Cuckolded

So she knew all of that and still, she slept with him?... Dude, what in the world are you doing with that woman? I'm so sorry, but I HAVE TO SAY IT. Do what you want, but, please, think it through, so you won't hurt yourself.

Because I love her, I don’t know what else to do...

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Originally Posted by Yourself Because I love her, I don’t know what else to do...

I just wanted to say @Yourself that its ok to love someone but also have boundaries. I get it that he is abusive to her and that maybe she is caught in a cycle and that is one reason she slept with him. But it still is not ok. It just isnt ok.

Dude... Please just save yourself. I agree with sarahsweets, the main problem is not whose baby it is BUT she cheats on you. Your relationship has already gone downhill, leave before you got dragged deeper, hurt and lose more than you have right now. Use your logic, not your feelings. She will drag you down. Yes it will be painful to leave and move on at this moment, but the outcome in the future would be better.

But if you really want to keep her, that's your choice and we can't force you not to. If you really do, prepare yourself to suffer more than you currently endure.... and she might probably leave you someday for that (or another) guy.

I’m not in a good place

And you can't stay there. You have to do something. Distance yourself from our advices for a moment and think big. Ten years from now. Get a piece of paper and try to predict what can happen, point by point, two scenarios - staying with her, or moving forward. Maybe it's gonna help.

One day I’m all in wanting to be there in every way but then I her days I can’t even stop crying and hate everything so much I don’t think I could ever handle it... Im trying to do what I think is right and I’m trying to do it the best I can and I know I’m disappointing plenty of you trying to help me but I gotta do what I believe should be done even if it means giving up on my own life. It’s just the way I am 😔

Go for it then. Life is not black and white, we do have strategies. Work on a backup plan, secure yourself IN CASE things go south. Best of luck.

Well I finally talked to my family about my situation and I think I may have just been cut off...☹️ It would seem ill have to choose between the two...

Bless your heart. I don't believe in karma or that things happen for a reason cuz I know none of it is true. Everything is random, you're just more random than most.

I'd be dumping whoever said I had to choose.

Nobody actually said I had to choose but I know I can’t have both... no matter what I choose someone will be disappointed and I don’t see an option where I’m actually happy.

Why were you trying to have a baby outside of marriage? Why would your fiancé give you details about her affair such as that she was using protection? Why would she not want you to adopt the child and completely eliminate the biological father from the picture until the child is an adult if he doesn't want the baby? Why is this your only chance to have a family with her when there are fertility enhancements and adoptions?

Well, the more I read what every one has to say I’m starting to realize I just don’t want to let go. Even if there isn’t anything there left to hold onto I wasn’t ready to lose so much of my life all at once. Every day we don’t fight is just a tease I’ll never have again... I know a lot of you are frustrated with my dilemma because apparently everybody on here and in my life I’ve talked to has said the exact same thing to me.... I’m just not ready to accept it yet I guess. Nice guys finish last and I’m the apex of pathetic in a world of users. I got lost in something I didn’t know about and now that I’m so far in and gone not only do I not know how to get out but I’m not sure if I even want to. I’ll admit, obviously, I have several mental ailments I’m dealing with that are not helping with my situation at all either. Nothing dangerous or even medicated(anymore) so it’s not an immediate issue as far as I can see.

For what it's worth, everyone said I shouldn't marry my husband because he was an out of control alcoholic and I had a young daughter. He was a complete wild man who had no concept of moderation and had a tendency to collect DUI's. He kept asking me to marry him and I kept telling him to get bent because I had responsibilities to my daughter and my career.
Then his friends started asking me what I had done to him. They said he changed and suddenly started behaving responsibly. I was very skeptical, but that soon passed.
He is my best friend and soulmate, and we have been together 30 years.
Sometimes, people are wrong.

When I was much younger and before I was married my then-boyfriend and I separated for some months. During that time I became pregnant from a man I was dating. But my then-boyfriend had second thoughts about he and I splitting up and made his thoughts known to me. In the meantime, the baby's father opted to be out of the picture.

My then-boyfriend wanted to raise the baby with me. We decided to get married. We raised our daughter together and, a few years later, had a son. Ironically, my daughter and my husband have always been especially close.

As for her biological father, he has very occasional contact with my daughter, just to basically say Hello, how are you. But my daughter fully considers her adoptive father (my husband) her "dad." She's now almost 36 years old.

If everyone in the picture is mature about the situation and never uses the child as a pawn - never - the situation can work out to be wonderful.

Every child deserves to be loved and cherished. It's only our selfish egos that stand in the way of that.

The key words. I wonder if it'd go the same way if you became pregnant from a man you f*cked behind your husband's back.

An excellent distinction and point.

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Originally Posted by MisterPaul The key words. I wonder if it'd go the same way if you became pregnant from a man you f*cked behind your husband's back.

Although your question is rudely worded, I'll answer it: Yes. My husband has a big heart, a small ego, and room to love any child. And vice-versa; I would feel the same way were he to conceive a child outside of our marriage. 'Nuf said.

She says the same thing to me that if it were the other way around she would gladly raise my child with someone else but 1. I don’t believe that for a second. And 2. I can’t have kids anyway so it’s very easy to say that when it’ll never be an issue anyway...

So, If you don’t believe her, please, think it twice about go on with her. You have the right to find happiness.
You are the right one to know how your future with her could be, not us.
In marriages, in couples, there aren’t rules that say this is good or bad (this is updated as a user stated) only the one the members of the couple decide.

Wonder yourself if you are gonna be happy in these circumstances. You have the right to think about what it best for you. Do you feel she loves you? So go ahead. This is the most important but if you have a doubt, let her cope with the consequences of her acts.

I wonder why she in the earth told this guy she was pregnant?

I also wonder why you have so clear that she would never raise a kid you conceived with another woman? The History is full of examples like this. You could have more clues about her that you don’t share with us. So, it’s necessary that you follow your guts since you are the one who knows her better.

Your case is not under the same circumstances. You were separated from your ex. You can’t compare.

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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro Your case is not under the same circumstances. You were separated from your ex. You can’t compare.

My point is not about adult egos, but about the innocent child in question.

I think I messed up... I’m sleeping with a pregnant woman... I am weak 😔 and confused, everyday feels like a nightmare I thought I woke up from but never did...

But.. with your pregnant woman or did you find another one?

Good point. My grandfather was a wonderful man, husband, father and grandfather, great person all together. He wasn’t my mom’s bio father. But he was her father. We never even think about that he didn’t conceive her. I think people put too much emphasis on who biologically conceived a child, instead of who is actually being a parent.