We put the company on hold. We are all too busy. It's not right for her anyway. I told her I might continue it on my own.

Good riddance. She's not a writer, not inclined to observations. She's not good at social media, communicating, or conceptual thinking. Every idea we ever had for story development was my own. She just eats. I wrote the reviews. I did the social media. I did the website development, the SEO taglines, and I wrote the music.

She's too busy becoming an engineer and loving her family (fulfilling their expectations). Some people, I find, are incapable of feeling. She likes to eat? What stories burst on her tongue when she tastes something? She has no stories in her.

She's helped me to the best of her abilities. I've used her up and she's not good for anything now. Time to move on. I was always better on my own anyway. I can be successful, maybe more successful, without her. I am trying again, and maybe without her it will be better.

Do you think it is too dramatic to remove her editing rights on the website and to change our social media passwords?

I'm going to go work out. It's not really a big deal anyway. She's been getting on my nerves lately anyway.

You can say that I should try to see if this has been a pattern in my previous friendships, but there have been none. No real ones. And maybe this one wasn't real either.

I have no idea what a real friendship is. All I can see are people using each other.

[seesaw]

This struck me:

I've used her up and she's not good for anything now.

Do you find that you do that with many "friends"? Those people really wouldn't be friends if you use them up then toss them when you have all you want from them. I'm sorry I don't really know the backstory, but that just stuck out to me.

Seesaw

Yeah, I know I sound like a sociopath....

I've just never had a real friend I guess. They all liked me for a weird racial fetish. You can say they used me. I have never felt connected to anyone in my real life. If I can't make connections, why not just try to see how people can help me?

I didn't always think like this. I would dearly love to love someone and vice versa. Hold hands, all the gooey stuff, completely and forever.

I didn't really get anything from her, either, so tossing her aside isn't really the right phrase. I'm just frustrated.

I just don't know if she has any depths. Haven't been able to mine them, anyway.

It's all my fault. I found her approachable because I never had a lot of respect for her.

She does have depths, they just don't interest me. Our business was a potential source of meaning to who she is. But she is bad at conceptual thinking, story development. The things that mean the most to her (food, home, politics) seemed to fall flat to me. If it meant so much to her, where was her enthusiasm? Her sense of story behind food, politics, and home? It was like she just found the topic and said, there, there it is. And it was like falling from a height onto a flat rock.

But she likes gaming, and apparently engineering. Maybe I should have asked more questions about that. But I am not interested in gaming. I tried it, and it was interesting to see how interactive it was, but I got bored. Also, when she games, she makes really loud noises pressing on her computer, and I honestly found that scary.

[FallDuskTrain]

Emptynightmare;
Is that a defense mechanism?
In this last incident, did you respond as "I've used her up and she's not good for anything now." because you feel very sad that your friend decided to pursue her own dream of engineering? Because if you look at the situation as "I've used her up" then you would be denying your care and love for that person hence making it easier to deal with the emotional pain of the break up/end of friendship.
I just find it difficult to believe that you started this friendship with the intention of using her but when things stopped working out, you decided to look at it from the perspective of "I've used her up and she's not good for anything now." This perspective is cold thus makes the pain easier to deal with.
Also, Is it because you have a huge fear of abandonment and thus you have not been close to any friend?
I might be wrong. This is merely an observation.

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Emptynightmare;
Is that a defense mechanism?
In this last incident, did you respond as "I've used her up and she's not good for anything now." because you feel very sad that your friend decided to pursue her own dream of engineering? Because if you look at the situation as "I've used her up" then you would be denying your care and love for that person hence making it easier to deal with the emotional pain of the break up/end of friendship.
I just find it difficult to believe that you started this friendship with the intention of using her but when things stopped working out, you decided to look at it from the perspective of "I've used her up and she's not good for anything now." This perspective is cold thus makes the pain easier to deal with.
Also, Is it because you have a huge fear of abandonment and thus you have not been close to any friend?
I might be wrong. This is merely an observation.

You are correct about everything. I also suspect that my inability to connect with people stems from my distant relationship with my parents.

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

We put the company on hold. We are all too busy. It's not right for her anyway. I told her I might continue it on my own.

Good riddance. She's not a writer, not inclined to observations. She's not good at social media, communicating, or conceptual thinking. Every idea we ever had for story development was my own. She just eats. I wrote the reviews. I did the social media. I did the website development, the SEO taglines, and I wrote the music.

She's too busy becoming an engineer and loving her family (fulfilling their expectations). Some people, I find, are incapable of feeling. She likes to eat? What stories burst on her tongue when she tastes something? She has no stories in her.

She's helped me to the best of her abilities. I've used her up and she's not good for anything now. Time to move on. I was always better on my own anyway. I can be successful, maybe more successful, without her. I am trying again, and maybe without her it will be better.

Do you think it is too dramatic to remove her editing rights on the website and to change our social media passwords?

It is dramatic to remove her from the editing rights, simply because it can cause drama. Moreover it's a matter of respect of work done by her despite the bad ending. She still did some important work

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

It is dramatic to remove her from the editing rights, simply because it can cause drama. Moreover it's a matter of respect of work done by her despite the bad ending. She still did some important work

I agree with this comment. Do not add more drama to an already emotionally charged situation. Besides, try to stay classy, you know? do not take actions out of revenge. It is just not what a classy hearted person would do. What would miss manners say, you know?

Thanks, been a while since I remembered the concept of classy. I need to meditate over people more. They are probably all ok. I seem to be a very angry person.

I just want a clean break from her. I feel hurt by her because she makes me feel deficient, in all ways. Her family was so judgmental. And cultural issues.

And she did not care for me and was never there for me. I tried my best by trying to ask questions about her engineering program and stuff. I tried to be supportive. I probably failed because I have no idea what support is. So I have no idea why she would have wanted me around. She would often say things like, "I miss you." If she didn't want me for real, why didn't she just drop me? I have no qualms wishing I could drop her now that she is causing me more unhappiness than happiness. I want to get rid of any trace of her from my life. I want a clean break. I don't want any reminders.

But the company is only on hold so I'll have to wait a bit to find out if I can actually cut her out of my life.
If she does want to continue, I'll give her everything and bow out of her life. I just want it to be over.

Also please no more aspersions over whether or not I use people up and throw them out. If we go through that again, I will say I'm a sociopath just to make you all stay away. It was very painful to me. Am I hurting enough, showing enough pain for you to see my humanity?

I don't know if, after waiting for her to decide what to do with the company, unfriending her is classy or not. But I am just very hurt and abandoned by her.

Never mind. Mods, if you read this please close this thread. Thanks.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

I just want a clean break from her. I feel hurt by her because she makes me feel deficient, in all ways. Her family was so judgmental. And cultural issues.

And she did not care for me and was never there for me. I tried my best by trying to ask questions about her engineering program and stuff. I tried to be supportive. I probably failed because I have no idea what support is. So I have no idea why she would have wanted me around. She would often say things like, "I miss you." If she didn't want me for real, why didn't she just drop me? I have no qualms wishing I could drop her now that she is causing me more unhappiness than happiness. I want to get rid of any trace of her from my life. I want a clean break. I don't want any reminders.

But the company is only on hold so I'll have to wait a bit to find out if I can actually cut her out of my life.
If she does want to continue, I'll give her everything and bow out of her life. I just want it to be over.

Also please no more aspersions over whether or not I use people up and throw them out. If we go through that again, I will say I'm a sociopath just to make you all stay away. It was very painful to me. Am I hurting enough, showing enough pain for you to see my humanity?

I don't know if, after waiting for her to decide what to do with the company, unfriending her is classy or not. But I am just very hurt and abandoned by her.

Have you told her that you are hurt by her? Does she know that you feel abandoned? I don't know if you shared this with her or not.... The thing is if you act out of anger and revenge, she will never know your human/gentle side... she will perceive it as you being nasty and she probably will think that you are a bad person. BUT this is NOT true. You are not a bad person. you are hurt and in emotional pain. It would take a very wise and enlightened person to see the difference. meaning, only a person working on self development and inner peace can see the emotional suffering that is covered with anger and bunch of bs, you know? So, explain to her how you feel. She might understand it but she may not get you. but, staying classy in your heart and actions is important for you.. because each time you act out of anger and revenge, you will be damaging your own subconscious and that damage will bring more anger to you. In time, you will become a stranger to yourself and it will get worse.
Thus, please stay classy in your heart, otherwise you will be putting salt in your wound. Taking revenge or acting out of revenge ruins your soul and heart.

No, we have irreconcilable differences and trying to explain that I am hurt and the reasons why will only make her more angry at me. The very things that cause me pain are the things she hates about me.

I’m staying away. I simply can’t deal with her. A testament to my immaturity maybe, but I would rather close the door on something causing me some pretty deep pain. Maybe mild, but very deep.

I’m not the right fit for her. I am incapable of being her friend. It’s all my problem. I know deep down that she is pure.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by seesaw

This struck me:


Do you find that you do that with many "friends"? Those people really wouldn't be friends if you use them up then toss them when you have all you want from them. I'm sorry I don't really know the backstory, but that just stuck out to me.

Seesaw

This struck me as well. I don’t know the back story though.

Thanks, you are capable of quoting my own words right back at me. You are both right, you don't know the backstory.

Fuzzybear, if it struck you, what does it mean to you? Please tell me, I'd love to know.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m really not feeling very verbal. I’m not in a position to judge. The only thing is, I personally have been used by someone I thought was a “friend” and who swore everlasting “friendship” .. my stuff. Stupid me for believing them.

I was unsure about replying... I’m sorry if my post came across “wrong” - they often do when I use words

I also have an extremely distant “family” .. I empathise with that

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

Thanks, you are capable of quoting my own words right back at me. You are both right, you don't know the backstory.

Fuzzybear, if it struck you, what does it mean to you? Please tell me, I'd love to know.

I do not know why you are lashing out at me. I pointed out what you said because it seems abnormal to talk about friends that way. To me your issues seem to extend from what your idea of friendship is. Often times we don't really hear the things we are saying until someone points it out to us, hence why I pointed it out. I will refrain from commenting any further.

Yes, please do, I wasn't even talking to you.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

Yes, please do, I wasn't even talking to you.

Perhaps using PM to talk to the people you do want to chat with would be appropriate then.

I thought you weren't responding anymore?

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

I thought you weren't responding anymore?

Obviously I changed my mind.

Haha! Well, you might have noticed that I've posted all sorts of things about how I approach my friendships, none of which really match up.

I reserve the right to say what I want in the moment, just like you have. That doesn't mean you can insinuate things based on one sentence I wrote.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

Haha! Well, you might have noticed that I've posted all sorts of things about how I approach my friendships, none of which really match up.

I reserve the right to say what I want in the moment, just like you have. That doesn't mean you can insinuate things based on one sentence I wrote.

How are we suppose to offer you any support if we aren't allowed to comment on what you say and how it is interpreted?

Um, I never said you couldn't comment.

Your being allowed to comment doesn't mean that I have to like it or accept it.

If you truly were not "allowed" to comment, I would have blocked you. Or, I might have asked to have the thread closed, officially.