Needing Words of Wisdom

I've joined the formum with hopes to gain insight on how to live with someone who is diagnosed with OCPD, but is reluctant to see the disorders effect on her relationships. I'm interested in learning how I can support and love myself but still love this person I plan on spending my life with. Our relationship and our future matters to me more than anything. Members with words of wisdom are welcome to send them.

Hello nyule and welcome to the forums.

Although I don't have any personal insight to offer, I am glad you found these forums. There are a lot of supportive people here who can give you an idea of what these disorders are like firsthand that may give you some ideas to support and help your friend. It may also be a good place for support for yourself through the process to help you understand it better and to better cope with living with him.

If you don't find much response here after a few days, you may also want to check the "personality place" forum under "mental health".

Good luck. Your friend is fortunate to have someone in his life who wants to understand about his illness and help support him.

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--http://www.idexter.com

I would suggest finding a video called "OCD: the war inside"
I watched this film in my Dynamics of Human Behaviour class and found it to be very informative. I don't know if it'll be available in movie stores, but you might try your local Library. If not, your local Collage/University library is very likely to carry it.

Here's a brief description of the movie:

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/14522/98195>http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/14522/98195</A>

THINK TWICE about this relationship... specially if you love yourself. I've been married for almost 13 years and it doesn't get better. As they get older it gets worse, specially when they don't accept there is something wrong with them.
My husband is like the guy from Sleeping with the Enemy. If everything is not perfect, squared, lined up, etc. I find myself in living hell, and believe me... it wasn't nearly as bad at the beginning, and it gets worse every day. LOVE YOURSELF more than the other person, that is not being selfish, that is being smart... it is very hard to escape from a relationship like this one, specially as time goes by... I know I wish I had the courage.

gab

Hello nyule

Heres my take on your problem. First off be sure your in love with this person. I think you can love a person but not be "In love". Sometimes we can confuse love with pitty or many other things. For ex. my brother married someone that was his first love. They broke up for some time prier to the marrage and he seemed so happy. I think he got back with her because there was a comfort he was us to when he is with her but as far as being in love "NOPE".

As far as OCPD, Don't you worry to much about that hon. We all have are problems. OCPD is just like any other disorder. You can rate it on a scale from 1to 10. 1 being not so bad and 10 being the worst. Just like any other disorder, it can change from day to day, week to week, month to month and year to year.

If you love your partner, be supportive. Take it from me, things can get better. My husband met me at my worst. I was a train reck. But he saw something in me worth fighting for. We had real hard times and broke up many times. We still can't beleave we got through it all.Now were in a place that things couldn't get better. He's wonderful.

I have OCD and many other things. My OCD was real bad as a child. Things got better and when I grew up, it came and went. Everyone is differant. Some people never get much better and others do. Its just something that has to be taken seriously and is treatable. I'm doing great on my meds and am so glad my husband stood by me and never gave up hope.

If your in love and want to spend your life with this person, give all the support you can. But yes, do love your self and take care of both of you. Things can get better in time. The right support and understanding can go a long way. Read up on the illness and make sure your partner gets the right help.

Good luck
Jacqui :-))

I was in a relationship with a person with OCPD for many years. He had a tender heart and was a very loving person. Mostly, in the relationship, I had to get used to his fears. For instance, if you touched him a certain way, you'd have to do it again and again exactly the same way until he felt it was done exactly right. For some reason, this didn't bother me. I accepted all his peculiarities as if they were the most normal thing in the world, and eventually he stopped exhibiting so much. I still don't understand what's it's like inside the head of a person with OCPD, and probably never will. But I tried to be compassionate, understanding, and kind, without taking anything away from myself. We eventually broke up for reasons not related to his OCPD. He has since married, and according to him, things are going pretty well. He has always been able to hold a job, although he changed jobs a lot, He did have to go to anger management when he found himself faced with a jealous ex-husband. His parents have a hard time with his problem, and I think that's unfortunate, because their 100% support would be beneficial. Don't know if this helps, but it's all I know about it.

Choices, it's all about choices.