Opinion. Drunk friend hit me.... but he doesnt remember... what should i do??

This is going to sound silly but I am torn on what to do. I went to a family friendly Christmas party over the holidays... One of my really good male friends got super drunk (the only one at the party that was heavily drinking)(I myself was not drinking) and he got completely wasted (there happened to be like 20 children there). I was having an innocent conversation with a girlfriend of mine about her daughters stuffed toy that she got for Christmas. The questions was... did it look like a kitty cat or a doggy? My drunk male friend walked over and I asked him his opinion..... (which is when I realized how drunk he was) and he took the stuffed toy out of my hand and hit me across the face. Not only did the toy hit me but his hand hit me too. I was humiliated and started crying and walked off to cool down. When I went back ... he was using vulgar language and asked me what the F*** was wrong with me. When I explain to him what he did.... he said "Oh like this" and hit me again. I was mortified that he would do that... especially infront of a bunch of people. I told him to never speak to me again... dont text.. dont call. The next morning he had no recollection of what happened. I feel like I hate him for what he did... but I also feel like if he wasnt drunk he would have never done that. I have been friends with this person for about 8 years.. and never seen him act this way. My question is... do I let it go... and forgive... or do I stay away and forget a friendship. what would you do in this situation?

He hits you on a face twice? I am not friends with people who hit others. Let alone men who hit women.

I also wouldn't be friends with people who get wasted at events that involve young children. Use profanity and get into fights with women. Ugh

My ex is an alcoholic. But even he never got wasted at family events or in fact any public events where it could be embarrassing and he never hit no one even if very drunk. My suggestion is find better friends than this!

I would stay far away from such people. It's just me maybe but that's just unacceptable. I'd run and run fast

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NO way. Being drunk does not give anyone license to behave in such an aggressive, inappropriate, and WRONG manner. I would stay away and forget the friendship. You're entitled to hate him. I like your "dont text...dont call" idea. Heck I'd block his number to be honest.

ok question though.... he has never done this before. I am wondering if something happened that I am unaware of to make him feel something that he needed to cover it with alcohol. I am not saying to be his friend on a regular basis again, but what if he is going through something and he needs to talk? I am in no way justifying what he did... but accidents do happen (he wasnt in his right mind..) and I am pretty sure he is embarrassed about it now. He has been keeping his distance as he knows I am very hurt and angry... You think he could learn a lesson form this seeing at it was a first time (well that i know of.. known him for a long time)

An old friend from school used to display horrible manners when drunk.. I (and others around the friend) got drinks spilled on and endured the one or the other slaps. The person became out of control. We were not very close (even though we shared the same circle of friends), but I ended up driving the friend home a few times when nobody else would. Never heard a thank you, or got an apology since the friend barely remembered what happened Didn't expect it though. Just hoped the amount of alcohol consumption would change at some point ( it did). What I initially did was to let them know of their behavior, but I essentially moved on and tried to avoid being in said friend's company in the future (which was not easy, because it was a very small town)

When you aren't feeling well and suffering about something, you don't go to family parties where there are 20 kids and get wasted.

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I certainly wouldn't excuse his behavior. He should be held accountable. I can't tell you whether or not you should continue to be friends. But if you told him what happened, and he didn't freak out a apologize like crazy, then I would seriously consider never being friends again.

When he says he does not remember that's probably true.
Is he a secret alcoholic?
It's up to you if you remain friends.
Tho. That sort of behaviour is not acceptable.
He will hate himself now.

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So, based on what you're sharing with us, there was no precedent for his behavior. He has never shown himself to be a heavy drinker in social/public settings? He has never been rude or inappropriate when sober or when having consumed a few drinks? If he has concerns he needs to get support for, he should probably go to a therapist or an AA meeting. I agree that he really should take responsibility (regardless of whether or not he remembers), apologize profusely, and beg forgiveness from you. You would need to then decide whether this person is worth having in your life or not. Minimally, to go forward, I would recommend avoiding him when he has been drinking, no matter the amount; you could let him know this in advance: "If I see that you have been drinking, I will either ask you to leave or leave myself." or something to that effect. My sense is that if he did this to you, he will eventually do it to someone else.

he did apologize for his behavior and i think he was embarrassed for what happened... and seeing as i told him to never call, talk or message me again... he hasnt... but I know the type of person he is (or at least I thought) and he is probably sitting around feeling like **** and wants to talk but to nervous or worried to call.
I am stuck.. as i know he probably learned a valuable lesson... he does not get wasted like this in public settings... nor friendly... that I have seen. he is a social drinker but not a an alcoholic that i know of. hes been a friend for a long time... and its hard to just give up... knowing it was a mistake. Could of happened to anyone who got carried away once... but at the same time... I cant be positive it wont happen again. I am feeling like we could stay acquaintances.... you know hello here and there... but not the regular hang outs. .. just feeling a tad sad about the whole situation. Hard to just turn a friend off just like that...

I don't know, maybe you should give him a second and LAST chance? How do you feel about that?

He's walking on thin ice, so if he crosses the line again, it's over.

That´s what I am going over in my head... a second chance...but I just cant make up my mind... as I see him totally different now. I always saw him as a friend I could trust that would never hurt me... now... that trust is gone.... I dont know if I can get it back..... just a hard hard thing to get over....

I'd walk away.

Unless he guarantees he will NEVER drink again.

Maybe this sounds severe, but for someone who acts like that, there is no such thing as accepting moderate social drinking. He's proven himself to be violent when he drinks.

But, I can pretty much guarantee you that he'd never agree to not drink again. People get blinded into this "moderation" crap when the truth is that while some people are happy drinkers, others are violent drinkers. Violent drinkers should give it up totally or live with the consequences.

Why are you humiliated? And what's wrong with the people at this party that no one reacted appropriately and told him to leave, after the first hit?

He's not a friend. He has serious hostility toward you that he managed to hide when he was sober. You could have called police and had him arrested. You didn't, which was a gift to him. Forgiveness is something you think about after a person expresses remorse. He can't because he doesn't even remember doing this.

Have absolutely nothing to do with this guy when he is drinking. Never be alone with him. If this is your idea of a friend, keep the friendship. Myself, I would have nothing to do with this guy again. Even if I forgave him. I'm not in this world to be a punching bag for anyone.

Of all the people there, he picked out you to assault. Why you? He has zero respect for you . . . ZERO.

I agree with Rose on why wasn't anyone else protecting you? Why party hosts didn't escort him out?

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It's important that you let him know about his horrible behaviour. And for your safety - keep a distance.

I agree with both Rose and divine and everyone else in this thread.

I had the same type of friend except he was drunk and high. He pulled this crap at a party. First kicked me then hit me. I would have thought about giving him a second chance, but he made that decision for me when he hit me a second time.

To answer the thread question - what you should do is, figure out why you are co-dependent on this person who has problems and is mean to you. Anyone else in your life like that? A parent? Read Melody Beatty. Dont worry about fixing him - fix you.

I would tell him the next time I saw him, that he is lucky you didn't have him arrested.

We have spoken.... he has apologized. We both understand that things are not the same anymore... and I feel he will be keeping his distance. I think he is ashamed of what happened... he said that he was intending to joke around (by hitting me with the fluffy toy) but didnt realized how hard the hit was.... I asked him about the second time... and he says he doesnt remember... so for me... I am not ok. I will still say hello here and there if I see him around... but I will stay a safe distance.

That friendship would be over for me, period. Drinking lowers inhibitions, but it doesn't cause people to do something completely out of character, IMO. I used to be a heavy drinker and I also have dated plenty of heavy drinkers/alcoholics. I personally feel like being drunk is something people use as an excuse to try to get out of something they've done wrong. If a friend ever assaulted me they wouldn't be a friend of mine anymore. I don't know your friend's motivation but if it happened to me I would feel like there was an inherent disrespect for me - or all women - that had to be present in him for him to do that.

That's all pfrog has to say about that!

This sounds like a crock o' bull to me. You see . . . he's finding a way to not take responsibility. This guy has some hostility seething under the surface, and the alcohol simply let the mask slip away, so it became revealed. His life is going in a bad direction. Down the line, you will hear of him being in more trouble.

This is a guy who tests people's limits . . . to see what they'll tolerate. He has some real contempt for you. Being a "friend" to you is just not within his capability. Do keep your distance. If he sees an opening, he will test you again.

Hitting someone on a face with a toy as a joke is a very dumb thing. What's he, a child?

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