I always meet weird men

Ok, so I have met several abusers in my life and have because of this a lot of knowledge about narcissist and sociopaths/psychopaths.

Latest year I have been approached by 2-3 men on the street and I am fine with that as long as they have respect and class and dont come off as thinking I might be a hook up. Two of the last 3 men have been bad men, one trying to sexually assault me, then calling me not normal for not wanting sex with him, being a total @ss. The other of these two was normal for hours before showing what he actually had in mind.

I have been very naive, but I am not anymore. Non of these two men got anything from me.

I am still trying, as a survivor of both childhood abuse and adult relationships abuse, to trust myself when I hear weird and odd/unusual comments about things and life from these men I have been approached by. People who are survivors of abuse have told me to RUN when hearing what these men said to me and I agreed totally.

But today another man approched me and after some time I heard many odd comments and views.

Some of them were something like this. I say something like this because the comments were so strange to me that I couldnt grasp what he really meant. Here are some of the things he got to say in half hour.

"People are living like animals" ( when I said I lived alone or that many people live alone ) I said there are a lot of great people that lives alone. Arent you living alone? No i live with my brother ( so he was not an animal???)

"Ladyboys talk like that" ( when I said I am not a woman who texts a guy ( being desperate ) and talk talk talk ( I show my hand gestures making bla bla bla)

After seeming annoyed ( not really showing it ) he said "thats why you are single because you dont let the man have sex before marriage" )

He wanted to provoke a women/girl for not responding to his txts about being friends, so he sent her a text offering 2000nok for friendship, she had resonded right away saying "ok we can be friends".

I mean what kind of man does that instead of just leaving her alone?

At one point, after flattering me, he name called some other women he had seen with their men/husbands for ugly. He reached to say "fat" before I got to ask "do you mean their personality?" Who wants a man anyway who speaks down on women.

before this he had flattered me and said where I had been all his life, did I like him, if you like me I must like him as he is ( not asking how old he is, as I asked how old he is ). It was clear he thought I should be interested. When he found out I was not he was in no way interested in a home life with a woman at all, that life bored him. I said I loved home life with a husband one day. ( not him ) this was just casual talk. It seems like he thought I would bite on his flattering me and just "like him".

I hear weird things like this and I cant say this is all normal. I mean it sounds so odd some of it, if not all of it??

How can I trust myself? what to you think of this?

He sat in the securitas car being at work, I came walking and didnt see him in the car and saw the car starting to roll so I stopped fast and then he stuck his head out the window saying "hi". I asked "Do I know you?". ( I thought he would ask for a street direction or something ). He said he thought I was a turkish girlfriend of him. Oh, I said.

He started with "were are you going? and instisted on driving me to the store around the corner.

Later sitting outside the store he at one point said "I thought you hit on me" ( when I had to stop not being driven over) what???

Sounds almost predatory? Is there any safe way, to walk away from such conversations? Can you decline rides, even ones around the corner, doesn't seem safe.

Thank you, healingme4me, for your opinion. It can not possibly be normal. I dont trust myself so its always good for me to get validation. I know I must try to start trust myself. I think its easy to get confused when hearing such weird things.

I think I am safe, I have not heard anything from him ( he got my phone number and I dont know why I gave it, I think I feel lonely. He is not my type even he was nice to look at.

I said to him I dont usually put myself in a strangers car. He said "I am not a criminal".
But I will not do that again.

I just dont know why I cant trust myself. I both hear and think what he said is absurd and dont know to laugh of some it or not because its so bizarre, yet I doubt myself, which is common for survivors of abuse,

I'm sorry you doubt yourself. All of what he said and did does sound extremely strange to me, also. I think this is more confirmation that you have good instincts even if you need more practice at listening to them!

Thank you, hvert. That you think so too makes me trust myself even more that it really was strange. I do need more practice though.

When I wonder should I trust myself or not, I get a negative feeling inside of me that makes me feel guilty for even thinking this about someone. I am not sure why but its not a good feeling. Maybe this is part of why its so difficult for me. I dont know. Its like I dont trust myself unless someone else tells me its strange.

I seriously hope this does not look like what it seems. You didn't actually get in this guy's car did you? As you posted it sounds like some stranger pulled up and started insisting he take you to the store and I sure hope I'm misunderstanding because in all honesty that is inviting problems hun. Some guy pulls over and starts wanting you to get in his car ummm run away. Run away fast. The context of the things he said are completely irrelevant, he's a creep.

Well never mind I figured out this was the same guy but really if he's creeping you out why would you let him insist on taking you to the store if you did? Get away from this guy. I have no other advice.

Some of us are magnets for losers. Sigh. I commiserate.

NO one is a magnet for losers. the men (or women) with terrible behavior and traits tend to be the ones that come out of the woodwork for everyone. They are busy making themselves seen and trying so hard to get a hook up. Thing is that the problem lies not in who we attract but who we pay attention to. The decent ones that would care and treat another right most likely isn't aren't the most obvious ones in the crowd. They don't have to try so hard.

Ignore the lechers, and look harder for the good ones

S4ndm4n2006, he didnt pull over, he sat in his car at the parking space. When I got close to front of his car he made his car roll forward so I was afraid he would drive over me if I did not stop. I thought he wanted ask for street direction since he sat quiet there.

I know its not good to get into his car, but I said no first, I said its ok I can walk, and then he continue insist and I get problems when someone doesnt hear me the first time. When men start to manipulate or insist even I have said no its ok once or twice I start feel bad about saying no. This is a big problem I have. But I think its his own problem when I say no and he wont listen.

Please please please work on this. this is absolutely imperative for you to overcome. YOU CANNOT let a man manipulate you into doing what you know is not right. There is no ifs ands or buts in my mind. You're lucky so far it hasn't ended up in a very dangerous event!

I think many survivors of abuse are magnets for narcissists and abusers. Its a fact because we dont have the boundaries needed. And the losers smell that long way. unfortunately.

I try work on myself and make strong boundaries. He has already just in this minute starting manipulate me on phone, saying he misses me much and thinks about me, asks me if I miss him. It is clear now that he is manipulating.

I saw him driving past me in town today when I took a long walk around in town, he saw me and said hello from the car and drove further , probably home as he drove in that direction. Now he has started with these texts. I said to him I dont know what to answer him on that.

It got quiet from him. I guess he doesnt like his tactic being twarted.

First question for me would be, do you want any future relationship with this guy? If not, you should make that clear and kindly let him know there is no chance. I am assuming he's not someone you're interested in but just a thorn in your side. I hope you can be successful in making him stop his advances.

My first impression of him was that he was handsome, maybe this was also a reason why I got into his car even I was manipulated. Maybe he would be nice? But when talking with him in the car yesterday my view of him changed. I said in the car yesterday I have it good alone and that of course everyone is looking for someone to love ( I do too ), but I made it clear enough that he should know theres a very little chance for anything to develope between us. This is when he started with saying opposite things that he in no way would want a home life with a woman, that life bored him. It was very clear that we found out we are not a good match in any way. It should be as clear for him as for me after all we got to talk in the car yesterday. We obviously had different values and views about life. Still he liked who I am and said I was very special person ( meaning I had very decided view of life, I have heard that I am special before too, for same reason I am decided and have gotten hard from past abuse ), its because my past experiences has made me hard. I think I can smell manipulators and I think this is why I was very defensive yesterday. I have learned I must be defensive because I have experienced the one manipulator after the other and the red flags show up in this guy too, its all to familar, still I do not trust myself. I smell it when I think they can use me for sex and I get defensive because of past abuse and use.

So I think he really knows, I never answered him yesterday when he said I have to like him, he should know by now I am not really interested. If I am interested a man will know.

Its still quiet so I guess maybe he has took the message or he is planning next manipulative act.

I mean, a man doesnt ask a women if she misses him just out of the blue after a conversation like we had yesterday. I would understand it if I had made some signal to him I was interested. I didnt.

So maybe he stops. We did indeed agreed to be friends yesterday as I said I could be a friend. Everytime I have said to a man we can only be friends or be friends, they have never managed to be friends and just vanishes, wish was fine for me. So for him to send texts asking if I miss him and that he misses me so much and thinks about me, is quite bizarre.

And how could he be actually looking for love when he suddenly throws out he in no way want a home life with a woman and that that kind of life was boring.

He contradicted himself. I guess he didnt get it the way he wanted and so turned around.

Agree that it is really bizarre

Yes..lol