Can't discern this guy's level of interest

Wyd guy just texted me again. And I haven't responded to his last two messages. Wondering if I should just block his number or see how many times he will continue texting me to ask me to do something super last minute?

I wouldn’t respond at all to anyone you are not interested in meeting. Since many don’t respond to messages unless there is interest, simply replying— even if it’s to say you’re not interested— is interpreted as an opening. Even with the guy texting you wyd, the fact that you even said “no” is probably being read as “not this time, maybe next time.” Responding to people you aren’t interested in is also a drain on your time. When I did online dating, I just didn’t respond to anyone who I wasn’t interested in. Even if they messaged me through the site multiple times, I just deleted the messages unread. They eventually took the hint and saved me time & energy.

He then tried to convince me that we should just "see where it goes..." Um, that's player speak for I just want to use you. And I responded that I'm not going to date someone with the hopes that I can change their mind on something so important to me. And I wished him luck and ended that conversation. I wasn't expecting anything, certainly, just thought that was an interesting interchange to share here. In fact, I only responded to him at all to see how he would respond to the rejection based on that. It was sort of an experiment. I find that people who say "Well, let's see what happens" really have no intent of committing. In my experience, men who say they are looking for new friends and will see if anything comes out of that, usually mean they are looking for a hookup or something short term, FWB, that they don't have to commit to.


Seesaw

I find this helpful for myself.

Also, though, there are guys who say in their profiles "I can't stand when women don't respond to me to tell me they're not interested. It's common courtesy." I think these guys are messed up and full of **** though.

Well, I don't respond to everyone by any means. But he gave me a nice, sweet compliment, and also seemed like a nice guy in his profile. So I thought I would be polite and say thank you and also gently let him down.

It was interesting to see the game playing happen. This is all really a social experiment...lolAbout wyd guy, yes, I am amused, BUT, I feel bad that he keeps texting, and like, maybe I should outright say "hey, I'm never going to do something at the very last second with someone I've never met. If you were trying to plan a real date, I'd be responding, but you're only messaging me when it's obvious that you're bored. So just take me off your list of possible hook-ups."

I dunno....thoughts? Or maybe he knows he's not going to get a response but just bored and trying anyhow?

Yeah, I see no problem in responding. You didn't do anything wrong. I think it's just personal preference in how you want to handle it.

The wyd guy...have you tried to tell him before? I really think it's just personal preference (whether you ignore someone completely, or block them, or outright be direct). I have been direct with guys before too, like I've said "stop contacting me," and they have listened. Not all guys are like that though, lol. Make that an experiment too, if you want, and see how he responds to you saying what you want to say. I see no problem with saying what you said you want to say to him. If he keeps saying "hey wyd" lol, after that, well, then maybe go with the blocking or taking a different course of action.

I am amused, BUT, I feel bad that he keeps texting, and like, maybe I should outright say "hey, I'm never going to do something at the very last second with someone I've never met. If you were trying to plan a real date, I'd be responding, but you're only messaging me when it's obvious that you're bored. So just take me off your list.”

I wouldn’t feel bad. Honestly, I’d probably be offended that someone thought I would be open to something like that. Who is going to say yes to “wyd?” at 11pm? What possible positive attributes does a text like that portray? Or what effort to woo? Or any interest in getting to know the person they are inviting? What must the guy think of the women he is texting that to? He must figure it’s a numbers game and is probably texting that to 20 women at once just to see if he can hook a fish for that night. I mean, it takes literally no effort to send that text on blast. Clearly, anyone deserving of on ‘s time is going to put in at least some effort to get to know you and make a positive impression.

I’m sure it is an amusing social experiment though to see...

Actually, I really want to see how long he'll text me wyd with no response. So I guess I'll see what that does...it's not like there's any emotional connection here. He's clearly into the hookup and just bored. I doubt my non-response is hurting his feelings.

Okay so...we finally met up. Had a great time. Started at one restaurant, went to a bar, ended up back at my place....okay, yes I slept with him. I don't regret it. I really needed the physical contact. And I hope we do go out again, if not, I will be disappointed, but he was practically begging me to promise him we'd get together again after my trip.

He's not without flaws. But neither am i. And he was super understanding about my scars.

Thanks for the update. Sounds like it went well and you had some fun. Woot woot!

I don't mind that people are busy. I am busy. But if I give you time on my calendar, I expect you to respect that I made time for you. If he can't keep commitments, even a date, because he over commits, that's a red flag to me.

So, we shall see what happens.

Seesaw

I wanted to revisit this point in the thread in light of the most recent events.

A point of not so much that he leads a busy life but the point of rumination and frustration on your side of the coin. After many men divorce, the tolerance bar gets heightened.

My curiosity is piqued for the sabotage factor.

So...again...met guy on dating site.

I really like him by our initial chats and short phone conversation. It's been just enough to get a feeling for each other and see if we want to meet. He's divorced, two kids, that he is very active with, he has them every other weekend. Plus he owns and runs a fair size land development business. We had initially planned to go out not last night but the Saturday before, but we both got sidelined by illness. His was worse than mine, I was just under the weather. He had some back injury and a cold.

Texting to try and meet sort of dropped off. This weekend he had to head out of state to take a broken tool to the manufacturer to get repaired (it's 8 hours away and much faster for him to drive it up and back than to ship it).

I would like to nail down at least a coffee date and see if there's anything here or if this is just going to be ongoing texts. I feel like it's just been a little bit of bad timing for us both, as we are both very busy (which I kind of like about him, like he won't be smothering me, but he's also been good about responding to my texts).

I dunno, I'm just not sure his level of interest. And if I should just cut this loose or still try to meet.

Any thoughts?

Seesaw

I can empathize with him. I too get busy and usually plans change. But ifs texting you consistently I think that tell someone you he’s interested. If he text first even better.