[Rhapsody]

Ok NOW! - this post is about ME and how I am FEELING....... so Please - NO HATE REPLIES.

MEN........ Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Frankly after forty years of being on this earth I can honestly say that a lot of MEN (if not most) are very SELFISH MEAN and CRUEL more in life than they need to be and I could probably spend the rest of my forty or so more years here on earth with out another man in my life.

Can I get an AMEN!! to that?

I have spent a large majority of my life learning about and understanding the Male species from their POV and giving and letting be based on what they needed as a MALE...... but no more - for when I ask for just a little FEMALE understanding and support I get "I Can't" for I am MALE and I don't work that way" - well the hell with them then.

I will NO LONGER give to a MAN that cannot or is not willing to give back to ME.
I would rather live along with my animals than to waste another day of my life on a selfish male.

Can I get an AMEN!! to that?

I WANT TO BE FREE - to be ME again........ Female with out Worries of the Male kind!

[heyjoe]

Why I do declare!

[Perna]

They're weaker than we are dear! Have pity on them. They didn't learn all the useful things we did growing up. They're rather ignorant "blocks of wood"; balsa wood at that (somewhat easily carved).

I've told the story before of when my husband was going to take his youngest son swimming and was getting his gear/suit, etc. to take while I was dressing or something but shaving my legs and I jokingly said something about having to shave my legs in the first place because of MEN. He looked at me confused and couldn't for the life of him understand that MEN and pleasing them since time immemorial are why women shave their legs (and men don't). So he wandered off to the pool shaking his head :-) He comes home and is horrified because he was in the pool, went up to one side where a woman was sitting and she was European and they don't shave their legs! He was "disgusted" and couldn't understand why (since it is just "legs" and men don't shave theirs, etc.). We both laughed forever and now I can use that, just say to him, "it's like the shaving the legs thing" to help educate him.

But "my" man isn't selfish so willing to learn/biddable :-) Sorry you have had such bad luck with yours, Rhap.

[heyjoe]

does he do tricks too? like roll over, sit, stay, beg, etc.?

[bebop]

I am sorry your hubby is like that. I too have one that is very thoughtful most of the time.
In defense of men though I know alot of very selfish women. I think there is good and bad in both sexes.

[Rhapsody]

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bebop said:
I am sorry your hubby is like that.

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Me too....... but over all I am not just talking about husbands, but MEN of all adult ages and with in all types of relationships.

* * * * * * *

General POV from my side of the fence... from MY LIFE EXPERIENCE.

it is the MALES - not the FEMALES - that are more SELFISH with in a relationship - for IMO... Men only do what MEN want to do "most of the time" and IF it does not match with what you (the female) desires or wants / needs then you better forget it.

And is just down right SELFISH - SELFISH - SELFISH.

* * * * * * *

Several MALES have verified this for ME as well....... most agreed.

[Rhapsody]

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Perna said:
They're weaker than we are dear! Have pity on them. They didn't learn all the useful things we did growing up.

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Hmm -

I use to think that as well until I saw a couple of males that were raised and taught the right things and ways of life \ people \ females and yet they still turned out different once they became an adult male...... so now I think it is more of the male blue-print that lies with in them than them not knowing.

As Bill Cosby put it - "Men like to Play Stupid" - pretend they are stupid or don't know when they are not and that comes out as SELFISH a lot of the times to other people.... so my advice would be - STOP the GAMES.

[dragonphoto]

As a man, I understand where you women are coming from. I used to do for my wife while other people were around and everyone used to joke about me giving classes. However, alone I was very selfish and I feel bad about it and I am trying to change that. So to all the women out there, we can be selfish but we also love.

[heyjoe]

From my life experience i have found that when someone blames another for where they are in life or the conditions that their relationships are conducted in, that it would be most productive to look within to find out why they are attracted to those type of people in the first place and what within them attracts those type of people to them. You are describing one type of a gender, not the whole gender in general. If those have been your experiences with all men then maybe its time to ponder why.

[Rhapsody]

Thank YOU Dragonphoto for being HONEST on HOW MEN can really be....... and yes, I know that you guys also love but when the selfishness rules then love gets lost.

(and)

[dragonphoto]

Trust me I know I am trying to get the trust and love back. There will be one less selfish man.

[InACorner]

((((Rhapsody))))) i understand

[DocClyde]

(((Rhap)))

There are a few good men and a few good women, in my POV. There are a lot of in betweens, and a bunch of crappy men and women

Hope you feel better soon...

[seeker1950]

Rhapsody...
Okay, at 47 I divorced, just so happy to finally be free after a long unhappy, unromantic, loveless marriage. I've told this before, but I waited till our daughter left for college because from her infancy onward, when I talked about separation and divorce, I was threatened with "being out on the street with nothing," and having my daughter taken away from me.
It's old history now, but at the time, I had no employment prospects and I truly believed him.
Since my divorce, I've met nothing but "selfish" men...
Hey, you men out there...I am not a man-hater at all, but, now, 10 years of dating and forming relationships, giving my all, has done it for me. My exhusband actually seems like a "knight in shining armour" compared to what I've encountered in the singles' scene.
Yes, my pets and my work are my life now, and much less stressful!
Patty

[Rhapsody]

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seeker1950 said:
Yes, my pets and my work are my life now, and much less stressful!
Patty

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AMEN!! - I hear you Girl.......................

[magasanguis]

Now here's something I can't understand that perhaps you can help me with, Rhapsody. If women don't want to deal with selfish men, why bother with dating?

I think part of my ignorance comes from my age, and perhaps it's different in an adult social scene, but I know as a teenager, there are NOTHING BUT selfish boys (not men yet, obviously). Selfish, immature, inexperienced, rude boys. So I don't concern myself with dating.

I guess that there are plenty of grown women out there that feel like they need to put up with selfishness and rudeness because it's a priority to start a family. But it seems to me like it's up to the individual to decide if it's worth all that.

Does that happen in the adult world? Does that make sense?

[Rhapsody]

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magasanguis said:
Now here's something I can't understand that perhaps you can help me with, Rhapsody.
If women don't want to deal with selfish men, why bother with dating?

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IMO - this is when the guys put their best foot forward as to try and win you over, so you do not really know the real them yet........ but then BAM - once they have you in the relationship the SELFISHNESS comes out. (old bait and switch if you ask me).

And what is the old saying.......... ?

"WOMEN fall in LOVE with a Man's POTENTIAL"

This is were we, the female, go wrong - for some men never measure up to their potential...

[Rhapsody]

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heyjoe said:
If those have been your experiences with all men then maybe its time to ponder why.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Not just from my personal expereinces with males, but from listening to other females as well.......... and most of the time these females will either vent about or just merely state / agree that their MEN are SELFISH.

Go Figure.......... IDK - just the FACTS as I see them / hear them to be.

[magasanguis]

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Rhapsody said:
"WOMEN fall in LOVE with a Man's POTENTIAL"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I don't agree with that statement, which is I guess why I don't date.

It seems unfair that a woman should date a man with the intent of changing him. Perhaps that's why men turn selfish - as a defense to their feeling like they're being robbed of themselves...? I know if I were in that position, I would be taking all I could get.

But again, this is the thought process of a teenager...

[heyjoe]

i have to agree with that experience and outlook on men in general, that it would be in your best interest as well as the potential men in your life not to date, marry or bother with men at all.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
magasanguis said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said:
"WOMEN fall in LOVE with a Man's POTENTIAL"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It seems unfair that a woman should date a man with the intent of changing him.
Perhaps that's why men turn selfish - as a defense to their feeling like they're being robbed of themselves...?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I agree with you there......... and yet I did not try to change my man - I gave him the world and his space (and sex) as needed..... and all I asked in return was the basic needs of any human in love with another "trust, love, respect, time and intimacy" - and the SELFISHNESS still reared its ugly head.

Now What could the Reason be?
- other than personal inner blue-print? - genetic make up?

[Rhapsody]

Second Thought.......

I do not necessarily find "Falling in Love with a Man's Potential" - an act of trying to change him.....
but rather an act of waiting on him to Mature into WHO he is to be - that which we all should do as we age and grow.

[Rhapsody]

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heyjoe said:
i have to agree with that experience and outlook on men in general, that it would be in your best interest as well as the potential men in your life not to date, marry or bother with men at all.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">



Good One There......... MAN is SELFISH and it is ME that should not bother or that has the problem. (good one)

[heyjoe]

now you are onto something, the picture is getting clearer

[Rhapsody]

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heyjoe said:
now you are onto something, the picture is getting clearer

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Teehee - Good One Again....... Now can we stay with the purpose of the board - SUPPORT?