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  #1  
Old Nov 05, 2017, 10:35 PM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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My S.O. snapped at me yesterday morning. I was encouraging him to stand up straight, so I could pull up his pants. He gets irritated with listening to me. I've been awful depressed since.

For over two weeks, I keep falling into severe depression. I haven't even brushed my teeth today, or yesterday. This is a severe reaction to a momentary bit of mutual antagonism. This is the worst I've been since 2013. I've gone to the psych facility, called hot lines and accessed on-line crisis chats. No one I've talked to seems to see what the big deal is. So I've felt stupider and stupider. Finally, this evening, I called a domestic abuse hot line. I felt stupid doing that because I'm not a victim of any kind of domestic violence. There is a long history of not being treated very nice by this guy I've stayed involved with, but no one forced me to stay with him. I'm the one who kept chosing to stay in this relationship. So I have no one to blame, but myself.

The counselor at the DV line was very understanding and gave me encouragement. In 2005, I went to a DV shelter for 3 months. We were living together and I had lost my job. He was pretty disgusted with me for that and had been telling me and telling me what a losers I was. For years, I had been a pretty reliable source of income. I had supported him repeatedly duriing the years that he drank heavily. Back then, he would steal from my pocketbook. I was very generous to him when he had been down and out, and he was very inclined to exploit that anyway he could. Then I was facing failure, and he was good at rubbing my nose in that. While going to support groups recommended by the DV shelter, I learned that it can be hard to extricate oneself from a bad relationship. That is impossible to explain to anyone because it makes no sense. But people experienced with domestic abuse don't need an explanation. So this counselor I talked to was able to hear how hard everything seems to me.

I don't believe in dredging up ancient history, but it seems relevant. My parents had a lot of emotional turmoil in their marraige. I was used to people talking awful to each other. My father was emotionally abusive to everyone around him, including me. In comparison to what I grew up with, my boyfriend seemed to offer a lot of warmth. I was really in love. At times we got along really well and I felt happier than I ever had. There would-be be these episodes of him calling me an effin a-hole, pretty much whenever he was drunk. Then he was always so sorry.

Now he doesn't drink. But he has these spells where he sounds like he just about can't stand me. He pretty much lets me know, from time to time, that he wishes I would just shut the eff up. Sometimes it seems like he finds it annoying to listen to me when he's watching TV, which is whenever he's awake. He needs help for every single thing, as I've explained in threads before. He can't get on and off the toilet without help. I've been telling him he better stop snapping at me, or I'm going to leave. Yesterday morning was like the final straw.

Suddenly, I feel like I don't want to be around him anymore. I have my own apartment 5 miles away, but I can't just suddenly abandon him. He has some dementia and some partial paralysis. I get this way periodically and it blows over. This is lasting and lasting for weeks. I'm very depressed, and he seems to have no concern for that. He never did. He used to say, "You just do that to yourself."

I'm thinking of leaving him. I'm thinking of telling his adult kids that I won't keep caring for him . . . that I need to go home to my own place and mainly worry about taking care of myself. I could also tell the VA social worker that I'm just finally burnt out for good. This is a way bigger decision than I can make anyone understand. He'll end up lisimg his apartment and going in a nursing home. He'll lose all the benefits I worked so hard to get him - the VA pension for aid and assistance and the Medicaid program that pays for a home attendant. Those benefits are a great deal of money that I put a very great deal of effort into getting and setting up for him. Even though they pay for help in the home, it's not help 24/7 - which he requires. And someone has to manage that help - sceduling, etc. Without me organizing everything, it all falls apart.

I am barely managing to feed him and keep him clean. Dishes pile up for two days before I do them. I stay in bed half the day. He doesn't really care what I do. I was doing a good job for the past 3 years. Suddenly, I seem to have fallen apart. Suddenly, I can't stand the way he snaps at me. Suddenly, I look back and think he has never cared much for me . . . except that I came in handy when he had any problem of any kind.

I had problems with depression way before I met him. Maybe I'm just blaming him for my own unhappiness now. With his dementia, he can't really think of sweet, appreciative things to say. But then he was never the grateful type ever. He tells me not to hang around, if I don't feel like staying. He says that I can leave and he'll be just fine without me. Maybe kis kids and the authorities will just leave him on his own to rot here. In this senior apartment complex where he lives, they find people dead in their apartments on a regular basis. No one seems to think that's any big deal. They'll offer him "Meals on Wheels," and tell him he can stay here with just the attendants coming around. He'll wind up covered with feces. Sorry for that graphic, but that's the reality. So, even if I leave, I'll have that worry on my head.

Sometimes, I see no way to untangle myself from his problems. Maybe I'll wind up worse depressed, walking away from him. It will be just one more thing I fail at. That leads me to awful thinking.

I called all over town and beyond trying to find a psychiatrist. I was hoping maybe something like a stimulant drug might help me to spend less time in bed. I could find no one who would see me. Another drug might not even help. In the past, I pretty much tried everything. Someone understanding might help me pull myself together. Usually, they don't say much that's helpful. I dream of just falling asleeo forever. I take Vicodin to try and feel better.
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  #2  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 01:03 AM
Anonymous57777
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But he has these spells where he sounds like he just about can't stand me. He pretty much lets me know, from time to time, that he wishes I would just shut the eff up. Sometimes it seems like he finds it annoying to listen to me when he's watching TV, which is whenever he's awake. He needs help for every single thing, as I've explained in threads before. He can't get on and off the toilet without help. I've been telling him he better stop snapping at me, or I'm going to leave. Yesterday morning was like the final straw.
Sometimes, I see no way to untangle myself from his problems. Maybe I'll wind up worse depressed, walking away from him. It will be just one more thing I fail at. That leads me to awful thinking.

Rose76-
It all sounds so heartbreaking. You need to put yourself first somehow. My spouse sometimes gets impatient with me about some things so I understand how that feels. It can get quite toxic--you need long breaks from this.
I had surgery on a finger Tuesday (I am typing w one hand). They gave me 20 hydrocodone/acetaminophen which I took ever 3 hours for one and a half days. All I could do was lay around. I was making even worse decisions than usual. I could feel it pushing me down into depression. I am telling you this to say in order to improve your life, you may need to stop the vicodin. You say it helps you sleep--but vicodin induced sleep is not quality sleep. Perhaps, in addition to a stimulant (I take 150 mg bupropion a day)--he could give you something to help you sleep. Being more active will help too! I know it is not easy because your burden is so heavy. I think you need to run away for a while!
He tells me not to hang around, if I don't feel like staying. He says that I can leave and he'll be just fine without me. Maybe kis kids and the authorities will just leave him on his own to rot here. In this senior apartment complex where he lives, they find people dead in their apartments on a regular basis. No one seems to think that's any big deal. They'll offer him "Meals on Wheels," and tell him he can stay here with just the attendants coming around. He'll wind up covered with feces. Sorry for that graphic, but that's the reality. So, even if I leave, I'll have that worry on my head.
I think you should just inform his kids, him and everyone who cares for him that you are in crisis and have to leave for at least a few days! Hugs! Don't give up! Keep posting!
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Thanks for this!
Rose76
  #3  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 01:26 AM
Anonymous57777
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PS I assume you fell in love with your bf because he has some good qualities too! Try to resist thinking about you relationship in black and white. End of life care is so tough. You must at least take a small break from it--you are in crisis/majorly depressed and need to take some sort of action. "Selfishly" taking time for yourself is what you need to do. I am not sure how but there must be some way! Do you think you need to admit you are addicted to the vicodin?
  #4  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 01:35 AM
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sunsurfandsand sunsurfandsand is offline
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@Rose76
Although I have lurked these forums over the past few years I only recently joined.
I felt compelled to reply after reading your despondent post.....I have read many of your previous posts also.

Everybody has their breaking point and it seems you have reached yours.
Looking after your SO seems to be a thankless job and spiralling you into a deep depression.

It’s time to take care of you. You will be no help for him if you are not healthy yourself.
Seems like he has sucked the life right out of you. It’s time for his children to take over where you going to leave off.

You will fall deeper and deeper down the depression rabbit hole if you don’t take the time to take care of you.
If you can’t find a psychiatrist who can see you right away....start by doing something simple..like a 30 minute walk daily. I know that seems like an insurmountable effort seeing as getting out of bed is near impossible.
Force yourself to get out in the sun and move your body.

Join a support group for spouses taking care of their SO. Strength in numbers, it’s always good to have others to listen when they know exactly what you’re going through.
As far as a stimulant medication....it would really only be a band aid if it even helps and in many instances once you come off of them a deep depression can set in.

A few ailments that can have a profound affect on your energy levels and exacerbate depression...
Low Vitamin D levels
Hypothyroidism
Menopause
Low iron( that you have been treated for in the past)
Sleep apnea
Lack of exercise
Nutritional deficiencies
Low B 12 levels
Stress
To name a few...

Does your local hospital offer drop in programmes for depression ?
Sharing what’s on your mind with others will make the burden of depression easier to bare.

Taking care of yourself is the first step to pulling yourself out of this funk.
Make the effort...you’re worth it.
If you don’t take care of you...nobody else will.
HUGS ....��������
  #5  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 01:53 AM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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Originally Posted by Hopingtrying View Post
PS I assume you fell in love with your bf because he has some good qualities too! Try to resist thinking about you relationship in black and white. End of life care is so tough. You must at least take a small break from it--you are in crisis/majorly depressed and need to take some sort of action. "Selfishly" taking time for yourself is what you need to do. I am not sure how but there must be some way! Do you think you need to admit you are addicted to the vicodin?
No, I don't.

When I was in partial hospitalization in 2004, the psychiatrist tried to say I was an alcoholic. I wasn't. Peers in the program who were alcoholics/drug users understood that I wasn't. My boyfriend - who would know the difference - told the doctor that I wasn't. I come right out and explain what's wrong and I never get believed. People want to always change the subject. Like whatever I say doesn't matter. I'm the one who has been living this life, but why do people have to second guess me - like I'm hiding something. I ask for help and I'm not hiding anything. There is no reason to.

It's futile to tell anyone anything. People get distracted by some detail and spin it into more than what it is. They turn away from the main problem that I try to point to. It's like I'm talking to walls.
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  #6  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 02:04 AM
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winter loneliness winter loneliness is offline
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Are you living with him for his check?
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  #7  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 02:04 AM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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SandS - you seem to be hearing me about some things. You seem to really get some of this . . . . but, no, this is not about Vitamin B12. It's not, it's not, it's not.

At the hospital, a pdoc said I might need more thyroid supplement. People keep changing the subject. I feel like there is no point in trying to tell anyone anything. No one listens for long. Everyone goes off on one tangent, or another. Can't anyone credit me with knowing anything? I'm the one in the middle of this.

It's just no use.
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  #8  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 02:10 AM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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Originally Posted by winter loneliness View Post
Are you living with him for his check?
Yeah, that's what it is. You figured me out and saw past all my B.S, you genius.
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  #9  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 02:11 AM
Anonymous57777
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
No, I don't.

It's futile to tell anyone anything. People get distracted by some detail and spin it into more than what it is. They turn away from the main problem that I try to point to. It's like I'm talking to walls.
Just asking. Sorry if it offended you. I believe you. There is no reason to lie in an anomymos post. I won't mention it again....

I understand what you are saying--You feel like you have only had unhealthy relationships your whole life. That these relationships have held you back and/or fueled you depression. I ask myself all of the time-- Am I mentally ill? Or has my mood disorder been caused by my relationship with my spouse. And he is much healthier than your SO. That makes your situation even tougher.

My 30th Anniversary is in December. I care about my spouse but sometimes it is less than perfect. I have been trying to decide where its appropriate to take a stand. I have been trying to figure out how mentally ill I am (do my psych drugs make me feel more crazy? but once you start, it is hard to stop them.) I go to my new T on November 13th. I write a lot. So I can relate but am looking for answers as much as you are....
  #10  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 02:39 AM
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winter loneliness winter loneliness is offline
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
Yeah, that's what it is. You figured me out and saw past all my B.S, you genius.
So that is a yes?
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  #11  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 03:21 AM
Anonymous57777
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I think being snapped at doesn't hurt as much when we take the time to nurture our own dreams, activities, and identity that is ours and ours alone. One reason I have been writing so much is to make sure I am listening to my own voice. Life can be rocky if we rely to much on others for our self worth. We have to nurture the voice within. I think our relationships wit others are healthier when we take time to do this. For you to feel better and for you to be able to give time to your SO--I think you must establish more time (or leave for a while) just for yourself. You need to figure out a way not to worry about him 24/7....
Thanks for this!
Rose76
  #12  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 03:43 AM
Anonymous57777
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Can't take getting snapped at anymore.
Maybe you are depressed because you are tired of just existing--you need to take some time to live and nurture peace from within. You have been caught up in your SOs situation and need some time away from it.
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Thanks for this!
Rose76
  #13  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 05:02 AM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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Three months ago, when he was in the hospital very sick with an infection, he became confused. They put a sitter watching him. He had become a behavior problem. They said he was "very stubborn" and had "swung at" someone.

Being immersed in continuous caregiving for year after year can wear a person down. I see that I am being consumed by his needs and losing track of tending to my own welfare. From what I read that's not uncommon for people in my situation. I think there's also a thankless aspect to my situation that has a lot to do with making it so demoralizing.

Dementia does make it harder for him to see past himself. But the attitude of being so annoyed with me so often was there going way, way back. Back 5 years ago, his children told him to stop going back to visit them. He said they called and said they thought it was too strenuous on him to make the trip. Then they told me that they were tired of him visiting them annually because they found him to be "a pain in the @$$." They said he acts too irritable around them and their children. They said he hollers too much. He said they told him to stay home and they would come visit him instead. In the past 7 plus years, he had one visit from one of them. That one visit seemed prompted by the VA calling them saying that he was deteriorating and should have a guardian appointed and probably should be "placed" in a longterm care facility. That visit was over three years ago. I agreed to provide the support needed to let him stay at home in his apartment, if he would act reasonable and accept a home attendant helping out, which he originally was opposed to.

So I've provided a great deal of support. Now I am in need of feeling cared about and supported. I think, if I felt less alone and less disrespected, it wouldn't seem so hard to carry on. I feel unloved by him. Or rather - he loves like a child. He says he likes me being here. But who wouldn't? I don't want to be with him just to be serving him.

I know my level of upset is beyond what just being "snapped at" warrants. I agree with that in the post above that it wouldn't hurt so much if other things were okay in my life. It's what the snaps represent to me and how they remind me of all the mean ways he's talked to me in years past. I am reminded of how willing he was to exploit me whenever he had a need he could get met through me. And I think this is all I've gotten out of life. And I wish I had never been born.

I guess when he had such severe recurrent sicknesses, I thought he wasn't that long for this earth and that I might as well hang in there for what time he had left. It felt like a job I wanted to finish. Lately, though, the days I spend with him seem like eternities. He doesn't seem to have anything to say to me. He likes when I am cheerful and talk pleasant to him, if he is in the mood to be talked to. I praise him for any effort he makes and tell him how nice he looks when he is cleaned up. I need to hear something back once in a while, instead of being just taken for granted . . . and worse. I feel starved for kindness.

Maybe, as a start, I could try and get a second attendant. Medicaid would pay for it. If I went home to my own place and spent less time here, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad. Maybe he would even be nicer when I am around. He doesn't seem to like being left with an attendant. I have to not let that bother me. I can't give him an ideal existance.
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  #14  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 06:13 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Originally Posted by winter loneliness View Post
Are you living with him for his check?
This doesn’t make sense. She does have her own place for which she pays rent. So if she lived with him for his check she’d give up her own Apartment and live with him saving rent money.
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Thanks for this!
graystreet, Rose76
  #15  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 07:29 AM
Anonymous59898
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I do want to reassure you that feeling overwhelmed in this situation is not unusual in caring for someone with dementia. Your history with him complicates things further however, it must be hard to know whether nastiness is the dementia or just him. I do feel what you have written about your past with him that it has been emotional abuse, and possibly financial too (he was quick to call you a loser when you lost your job).

I am reading that you are staying with him mainly because you fear without you there his care package will not be sufficient, is that fair to say?

I think that is not a positve reason to stay, it sounds like guilt but you do not owe him your life - it sounds like he has not always been supportive of you.

He may well fare better than you think in a care facility. You could still be part of his life just not providing the level of support care and planning you have done. It does not have to be the awful scenario you fear.
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Thanks for this!
Rose76
  #16  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 10:25 AM
Riggs Riggs is offline
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First off, I don't know if this helps any, but I wanted to say that at least to me it does make a certain kind of sense to stick around in bad relationships. That doesn't mean you should stick around, but I just wanted to acknowledge that it's not as easy as saying no to some food you don't like. The wish to belong, to have a family, to have a group, is very strong. It goes to the very core of our most basic survival instincts and it's scary to take the plunge of leaving what you have. At least you're not alone where you are, you have a context and a place. So for what it's worth, at least to some random dude on the net, staying around even when it's bad is understandable.

With that said, you have the right to demand respect for who you are. When you do something nice for someone else, you have the right to a sincere "Thank you". In particular, you have the right to draw boundaries on what kind of treatment is acceptable to you. You have needs too and this is one of them. You are not obliged to be someone elses punching bag your whole life. Everyone has ups and downs and sometimes we have to take a few hits for the people we love and care about. But if it comes to a point where it's wearing you down and poisoning your life, then you are the final arbiter of when enough is enough. Maybe you can't just walk away, and it speaks alot to your character that you're unwilling to just abandon him. But maybe it's time to look at options? Is there some way that you could get relief and assistance? From what you're describing, it seems to me that you're at the point where you can say "Either A and B changes to C and D, or I'm out". I don't know if any of this helps you at all, but I at least wanted to try and give you a little encouragement by saying that you'd be completely justified doing so!
Thanks for this!
Rose76, unaluna
  #17  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 10:56 AM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
My S.O. snapped at me yesterday morning. I was encouraging him to stand up straight, so I could pull up his pants. He gets irritated with listening to me. I've been awful depressed since.

For over two weeks, I keep falling into severe depression. I haven't even brushed my teeth today, or yesterday. This is a severe reaction to a momentary bit of mutual antagonism. This is the worst I've been since 2013. I've gone to the psych facility, called hot lines and accessed on-line crisis chats. No one I've talked to seems to see what the big deal is. So I've felt stupider and stupider. Finally, this evening, I called a domestic abuse hot line. I felt stupid doing that because I'm not a victim of any kind of domestic violence. There is a long history of not being treated very nice by this guy I've stayed involved with, but no one forced me to stay with him. I'm the one who kept chosing to stay in this relationship. So I have no one to blame, but myself.

The counselor at the DV line was very understanding and gave me encouragement. In 2005, I went to a DV shelter for 3 months. We were living together and I had lost my job. He was pretty disgusted with me for that and had been telling me and telling me what a losers I was. For years, I had been a pretty reliable source of income. I had supported him repeatedly duriing the years that he drank heavily. Back then, he would steal from my pocketbook. I was very generous to him when he had been down and out, and he was very inclined to exploit that anyway he could. Then I was facing failure, and he was good at rubbing my nose in that. While going to support groups recommended by the DV shelter, I learned that it can be hard to extricate oneself from a bad relationship. That is impossible to explain to anyone because it makes no sense. But people experienced with domestic abuse don't need an explanation. So this counselor I talked to was able to hear how hard everything seems to me.

I don't believe in dredging up ancient history, but it seems relevant. My parents had a lot of emotional turmoil in their marraige. I was used to people talking awful to each other. My father was emotionally abusive to everyone around him, including me. In comparison to what I grew up with, my boyfriend seemed to offer a lot of warmth. I was really in love. At times we got along really well and I felt happier than I ever had. There would-be be these episodes of him calling me an effin a-hole, pretty much whenever he was drunk. Then he was always so sorry.

Now he doesn't drink. But he has these spells where he sounds like he just about can't stand me. He pretty much lets me know, from time to time, that he wishes I would just shut the eff up. Sometimes it seems like he finds it annoying to listen to me when he's watching TV, which is whenever he's awake. He needs help for every single thing, as I've explained in threads before. He can't get on and off the toilet without help. I've been telling him he better stop snapping at me, or I'm going to leave. Yesterday morning was like the final straw.

Suddenly, I feel like I don't want to be around him anymore. I have my own apartment 5 miles away, but I can't just suddenly abandon him. He has some dementia and some partial paralysis. I get this way periodically and it blows over. This is lasting and lasting for weeks. I'm very depressed, and he seems to have no concern for that. He never did. He used to say, "You just do that to yourself."

I'm thinking of leaving him. I'm thinking of telling his adult kids that I won't keep caring for him . . . that I need to go home to my own place and mainly worry about taking care of myself. I could also tell the VA social worker that I'm just finally burnt out for good. This is a way bigger decision than I can make anyone understand. He'll end up lisimg his apartment and going in a nursing home. He'll lose all the benefits I worked so hard to get him - the VA pension for aid and assistance and the Medicaid program that pays for a home attendant. Those benefits are a great deal of money that I put a very great deal of effort into getting and setting up for him. Even though they pay for help in the home, it's not help 24/7 - which he requires. And someone has to manage that help - sceduling, etc. Without me organizing everything, it all falls apart.

I am barely managing to feed him and keep him clean. Dishes pile up for two days before I do them. I stay in bed half the day. He doesn't really care what I do. I was doing a good job for the past 3 years. Suddenly, I seem to have fallen apart. Suddenly, I can't stand the way he snaps at me. Suddenly, I look back and think he has never cared much for me . . . except that I came in handy when he had any problem of any kind.

I had problems with depression way before I met him. Maybe I'm just blaming him for my own unhappiness now. With his dementia, he can't really think of sweet, appreciative things to say. But then he was never the grateful type ever. He tells me not to hang around, if I don't feel like staying. He says that I can leave and he'll be just fine without me. Maybe kis kids and the authorities will just leave him on his own to rot here. In this senior apartment complex where he lives, they find people dead in their apartments on a regular basis. No one seems to think that's any big deal. They'll offer him "Meals on Wheels," and tell him he can stay here with just the attendants coming around. He'll wind up covered with feces. Sorry for that graphic, but that's the reality. So, even if I leave, I'll have that worry on my head.

Sometimes, I see no way to untangle myself from his problems. Maybe I'll wind up worse depressed, walking away from him. It will be just one more thing I fail at. That leads me to awful thinking.

I called all over town and beyond trying to find a psychiatrist. I was hoping maybe something like a stimulant drug might help me to spend less time in bed. I could find no one who would see me. Another drug might not even help. In the past, I pretty much tried everything. Someone understanding might help me pull myself together. Usually, they don't say much that's helpful. I dream of just falling asleeo forever. I take Vicodin to try and feel better.
Rose - I am proud of you.

I am proud of you for finally reaching out (even if only in desperation) to a DV counselor. Just bc abuse is not physical does not make it "not abuse". Just because you find yourself choosing to stay doesn't make it "not abuse". Just because he tells you you can leave, doesn't make it "not abuse". Just because at times things are good doesn't make it "not abuse". And just because he has dementia now does not make it less abusive - he did this before that too, dementia only brings a person "back in time" - so he relived those times he was abusive to you. Even if he wanted to stop now the likelihood of him doing so is slim .. until n unless his mind sinks beyond that point in time.

Abuse does have cycles as you said - so him being abusive at times n non-abusive at other times, even if he was not suffering with dementia is "normal" for an abusive person. Him telling you that you can leave - can also be a form of control in the form of "guilting you". Guilt will cause a person to stay. The thought "things may get better" will cause a person to stay. These are common reasons to stay in an abusive situation. The snapping, any belittling, any form of verbalizations that cause depression - that is a form of abuse. It could be verbal or emotional or psychological or spiritual depending on the types of things said but it is still abuse.

Lately I am starting to return to your same situation. It had stopped for 3yrs but stress is starting to cause him to react in such ways again and I am again feeling the strain so I can relate to you. You are not alone.

*hugs*
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Rose76
  #18  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 11:31 AM
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ReptileInYourHead ReptileInYourHead is offline
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Winter, the answer was no. No need for antagonizing.
I understand some pertinent topics can make us emotional or hit a nerve but let’s try to keep the conversation constructive.
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Rose76
  #19  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 12:05 PM
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Rose76 Rose76 is offline
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Thanks for the understanding posts.
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divine1966
  #20  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 12:41 PM
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magicalprince magicalprince is offline
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I know it's hard to think this way because you seem to be a very caring person, but this guy's problems aren't your responsibility. It clearly is making you miserable and you are trying to send out a cry for help. When you have a toxic relationship as your primary relationship it's hard to make the decisions you really need to make for yourself. Please do seek support for yourself, you need that.
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Rose76
  #21  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 01:22 PM
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Crypts_Of_The_Mind is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
Thanks for the understanding posts.
Feel free to talk to me anytime. Even in pm if you wish. I am around more often again due to the suicidal feelings bc of the strain of what is happening now.

Please take care.

*hugs*
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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
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Rose76
  #22  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 03:20 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Rose, it’s way past time for you to take a break. That break could be temporary or permanent but you need to take good care of you right now. Can you make this happen? You’re not abandoning him, you’re in serious trouble and need a reprieve. Like they tell you on airplanes, you put the oxygen mask on first so you can then help others. You’ve gone above and beyond.
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Rose76
  #23  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 04:01 PM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Hugs to you Rose

Please find much needed time for you, yes hard I know , I hate to see you going through all this
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Rose76
  #24  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 04:20 PM
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Purple,Violet,Blue Purple,Violet,Blue is offline
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Are you OK, Rose?
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Rose76
  #25  
Old Nov 06, 2017, 04:42 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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Perhaps visiting him daily or twice a day and making sure he is ok would be reasonable. Go to your own place rest of the time
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Rose76
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