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#26
Jul 12, 2015, 05:50 PM
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I was a barista for 13 years, up until this past year. Being friendly, flirty, motherly IS the job - what kind of tipper are you? Do you tip well? We baristas depend a great lot on our tips as income and you bet we're friendly about getting tips
 Watch out - you might just wind up outing yourself from your favorite coffee spot. Don't be a creep. Old creeps frequent coffeehouses and every barista knows it. As an aside, I've been married for 30 years to a man 16 years my senior. While we did raise two wonderful children, our marriage is messy. The age difference really wasn't that big of a deal at first, but as the years have passed the generational discrepancy is a major issue. And as I look back I wonder WHAT on EARTH was with a 34 year old man who asked an 18 year old girl out? EW. no wonder my family was alarmed! What was with him was, he never matured past the age of about 25. To this day my husband lives on his wealthy family's income. How old are you mentally, emotionally? |
 Bill3
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#27
Jul 12, 2015, 07:17 PM
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#28
Jul 12, 2015, 08:25 PM
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#29
Jul 12, 2015, 10:24 PM
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Well I'm aware of all the issues - I probably am older than her parents. However, I'm not sure if I want to wait around for another opportunity - this one seemed real. I'm disappointed because it probably ain't gonna happen - my history is one of not acting and that just makes you a bitter old man. I guess I'm partially relieved because I don't really want anybody to be my caretaker but then again there are no guarantees that I'll ever get in this situation again. I don't know what is right or wrong -I just know it would be nice to be having dinner with her right now.
Last edited by Macd123; Jul 13, 2015 at 02:15 AM. |
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#30
Jul 13, 2015, 06:34 AM
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You could potentially have a dinner with someone. Just keep putting yourself out there Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| unaluna
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#31
Jul 13, 2015, 05:05 PM
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#32
Jul 13, 2015, 05:11 PM
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I think he said he did and she had a boyfriend Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#33
Jul 13, 2015, 05:20 PM
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| Shadix
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#34
Jul 13, 2015, 09:30 PM
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I've talked to her since - it would be nice to be her friend but I don't know if I can do that. Sad but it looks like we're just going to be acquaintances - I have enough of those thank you very much.
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#35
Jul 13, 2015, 11:00 PM
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#36
Jul 13, 2015, 11:37 PM
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#37
Jul 13, 2015, 11:38 PM
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#40
Jul 14, 2015, 05:00 AM
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Lol Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#41
Jul 14, 2015, 07:25 AM
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Mac, things would be a bit different except that you keep seeming to miss the main point:
She's a barista. Her job is to be very friendly. That is literally what she is paid to do. The chance of her wanting a relationship or a friendship from someone that she sees regularly at work is very slim. The relationship that you feel there is... it isn't genuine. Is there a chance it could be? Sure, it does happen. But it's very slim. The further the age difference the slimmer it will be, because most people (any gender, age, dating-preferences) don't tend to form relationships (friendships or dating) with people outside of a relative age-range to themselves. Should it leave you bitter? No. You misread a situation. That happens. It's ok that it happens. Feeling disappointment is totally natural.... but bitter? She's doing her job, and hasn't done anything wrong at all. You just happen to be in a minority for dating preferences. You'll be more likely to have positive results if you find ways to connect with women closer in your age range.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| *Laurie*, divine1966, eeyorestail, scorpiosis37, Trippin2.0
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#42
Jul 14, 2015, 07:38 AM
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| Bill3
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#43
Jul 14, 2015, 08:22 AM
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#44
Jul 14, 2015, 12:51 PM
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When said man is so childish that he eventually leaves his wife and kids to move back to the home in which he grew up, in the town he grew up in, you tell me where there's a problem 
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 RainyDay107
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| Trippin2.0
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#45
Jul 14, 2015, 12:55 PM
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If the guy just asks the girl out and she refuses the situation could be so awkward that the guy no longer feels comfortable frequenting that coffee spot. Thus, he might lose his favorite hang-out. Think about the possibilities. None of them are likely to end up good for the older man. |
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#46
Jul 14, 2015, 01:19 PM
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#47
Jul 14, 2015, 01:35 PM
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I didn't say I was poor - in fact I'm fairly affluent. I have a fat pension and a substantial investment portfolio so I'm not irresponsible. And I did talk about going out with her - that's when I found out she had a boyfriend. And this was not a spur of the moment thing - we've been exchanging life experiences for months. The boyfreind thing was a surprise because she has shared a lot of personal information with me - that's why I thought it would be okay even though it's her workplace.
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#48
Jul 14, 2015, 01:37 PM
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I wonder, if the genders were reversed, and it was an older woman showing interest in a younger male barista, would anyone be calling her a creep and suggesting she should be kicked out of the coffee shop? |
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#49
Jul 14, 2015, 01:47 PM
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Also, what does being attracted to 25 year olds have to do with being careless and irresponsible? I fail to see the association. It's not like 25 year olds are teens, 25 year olds are often married with careers. So being "mentally 25" doesn't really equate to being irresponsible or careless.
What's funny is that if this was about a 25 year old male trying to hook up with a 19 year old female, people would be portraying the 25 year old as a "mature adult man who is not on the same level as the naive teen girl." But when it's an older male trying to get with a 25 year old female, the 25 year old is a young immature girl and the older man is immature for being interested in her. |
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#50
Jul 14, 2015, 01:47 PM
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Wait..did I miss something?? She's been sharing "personal information" and it didn't include the boyfriend? That sounds odd to me.
I guess if you don't mind being a sugar daddy, you can find someone way younger than you, but why? You mentioned something about a caregiver? I'm so confused. Well, anyway, hang in there, you will meet someone. 
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| *Laurie*
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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