My younger sister and I got into a fight the other day while I was visiting her and my parents. We got along OK for awhile up until now. We've had a lot of issues with each other in the past. She recently snapped at me, so I got mad and defended myself.

Anyways, things were fine at first. We had fun at first. She made me laugh, but then she snapped at me like she normally does. She snapped at me after it was time for me to pay her for doing my hair.. She tends to lash out at people, especially me when she's stressed out. She gets annoyed with me very easily for the lamest things. For example, she told me about our old neighbor. I asked her one or two questions about him. She then told me that I ask to many questions. That's typical of her. She'll talk about stuff for awhile and be chatty, but then a few minutes later she'll tell me that she doesn't want me to talk so that she can concentrate. So I didn't talk at all.

After she did my hair, she lost it. She called me paranoid just for checking the price on things. I don't trust her after all the shady stuff she's done to me and other people. After she called me paranoid, she then told me that I don't know how to add just because I made one mistake the first time. I then figured it out. She was right. She told me that she calculated things 3 times. After she called me paranoid, she then told me that I don't know how to add just because I made one mistake the first time. I then figured it out. She was right. She told me that she calculated things 3 times. Despite her being so rude and nasty to me, I left her a 20% tip which she didn't even thank me for! I then told her that it's only common courtesy to do so.

Despite her being so rude and nasty to me, I left her a 20% tip which she didn't even thank me for! I then told her that it's only common courtesy to do so. She then told me that I know how she feels. Whatever, lol. I then got upset that she wouldn't even give me a free sample of anything. She has given me full sized products in the past for free. I didn't expect that, but anything would be nice. Especially since I gave her a ton of free makeup, and it was good mostly expensive stuff too!

She then told me that I know how she feels. Whatever, lol. I then got upset that she wouldn't even give me a free sample of anything. She has given me full sized products in the past for free. I didn't expect that, but anything would be nice. Especially since I gave her a ton of free makeup, and it was good mostly expensive stuff too!

I then got mad and told her to eff off. She then told me that I have issues. Later I texted her that night to apologize for telling her off, but she was out of line and owes me an apology too. She never apologized to me. I then told her that she's a narcissistic person with a strong sense of entitlement. She then went on to insult me after I told her that she needs to get help. She told me that I'm stupid, that I'm the one who's projecting and that way, that I have issues, that other people think badly of me, that I'm insecure, unhappy, and she even went so far to mention a secret that I told her about my marriage.

She then told me that my husband married me for a green card. We've been married for over 20 years, so that's not the case. She then sent me a poop emoji and laughed at what I said and said, here's a shiny piece of poop award for you. She was probably pissed that I told her that she missed out on an all expenses paid trip to the Caribbeans that mom & dad would've funded with my husband and I. I knew that she'd ruin the whole trip for me, so I didn't let her come with us. She never knew that until I told her that. I bet that really hurt her bad.

It's her fault since she was very mean and nasty to me most of the time during a family trip to Europe. She fought a lot with my dad and took out most of her stress out on me. She kisses my moms but for free meals, clothes, and to pay for her beauty supplies. She cuts my moms hair and does her nails for free. I only get stuff half off. It's not worth it to save money and to deal with her abuse. She keeps me waiting quite a bit at times too.

My regular stylist is nice, and she cuts my hair good. I'll just need a good colorist and someone who can do a good job straightening my hair. She was stressed about not being able to find work or clients at her new place. She is also having some weird breakout issues with her hands and back acne that she can't get rid of. She doesn't like her skin or hair that much. Her skin is bad, and even my friend told me wow, she looks like she's a lot older than you when she saw her pic. I'm older by 4 years, but I look no older than 30. She told me that I have nice skin and thick hair. I always thought that her hair was nicer looking than mine and it's not really thin IMHO. Her skin is bad though. Not being mean, just saying.

So, what should I do? Should I just avoid her from now on for good? What would you do? I think that it's better for me to stay the hell away from her for good. BTW, she could also resent me since my mom won't get to control my dads will once he's gone. She'll just take everything from her as my mom is naive and to trusting when it comes to her. So I will control her financial future, lol! I hope that my husband won't have access to the will as even he can be manipulated by her. She's that good. She can't fool me though.

I'm not evil, so I'll get her a used car if I have to. She'll be completely humiliated, lol! No more luxury cars for her when I'm in control! She'll also be put on a budget. She'll probably suck up to me and be all fake nice then, but I won't be deceived. If she is mean to me, it will come out of her budget, LOL! She'll get some stuff, but she'll burn through everything really fast.

She knows about my issues with depression, anxiety, panic (almost don't have that issue anymore thanks to med). Still struggling with depression mostly. I used to have an eating disorder and low self esteem too. She always told me that I'm to sensitive. She thinks I'm weak and she's strong. I got over the eating disorder years ago. And my self esteem is better than it used to be, but I'm not always confident.

She then told me that my husband married me for a green card. We've been married for over 20 years, so that's not the case. She then sent me a poop emoji and laughed at what I said and said, here's a shiny piece of poop award for you. She was probably pissed that I told her that she missed out on an all expenses paid trip to the Caribbeans that mom & dad would've funded with my husband and I. I knew that she'd ruin the whole trip for me, so I didn't let her come with us. She never knew that until I told her that. I bet that really hurt her bad.

It's her fault since she was very mean and nasty to me most of the time during a family trip to Europe. She fought a lot with my dad and took out most of her stress out on me. She kisses my moms but for free meals, clothes, and to pay for her beauty supplies. She cuts my moms hair and does her nails for free. I only get stuff half off. It's not worth it to save money and to deal with her abuse. She keeps me waiting quite a bit at times too.

So, what should I do? Should I just avoid her from now on for good? I think that it's better for me to stay the hell away from her for good. BTW, she could also resent me since my mom won't get to control my dads will once he's gone. She'll just take everything from her as my mom is naive and to trusting when it comes to her. So I will control her financial future, lol! I hope that my husband won't have access to the will as even he can be manipulated by her. She's that good. She can't fool me though. Or my dad anymore. He told me that she snaps at him, my mom, and her current b.f sometimes. He also said that she'll take the money and run as well as burn through it all right away. He said that she'll leave nothing to my mom who she supposedly cares about, and definitely not me even though she told me that she'll make sure that I get my fair share.

She is not a trustworthy person. I'm sure that she'll take whatever money my mom is left for herself mostly and then ignore her. I guess she thinks that it's my turn to take care of her when my dad is gone. I live far away, but she acts like I don't care about them since I don't take care of them. It's not as if I can drive 7 hours down there every time they need anything. They can function just fine usually. All she does is drive them to Drs. appointments and a few times she cleaned up after my dad when he had accidents after a few surgeries. That was only because of certain surgeries. He told me to get a good lawyer. Maybe she knows this as she did see the will. Perhaps that might explain some of her resentment towards me.

I'm not evil, so I'll get her a used car if I have to. She'll be completely humiliated, lol! No more luxury cars for her when I'm in control! She'll also be put on a budget. She'll probably suck up to me and be all fake nice then, but I won't be deceived. If she is mean to me, it will come out of her budget, LOL! She'll get some stuff, but she'll burn through everything really fast.

She knows about my issues with depression, anxiety, panic (almost don't have that issue anymore thanks to med). Still struggling with depression mostly. I used to have an eating disorder and low self esteem too. She always told me that I'm to sensitive. She thinks I'm weak and she's strong. I got over the eating disorder years ago. And my self esteem is better than it used to be, but I'm not always confident.

I can't see her again as she is toxic and abusive. I told her that I'm done with her. And I mean it this time. I doubt that she even cares though. I feel hurt, angry, betrayed, and depressed. I tried hard to nice to her. I did say and do a few mean things in the past when she provoked me, but I was never mean to her when she left me alone.

She's had a lot of problems with finances, bad boyfriends. A few even hit her once or twice. She sucker punched me once years ago and cut up my face that left me scarred for months. I also ended up with a very bruised face for a long time too. I wanted to call the cops, but my parents and husband stopped me as they didn't want her to get into trouble. She's been in lots of trouble before. She even went to jail once for hitting her ex b.f back after he hit her.

She is bipolar and unmedicated. She never really got help. She is a narcissist with a strong side of entitlement. My dad still pays for her Lexus. He was helping her out with her rent every once in awhile. She avoids him since they constantly butt heads about money. I will admit that he's cheap and controlling, so I give her that.

Sorry that this turned into a novel!

Oh, and my mom did not stick up for me. She was more concerned about waking up her b.f who was sleeping. She is always making excuses for her. She tells me that she is under a lot of stress. That doesn't give her the right to treat me badly though. I told her that you can't treat people like crap then expect them to love you. I really wanted to have a relationship with her, but I feel as if it's a lost cause. She has zero respect for me and she thinks that I don't deserve any. She blocked me after getting the last word in of course. I then blocked her too. She is almost 40, but she is still very mean and immature sometimes.

My dad told me that she said what she did to hurt me. Even my husband agreed with me to a certain degree. He did tell me that I don't command respect due to certain things that upset me. One of them was because I'm fat. WTH?

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

My younger sister and I got into a fight the other day while I was visiting her and my parents. We got along OK for awhile up until now. We've had a lot of issues with each other in the past. She recently snapped at me, so I got mad and defended myself.

Anyways, things were fine at first. We had fun at first. She made me laugh, but then she snapped at me like she normally does. She snapped at me after it was time for me to pay her for doing my hair.. She tends to lash out at people, especially me when she's stressed out. She gets annoyed with me very easily for the lamest things. For example, she told me about our old neighbor. I asked her one or two questions about him. She then told me that I ask to many questions. That's typical of her. She'll talk about stuff for awhile and be chatty, but then a few minutes later she'll tell me that she doesn't want me to talk so that she can concentrate. So I didn't talk at all.

After she did my hair, she lost it. She called me paranoid just for checking the price on things. I don't trust her after all the shady stuff she's done to me and other people. After she called me paranoid, she then told me that I don't know how to add just because I made one mistake the first time. I then figured it out. She was right. She told me that she calculated things 3 times. After she called me paranoid, she then told me that I don't know how to add just because I made one mistake the first time. I then figured it out. She was right. She told me that she calculated things 3 times. Despite her being so rude and nasty to me, I left her a 20% tip which she didn't even thank me for! I then told her that it's only common courtesy to do so.

Despite her being so rude and nasty to me, I left her a 20% tip which she didn't even thank me for! I then told her that it's only common courtesy to do so. She then told me that I know how she feels. Whatever, lol. I then got upset that she wouldn't even give me a free sample of anything. She has given me full sized products in the past for free. I didn't expect that, but anything would be nice. Especially since I gave her a ton of free makeup, and it was good mostly expensive stuff too!

She then told me that I know how she feels. Whatever, lol. I then got upset that she wouldn't even give me a free sample of anything. She has given me full sized products in the past for free. I didn't expect that, but anything would be nice. Especially since I gave her a ton of free makeup, and it was good mostly expensive stuff too!

I then got mad and told her to eff off. She then told me that I have issues. Later I texted her that night to apologize for telling her off, but she was out of line and owes me an apology too. She never apologized to me. I then told her that she's a narcissistic person with a strong sense of entitlement. She then went on to insult me after I told her that she needs to get help. She told me that I'm stupid, that I'm the one who's projecting and that way, that I have issues, that other people think badly of me, that I'm insecure, unhappy, and she even went so far to mention a secret that I told her about my marriage.

She then told me that my husband married me for a green card. We've been married for over 20 years, so that's not the case. She then sent me a poop emoji and laughed at what I said and said, here's a shiny piece of poop award for you. She was probably pissed that I told her that she missed out on an all expenses paid trip to the Caribbeans that mom & dad would've funded with my husband and I. I knew that she'd ruin the whole trip for me, so I didn't let her come with us. She never knew that until I told her that. I bet that really hurt her bad.

It's her fault since she was very mean and nasty to me most of the time during a family trip to Europe. She fought a lot with my dad and took out most of her stress out on me. She kisses my moms but for free meals, clothes, and to pay for her beauty supplies. She cuts my moms hair and does her nails for free. I only get stuff half off. It's not worth it to save money and to deal with her abuse. She keeps me waiting quite a bit at times too.

My regular stylist is nice, and she cuts my hair good. I'll just need a good colorist and someone who can do a good job straightening my hair. She was stressed about not being able to find work or clients at her new place. She is also having some weird breakout issues with her hands and back acne that she can't get rid of. She doesn't like her skin or hair that much. Her skin is bad, and even my friend told me wow, she looks like she's a lot older than you when she saw her pic. I'm older by 4 years, but I look no older than 30. She told me that I have nice skin and thick hair. I always thought that her hair was nicer looking than mine and it's not really thin IMHO. Her skin is bad though. Not being mean, just saying.

So, what should I do? Should I just avoid her from now on for good? What would you do? I think that it's better for me to stay the hell away from her for good. BTW, she could also resent me since my mom won't get to control my dads will once he's gone. She'll just take everything from her as my mom is naive and to trusting when it comes to her. So I will control her financial future, lol! I hope that my husband won't have access to the will as even he can be manipulated by her. She's that good. She can't fool me though.

I'm not evil, so I'll get her a used car if I have to. She'll be completely humiliated, lol! No more luxury cars for her when I'm in control! She'll also be put on a budget. She'll probably suck up to me and be all fake nice then, but I won't be deceived. If she is mean to me, it will come out of her budget, LOL! She'll get some stuff, but she'll burn through everything really fast.

She knows about my issues with depression, anxiety, panic (almost don't have that issue anymore thanks to med). Still struggling with depression mostly. I used to have an eating disorder and low self esteem too. She always told me that I'm to sensitive. She thinks I'm weak and she's strong. I got over the eating disorder years ago. And my self esteem is better than it used to be, but I'm not always confident.

I then got mad and told her to **** off. She then told me that I have issues. Later I texted her that night to apologize for telling her off, but she was out of line and owes me an apology too. She never apologized to me. I then told her that she's a narcissistic person with a strong sense of entitlement. She then went on to insult me after I told her that she needs to get help. She told me that I'm stupid, that I'm the one who's projecting and that way, that I have issues, that other people think badly of me, that I'm insecure, unhappy, and she even went so far to mention a secret that I told her about my marriage.

She then told me that my husband married me for a green card. We've been married for over 20 years, so that's not the case. She then sent me a poop emoji and laughed at what I said and said, here's a shiny piece of poop award for you. She was probably pissed that I told her that she missed out on an all expenses paid trip to the Caribbeans that mom & dad would've funded with my husband and I. I knew that she'd ruin the whole trip for me, so I didn't let her come with us. She never knew that until I told her that. I bet that really hurt her bad.

It's her fault since she was very mean and nasty to me most of the time during a family trip to Europe. She fought a lot with my dad and took out most of her stress out on me. She kisses my moms but for free meals, clothes, and to pay for her beauty supplies. She cuts my moms hair and does her nails for free. I only get stuff half off. It's not worth it to save money and to deal with her abuse. She keeps me waiting quite a bit at times too.

My regular stylist is nice, and she cuts my hair good. I'll just need a good colorist and someone who can do a good job straightening my hair. She was stressed about not being able to find work or clients at her new place. She is also having some weird breakout issues with her hands and back acne that she can't get rid of.

She doesn't like her skin or hair that much. Her skin is bad, and even my friend told me wow, she looks like she's a lot older than you when she saw her pic. I'm older by 4 years, but I look no older than 30. She told me that I have nice skin and thick hair. I always thought that her hair was nicer looking than mine and it's not really thin IMHO. Her skin is bad though. Not being mean, just saying.

So, what should I do? Should I just avoid her from now on for good? I think that it's better for me to stay the hell away from her for good. BTW, she could also resent me since my mom won't get to control my dads will once he's gone. She'll just take everything from her as my mom is naive and to trusting when it comes to her. So I will control her financial future, lol! I hope that my husband won't have access to the will as even he can be manipulated by her. She's that good. She can't fool me though.

I'm not evil, so I'll get her a used car if I have to. She'll be completely humiliated, lol! No more luxury cars for her when I'm in control! She'll also be put on a budget. She'll probably suck up to me and be all fake nice then, but I won't be deceived. If she is mean to me, it will come out of her budget, LOL! She'll get some stuff, but she'll burn through everything really fast.

She knows about my issues with depression, anxiety, panic (almost don't have that issue anymore thanks to med). Still struggling with depression mostly. I used to have an eating disorder and low self esteem too. She always told me that I'm to sensitive. She thinks I'm weak and she's strong. I got over the eating disorder years ago. And my self esteem is better than it used to be, but I'm not always confident.

Sorry that this is so long!

I can't see her again as she is toxic and abusive. I told her that I'm done with her. And I mean it this time. I doubt that she even cares though. I feel hurt, angry, betrayed, and depressed. I tried hard to nice to her. I did say and do a few mean things in the past when she provoked me, but I was never mean to her when she left me alone.

She's had a lot of problems with finances, bad boyfriends. A few even hit her once or twice. She sucker punched me once years ago and cut up my face that left me scarred for months. I also ended up with a very bruised face for a long time too. I wanted to call the cops, but my parents and husband stopped me as they didn't want her to get into trouble. She's been in lots of trouble before. She even went to jail once for hitting her ex b.f back after he hit her.

She is bipolar and unmedicated. She never really got help. She is a narcissist with a strong side of entitlement. My dad still pays for her Lexus. He was helping her out with her rent every once in awhile. She avoids him since they constantly butt heads about money. I will admit that he's cheap and controlling, so I give her that.

Sorry that this turned into a novel!

Knowing that she's clearly very, very troubled, is it worth taking anything she says seriously? It would be different if someone called you something, like lazy, AND it was true. But she seems to say stuff just to hurt you. And you let it hurt.

My mother accused me of refusing to teach her to drive when I was sixteen. I didn't even have a driver's license until I was nineteen. People can say all sorts of hurtful things. It's best to let those things roll off of you like water off a duck. Even if what they say is true, it still doesn't matter, because you have to look at the whose mouth the words are coming out of.

Honestly, if you were in a restaurant and you saw someone just like you getting berated by someone just like her, would you take it personally? If not, then try to apply the same thing here. This isn't about you and her. It's about her. So let it be about her. Act like you witnessed this, rather than you participated in this. It seems to me there's no real lesson in this for you, except don't take her seriously. It sounds like she needs help that she will never get.

Originally Posted by clairerobin

Knowing that she's clearly very, very troubled, is it worth taking anything she says seriously? It would be different if someone called you something, like lazy, AND it was true. But she seems to say stuff just to hurt you. And you let it hurt.

My mother accused me of refusing to teach her to drive when I was sixteen. I didn't even have a driver's license until I was nineteen. People can say all sorts of hurtful things. It's best to let those things roll off of you like water off a duck. Even if what they say is true, it still doesn't matter, because you have to look at the whose mouth the words are coming out of.

Honestly, if you were in a restaurant and you saw someone just like you getting berated by someone just like her, would you take it personally? If not, then try to apply the same thing here. This isn't about you and her. It's about her. So let it be about her. Act like you witnessed this, rather than you participated in this. It seems to me there's no real lesson in this for you, except don't take her seriously. It sounds like she needs help that she will never get.

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Thanks for reading and responding to my novel! lol. You're right about what you said. She is very disturbed and she will never get the help that she so desperately needs. I'm a sensitive person, and she knows that. She thinks that I'm weak for being sensitive.

I'm afraid that the answer is clear, I just have to cut her out of my life for good this time like I should've done a long time ago. Especially after she hit me that one time just for bringing up some stuff that she didn't like about her b.f getting arrested for identity theft and me questioning her involvement in it. She told me that she wasn't involved, but I'll never know for sure if she was or not. It doesn't really matter now.

Sorry to hear about the way that your mom treated you. How can you teach someone to drive when it's illegal for you to do so w/o a license? Smh!

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

Sorry to hear about the way that your mom treated you. How can you teach someone to drive when it's illegal for you to do so w/o a license? Smh!

My mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so she invented reality from her head. She remembered things happening that never happened. If she did remember something bad that actually happened, she would just pin on anyone she was angry with at the time. If she wanted to hurt you, she would accuse you of doing something you didn't do. Unfortunately, for me, she wasn't diagnosed until she was 74 years old and I was 44.

I had a psychiatric nurse pay her a visit when she was sprinkling pepper on the entry way to her apartment to "prove people were coming into her apartment to steal her money." The psychiatric nurse diagnosed her with NPD. She said "She is the most manipulative person I've ever met. Don't expect her to love you the way most mothers love their children."

I knew this about her from when I was five years old. Nobody believed me when I told them what she was like. So I stopped having contact with her for many years. I felt sorry for her when she had a stroke and I took care of her for a few months. As a reward, she told me my sister-in-law referred to me with disdain as "Princess Diana." That sister-in-law had never even met me or talked to me on the phone.

So, she turned my sister-in-law against me. This isn't even the worst part. When she told me my sister-in-law referred to me as "Princess Diana," she laughed really hard. When I asked her why she thought it was funny. She said "because she's dead." I hung up on her and never spoke to her again.

I had told her many years ago I would like the family photographs left to me in her will. Nothing more, just the photos. When I cut her out of my life before she had the stroke, she started sending me family photos in the mail. This is the nature of NPD: pure manipulation with a view to controlling others completely. They are really, really mean people. At that point I declared out loud to the universe that I no longer wanted the family photos. I let go of everything associated with my mother. I now choose to remember the few good times she managed to give us, which were few and far between. I choose to forget the bad stuff. I've forgiven her, but I never saw her again. She died in 2013. I didn't go to her funeral.

There are toxic people in the world, more than you realise. If you keep them in your life, they are like poison. Because they are toxic. Cutting them out isn't punishment, it's survival. But many people will judge you for it. Many people judged me for it. That totally doesn't matter, because they don't have to live with the dysfunction or abuse. It's easy to judge something when you yourself don't get hurt by that thing you are judging.

I understand your situation. I get it. I also think you need to do what you need to do to have peace of mind.

Originally Posted by clairerobin

My mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so she invented reality from her head. She remembered things happening that never happened. If she did remember something bad that actually happened, she would just pin on anyone she was angry with at the time. If she wanted to hurt you, she would accuse you of doing something you didn't do. Unfortunately, for me, she wasn't diagnosed until she was 74 years old and I was 44.

I had a psychiatric nurse pay her a visit when she was sprinkling pepper on the entry way to her apartment to "prove people were coming into her apartment to steal her money." The psychiatric nurse diagnosed her with NPD. She said "She is the most manipulative person I've ever met. Don't expect her to love you the way most mothers love their children."

I knew this about her from when I was five years old. Nobody believed me when I told them what she was like. So I stopped having contact with her for many years. I felt sorry for her when she had a stroke and I took care of her for a few months. As a reward, she told me my sister-in-law referred to me with disdain as "Princess Diana." That sister-in-law had never even met me or talked to me on the phone.

So, she turned my sister-in-law against me. This isn't even the worst part. When she told me my sister-in-law referred to me as "Princess Diana," she laughed really hard. When I asked her why she thought it was funny. She said "because she's dead." I hung up on her and never spoke to her again.

I had told her many years ago I would like the family photographs left to me in her will. Nothing more, just the photos. When I cut her out of my life before she had the stroke, she started sending me family photos in the mail. This is the nature of NPD: pure manipulation with a view to controlling others completely. They are really, really mean people. At that point I declared out loud to the universe that I no longer wanted the family photos. I let go of everything associated with my mother. I now choose to remember the few good times she managed to give us, which were few and far between. I choose to forget the bad stuff. I've forgiven her, but I never saw her again. She died in 2013. I didn't go to her funeral.

There are toxic people in the world, more than you realise. If you keep them in your life, they are like poison. Because they are toxic. Cutting them out isn't punishment, it's survival. But many people will judge you for it. Many people judged me for it. That totally doesn't matter, because they don't have to live with the dysfunction or abuse. It's easy to judge something when you yourself don't get hurt by that thing you are judging.

I understand your situation. I get it. I also think you need to do what you need to do to have peace of mind.

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Wow, sorry to hear that your mom was so psycho! I'm glad to hear that you finally managed to cut her out of your life for good. It still hurts me to cut my sister out of my life as we did get along sometimes. She made me laugh a few times as she can be funny.

I just told all of my friends about this. I hope that none of them end up judging me for wanting to have nothing to do with her again. I'm a bit worried that they might get annoyed at me for bringing this up as I have two friends who's dad just died. Also, another one works two jobs. And another one has a sick mother to take care of. I hope that I'm not being a burden to them.

No one I know has a sibling that is as evil as her. Only one friend had a dad who was verbally and mentally abusive, but he had Alzheimer's. He took care of him for years and his father never really appreciated what he did for him. He recently died so he's free now.

I'm a good person. I don't deserve to be treated badly. I'm nice and caring I'm flawed and far from perfect, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't be treated with respect and consideration. I should've cut her out of my life a long time ago. It's surprising that my parents didn't try to convince me to give her another chance. Or maybe they think that we'll eventually be back on good terms after we cool off. It's not going to happen no matter what my parents or my husband said.

My husband warned me to never spend to much time with her as this is what happens when I spend more than a day or two with her. I spent three days with her. She took awhile to do my hair as a lot was done, and we did other things.

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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Wow, sorry to hear that your mom was so psycho! I'm glad to hear that you finally managed to cut her out of your life for good. It still hurts me to cut my sister out of my life as we did get along sometimes. She made me laugh a few times as she can be funny.

I just told all of my friends about this. I hope that none of them end up judging me for wanting to have nothing to do with her again. I'm a bit worried that they might get annoyed at me for bringing this up as I have two friends who's dad just died. Also, another one works two jobs. And another one has a sick mother to take care of. I hope that I'm not being a burden to them.

No one I know has a sibling that is as evil as her. Only one friend had a dad who was verbally and mentally abusive, but he had Alzheimer's. He took care of him for years and his father never really appreciated what he did for him. He recently died so he's free now.

I'm a good person. I don't deserve to be treated badly. I'm nice and caring I'm flawed and far from perfect, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't be treated with respect and consideration. I should've cut her out of my life a long time ago. It's surprising that my parents didn't try to convince me to give her another chance. Or maybe they think that we'll eventually be back on good terms after we cool off. It's not going to happen no matter what my parents or my husband said.

My husband warned me to never spend to much time with her as this is what happens when I spend more than a day or two with her. I spent three days with her. She took awhile to do my hair as a lot was done, and we did other things.

People will judge you, people judged me. I don't care though, because they have not the tiniest clue what it's like having a toxic person in their life. You need to be true to what you want, what you need and what you deserve. I believe you are a nice person, otherwise you wouldn't be torturing yourself over this.

You don't need anyone's permission to make your decision. It's your decision. It's your life, not theirs. I wish I had known when I was ten years old that I had a mother who was incapable of love and a mother who was mentally ill. That would have at least made me realise I didn't cause all the turmoil.

Originally Posted by clairerobin

People will judge you, people judged me. I don't care though, because they have not the tiniest clue what it's like having a toxic person in their life. You need to be true to what you want, what you need and what you deserve. I believe you are a nice person, otherwise you wouldn't be torturing yourself over this.

You don't need anyone's permission to make your decision. It's your decision. It's your life, not theirs. I wish I had known when I was ten years old that I had a mother who was incapable of love and a mother who was mentally ill. That would have at least made me realise I didn't cause all the turmoil.

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Unfortunately you're right about that. I'd like to think that my friends aren't judgemental, but there is always that chance that they may think that I'm overreacting or whatever. Most of them have been supportive of me so far when it came to other issues that I had with her and a few other people like my husband. Hopefully they didn't get sick of me talking about stuff that's stressful and unpleasant. I've always been there for them, so that wouldn't be fair if they abandoned me now. They probably won't. I just worry a lot.

One of my friends gets along fine with her siblings, so it might be harder for her to understand what I'm going through. One friend who knows me well is an only child. I hope that I don't end up losing any of them now as I'm already in enough pain as it is. I can't deal with anymore at the moment.

Thanks for your kind words- I'm glad that you were able to finally get some closure about your mother. You sound like a nice person do who didn't deserve to be treated so badly. I hope that more people will respond to me, but since my post was so long, I'm afraid that some people won't read it. Hopefully a few other people will respond to me and offer me some advice or share their own stories too.

I have a cat.

One of the most difficult yet best things I ever did for my physical and emotional
well-being was to walk away from my toxic family of origin ... This isn't easy, but
it is doable, and sometimes oh so very necessary!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

I have two. Cats are the best therapists IMHO! Mine loves to snuggle with me most of the time!

Originally Posted by Pfrog

One of the most difficult yet best things I ever did for my physical and emotional
well-being was to walk away from my toxic family of origin ... This isn't easy, but
it is doable, and sometimes oh so very necessary!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

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Sorry to hear about your family! How long has it been if you don't mind me asking? Also, did they even try to contact you or apologize for whatever it is they did wrong?

I'm definitely going to stick to my guns this time. I should've done that the first time to where she physically attacked me for the first time since we were kids. She lashes out at me and uses me as her emotional punching bag when she's stressed out or upset, which is all the time.

No more. By giving her one more chance, she'll just think that she can keep on abusing me and get away with it. It'd be like a housewife coming back to her abuser again and again no matter what.

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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Sorry to hear about your family! How long has it been if you don't mind me asking? Also, did they even try to contact you or apologize for whatever it is they did wrong?

I'm definitely going to stick to my guns this time. I should've done that the first time to where she physically attacked me for the first time since we were kids. She lashes out at me and uses me as her emotional punching bag when she's stressed out or upset, which is all the time.

No more. By giving her one more chance, she'll just think that she can keep on abusing me and get away with it. It'd be like a housewife coming back to her abuser again and again no matter what.

I'm going on my 24th year ... I did attempt a brief reconnect with one sister only to find nothing had changed, and that was that ... And, no, there were no apologies ... Only more attempts to manipulate and abuse ... That's all I needed to know and there will be no more attempts by me to contact them, nor any replies from me should any of them ever try to contact me.



And, you're correct in your analogy of a wife going back time and again to their abuser ... Often our families of origin are where we get our first taste of domestic violence and then end up repeating the behaviors and patterns because it's what we grew up in ... But, once we figure it out and know better, we're able to set new patterns of behavior and boundaries and not tolerate abuse from anyone ever again!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

Originally Posted by Pfrog

I'm going on my 24th year ... I did attempt a brief reconnect with one sister only to find nothing had changed, and that was that ... And, no, there were no apologies ... Only more attempts to manipulate and abuse ... That's all I needed to know and there will be no more attempts by me to contact them, nor any replies from me should any of them ever try to contact me.



And, you're correct in your analogy of a wife going back time and again to their abuser ... Often our families of origin are where we get our first taste of domestic violence and then end up repeating the behaviors and patterns because it's what we grew up in ... But, once we figure it out and know better, we're able to set new patterns of behavior and boundaries and not tolerate abuse from anyone ever again!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

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Good for you! I'm so sorry that you had to deal with all of that! I doubt that my sister will ever apologize to me or try to reach out to me in any way. Even if she does, I will accept her apology, but I certainly won't give her another chance to abuse me again, ever.

I'm also keeping everything that I don't want repeated to myself from now on as neither my mom or my dad can ever be trusted to not gossip about me to her and everyone else it seems like. She has read some personal emails sent to my dad, not her. I wouldn't be surpised if my dad shared them with her.

I should've cut her out of my life a long time ago as it's obvious she'll never change. She has issues that she refuses to get help for. She will always lash out at other people and continue to get into trouble again and again.

No more. Never again.