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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,178
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#21
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That being said, right now with all our technology and how much more exposure we get to the dysfunction taking place in our political parties right now, it definitely IS very toxic. Again, this is not an example of how "all" people behave. There are a lot of people that are choosing to tune all this out and reduce their exposure and focus on being productive in their own lives. There is a lot of narcissism taking place in our society right now, yet, the key is making it a point to distance from how much you are exposed to the "drama". |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Dallasish, TX
Posts: 30
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#22
hhhmmmm....I have an Eastern philosophy with regard to life, so I don't know that I can agree with the idea that society dictates how we act with an iron fist. Anyway, I don't think that is the important part here...
I don't hate you. I can actually relate to a lot of what you're saying. I came from a very abusive family. I'm not saying that this is true for you, but it was true for me, my family made me hate life and hate people. Everyone was mean, nasty, and out for themselves no matter the cost. I was taught that I had to hurt or risk being hurt. My family is the cause of my C-PTSD. I was constantly in a defensive posture, ready to do battle at the first sign of someone doing something that might hurt me. I was a bitter, angry young man. At some point, I had decided that society was so horrible and I couldn't fight against it, that I tried to kill myself. Again, that's just the effect that it had on me. |
MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes
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MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
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#23
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Furthermore, the duty to punish bad behavior lies above all things - including my own continued existence. If I were to encourage bad behavior by eschewing my duty, I would not deserve to live myself, and would be honor-bound to commit suicide. The fact that you people choose to punish me for doing the right thing simply because you "don't like" it makes you all the morally bankrupt people. Humanity is spoiled by the lack of punishment they receive and that is why they cannot be trusted to act in a non-toxic manner - they have "learned", through this lack of punishment, that there is no consequence to their actions no matter what they do - and then they make me bear those consequences by force. Human beings know right from wrong only from punishment. An unpunished person is an untrustworthy person. Every person who has abused someone on this board did so because they were not adequately punished. The proper execution of punishment would prevent a great many traumas. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
7 |
#24
But you don't respect me - you can't; as a human being you lack the faculty at the neurological level. You will hate me; it's only a matter of time.
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My peers are just as abusive as my family was - that's the problem. There is no one who isn't abusive to me; human toxicity is universal. It is the fact that people are exclusively toxic - that zero humans treat me as an equal - that is the source of my pain. My family I can leave behind, but I'm surrounded by humanity. As long as humanity decides I am not its equal, I will always be in danger. Thanks to humanity, I no longer have the option of continuing to live - they have inflicted injuries on me that will kill me in less than thirteen months. They have shown how far they're willing to go to eliminate what they delusionally consider a threat. Negotiating a compromise is no longer an option - it seems it never was, and my life's efforts have been a waste. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#25
I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, TheUrOther You don't deserve to suffer at all. I'm so sorry. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, TheUrOther. You're a strong, wonderful person and you deserve to live a good life. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
5 117 hugs
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#26
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Hmmmm, does this not strike you as a red flag? If you are unwilling to hold a positive dialogue no wonder everyone is being so negative to you. I wish I could be supportive and vindicate for you your feelings on this. But, I personally will not encourage them. You have got to want to be positively thought of by those around you. The answer, quite seriously, is that you need to improve your communication strategy in such manner that those around you appreciate and wish to engage with you. I really don't think you can complain given such attitude. I hope you can come to this realisation and make a concerted effort to be friendly - and reap the rewards of having done so. Change starts with ourselves. |
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Calla lily12
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
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#27
What part of dying from untreatable injuries do you not understand? It's not getting better. Ever.
You say that, yet everyone is working very hard to make me suffer. You want to help me? Cripple every person making my life worse. |
Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Dallasish, TX
Posts: 30
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#28
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I see you as a strong person who has endured pain. The fact that you are reaching out to others shows that you are even stronger than being able to handle the pain. That is courageous and truly respectable. Quote:
I believe that all of us are equals. Some are better at some things than others are, but those same people are worse at other things. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
7 |
#29
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I have spent more than thirty-five years changing to satisfy the demands of an intolerant and malicious species. I was friendly until I was instructed by a doctor not to be because I had been lethally injured by those same people and continuing to be "friendly" would likely get me killed. I started with change and got effectively murdered for my efforts. Don't hand me this steer manure that "I'm not willing to hold a positive dialogue" - you're not willing to allow me to exist! You are simply excusing my abusers for their abuse. You are a gaslighter and should be banned from this board. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,826
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#30
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__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
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#31
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You all think I'm so radically different that you can't tolerate me, but you're willing to pretend to think I'm human if it means you can insult me - but only then. You refuse to see the good side of me because it'll force you to acknowledge you're worse than me because you've senselessly rejected me for so long. You won't acknowledge the real me because you'll hate yourself when you realize what you've done. I "lump all humans as being the same" because you all behave the same - not one of you dissented to my abuse growing up, so why would you radically change your position now? You're asking me to act on something that has been proven statistically false on the idea that it might change in the future despite there being no route to change, many reasons to stay the same, and statistical proof you can't change. Your position simply isn't logical. The fact that no one disagreed with my abuse is proof positive that you all behave the same. Period. Full stop. Any perceived difference is a delusion you use to excuse your further abuse. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,826
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19 14.7k hugs
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#32
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__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Calla lily12
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,178
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13 21.4k hugs
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#33
TheUrOther, I think you are so much in your own head with all this abuse you suffer that you are expecting others here to be right in your head with you when no one can do that.
No one is siding with your abusers, a high percentage of members here have been victims and do understand the challenge and would not want you to think they are saying abuse is acceptable on any level. It's damn hard when someone has so much abuse in their head and they wish they could somehow connect a camera to their brain so other people can witness it and get angry too. I have had that HUGE desire myself. I feel that words are not enough to articulate all the negative body language, the sneering that is done with others with that look "oh look at her she is a bad person". I really wish I could run a film from my brain to show people how my mother had a stroke that I just happened to witness and I am in the ER when my sister storms through the doors in front of all the people in that ER and accuses me of causing my mother to experience that stroke. NOT ONE PERSON protected me and she went in that examining room and the nurses did not want me to go in just so I could see how my mother was. Why the hell did they NOT DO THAT TO MY SISTER? It was her that came storming through the doors in a rage, NOT ME. Oh, I wish I could play that video out so people would really SEE what I am dealing with and how NO ONE helps me in EVERY DAMN experience. Even when my husband witnessed it, he stood there like a dummy. Oh there were so many times I experienced bad things and no one helped me or protected me. It did not even matter when there were witnesses. I did not do anything wrong either, and the power went to the abusive person. I know the anger and I am sure others here wish they could really SHOW the people and the REAL LIFE scenario. With this kind of trauma, and it IS trauma that happens when being bullied AND trapped with that bully ALONE and EVEN with witnesses, there is a huge desire for "justice". It's so damn hard when the bully wins, when the bully gets their way even when others are there witnessing it. I do not know why BULLIES get their way, it's something I have been wondering about all my life. I don't know if this is connected to our early primitive primate nature because if you watch primates this is the case where the bully gets their way. Bullies and abusers somehow KNOW who to gang up on and pick on too. The person they pick on isn't a bad person either usually. I don't want to tell you I don't believe you or that you don't have a right to feel the anger you feel. I do wish I could hand you some kind of video you could attach to your head so you could play it instead of struggling with words because it's really hard to find the words that can have the same affect as the actual picture. I get it, I get the anger and that deep desire for justice. And justice, no matter how hard you TRY doesn't happen, and that makes the anger even worse. Thing is you have to be careful with all that anger that you have built up in you. Yes, it can be blinding. Yet it's important that you don't get SO ANGRY that you punish others who really don't deserve it. Just because someone isn't responding the way you need it, doesn't mean that person deserves to be hurt. More often than not, all it means is the other person just doesn't know. And often the truth about "why" others don't do something is they are afraid too. I have noticed times when my sister exhibits her negative body language and she walks down the hall of a hospital in disatisfaction and people literally HIDE from her. Oh, I wish I could show that video too. It's ok to VENT your anger, but it's important that you don't hurt others when you do so. And sometimes if triggered, that can be hard and I think that is where you are now tbh. You keep thinking people are telling you to give in to your abuser and that is not what they are saying. I know how that can feel too and I am sure there are others that can relate. It really sounds like you have been bullied, been hurt, been victimized and no one HELPED YOU OR STOOD UP FOR YOU. That can feel VERY lonely and at the same time create a lot of anger and resentments. That is what your input so far has been reflecting that I am picking up and can even relate to. |
Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
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#34
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This is a perfect example of the double standards I've been talking about. You are allowed to make excuses and judge me, but you say I'm not. This is what I mean by saying you don't treat me equally. You can do whatever you want to me, but I'm not allowed to do anything. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,178
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13 21.4k hugs
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#35
Complex post traumatic stress disorder (complex ptsd, pdsd, shell shock, nervous shock, combat fatigue), symptoms and the difference between mental illness and psychiatric injury explained
I am trying to give you a link to information that you might like reading. I saved it because when I found it, it was explaining things I could not explain at the time. Quote:
Last edited by Open Eyes; Mar 14, 2019 at 07:29 PM.. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
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#36
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Humanity has established a solid track record of abuse, neglect, and rejection. To suggest that any member of a species under the rule of a tyrannical society would ever change and not be any of those in the future is simply absurd; there is no previously-existing evidence of such behavior, and I soundly reject the practices of faith or hope, or believing that wanting something to happen will make it come true. Thinking people will change or be different from one another is simply not logical. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,178
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#37
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Also, I would appreciate it if you would not say "you" meaning me is not doing anything about it. I HAVE MOST DEFINITELY FOUGHT BACK. I think you need to take the accusations to "a lot of people" don't do anything about it, but that simply isn't true of ALL people. A lot of people DO FIGHT BACK, even when it's a very hard battle to do so. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,826
(SuperPoster!)
19 14.7k hugs
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#38
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Do you expect a policeman to stop a crime when he has no idea it is happening & is blocks away until the call for help comes in? __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,178
(SuperPoster!)
13 21.4k hugs
given |
#39
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I am trying to point out how your anger has turned into your EVERYONE, YOU, want to let my abusers kill me. This is a lot of anger directed at people you don't even know and are just assuming are siding with your abusers. I hope you read the link I posted. There are people that are learning about how abuse affects the human mind. There are people that are focusing on this very real human challenge and are drawing attention to it. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
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#40
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The fact is that there are too few people attempting to help to actaully achieve any true help, as is evidenced by me never having experienced any of this benefit. You may be able to help you and yours, but you clearly can't help me, even if you may want to. Until you actually achieve something, I have to treat you like you aren't because people worse than you will simply not try and pretend they did. |
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