[stolemyheart87]

Does this guy like me or is he playing games? I am so confused by our talk time schedule I am so unsure on if he likes me or not....

First Day Talked on Dating Website 9-22-16 3PM-9PM
First Day Talked switched to Phone 9-22-16 9PM-12AM
First/Second Day texted on Phone 9-23-16 1:30AM-3AM
Second Date texted on Phone 9-23-16 9AM-12PM at 2PM I texted him not receiving a reply until 7PM-12AM
Third Day texted on Phone 9-24-16 12AM-3AM
Third Day texted on Phone 9-24-16 6:30AM I replied at 9AM-12PM. At 12PM I asked to video chat, didn't get reply until 3PM "I just woke up"and we never video chatted but talked from 3PM to 6PM at 5:20PM I asked to video chat with him and he replied with at 8:50PM "I'm going to the store but when I get back we can." and we never did.
Third Day texted on Phone 9-24-16 From 8:50PM to 10PM we texted.
Fourth Day texted on Phone 9-25-16 at 4AM I texted him good night after waking up in the middle of the night
Fourth Day texted on Phone 9-25-16 10AM-2PM
Fifth Day texted on Phone 9-26-16 12AM-12:23AM
Fifth Day texted on Phone 9-26-16 texted him from 1PM-5PM no response
Sixth Day texted on Phone 9-27-16 9AM-10AM then text him ar 2PM no reply, texted again at 6PM didn't get reply until 8PM saying he was sick with the flu. From 8PM-9PM
Seventh Day texted on Phone 9-28-16 texted him at 12AM got a reply at 1:50AM saying he was still sick. I replied at 4AM after waking up in the middle of the night. At 5PM text him no reply, at 9PM texted him no reply.at 9:30PM he replied with saying he was in the hospital due to him having the flu. We talked from 9:30PM-12AM we texted.
Eignth Day texted on Phone 9-29-16 At 7:45AM he called me, missed call, left voicemail at 7:45AM, at12PM I texted him, then at 2PM, 6PM, got a reply at 6:49PM, we texted from 6:53PM to 8PM
Ninth Day texted on Phone 9-30-16 text at 7:55PM no reply at all that day or night
Ninth Day called him on phone no answer at 8PM
Tenth Day texted on Phone 10-1-16 No response at all
Evelenth Day texted on Phone 10-2-16 texted at 8PM no reply at all that day or night
Evenlth Day called him no answer

First day talked 9 hours straight
Second day talked 1 hour and 30 minutes, then 3 hours, and then 5 hours
Third day talked 2 hours, 3 hours, 3 hours, 1 hour
Fourth day talked 3 hours
Fifth day 20 minutes
Sixth day 1 hour, 1 hour = 2 hours
Seventh day 2 hours
Eignth day 1 hour
Ninth day no contact at all
Tenth day no contact at all
Evenlth day no contact at all
Twelevth day called him at 12PM talked on the phone for 7 minutes

[TishaBuv]

Why do you want all this talking time on the phone? I can't even relate to this. Does this guy live too far away from you to date? Are you just wasting time?

[Moogieotter]

Sorry you are struggling with this. I would probably want to meet in person after 2-3 days of texting. At least for a hug and coffee.

I hope this get easier. Many of us are rooting for you!

moogs

[stolemyheart87]

This guy lives 3 hours away. And sorry but other guys I dated, him and I would talk everyday, throughout the day and night at times, and to me this pattern this guy is doing, shows me that he is interested but then again I don't know for sure. I know I can ask him, but he won't reply.

I asked him, if we were still meeting this weekend but I have not gotten a response.

[TishaBuv]

Did he seem colder to you in the last conversations?

Maybe you talked him out.

[Michelea]

To be perfectly honest, I would run from someone who tried to contact me this much, at all hours of the day, no matter where I met them. It's a little creepy...kinda like text stalking.

[stolemyheart87]

So none of you, have ever dated someone and talked to them throughout the whole day or night? I don't believe that haha.

And I called him on the phone earlier today and we talked for 7 minutes, he said he would call me back and never did. I texted him asking him if we would meet up this weekend for our first date and no response.

During our phone call, we got along and had a nice time talking so don't think it was cold.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

So none of you, have ever dated someone and talked to them throughout the whole day or night? I don't believe that haha.

And I called him on the phone earlier today and we talked for 7 minutes, he said he would call me back and never did. I texted him asking him if we would meet up this weekend for our first date and no response.

During our phone call, we got along and had a nice time talking so don't think it was cold.

Nope, I do not talk to the people I date all day and night. I don't have that kind of time. I work 12-14 hour days, I have friends and family, and I have hobbies. Where would I ever find the time? Early on, I may talk to a new date for 20 minutes here and there, and then schedule a weekend date. If she tried to talk to me more than that, or pestered me between 11pm and 8am, she would be gone! I would run for the hills. I want to get to know someone by going on dates in person, but when we are not together I have a million other things I need to do and other people I need to make time for.

My impression is that you come on way too strong and are scaring these guys off. Your expectations are not in line with reality. You need to choose either someone who has free days and nights to talk to you OR someone who has a job. You can't have both.

[stolemyheart87]

But I have had both, I've had guys who had jobs, but still put me front and center and talked to me too lol.

[fairydustgirl]

I don't work and I have had lovers who live anywhere from 10 hrs to 2 hrs away...and across the ocean...and none of us ever had this kind of contact, all day, any hour of the day. you come across as very obsessive. Even with two of the guys who also didn't work, we had sleep schedules, outside activities, family...esp for those of us with bipolar, sleep is a major thing to keep us healthy. You are on a mental health website...is there possibly a chance that (if you have a disorder) you are in an episode of some sort that leads you to behave this way? perhaps you should be calling your dr?
It would never occur to me to text/email/call one of my lovers in the wee hours of the night, esp if I knew he had to get up for work (one gets up at 430am) How freakin rude of me would that be? and I would be dumped in a heartbeat I assure you. It would have to be a dire emergency and in any case, at more than a half hour away, there is no emergency he would be able to help me with anyway. That's what my family and local friends are for.

Perhaps look at the posts you have made in recent weeks and see if there is a recurring theme that needs evaluated?

[Trippin2.0]

I don't even know any teenagers that spend as much time as you texting.


Maybe it gets old fast, this constant contact, they run out of things to say, or they realize they can't stay glued to their phones, and then they lose interest. Idk


I think such a level of texting is obsessive. Maybe he does too.


You keep talking about guys you've dated before who did this (and I'm honestly picturing 15 year olds) and comparing them to prospective dates... If they were so great, go date them again.

It's not fair to new guys.

[stolemyheart87]

I want to go forward and meet new guys and know my soul mate is out there.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

But I have had both, I've had guys who had jobs, but still put me front and center and talked to me too lol.

That sounds really unhealthy. No one you have just started dating should be "front and center." That speaks to an issue with boundaries/ obsessive behavior. It is much healthier to prioritize one's own needs, the needs of one's children (for those who have them), one's friends/family, career, etc before someone you have just started dating. There is room for shifting that after a number of years together/ marriage, but not the first few months. Do you have friends or family in your life to hang out with rather than putting all of your needs into the guys online?

[xRavenx]

This amount of texting/time on the phone seems really excessive. No matter how much I like or even love a person, I would never spend all day on the phone....not even near that amount of time. I feel it can be a turn off for a lot of people, because you run out of interesting things to say. This creates burn out--especially in a new relationship. Sometimes less is more. It will give you both the opportunity to have some time and space so that there's new things to report.

It's impossible for there to be that much new going on if you are constantly texting and on the phone with someone/trying to get in touch with them. Also, it's less pressure....especially if someone is working. It's stressful to keep up with that kind of contact, even if someone really likes you. They can take it that you are expecting too much. Maybe if you adjusted your expectations and allowed for more flexibility, you'd open yourself up to healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Just my input.

[Molinit]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

This guy lives 3 hours away. And sorry but other guys I dated, him and I would talk everyday, throughout the day and night at times, and to me this pattern this guy is doing, shows me that he is interested but then again I don't know for sure. I know I can ask him, but he won't reply.

I asked him, if we were still meeting this weekend but I have not gotten a response.

Good Lord this is too much talking and texting. Anyone with a job cannot possibly be able to spend this much time yapping or typing on the phone.

[healingme4me]

I spend much time texting or on the phone and neither one of us are teenagers nor lacking maturity. 'tis the reality of maintaining connection when not living together nor local.

Sayin'

As far as this guy's blasé attitude or the fact he rolled out of bed at 3pm, if he's not working 2nd or 3rd shifts, your flags are already up. Run.

Edit to add, now that I'm having my coffee.
Men, while we're discussing in general, yet with specific ones in mind and while thinking about their effect and the frustrations that come from the dating pool. As a woman, it's important to recognize that not only is it not about you meaning it's not that some of them aren't interested, it's them in taking that next step. Besides "they" 😏 get so used to their cozy little bachelor life. Whatever that entails? Beer, pot whatever at night. Can scratch themselves without being seen. It's not "us" it's them.

[stolemyheart87]

Well how can I get this guy to meet me? I asked him if we were still on for this weekend and he never replied to my text. Nor did he return the phone call, when he said he would call back. And he works graveyard shift 8PM-6AM 10 hour shifts as a supervisor. So him sleeping from7AM-3PM is likely haha.

[healingme4me]

What's the time frame for the response? How long ago did you ask?

[stolemyheart87]

Him and I got off the phone around 12:10PM after I called him around 12PM, and around 5PM I texted him and asked him "Are we going to meet up this weekend?" no reply at all yesturday after that text and no reply at all today. It is barely 11AM though.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

Him and I got off the phone around 12:10PM after I called him around 12PM, and around 5PM I texted him and asked him "Are we going to meet up this weekend?" no reply at all yesturday after that text and no reply at all today. It is barely 11AM though.

Then he is not interested and no, you are not meeting up. There is nothing you can do to "make him" interested. Likely, the excessive amount of contact turned him off and he has moved on. Don't call and text the guys so much. You have to be a little less pushy and available if you want any of these guys to become interested.

[stolemyheart87]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

Then he is not interested and no, you are not meeting up. There is nothing you can do to "make him" interested. Likely, the excessive amount of contact turned him off and he has moved on. Don't call and text the guys so much. You have to be a little less pushy and available if you want any of these guys to become interested.

But I think that if I don't make ANY contact, these guys will think I am NOT interested. I don't want them to think that.

Wow, sorry, but I agree with everyone else on here. Texting or calling anyone for 9 hours when you just met them is way, way to much! It screams needy and desperate! I've told you to keep things short and sweet in prior threads, but it seems like you don't want to take anyone's advice no matter how good it is.

No offense or anything, but you do seem to expect to much time and attention from every guy that you come into contact with. This probably scares them away. As others have said, no one with a real life has the time to talk that much all the time.

[stolemyheart87]

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

Wow, sorry, but I agree with everyone else on here. Texting or calling anyone for 9 hours when you just met them is way, way to much! It screams needy and desperate! I've told you to keep things short and sweet in prior threads, but it seems like you don't want to take anyone's advice no matter how good it is.

No offense or anything, but you do seem to expect to much time and attention from every guy that you come into contact with. This probably scares them away. As others have said, no one with a real life has the time to talk that much all the time.

Sorry but no that is BS. I was talking to a guy that had a 10 hour job, and he talked to me throughout the day texting me, HE TEXTED ME from 9AM til 6PM the whole day on and off. So NO your are WRONG and people can text or talk on the phone throughout each day.

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by stolemyheart87

Sorry but no that is BS. I was talking to a guy that had a 10 hour job, and he talked to me throughout the day texting me, HE TEXTED ME from 9AM til 6PM the whole day on and off. So NO your are WRONG and people can text or talk on the phone throughout each day.

Not everyone can talk and text all day long.

We are all telling you that, most of us are employed. No one at my job can text call or email. I'm a teacher. There are many jobs where you cannot do that. Very few.

Perhaps you end up dating a lot of slackers if they are able to get paid to chat with someone all day. The only profession I can think of who get paid to talk 1:1 with others are counsellors, psychiatrists and phone sex workers.

You keep telling everyone to stop. This topic, however, is one that most of us have more experience with than you do as you don't work. Jobs require attention. You're paid to do a certain task. That task isn't texting people. If you are texting people then you are not doing your job.

You simply have to accept that not everyone you meet will text with you constantly. Especially when they don't know you. Some might. Others won't. That's normal.

this is way too much.