heartbroken and lonely!!!

hi to anyone reading this:

hello. I am very sad because the guy that i was attracted to, i wont see him again. he meant a lot to me. A lot more than i thought he would.
I didn't tell him about my feelings towards him because he had a girlfriend. Now that I know I wont be seeing him again, i heard that he is single now. I have the urge to tell him but I dont know what to do.
For as long as I could remember, I was and still very lonely. I don't have love and I lack of it. I dont know what it feels to rely on someone or depend on somebody. I always kept my feelings to myself and supressed it.
Can someone help me? What should I do? I need advice because this guy is different from any guy that I know of and feel that he is special in his way.
Thank you.
I cry every night thinking that I wont be seeing him again. It depresses me even more than I am already right now.

Hi Blackrose and welcome to PC!

I'm a bit confused, you say in the beginning of your post that you won't see this guy again, but you ask if you should tell him how you feel, so that implies that he is not gone.

When it comes to relationships, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I know it's hard to put yourself out there, wearing your heart on your sleeve when the person you care for could turn around and reject you.

But, if you at least try to connect with him, you may find that he is interested. And that would be a good thing right? And, if he isn't interested in the way you are in him, at least you gave it a try. You won't kick yourself for not trying. You will be able to say you tried and then you can move on. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Good luck!

Hugsssss
J

Sabau, I am going to respectfully offer a different point of view from yours, even though I generally agree with you.

There are appropriate and inappropriate levels of self-disclosure in relationships. Disclosing "I have deep feelings for you" if the relationship hasn't progressed to that point can be scary and off-putting for the other person. It sounds like there has been a layoff in this relationship, and it's time to go out for coffee, to a movie, a walk in the park, and get some read on whether the other person has any interest at all in letting things develop. Especially if this man has been hurt, he may not be ready for someone new just yet.

Hey Wants

Very good points you make. Maybe I should have worded my reply differently. I certainly didn't mean that she should tell him about the feelings she has for him right off.

Thanks for clearning that up Wants

Hugsssssss
J

Well said Wants..

Depending on someone is one of those grey areas. Generally we have certain expectations of what this may mean. It might be a good time to explore what it means for you...

I bring it up as if that person doesn't meet what you mean by depend on - you may be left disappointed. I've kind of learned the hard way and have changed what depends means for me.