Selfish MEN! - Grrrrrrrrrrr

i must have missed the support for men in your abusive, demeaning, condenscending, insulting posts about all men, let me go back and look and ill get back to you

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heyjoe said:
i must have missed the support for men in your abusive, demeaning, condenscending, insulting posts about all men, let me go back and look and ill get back to you

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As I posted in my first post.......

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Rhapsody said:
Ok NOW! - this post is about ME and how I am FEELING....... so Please - NO HATE REPLIES.

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SO - Please IF you cannot handle what I am going through right now....... please do not read this thread at the moment.

Thank you,
Rhapsody -

I know I find it hard to deal with guys sometimes, but it's things like this that make me glad I'm bi-sexual [meaning no offence]. I think that part of mens selfishness is a product of society; we have to take care of the kids, clean the house, keep a job, and look stunning and athletic, but men get time off after work, and it's not their job? Sometimes theres nothing you can do about it. I learned a long time ago, if after years and years, people won't change for you at all, it's time to let go. Not eays, not always fun.

So I think it's you're turn to be selfish; think about you and what makes you happy and go with it!

I will give you an "Amen" because in retrospect...men are selfish. I will add that not every badger has rabies...but they all will bite. Men make it hard, it's like a "Can't live with them, can't live without them" deal and it's old. I told my mother and everybody else that once I leave my husband and I will live alone and single like my Grandmother did for many years before she died. She seemed very content with being alone with her animals in her own house with her very own life. I don't think there's anything wrong with being alone. If it gets to the point just try it for awhile, you may discover something new about yourself.

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youOme said:
I will give you an "Amen" because in retrospect...men are selfish.

I will add that not every badger has rabies...but they all will bite.

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Thanks for the SMILE your WORDS gave ME this morning..........

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Itadakimasu said:
I think that part of mens selfishness is a product of society; we have to take care of the kids, clean the house, keep a job, and look stunning and athletic, but men get time off after work, and it's not their job?

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I hear YOU there....... and some ladies have to throw in a full time job as well. *Big Sigh*


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Itadakimasu said:
So I think it's you're turn to be selfish; think about you and what makes you happy and go with it!

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I have been for the last few months - and now I am the one being called SELFISH & UNCARING just because I have decided to give unto ME a little more and less to others..... Go Figure?

I guess that is where the "can't live with them / can't live with out them" starts to play in the factor of life.

Rhapsody, I understand your frustration and I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I do find this thread to be hurtful in its negative generalization of men, though. I wish you could have vented it as "the men in my life are selfish" or "the men I've known are selfish" instead of stereotyping in such a way. If this was a thread written by a man saying "all women are *****es", we would have pounded him to shreds.

But I'm really, really sorry that you're feeling taken for granted and uncared about... and agree that you should give more to yourself than you had in the past. I know that in my marriage and relationships, whenever I feel taken advantage of, I realize that I had given more than I should have and expected something in return. That's the problem with generosity - there is usually some underlying expectation that the generosity will be returned, and if it isn't, then we're disappointed.

Hang in there - I'm thinking of you

Well, there has always been arguements about whether gender traits are nature or nurture. I believe some are nature(genetic) although-- I believe MOST are nurture(environmental). I think the men you have encountered act the way the do because THEY CAN. Society accepts it hole-heartedly. Our culture even acts endearing towards men that look to please themselves before anyone else-- and on the flip side-- men are often criticized for behaving in a debonaire manner.
What is a guy to do?

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now I am the one being called SELFISH & UNCARING just because I have decided to give unto ME a little more and less to others..... Go Figure?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> that's easy to figure-- You are changing the "status quo"-- whenver that happens there will almost always be dissension. People's nature is to struggle against that which is different.(IMO)

I must say with respect to your struggling-- that I agree with LMO-- putting ALL men in one category can be hurtful.

Lumping a whole group of people into one description is often where prejudices are born from.

I'm sorry Rhap, that you are feeling misunderstood and uncared for-- that hurts very much -- I can so relate.

mandy

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LMo said:
Rhapsody, I understand your frustration and I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I do find this thread to be hurtful in its negative generalization of men, though. I wish you could have vented it as "the men in my life are selfish" or "the men I've known are selfish" instead of stereotyping in such a way. If this was a thread written by a man saying "all women are *****es", we would have pounded him to shreds.

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I personally do not feel that I generalized this thread to all MEN - for these are a few of my first post........ in which I did stated

"This is what I am going thru so no hate mail" (and) I used the word "a lot of men" to leave the room open for those that are not..........

and YES - I do know a rare few males that are not SELFISH, but frankly from my POV a lot more than not become SELFISH over time.

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Rhapsody said:
Ok NOW! - this post is about ME and how I am FEELING....... so Please - NO HATE REPLIES.

MEN........ Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Frankly after forty years of being on this earth I can honestly say that a lot of MEN (if not most) are very SELFISH MEAN and CRUEL more in life than they need to be

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Rhapsody said:
Thank YOU Dragonphoto for being HONEST on HOW MEN can really be....... and yes, I know that you guys also love but when the selfishness rules then love gets lost.

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BTW - - - IF a MAN had written a thread saying ALL WOMEN were *****ES - I would have given him 50% of them.
.... but I would NOT have taken it personally against myself just becasue I was a woman, for it was about HIM and HIS LIFE - not mine.

I still have to say that "A LOT of MEN" act in a SELFISH MANNER more than I witness in FEMALES....... and it just gets my anger a flaring for they do not like other people or their woman to act in the same manner toward them, yet they practice this behavior many times a week - if not every other day.

And YES........... while my first thoughts on this subject probably did spring up from the men in my own life - my belief only grew over time as I witness this same behavior in many many many many other males that were not in my personal life.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -

I wish your heart peace, my friend

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LMo said:
I wish your heart peace, my friend

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Thank YOU.......................... as do I.

I just want to comment that I know, I KNOW!, there are nice men out there. I have relatives who are wonderful men, who have been thru divorces and the dating scene and are wonderful husbands now. I look at my two grandsons, who are being raised conscientiously by my daughter and her husband, and I think, believe, they will be nice men when they grow up!
I think I am at fault for having met the men I dated thru the Internet. Anyone can be ANYTHING they wish to present themselves to be on the Internet. Another fault I exhibited was being too willing to accommodate them and overlook brilliant RED flags. I think this was because I was deprived of male company for 20 years of unhappiness and thought I could make something work afterwards. Naive on my part.
In conclusion, I just want to say that I know not all men are selfish.
Patty

This is a fact: men have been oppressing women since we as a human species have come down from the trees. We have been physically weaker and therefore easy to oppress. Why do men do that? Because they can! They have been allowed to this over centuries. It wasn't long ago that women were considered men's property. Women did not get the vote because it was "given to them". They fought, had hunger strikes, you name it, to get the vote. In every "revolution" women's rights have always been tackled last. In Afghanistan, if women decided to put men in burkas, marry them off to old women at the age of nine years old, deny them education, there would be an outcry and it would be stopped but because it's being done to women, we call it "religion" or "a different culture" and don't do anything.

All men are not selfish but if most are, there are real reasons for them. If I was a guy and saw all that I could get away with, I would try to get away with it. That's human nature.

Why do women put up with it? We need men for sex, companionship and in order to have children. Some of us are financially dependent on them. Remove the money equation and the year's of brainwashing that says we have to put ourselves last and a whole new woman emerges. Oh, yes, she's the "*****."

People have a hard time even admitting that we live in a sexist world, even though it is a FACT. It'd just be too depressing to look at reality. Yes, there are a few good men. That doesn't change the fact that those in power prefer to keep women weak. It makes for a very cheap labour force, one that is always taken advantage of. And men know it.

we came down from the trees? doh! no one told me

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spal said:
This is a fact: men have been oppressing women since we as a human species have come down from the trees.

Why do women put up with it?

We need men for sex, companionship and in order to have children. Some of us are financially dependent on them. Remove the money equation and the year's of brainwashing that says we have to put ourselves last and a whole new woman emerges. Oh, yes, she's the "*****.".

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Hmm -

Maybe this is WHY so many more women are filing for divorce than ever before...... they are finally fed up with it all.

I think that's exactly why. And of course guys are pissed and call every woman who stands up for herself a "b@llbreaker". If I was raised to expect that I would have all the power and then I didn't, I'd be pretty pissed and insulting as well.

The thing is that being angry can drive away the nice guys who are out there who aren't like that.

But it would be great to have some ACKNOWLEDGEMENT from a GUY that womens' problems are grounded in the reality of our sexist world and not because we have bloody PMS.

I was married to a very self centred man for fifteen years I did everything to do with the house the car the children the school you name it I did it, he was very good at watching football and sleeping.

Then I left him and found a wonderfull man who is the oppersite of him in every way possible ! So there are good men out there but I agree that by looking around at family and people I know that there are many men who are wrapped up in themselves,

my ex was just as selfish to the extreme ,thing is she is a woman, i am the sensitive ,thoughtful one ,maybe i have a strong feminine side?!?!? or is it a strong masculine one!?!?

At the risk of getting my head bitten off, this has not been my experience with men. My father was not this way, my brother is not, my husband is not, my brother in law is not, nor are any of my 3 sons.

I would not associate with them if they were. Life is too short to add that kind of stress to it. I know I should be treated with kindness and respect and married a man that did. I raised my children, to demand and give that treatment.

My husband isn't perfect, neither am I for that matter, but he is one of the most selfless people I know. Our wants come before his necessities. You have to fight him to spend a dime on himself. He will at a moments notice go anywhere or do anything the kids and I ask without complaint. He's not alone. My friends husbands are very similiar.

I have not doubt there are selfish men and women out there, I've met both and choose not to include them in my life.

AMEN Rhapsody.

at 41, i have dated and been around to many self serving men, so i get it.

a man must respect and support you when in need without the typical male comments. you and all women deserve better.

a selfish man only knows himself and doesn't appreciate the care and love of a good woman.

run towards your freedom without looking back. it is your human right. anyway, animals love you unconditionally and most of the time give you more comfort.

you go girl!!!

Count yourself very lucky AAAAAA and be grateful every day.

Spal makes some good points. She said:

"Why do women put up with it? We need men for sex, companionship and in order to have children. Some of us are financially dependent on them. Remove the money equation and the year's of brainwashing that says we have to put ourselves last and a whole new woman emerges. Oh, yes, she's the "*****."

It's quite interesting to read someone speaking so forcefully.

Patty

I have been watching this post for along time. I do not want to upset anyone. SO i will just give my thoughts such as they are. We as humans weather man or woman can be selfish, At least once in our lifes we all have.
Prolly more than once. I have seen good men , good woman, bad men and Bad woman. On a whole I think most of us are good ppl.
No race weather it be man or woman is more selfish than the other, It depends on the person.
Just my thoughts.
Muffy