What's a healthy relationship?

The title says it. I have truly no idea because I've never had one. Who has helpful input here? What is a healthy relationship?

I think a healthy relationship looks different for everyone because everyone is different. The things that are important are healthy communication, trust, compassion, sharing of interests and values, respect, both individuals being comfortable with their own self esteem and identities, and, of course, love. I would go so far as to saying an agreed upon division of labor, but that goes back to healthy communication.

Seesaw

Well put. Thank you.

I guess It simply comes down to how happy the other person makes you. You should bring out the best in one another. Trust one another and have faith in each other. I think you have to have some things in common, if you are too different in outlook you will just clash. I am dubious on the opposites attract. Because most people don't fit in the are you an extrovert or introvert category. People are in between the two on a massive scale.

Nurturing each other. That goes for lovers, friends, and family. That’s all it is.

A healthy relationship will consist of different things for different people, but the common denominator in such good relationships are a healthy mutual respect for each other, common ground of some sort and Values that either complement or balance out each other that works for the couple. What defines all of those things will vary for each couple.

Loyalty. That's the big thing for me. A deep sense of trust.

-Loyalty
-Acceptance
-Belonging
-Mutual effort
-Respecting space
-Communication
-Appropriateness
-Happiness
-Understanding
-Comfortable quiet
-Trust

If these are all correct, I should be lamenting every relationship I've had. I've not had these things. This shows me that I was merely attached for the sake of attachment. I don't need to feel bad that I haven't had these things, just grateful knowing what I should look forward to and that it will be a good one or not one. I don't feel bad. I simply see now that I was blinded by loneliness.

I've only come to this conclusion after making an overload of mistakes myself. This is what I look for now. I have had some of these at varying times, but definitely not all. I hope for the list I provided to actually be the case one day.

I hope that for you.

I'm sorry you haven't had these things, and I wish only the very best for you from now on. There's no reason you shouldn't. If I didn't have a boyfriend, I would definitely like you!

I've heard that last sentence before. I'm not saying this below is or could be you:
Then they didn't have a boyfriend and said not now and decided later they never did, but still played games with my head anyway first. Why aren't people just straightforward?

The ones I like are eventually found out to not be good people. The good people are just all taken by hopefully for them the other good people. Maybe I'm the problem and I'm not a good person, or I'm a terribleness magnet? So far I think I'm that magnet but I'm leaning toward the thought that I'm bad, I'm broken, and I'm the worst I could be. I'm not depressed about it, it's just that it seems matter of fact and some things I need to change, if I can figure out how.
But, this post has me thinking more about what's essential to a good relationship. That's been most helpful. Thank you all

That's not me, SorryShaped. I do have a boyfriend of many years. Loyalty being important to me, I try to mention him if I find myself tempted to flirt with a man. I've had someone mess with my head in the past and it's no fun.

I'm grateful you have someone that you're in a good relationship with. That's wonderful! It's good to see that people can and do find the right people!
For me, right now, I'm going to go meet up with this woman I might like but at least like to have sex with at/in the gym. We're going to be away from the gym for the first time ever. She knows that I'm going to a different gym in about 2 hours from now. I'm slowly letting her into my life but it started as only sex and I didn't want anything more but now she does and I don't even know what I want with her. She made the first of several advances in wanting only sex but I'd been sometimes talking to her and said the right thing at the right time and that was what she needed to hear. She hasn't had sex anyone since we first did and knows I have had another, and is ok with it, I think. At least I'm calling her by her name now, instead of what I've been calling her, GS, for Gym Slut. I never told her what GS stood for, and I probably shouldn't. I told her "I thought you looked like a GS to me." Confused coitus can continue consistently.
At least the 5k is tomorrow. That's my main focus for now.

SorryShaped, never ever tell that girl what it stands for!

I'm either brave enough or stupid enough that I probably will. She is the one that bared her breasts on an indoor walking track and said she wanted to take me home and f my brains out.

She's not the shy type, I'll give you that....

She might really like you. It doesn't cost any more to treat her nice.

I think she does like me. We had to cancel because they kept her at work extra. I'm in the gym already and on the elliptical. Yoga class in just over an hour.

How's your mood generally, apart from the women?

More stable this year than ever. I used to live mostly on the depressive side, but I'm more on the good side this year and mostly avoiding mania. Couple of the extremes but not to a dangerous point, except the mania few weeks ago, but that got better after I got sleep for several nights in a row. I gotta remember that I have things to help me sleep when the meds can't. It's a lack of sleep that triggers mania in me, I've come to notice, not the other way.

I'm very curious as to why you ask. Please do tell

I'm glad to hear you're more stable

I'm very impressed with this forum. I didn't realise people would be so interesting and nice.

I hate having become depressed. I spent most of my life on the run from it, staying just ahead of it, but it finally caught up with me.

Do you think in terms of getting better or just managing things, if you don't mind me asking?

I don't know. I just seem to like you.

Also, I'm a writer. Don't tell anyone. And I really admire the way you write and the stories you tell. It touches me, in some way.

I think overall I'm much better than the prior 42 years. I never really knew what it was like not to feel like all the world was out to get me until meditation started during yoga showed me I am a miniscule part of everything. I do know that I'm maintaining better. I know my pain levels being markedly decreased has made a tremendous change in my quality of life, including my ability to exercise. Kratom tea has to have most of that credit. My marriage ending became the key to the true new me. Nobody easily survives mental and emotional abuse like that, and I wasn't surviving. I'm not suicidal, which is very new. I wished nearly every night that I'd never wake up from an early, early age. I don't want to die, but I do want things to improve and to accept what's there.

As an aside, I saw a short story about kratom helping those with opiod addictions on CNN this morning while working out at the gym. Please do check it out. I avoided that class of drugs anyway, because they didn't work for me. Kratom doesn't make me feel high at all. I simply don't hurt as much or at all. Big pharma wants it gone, because they can't do that and not get you addicted. They make money on addicting the consumer. When I don't take kratom, I don't have withdrawals, I simply hurt like I did before it.