their husband do this to them. But I don’t feel thrilled.
I don’t know what is wrong. I don’t know if this have anything to do with my mother abandonment me, so subconsciously it haunt me. I know it my problem.
I have No regrets choose to married him though. He is an awesome husband, it just I'm under alot of 'emotional stress" from my mother, and it not letting me enjoy my marriage fully on the "emotional" level.

Just realize that you are a grown woman and now married and don't need to be attached to your mother. Focus on your loving husband. He sounds awesome, does he have older hopefully single brother? Lol

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Doesn't necessarily need to be naked, it's still intimate--strangers certainly wouldn't do it! And the lifting up thing...that is something you may see in American movies or television. I see men who are much taller than their significant others do it. I am 5'10" and my ex-boyfriend used to do it.

What it sounds like to me is that you are, overall, just not used to intimacy in general. This does not have to be sexual or romantic. Again, I stress the importance of communication with your husband about this. I believe that, if he is on the same "page," so to speak, with you about it, meaning if you are both of the same understanding of where you are in terms of your understanding and comfort level with it, then you can come to be more comfortable with these little displays of affection. Americans tend to be more demonstrative with affection than other cultures (and less so than others). It also sounds like hubby's primary "love language" (the way he shows/gives love) is physical touch. What would be okay with you to show him you love/are thinking of him? Do you like to do things around the house for him? Give him gifts? Tell him nice things? Spend time with him? There are various ways we demonstrate love for one another.

I'm 4'11 and my husband is 6'1, you figure.
NO WAY we can kiss normally unless he lift me up or he bend down. Really, there No way we can stand next to each others can kiss.

My husband sure do alot of intense affectionate things. Here is another example 'he wants the intense emotional connection during sex."

Here where we live have lots of lights outside at night, it won’t ever be pitch black in the bedroom. We close all the blinds but lights still shine in, so I guess it “dim light” sex for us…. Hubby wants the “Intense emotional connection’.
Whenever we have sex, he always looking at my facial expressions. Alot of kissing all over my face, lips, and neck. I tried turn my ahead to the side, then he would be kissing all over my neck. Then I know right there that I can’t avoid is ‘”Eyes” and face.

And I feel embarassed that he seeing how I feel/reacts who every little things he do during sex. He looks/stare at my facial expression while ‘getting it on’…. If I show any unfcomfortable/pain, he would be very gentle and go slower.

I heard from others people said that majority when ‘men’ have sex, they would close their eyes and concentrated on how it feels.
BUT my hubby is different. He keeps have his eyes open and stare at my facial expression the whole time, and alot of kissing. I guess he find my face beautiful even during sex?... I am learning to look straight back in his eyes and give him the emotional connection he wants. But it just hard on me.

We just have the ‘vanilla’ sex, nothing out of the ordinary sex between a male and female…. BUT he keep looking at my facial expression while getting it on, it just make me feel Weird/awkward.

I only have 1 sexual partner, that is my husband. There no other man in my life sexually, so I don’t have anyone to compared to him. Sometimes he do the things he do, and make me wonder if other men do it too.
All these is just so new to me, I need time to digest all this. We have sex many many times already, but I still feel awkward when he keep staring at my facial expressions.

Honestly, he sounds more sensitive than some other men! In a good way, I mean. I am not married so I can't give a lot more advice than I already have. Anyone else want to jump in?

I have been with men who look me in the eye or intensely kissed while having sex. That won't happen with casual fling but when there is deep love and attraction of course!

I lost my freaking mind and thought these were two different women posting my bad!!!!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

'misskeena',
Do you have any tips you can give me to make kissing less work on my hubby?
I’m 4’11, and hubby is 6’1 (according to his Driver license) but I think he 6’3 because I seem ridiculously short next to him.
Obviously we can’t even kiss standing normally. Hubby always have to lift me up or bend down, carry me, or I sit on his lap to kiss him. Sometimes he would kneel down on one of his knee, if that help make me feel better of my height.

I'm Not complaining, he is an awesome husband. Yes, my mother disown me after I married him, but I have no regrets.
We went through alot to be together, it wasn't an easy ride for us. My mother disapproval also make it harder, but we make it through. We married now.

Are other men naturally affectionate like this? Or my husband is a weirdo? lol
And we do have a HUGE cultural difference.
I'm Chinese, hubby he African, that is HUGE cultural gap right there. But marriage seem fine so far, he say he happy. The years we dated, he also said he happy.

I hope I snap out of this soon, so I can enjoy my marriage. I just don't know how to give into him 100% on the "emotionally" level. So frustrated for me, Argg!

Yes many other men are affectionate like this, not all but there are many! You are glad you got yourself one!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It's just something you have to condition yourself with because you weren't exposed to it a lot when you were younger.

My boyfriend is the same way. You just have to ask him to take time/stop and when you're ready/feeling better about physical contact do it again. It also helps if you try to initiate things every once in a while, too, and ask him to let you control the level of contact. He sounds like a long-term keeper!

Just remember to keep lines of communication open with him. ;D

Your first threads here on PC were about your bf and him hanging out with people who use drugs and you were worried and also wanting to know the difference about engagement rings and other "types of rings....

Was he this affectionate prior to your wedding? Had never kissed you there before? Did this just start once you said " I do " ?

No way it is him she said he is very unromantic and they weren't even engaged and didn't live together he just bought some cheap rings pretending they are married. She complained how unromantic he was. how is that he turned into being loving husband living together and being that affectionate and romantic. All in few weeks??? Same person? Uh???? What????

On 01/30 he wouldn't even proposed and they live apart but on the 02/06 they live together and are married. What's going on....
No way it is same person

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

To "Christina"

My hubby, he did all these stuff when he was my boyfriend, 'stares at my facial expression during sex", etc.... He did this before. It just now we married so he have more chance of doing it. So now I'm facing it more and more because he is my husband now.
We got married on February 6th, 2015 at a simple and quick City Hall/Courthosue wedding ceremony. With 2 witness": his mother and my older brother.

This was the best route for us, due the circumstances of my Chinese mother disapprove him. I didn’t see a point of a wedding because pretty much nobody on my side of the family gonna show up.

This whole realstionship wasn't easy on us. I have my own emotional baggage, regarding my mother who always emotionally/verbally abusive to me and belittle me in my childhood. It make me have low self-worth as an adult.
And she making it harder on me when she disapprove my then boyfriend, now husband.

btw, Mom have no control over me, she just likes to acts like 'mommy' and boss me around.
I left my mom house when I was 18, and I survived on my own without her help for more than a decade. I'm 30 this year, and mom still try to control my life. From control who I date to who I married.

Mom have not spoke to me eversince I got married to my husband. Even when I call home, she still doesn't want to talk to me. I only talk to my old father over the phone now.
Mother she very stubborn, she won't change. Which is fine, I won't put my life on hold just to wait for her to change her view on my husband.

Excuse me, but what rings we wear is not your business (cheap or not). This is between me and my husband. Don't judge a marriage just based on a ring.

Please read my old thread again alright. In there I said it already. We live in the same neighborhood, we were friends prior to dating. Our apartments are 5 mintues within walking distance from each others. And we do live together prior to marriage.
When we were dating, Live together or not make no difference, when we are in such close distance.

There was No engagement, there wasn’t any official proposal neither. There was no engagement ring.... Back in December, my then boyfriend, now husband started talking about marriage, so we both talked. I told him I didn’t need an engagement ring. And I wanted to get married at a simple & quick CityHall/Courthouse ceremony…. He went along with what I want, so we can get married.

We went ring shopping together, I want the simple gold band rings (hubby prefer silver). But he bought the gold one so I can be happy….
Every couple days he would bring up the sentence: “Baby. If you want, we can go register for marriage tomorrow”….. His “whenever you ready, I’m just waiting on you” attitude talk… If you considered that to be his proposal. We got married on February 6th, 2015,
2 weeks ago at the simple, quick Courthouse ceremony….

When a man said: “Baby. If you want, we can go register for marriage tomorrow”….. --- To you this might not be a proposal, but to others it might be okay.
Husband sure is not romantic, he didn't get down on his knee to propose to me, there was no offcial proposal. So he is NOT romantic.