Nice words-help me to find some please?

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Oh, no, not meant that way.

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Oh, hey, I know...just givin' ya a hard time!

Totally agree with your POV!

(and just showing a bit of my illness...which is cool, because I get to see it all in black and white...)

Thank you for telling your stroy,Sweetcrusader. I think your advice to be guarded is good advice,as is to follow my heart,or gut instinct.Where I seem to be with all this is that I feel I want to do something ,to try but something actually stopps me from doing that.So,I'm being so guarded,so afrain I'll just get hurt more,that it's actually stopping me from doing anything.One way of looking at it is that that is my gut instinct,protecting me and telling me to stay away.

Oh,I wish I had more courage !!

I guess the trouble with this situation is that as well as saying nice words to my friend,I need to speak to her about the truth of it which is that she;
made hurtful excuses for not contacting me

told me lies

When she knew I really needed a friend ,turned her back on me and showed no compassion whatsoever ,that's why I've no idea why she bothered to send the card.

Claimed that all the above were due to mental illness,although always seemed able to do things "when it met her own needs".

I feel like,in order to be able to move forward and for my own sake,I need to talk to her about these things.If she's still how she was when we were last in touch though,all I'll get is that she knows what she did is hurtful but"can't" (although I'll read doesn't care enough to) do anything about it.Am I wrong to feel I must talk to her about these things? If I don't raise them,she sure won't.

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Am I wrong to feel I must talk to her about these things? If I don't raise them,she sure won't.

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You're not wrong. I think open communication about your needs, and your feelings is essential. If you don't talk to her about these things, but continue a friendship with her, you're risking getting burned by the same things over and over again.

I guess that if she won't talk about these things(Uses her illness as an excuse maybe?),that means she doesn't (and never did) care enough to be bothered trying? I'm just saying this because her illness never seems to have prevented her from doing something if she really really wanted to,(although that has always involved sex!)(including going on a long journey to meet someone!)

Impala, it sounds like you have nothing to lose by trying. Good luck.