The other night. No judgement please.

He might be a little dangerous but after the 2nd paragraph i wrote about how certain things i had said before may have given him the wrong idea. i'm not very convinced he is experienced. I did work on processing things and am aware it may not work out. I am just confused.I don't understand being so angry to rush to see me. It reminds me of past abusive exes but worse. I had a dream i posted about on here about a certain ex attacking me. And,this guy,i've had in my head kind of reminds me of that ex..they have similar qualities...this guy is classier,and sweeter,and has more high end work and is "cooler" but there's a lot of similarities,it's actually kind of creepy.

The ex,i'll call him S,also had a nerdish to him. S only met me once but seemed obsessed with me after,and had a certain quality that just seemed off.He got angry easily and looked like he wanted to hit me once. He actually criticized me too which no guy ever did. He technically had the same job that is more of a hobby as this guy except he was very bad at it and amateur. S was more of a jock and didn't drink and very clingy and wanted a relationship and very forceful but less forceful then this guy. S always made me feel bad about myself and i never wanted to have sex with and i resented him for making me the first time. We fought a lot. S was stalkerish and drove past my house before despite living like 15-20 minutes away and got jealous easily. S was close to my height(i'm kind of tall) but a little taller.

Guy now,is more stylish and classy,and i actually like him. He doesn't have that off quality S had. He has more respect in what he does as a job and is very high end and talented even though it's technically more of a hobby. This guy is obsessed with my beauty and flaws and my flaws are my favorite thing of his. S made me feel ugly,and this guy makes me feel so beautiful and sexy. This guy was actually more forceful and somehow even felt stronger then S,though S is more of a jock which is weird,but i think it's because I also have been physically weaker lately and also S didn't hold me down as hard. When this guy held me down the other morning,it paralled both abusive guys from my past,S being on of them. This guy is also very clingy and rushing to see me like S except this guy seems even angrier when i don't want to rush.This guy is way more romantic in things he has said to me where as S acted more like chauvinistic buffoon. This guy is younger and has it more together with job and money and and doesn't seem like he'd ever be cheap whereas S seemed chivalrous,sure but like the type to be cheap.This guy seemed more like he'd take care of me not just in paternal ways but even doing things for me like i'm a princess whereas S would be the type to make sexist jokes and probably want a woman to clean and get turned on by it. This guy has a much more polite type demeanor whereas S seemed the type no one would like. S didn't seem to have a lot of friends. This guy seems to have a very small knit group of people. S showed his jealousy,this guy doesnt. Guy now also developed a crush on me after meeting me once. This guy has anger flareups but i've only seen them in text thus far. this guy is also only a little taller then me but taller but is slightly taller then S. Even their physical features,although different ethnicities,there are similar qualities. Both guys seem very peverted but S was peverted about all women whereas this guy only shows he is about me.

I'm just wondering why you keep posting here if you don't listen to what anyone says anyway. You don't even consider any of the reactions, all you do is defend this guy who everyone tells you is no good.

Why? Just the fact that you keep posting new topics about this guy should be a big clue to you. You KNOW this isn't right! Stop making up excuses for him and stay away from this guy!

Experienced or not..... NO MEANS NO! You said you made it clear that there would be no sex....PERIOD! No offense, but I agree with Breakforthelight... You keep posting, defending this guy, and not really listening to sound advice that you asked for on here! You said no- he did it anyway! That my friend is rape. Experience? Doesn't matter- we all know right from wrong. Take the advice on here, STAY AWAY! No judgement here- just concern!

You don't know if he watches porn? All that forceful description sounds like it. One doesn't just get the impression that it's the norm without some medium.

Curious, alcohol with candy?

My take on him wanting to be there everyday is like an addiction.

You don't know about his family life, yet?

Is this more like a lifestyle choice for you? I'm wondering if this isn't more a Sexuality and Identity type of post?

It really doesn't come accross as though there's safety concerns, just the r word tossed around, yet without emotional distress over it, so it comes accross kinda bdsm.

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No,i had concerns. That's why i didn't respond to his text. That's why I felt nervous. I've been sick lately. I've been having heart palpitations and feeling physically weaker. when he was on top of me not letting me go,i was considered for my physical well being that he would stress my heart out.

Besides,we didn't have sex. He didn't get that.

You are sending him mixed messages. You allow way too much to go on sexually.

Is there a reason he didn't get sex? I knew a woman in college that in efforts to maintain her "virginity" she'd do everything but that. Was she, I wondered really a virgin?

Why all the alcohol if you're concerned, then?

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He grabbed your throat. That's not inexperienced. It's one of two things. Either way, porn is involved.

Is having a sweetheart on Valentine's day what's driving you to keeping him around? Of course he's texting and wanting to see you daily,

You mentioned that it's not a rejection of him. Is there something about his mental health that you know?

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Anyways,i've kind of detached from things now. I've always just felt a compulsion to understand things and was just very confused. Understanding makes me feel i can heal quicker. I also was confused why he would be so mad i didn't answer his one text because ever since he is acting like we are over and that hurts. He didn't ignore any of my texts but was distant and then it seemed like he was feigning interest in what i was talking about so it made me upset,so then today,i overreacted saying he should just not talk to me and bye and he said whatever. I asked what does he even like about me because i wanted to hear if he likes things about my personality,and my soul since i don't really hear about that ever from him. I told him i don't get it and am lost and confused and that doesn't he care we finally seen each other and he said yes he does care and omg and he wanted to see me again and that he always wants to see me and that i never respond. And now he didn't respond to my last texts asking what does he like about me and that did i just imagine he was at my place or not. So,he ignored me. I looked later at my texts and realized i overreacted,though and look like i randomly went psycho on him.

however,some good came from all this. I sort of had a personal spiritual epiphany and breakthrough about things that's really going to better me so i have to be grateful to him for that. He inspired that in me. He said i always push him away and tonight he made me feel like i'm difficult which really hurt so it made me have a major breakthrough. I know things will get better for me and I need to just be positive.

Dont know what you mean.

Because,I didn't want to have sex that soon with him. i'm not one of those people who plays by rules and i told him that. i've had sex on the first date before,and past the 4rth date. I just do what feels right. I had wanted to get to know him a little better because of little things before I had sex. I just didn't feel for him personally, i wanted sex to happen on the 2nd date. And,it didn't. As for all the alcohol,i like drinking. It's fun. I don't drink a lot but sometimes i do and i like it.

You are leading him on. Whether you are inexperienced, or he is, Decide if you want to see him or not.

And this should be in the sexuality forum.

Alcohol with candy? Idk i knew he'd bring alcohol and i wouldn't want him over with us sober because i like having a little bit to drink on dates,and it'd be the at home version of us going out for drinks. As for candy? Idk is that weird? Now,i feel odd. I had two big boxes of candy so was trying to be cute and funny so told him i had skittles when i switched the plan for him to come by instead of us going out and texted him a picture of the box. I also had sour patches. I told him multiple times i was nervous for him to come by my house because i've never had guys over in that dating type sense and what would we even do and stressed because i couldn't figure out how to turn tv on before he got there so we could watch a movie(i don't really watch much tv) so little things like that,he knew i was stressed and planning a normal,casual time of hanging out where we could kiss,talk,watch movies,and drink a little and that i was nervous to have a guy in my apartment

I don't think so. I think me wanting to keep him around was because of I wanted someone. Not just for valentine's day. I found him attractive and i thought it'd be fun and he makes me feel really beautiful and sexy. What two things is it that he grabbed my throat? What's not a rejection of him? I am not sure about his mental health. As far as I know,he is mentally stable but i mean,based on how he's shown me his little hmm qualities,i'd say he has some issues.

I thought about putting it in there when i originally made the post,but it didn't seemed like it fit. It seemed more relationships and communication. I did want to see him. I thought that's what the plan was. I just wanted space to process things because he made me nervous. I don't see how i'm leading him on. i ignored ONE text and ever since he is acting like he is done with me. It hurts. It sounds weird to me to spend over 12 hours with someone you still don't know well and then a few hours later later,go back and see them again, It's just not my style. Plus,he made me nervous. Part of me did wonder,if i was at HIS place,and because we didn't have sex YET,if he'd try to make it happen then. He made me more nervous in the morning when he was sober then he even did at night when he was drinking. I have been physically weaker and my heart has had heart palpitations so i was worried about him stressing me out too much.

It was written in your original. It's power or fetish.

You wrote that your not wanting this to be daily is not a rejection of him.

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Yeah,it's not. I find it strange to see someone daily. i feel like that should happen when you are really,really,really close with someone. What's power or fetish?

Ideally,i only wanted to kiss and maybe some intense making out and to just find out i was attracted to him or not since i wasnt sure. He was really hot when he walked in my door. From there,i thought we could confirm what we both want. A relationship. And,then from there move forward and have another date next week and be seeing only each other. The next date,i would've wanted out of the house. So,some things i got. We didn't have sex. I did find out im attracted to him. He brought up the relationship question asking me if we could and talking future dates. A lot went well. That's why im so upset.

I find it hard to believe there's that it's common for people to start seeing every moment with each other right away.

I'm just very confused. Is that really what people do?

Well, when someone grabs your neck in bed, they do so because they find it sexually arousing.(fetish)
Although when someone grabs you neck in bed to gain compliance in bed it can be an act of aggression. (Power)

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How'd you originally meet, again?

Of course you are upset, since you were clear with him how you wanted to proceed and he pushed the bounds. Cuddling first, in bed, all night with being clear that it was just to be held and kissed without the digital or oral penetration. Sounds like he didn't respect your expectations.
These days it's taught that even if sharing a bed, that it's supposed to be consensual every step of the way, is it not?

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I wouldn't mix candy with wine. Wine has enough sugar in it. With hard liquor maybe because liquor is bitter. Beer, I don't know something starchy goes better.


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They don't unless something unhealthy is occurring in the relationship.

Is he professing love?

Or is it the thrill of conquest for him?

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