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  #26  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 12:42 AM
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Artchic528 Artchic528 is offline
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Originally Posted by Katieissweet View Post
Yes I think that's it! But the image does look clearer too,I get lots of messages in pof but not Okcupid.
I used POF, but have since been blacklisted. I did nothing wrong, so I don't have any explanation or reason for why they don't want me to use their site anymore. I even tried contacting them for answers, but noooooo they wouldn't reply back. Now I'm not even going to think about using them anymore.
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  #27  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 02:43 AM
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Actually, I have 3 pictures. Two head shots and a full body shot. What more does a guy need anyways?
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  #28  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 03:45 AM
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That should be more than enough,Im talking to a great guy on there atm,he's attractive but he's profile is just his fav shows etc,not much else,I think girls really value the profile content a bit more,maybe not? But in conversation he is so interesting.
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  #29  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 03:46 AM
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Wow...guess it's really down to luck, which I don't seem to have any of at the moment.
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  #30  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 03:47 AM
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Lots of peasants on pof hehe.I call it plenty of peasants.ha

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Originally Posted by Artchic528 View Post
I used POF, but have since been blacklisted. I did nothing wrong, so I don't have any explanation or reason for why they don't want me to use their site anymore. I even tried contacting them for answers, but noooooo they wouldn't reply back. Now I'm not even going to think about using them anymore.
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Those who could not hear the music,thought the dancer was mad - proverb
  #31  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 03:49 AM
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Switch your pics up a bit to get some traffic to your profile.

Quote:
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Wow...guess it's really down to luck, which I don't seem to have any of at the moment.
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  #32  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 03:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Katieissweet View Post
Switch your pics up a bit to get some traffic to your profile.
With what? I don't have any more. I have a long standing issue with seeing myself in pics. As in I tend to over criticize myself in them. It comes from not having good self esteem, which comes from not getting much attention from the dating scene. I guess I'm a catch 22.
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  #33  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:35 AM
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Maybe change your body type.
  #34  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:46 AM
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Maybe change your body type.
But I'm being honest with my body type. I'm average. IF I changed it, I would feel that I was being dishonest and deceitful.

Sorry, but I'm not going to make myself be dishonest or deceitful. That is bad for any budding relationship.
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  #35  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:47 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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I don't know if there is a secret. Use sites where you have to pay. Usually better quality of men and bigger pool ( of course with exception just be careful) Men who use free sites aren't looking for serious.

I kept my profile short. Not much. Just what I do for a living, my level of education, marital status, kid, my hobbies, things i like as my interests. What I am looking for. Straight forward, my pics were casual selfies or the ones awhile ago I didn't have the kind of phone so somebody took of me casually, not formal pics, I am smiling or laughing on pics like I do in real life. I didn't make full length pics, just face and maybe upper body. I made sure my pics don't look better than real life as it would back fire lol

that's about it.

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  #36  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:48 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV View Post
Maybe change your body type.


One needs to be honest whatever body type they have. If somebody says they are average they better be average. And so on

Last edited by divine1966; Apr 28, 2016 at 05:02 AM.
  #37  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:49 AM
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I can't afford to use sites where you have to pay.....
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  #38  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:52 AM
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One needs to be honest whatever body type they have
Exactly my point.
  #39  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:57 AM
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I don't understand how eharmony wouldn't match you? I agree that it's selective and you aren't going to see as many men but what do you mean they don't match you? That's what they do!!! They take your money and they must match you? They also send bunch of profiles "what if". They sent like 10 a day. They might not be a match but if you are interested you can click on them and then contact them. They didn't give you any match at all???? For how long? That's not what they take your money for as its expensive site

I would demand money back. Based on how answered my questions they sent me matches of men who had similar professions ( helping fields) as mine due to similar personality traits.

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  #40  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 04:57 AM
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Artchic528 Artchic528 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV View Post
Exactly my point.
I don't get it.....how is lying about my body type being honest?
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  #41  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 05:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Artchic528 View Post
I can't afford to use sites where you have to pay.....


Honestly if you cannot afford it then it might be that those guys cannot afford either (or they are not serious). Do you want to date a guy who can't afford few months of fee on a dating site?

Also you might consider changing some things in your life that would allow you to afford more and maybe attract more better quality men. Do you work full time? If you don't make enough are you looking for something better? Second job? If you live with parents you probably don't pay as much rent as if you lived alone so you still don't have extra money?

What does your t say on all this?
  #42  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 05:13 AM
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Nobody says you need to be dishonest
  #43  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 05:24 AM
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Honestly if you cannot afford it then it might be that those guys cannot afford either (or they are not serious). Do you want to date a guy who can't afford few months of fee on a dating site?

Also you might consider changing some things in your life that would allow you to afford more and maybe attract more better quality men. Do you work full time? If you don't make enough are you looking for something better? Second job? If you live with parents you probably don't pay as much rent as if you lived alone so you still don't have extra money?

What does your t say on all this?
Honestly, I'm not paying money to get dates. That makes me feel desperate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Nobody says you need to be dishonest
Valentina seems to be suggesting just that.
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  #44  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 05:44 AM
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The point wasn't that you need to pay to get dates but that other sites provide better pool of men who are and can pay for matchmaking service. It does not make one desperate but rather more selective. Anything that is free isn't the same quality as when one pays for it. Guys that can't afford to pay or aren't willing to, are usually not looking for anything serious.

How is being on a hookup site is less desperate than paying for the one that has more men of substance?

No I am pretty sure it's not what Valentina meant

Also you've been asking for advice how to get more dates but when people give you legitimate advice you but only dismiss it but get angry and not very polite about it. Why are you asking if answers are making you mad? We are suggesting how to improve your situation and telling you what we did. I don't know why you get so defensive

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Thanks for this!
Katieissweet, pbutton
  #45  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 05:48 AM
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Artchic528 Artchic528 is offline
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No I am pretty sure it's not what Valentina meant
Then, what exactly did she mean? That I should lose weight? I'm pretty sensitive about my weight and have been ever since I gained some on Abilify. It took an extraordinary amount of time for me to learn to love myself regardless of what I weigh, and that I'm probably never again going to be the weight I was before taking Abilify.

I know she is taking the time out of her day to help, but she could have done so with more sensitivity.

Quote:
The point wasn't that you need to pay to get dates but that other sites provide better pool of men who are and can pay for matchmaking service. It does not make one desperate but rather more selective. Anything that is free isn't the same quality as when one pays for it. Guys that can't afford to pay or aren't willing to, are usually not looking for anything serious.
Even if I did chalk up the money for Match again, I just don't see the point. I get even less attention on there than I do on OKCupid, and all of it from guys I'm not attracted to. I send out messages again and again, only to get no responses back. So yeah, I'm done getting my money sucked up by that site.
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  #46  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 06:44 AM
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why would you be sensitive about your weight or need to lose it if you are average? Average doesn't sound like one would have weight problem at all.
Weight is what it is. One doesn't need to be skinny to be successful and happy.

Eharmony did not have category for weight. I don't recall them having it. And there was no space for endless profiles which is a good thing.

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  #47  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 08:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Katieissweet View Post
I wrote a really long profile,very detailed and I hope that my soulmate or whoever will appreciate it, that it will somehow weed out the users etc who are just looking for a quick bedding.
I had a nice literature teacher write to me today who also had a really detailed profile with many quotes etc.
Sorry, that particular reply was directed to another poster. I realized after it posted that I didn't quote her post, but I was too tired to go back and change it.
  #48  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 12:19 PM
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Artchic528 Artchic528 is offline
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
why would you be sensitive about your weight or need to lose it if you are average? Average doesn't sound like one would have weight problem at all.
Weight is what it is. One doesn't need to be skinny to be successful and happy.

Eharmony did not have category for weight. I don't recall them having it. And there was no space for endless profiles which is a good thing.

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So I'm not allowed to be sensitive about it? Gee. Thanks.

I don't use eHarmony mostly because they won't even match me with anyone. I didn't get a single match from them. Not a one. I was so done with that site a long time ago.
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LIFE IS TOO SHORT, TOO VALUABLE AND TOO PRECIOUS A THING TO WASTE!!
  #49  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 12:57 PM
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Bottom line, you can only be yourself. And the guy who is right for you will like you for who you are.

You want to show the best of yourself in your profile and how you first get to know these guys.

It has a lot to do with looks. Yes, it's shallow, but that's life. Also it has to do with personality. Less beautiful women with nice, warm personalities are really liked by men.

I'm glad I never had to do online dating. I don't know how well I'd have fared.
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  #50  
Old Apr 28, 2016, 01:06 PM
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If you want a real quality guy you have to go where they go. There are many sites where it's free to post your profile but you have to pay to communicate with others. I would not want to communicate with a guy who was too cheap (poor?) to pay for the service. Also, any man who sends you a message with just one word probably isn't worth your time.

To answer your question about getting more messages, you might want to research how to write a profile that will get the attention of your target audience. Some guys go through and just message any and all women who's photos appeal to them, just on the chance of one responding. Getting tons of messages isn't the objective, I don't think. You want to meet one special guy, so be patient. Quality is more important than quantity. Good luck out there!

Add: A lot of people check sites once a week or less often. Hang in there!
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